Stalked by My Doctors...

I watched all the Stalked by My Doctors. (I think.) The series is about a psychotic geriatric creep who's obsessed with finding a woman to love, only the woman specifically needs to be much younger than him and more specifically of general high school age. Also the deranged elder is a doctor even though throughout all the movies he moves like a criminally-deranged homeless bum and not one of those heroic type "bums" that have like ptsd from being mkultraed in the army or they just straight up can't afford rent due to our overlords pricing them out of being able to support themselves on their full-time job - no he moves like the type of homeless person that is homeless for a reason, like he's a crackhead and killed a child or he just sucks and no one wants to help him which is actually pretty much the personality of our protagonist/villain Dr. Albert Beck. Also, and the series never properly addresses this, though it's like a *huge* aspect of his character in my opinion: this eighty-ninety year old man is almost definitely a virgin. We never see him fawk on-screen, though it's occasionally alluded to--but I would bet my life this creepy old man has never fully engaged in intercourse. So I think it's pretty natural for a guy like that to stalk and assault several teenage girls. We're all fighting our own private battles :')

This is the title card for the first movie (there are 5 so far..), so you see we're very unserious straight away <3

Our Stalk Doctor, the prince of the hour, Dr. Albert Beck, is on the search for his soulmate. Here he is trolling a dating site of sorts and looking through some profiles. Are those their ages in dog years? And mind you Dr. Albert is like ninety-seven, giving half corpse, and you can tell straight away he's not even really satisfied dating these women half his age. I wonder if showing us these profiles is supposed to be like from his distorted POV? Like women in their thirties look way older in his eyes than they normally would? Anyway, our main character is just like straight up an ephebophile and these movies are completely played as comedies - he's like Pennywise in a sense where you're like this clown is definitely a pedophile right? But at least IT is classified as a horror like these movies are just straight up comedies like nothing is funny at all (It's kind of funny, just trust me they pull it off, tho I do think everyone responsible for making these movies should all go straight to maximum security federal prison and especially the mostest Eric Roberts lmao)

Stalk Doctor's 1st victim is a teenage girl named Sophie he treats after she gets in a car accident with her boyfriend. He just sees her and falls in love straight away at her bedside. Pretty sure he asks her out on a sushi date? Mind you she's actively passing away.

This is Sophie's boyfriend. He's literally responsible for their accident because he was texting while driving. And somehow his phone survived the crash and he still has the audacity to be chattering away? Keep in mind that his girlfriend almost died and needs heart surgery because of him but okay.

Dr. Beck openly lusting after Sophie while performing like open heart surgery on her???? There are other people in the room and also Sophie is dying???

Stalk Doctor was so funny when he walked out to tell Sophie's parents that she'd survived the surgery. Eric Roberts looks like he's playing a doctor in a porno in all these movies (complimentary)

Nothing just Dr. Beck strolling into his patient's room, brimming with lust, whilst anxiously biting his fingernails??

There are some genuinely shocking moments in these movies, and pretty much all of them involve Eric Roberts lustfully touching an actress playing a teenage girl. Please why is he brushing his fingers across her lips NURSE!!!!

HE'S KISSING HER ON THE LIPS AND SHE'S ASLEEP??!?!?!

Sophie wakes up after surgery and can still feel Dr. Beck's kiss on her lips I'm gonna be sick

I love how empty you can tell the mansion is just from the exterior shot

Empty ass interior shot lol

Me watching these movies to see my man E-Rob. Sigh, he always delivers (derogatory)

Stalk Doc goes on a date with this semi-age-appropriate woman and he turns her off in less than five minutes by essentially asking her to move into his home, quit her job and be his wife/prisoner. She's like wtf. He starts going off on her when she pushes back and eventually she gets up to leave and as she's leaving he screams at her and calls her a fat ass bitch (which I shamefully laughed at) and then he told her he was unfriending her. It's a wonder why bae is single.

Eric Roberts moves around in these movies like an Arkham Asylum escapee that Arkham Asylum will refuse to accept back if like Batman or whoever catches him and tries to bring him back (Idk wtf happens in those comics lol)

Another genuinely shocking and grotesque moment was when Dr. Beck goes into Sophie's room to change her bandage (nurses usually do this I'm pretty sure) just as an excuse to molest her. The way he's rubbing ointment in her wound is making me so nauseous please

*stomach churning sounds* STOP RUBBING HER WOUND!!

Please why are you hugging your teenage patient and why are your eyes closed while you're doing it? Is there no regulatory board or like anyone watching these doctors like someone needs to see this!!

Sophie's mom notices that Dr. Beck is "flirting" with Sophie/being weird. She tells Sophie that she is "so naive" when Sophie expresses dismay that Dr. Beck is into her and then tells her not to wear anymore slutty dresses when she goes to see him???

Empty ass office these sets are so cheap lol

Oh nothing just Dr. Beck caressing the finger of a teenage girl he stalked to "accidentally" bump into her at a mall while she was out with her friend and then he gave the friend like a hundred dollars to go get hot chocolate so she'd leave and he could be alone with his victim and molest her in peace :)

There's like a random slideshow showing Dr. Beck's various achievements after Sophie and her mom talk to the dad about Dr. Beck's inappropriate behavior and the dad just starts defending Dr. Beck because he's like distinguished and has achieved so many things as a doctor like what does any of that have to do with him molesting and harassing your daughter??

I'm pretty sure this is from a scene where Dr. Beck breaks into Sophie's house and goes to her room and starts sniffing the dress from one of her dolls??? Scenes like this are genuinely humorous but it's like why is an old man stalking and creeping on a teenage girl being played for comedic effect like can sum1 call the police???

He starts sniffing Sophie's bed and rubbing himself around in her sheets??

The Pedo Prince literally hides in Sophie's closet and watches an intimate romantic scene take place between her and her also teenage boyfriend. I'm truly shocked this series never has a scene where Stalk Doc is creepily spying on one of his several teenage victims while furiously masturbating. There was a moment in movie 5 where I thought, terribly, it was going to happen, but thankfully it never did. Crazy how none of these movies even come *close* to being as criminally horrendous as Gus Van Sant's Psycho remake.

He's such a grandmother looking at his phone lol

No problem bruh

This is Stalk Doctor texting from the phone of Sophie's bf. He's sending a text to Sophie's bf's friend I guess expecting the friend will tell his gf who is Sophie's bestie and then Sophie will break up with her boyfriend and then Stalk Doctor can finally be with his one true love. Stalk Doctor maneuvers like such a middle school mean girl through all these movies and it's really funny. Feel like instead of an elderly male doctor he'd really thrive as a slightly overweight 12 year old girly teen girl bully. In a way it makes you empathize with him but then you remember he's like a full blown teenage girl molester and immediately stop feeling bad

Stalk Doc shows up again while Sophie is out shopping with a friend and gifts her a doll. ???? Me when I'm an old man who has a totally normal crush on a girl sixty years my junior who still plays with dolls :)

Rejected by his child bride, Stalk Doc finds comfort in a friend who cannot resist or protest in terror

Me when I'm not deranged

If you're an Eric Roberts fangirl who just loves seeing him be completely off his shit then the Stalk Doctor movies are the movies for you. This is just literally a scene where Eric Roberts is furiously destroying a doll. It's so funny and the evil demons who make these movies know exactly what I came to see <3

This is so funny. Sophie's mom essentially pulls Sophie from Stalk Doctor's care, so naturally he must find a way to eliminate her. He pulls up her medical records and it shows she has all these issues dealing with perimenopause. These movies are highkey anti-women and sometimes I feel bad for laughing lol like literally the "hero" of the series is a serial teenage girl molester and it's played as a joke like I need to stop being fake I know exactly what these movies are about lol. So anyway after we get the vaginal dryness tea on Miss Mamas, Stalk Doctor devises the genius idea to send her tampered menopause medication in the mail. Which comes across so silly and unrealistic but these aren't real movies at all so just laugh and move on. Anyway he tries to kill Sophie's mom but it doesn't work because Stalk Doctor highkey like isn't smart at all it's so funny he doesn't seem particularly intelligent lmao and for the entire first movie I am wondering how he even has time to do his doctor work because it seems he is entirely consumed by insanity and spending almost all of his thinking moments obsessed with a teenage girl lol but I guess that's part of the comedy~ (I think)

Literally me

Their's is a love like no other :')

Stalk Doctor was beaming from ear to ear, so excited to give his teenage bride/captive a cute little wash cloth bath in their marital bed. He is so kind :)

Everything Eric Roberts does is funny. The way he was squirting the soap had me in hysterics

Instead of straight up sexual assault or rape scenes, which I'm glad these movies don't really have cuz I'm just here to have a good time not feel scared and depressed lol--instead, what these movies will do, to be as suggestive as possible without it being too ~serious~, is they will have the Stalk Doctor do something like rub a wash cloth across the leg of a teenage girl he is holding captive in his empty McMansion and it will be genuinely some of the grossest shit you will ever see

Idk if this is random but I thought it was really funny that Stalk Doctor made breakfast for his kidnap victim and it was like a really heavy meal of chicken and potatoes and when he's carrying it up the stairs the plate looks really heavy in his hands idk lol you just have to see it for yourself

Stalk Doctor is so scary grandmother coded (complimentary)

This was truly a diva moment when Sophie rolled up to her own funeral. Real movies aren't even doing it like this

Please this dramatic ass unnamed character falling out when Sophie appeared alive at her funeral lmao ma'am who even are you??

Sophie's boyfriend is literally crippled but when he sees her at the funeral he drops his cane and is suddenly healed and totally able-bodied?? Y'alls pussy can't do that.

You guys are judging Stalk Doc for fumbling Sophie but did you forget he was an idiot? Are you just gonna gloss over the fact that he probably has vaginal dryness but in his bussy? Did you stop to think he's an elderly virgin and humiliatingly inexperienced? Before you judge him, judge YOURSELF.

Movie 2, Stalked by My Doctor: The Return, opens with Stalk Doc in like Mexico or some shit on the run from the feds and he's on a date with a woman who's actually closer to his age and of course she drags him to hell and back for bragging about having a mansion and a boat. Queen is like I'm a CEO I made a million dollars last year, I could buy your house and boat and eat it for breakfast. PERIOD!! lol but why do these movies highkey try to make it seem like ~older women~ are unreasonable for clocking Stalk Doctor and dragging him for being basic and a clown? Like he's a loser lol. Anyway, Teenage victim #2 loading...

I'm not exaggerating when I say this scene had me in hysterics. I mean I was sobbing and laughing so hard that I had stomach cramps the next day and then I was laughing again for getting the cramps. Idk if I'm just fucking stupid (It's this) but this just was genuinely the funniest thing I have ever seen.

Please this snapshot is killing me. In movie 2 Stalk Doc develops an obsession with the teenage girl he saves on the beach via CPR. He literally abandons his hiding place in Mexico probably and reenters the states to stalk his victim there. In order to get closer to the girl, his idea is to woo her mother, who is still grieving the death of her husband. Idk about you guys, but I think it'll all work out this time. The Stalk Doctor fumbled Sophie but what are the chances of him fumbling kidnapping and forcing a teenage girl to be his child bride a second time? Probably pretty low!

Lmao this is Stalk Doctor's therapist, that he seemingly voluntarily sought treatment from after the Sophie catastrophe and literally fleeing the states to escape prosecution. It appears he has been at least vaguely honest with his therapist and has divulged his "issue" with younger women, tho it's clear she doesn't know about the "incident" with Sophie. I love her she's a queen and I just think it's super funny Stalk Doc was aware enough to seek treatment while he's literally on the run from the law. Like it makes me want to root for him but at the same time it's like are you DUMB. He completely dismisses her counsel tho once he finds his next victim and subsequently terminates her as his therapist. Onto teenage victim numero dos!!

The mom in movie 2 is initially not interested in Stalk Doc and thinks he's weird and off-putting, as middle-aged women tend to respond to him, but out of nowhere she eventually gives in? I was wondering what about anything he did made her change her mind but I can't recall. To be fair, I binged all five movies over the course of like 3 days and incurred quite a lot of brain damage from doing so, so likely I just lost that part of my brain that has that information :)

I wasn't sure if this scene was supposed to be intentionally funny but Stalk Doc goes over to his ~new girlfriend's~ house to help her with her insomnia and anxiety. He says he has a beverage that will help her to sleep which I think is maybe some turmeric and lemon with hot water. There's a moment where's he's getting the ingredients like out of his bag and he's like "let me get to the fridge" and walks over to her fridge and the lady is like ??? and says "What can I get 4 you" and opens the fridge herself and then they are both looking in the fridge for a lemon. Now that I'm thinking about it it was probably him trying to see what they had in the fridge that he could reasonably poison lol but the moment is just really awkward and funny in a way where I couldn't tell if it was purposely humorous which made it funnier

Why does he stand like that

Five seconds ago this woman was totally grossed out by Stalk Doc now she's feeding him grapes. I guess Albert's dried up old bussy still has some spark to it.

Stalk Doctor's face when the boyfriend of Teenage Victim #2 accuses him of lusting after his girlfriend and Stalk Doc says incredulously "she's old enough to be my daughter!" and the boyfriend is like "Granddaughter" (clock it! and also, LMAOO!!)

Stalk Doc will be doing shit like pouring iced tea into a blender to mix with like 500 arsenic tablets and it will honestly be the funniest thing in the world to me :')

The way this iced tea is clearly poisoned lol. Who goes into the fridge and grabs a bottle that is already opened and looks off-color and just starts immediately chugging?? Yts I swear

This got a big laugh out of me (am I mentally challenged?) - Stalk Doc is so insane (compliment)

This is the "teenage" boyfriend of Stalk Doc's teenage victim #2. Sir, you're 40.

This is Uncle Roger, the brother of Teenage victim #2's mom. Teenage Vic 2 literally has to call her mom's loser brother to come visit them and try to convince her mom not to marry a man she told her mother straight up tried to perv on her. The daughter telling the mother "hey this old pervert boyfriend of urs tried to lowkey creep on me" and getting dismissed is actually real and it took me out of the comedy of the movie a bit lol cuz I felt genuinely bad for the daughter and then she's so desperate she has to call this clear loser who is totally useless and then of course he comes up to visit his sister and is able to effect literally zero change so that's just great :) I hated this guy straight away because I wasn't feeling his vibes, he's just not my type of guy, but he had a moment where he gagged his sister when he says about Stalk Doc "he saves [ur daughter's] life so you marry the guy?" - something like that, but it really put things into perspective because the mom didn't even know this dude it was just the random old man who gave her daughter cpr like u don't need to marry him for that and becuz he made u sum tea, just say thanks and be on your way??

While I wasn't feeling Uncle Roger, you can't deny he dropped some HEAT with this record

Me whenever Stalk Doc puts his lips or hands on a teenage girl..

This is so funny? Stalk Doc literally just dissolves Uncle Roger's body in hydrochloric acid and we never hear about him ever again? lmaooo Also, Breaking Bad told me that if you try to dissolve a body in acid in a tub that the acid will eat through the porcelain and all the wood and wires and shit in your house so what's tea? Maybe the tub is plastic? All the sets in these movies look cheap as shit, so sure!

Me anytime Eric Roberts touches or gets uncomfortably close to any of the soft and nubile actresses

Me on my honeymoon :')

I love how you can see the exercise equipment that the people who own the house that's being rented out to production have shoved off to the side

So funny to have Stalk Doctor reading from an unmarked copy of "Lolita". He's in prison by the end of movie 2 but wink wink not for long ;)

Movie 3 is called Stalked by My Doctor: Patient's Revenge, so, dun dun: Sophie's back on some Kill Bill type shit. She's all ~edgy~ and Ashley Kerwin Degrassi: Next Gen Season 2 coded. Here we see she's just awakened from like a nightmare and has a wig and full face of makeup on. Girl, maybe going to sleep in your party city costume is like impeding you entering into full REM sleep idk

At the beginning of movie 3 Stalk Doc is actually doing well for himself and has a girlfriend which I didn't realize until looking over these screencaps is the woman who plays the mom of his victim in movie 5 (long story). Anyway he blows it, so don't start poppin' bottles just yet!

My face when in movie 3, Stalk Doc is found not guilty of all his charges (kidnapping, molesting at least two teens, impersonating a doctor, holding a teen against their will, issuing fake herpes results, poisoning iced tea, throwing a woman off a building, having weird fingers, etc) because he seduces a member of the jury and gets her to convince all the other jurors to vote not guilty. So the Pedo Prince is out, fair and square! His next gig? College professor, where he'll be surrounded by a horde of nubile, hot young thotties. Because of course!

In movie 3, suddenly another aspect of Stalk Doctor's personality emerges. He wears a Hawaiian shirt and is always drinking like mai tais or whatever and says shit like "Not cool, dude" when Stalk Doctor does shit like stalk a teen or poison her with fentanyl. No idea why we have a second Stalk Doc that only Stalk Doctor can see and he is an alcoholic for some reason but you know what? Sure! Why the hell not!

Lmao Soph is so Avril Lavigne edgecore punk af in movie 3. I feel bad for laughing at her like her anger is warranted she was kidnapped by a completely deranged super-disgusting old man and literally nothing was done about it like it's not funny at all but please why does she have to have an ~edgy costume just because she was almost raped and murdered like don't make it into a joke :/

me the week b4 my period

?????

There's just like a random musical number in the middle of movie 3? It's Stalk Doc fantasizing about a new "victim" of his who turns out not to really be a victim but sum1 working with Sophie to help take him down but that's a long story and I just don't have the energy to get into that right now

Me when they revealed that Albert's "girlfriend" was actually a childhood friend of Sophie's helping Soph seek revenge on the man that held her captive in his empty mansion and forced-gave her a wash cloth bath on her legs. Um, so...does this mean that Sophie's friend *volunteered* her pussy to Albert just to help Soph seek revenge? I will never love anyone enough for all that! These white bitches are CRAZY! And that's another thing: Movie 3 is my least favorite because it's the only movie that dares to explicitly suggest Stalk Doctor might not be a virgin. Um, I'm not having that lol. We don't actually see him having sex so I'm deciding they just hunched with their jeans on. The old man hymen is still intact!!

This girl asked Albert if it was okay if she used his toothbrush (???) while already using it?? Is this like a white bitch type of activity? The girl had a country accent so maybe it's a cowgirl type of vibe. Anyway, arrest her???

Soph is kinda a freak for this? I'm starting to get into Edgy Sophie idk..

I need sum1 to write an erotic ebook about this...only this time Albert can turn into a wolf, but only if he is aroused <3

Okay Professor Pedo is kinda slaying with the red pajamas and matching red sheets. A diva moment for the ages.

mooooood!

Sophie dying twice in these movies is so funny lol. Also, after this movie we don't hear about Soph again despite the fact I felt we left on things sort of unfinished. Maybe we'll pick back up with her in movie 6. If these movies don't go on forever I'm going to commit an act of violence so serious and shocking it will cancel the news

Why is this guy still at the scene? Prof. Pedo stabbed him with drugs or something shouldn't he be at the hospital recuperating? I think these movies just make shit up.

Wait why am I shipping Stalk Doc and his "good side"? If Stalk Doc ever loses his virginity I hope he loses it to himself on some Predestination type shit. These movies CAN and WILL do some shit like that so don't act like it's too insane!

So Sophie's whole plan was to fake her death (pinning it on Albert I think) and then go on to live her life as a different person in an even more horrendous Party City wig for literally the rest of her days? Um. ok. Also why were she and the country girl giggling about how Soph looked like Elsa like nothing's funny and both of you bitches (cool it with them b words!) are IN-SANE. I guess they both kinda gave Albert a cute little run for his money tho so a little silver lining there for the positive thinker types

Why is a bundle of dynamite just set out casually on the table??

Why did I see this title card and immediately think we were going to get a sort of Nightmare on Elm Street type of vibe with Movie 4? Hmmm maybe worse? Maybe Nightmare on Elm Street 2010? The whole premise is that a woman suffering from a disorder called sexomnia [sleepwalking but make it erotic] seeks treatment for her issue. In comes Stalk Doc who has assumed the identity of a sleep clinic doctor that he presumably murders off-screen? (this is never addressed) and already with this concept you're like uh oh. And then enters the woman's ~college age~ (?) niece who also has a sleepwalking disorder but hers is that when she is sleepwalking she is "suggestible". This movie, out of all the Stalk Doctor movies, gives *the most* porno without porn scenes vibes of all the movies (derogatory)

Me when Stalk Doc puts his old man lips on a beautiful young woman who deserves the world

Please

Okay! Miss Diva! *slumps over in a chair and immediately begins frothing from the mouth, a doctor comes over and diagnoses me with Stalk Doctor Brain Rot. It's Dr. Albert Beck! and he's running his gnarled fingers over my mouth to catch the foam and bring it to his lips to taste*

He think everything a game

Literally cheered like it was Judy Garland when Angela from Sleepaway Camp appeared

This was so funny why did he just hand her his cake? I guess this is showing us that, unless it's a teen to college-aged girl, Stalk Doc just views most women as trash receptacles #problematic

Please he looks like a homeless crackhead pretending to be a doctor so he can steal drugs

Cheap ass sleep study lol

Why does Stalk Doctor tell this nurse/attendant during the sleep study that he can just leave and he does? Um I don't think that's how any of this works lol. It's also really funny the sleep study is being held in what is clearly just a general office building like this is not a medical facility in the slightest lmao

Our man's in love :') Mind you his new victim can only express interest in him while she's asleep. But that's not really an issue because he'll be over her as soon as her teenage niece shows up so it's all good :)

My face when I'm eavesdropping on a conversation between my new prey and her teenage niece and the niece is explicitly talking about how she was literally raped in her sleep by one of her boyfriend's friends :)

"I'm gonna have this girl wrapped around my finger in no time!" *crowd dispersing in terror noises*

A new character is introduced in movie 4 called Nicky Bismar. Let me just go ahead and spoil that this is another aspect of Stalk Doc's personality that has seemingly split from the main core of himself, I guess, and is kind of off to the side as a whole separate entity he can see and converse with? Similar to the other aspect with the Hawaiian shirt, only there's a big difference, because Nicky Bismar, well, his name is an anagram, and it stands for: My Sick Brain. Mkay. Anyway, he represents Stalk Doc's "bad side" that encourages his stalking and molesting of the teens. I think Nicky is killed in this movie? But Stalk Doc keeps molesting and harassing teens in movie 5 so?..

Another scene where Eric Roberts does weird shit in a bathroom <3 I have to endure a lot of molesting and creeping on the teens for these moments, but, I honestly think it's worth it in the end :') (what)

Oh nothing that's just Movie 4's teen victim's gay boyfriend Leo that Stalk Doctor throws down a flight of stairs and stomps to death in the head <3

Stalk Doctor's disgust with Nicky Bismar is so funny like bro that's literally you! (I feel completely insane)

Noooo they got my girl Pamela! ("They" being that elderly virgin demon)

Please every time he pours something it's so funny i don't even know if it's supposed to be

They have another fun Eric Roberts losing it in the bathroom scene where Stalk Doc is just like repeatedly beating his head against the bathroom wall. Almost makes up for all the gross and scary old man kissing teens scenes :)

This meal looks nasty. I'm not surprised Stalk Doc is still a virgin cookin shit up like this. No woman (or teen girl) is taking your virginity for a weak ass little salad and aint eem no dressing on it. Be for real right now!

So these two guys just straight up came to rape a woman? And so that's what this scene is about <3

Honestly, I need this

This guy still works at the asylum? Eventho he tried to rape a patient and they escaped under his watch? I guess it checks out

We're really blowing the budget out for movie 5

I think this is Stalk Doctor spying on a sleeping teenage girl from an attic he is hiding out in. *Girl whose only reference for movies is 1989's Hider in the House voice* Getting real Hider in the House vibes from this one... No, honestly, you have no idea how excited I was thinking this movie was going to genuinely give us Stalk Doctor hiding out in an attic while sneakily trying to integrate himself into the family that moves in. But, it doesn't really. I wish this movie had spent more time with Stalk Doc hiding in the attic and actually living in the house without the family's knowledge but like literally that would just be Hider in the House lol. I guess I just want a Hider in the House remake but it's Eric this time instead of Gary Busey. Crazy how Eric is like so harmless-seeming and feminine next to Busey. I just want a Hider in the House that I can feel more erotic towards, that's all. Wait what's happening? Anyway in this movie Stalk Doc has escaped from the asylum and he ends up impersonating a nurse to stalk his new victim: a dying teen who needs a heart transplant. Um, the storyline in this movie was actually serious, or it felt more serious to me than the other movies, like I actually cared about the teen victim in a real way and it felt less funny that she was like dying and genuinely needed help? I mean, I guess Stalk Doctor does end up helping her, but at what cost to our souls?

The house in this movie actually looks like a real house. It was kind of giving Goosebumps vibes, which I liked. But I was just shocked our setting wasn't an empty McMansion or nondescript office building. I'm also pretty sure in the hospital scenes it's set in a real medical building? This franchise is really on the come up like did we get a few extra dollars or what??

It's so funny how when Stalk Doctor is "hiding" in the attic he's just stomping around like normal. Like not even remotely trying to be sneaky or demure with his footsteps? So ghetto and classless lol

I'm pretty sure this is Eric Roberts' in real life wife? This is just like when Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman star in a movie 2gether, except scary :')

Me

No, like, this is *actually* who I am

UNHAND THE TEENAGE GIRL

Oh god every time Stalk Doctor checks a teenage girl's wound it sends the creepies up and down my spine. Please sir step away from the wound!

The teenage couple in this movie were so cute please I just wanted Stalk Doc to get away from them! The vibe in this movie was very different for me like nothing was funny the ratcatchers at the asylum needed to come and collect him immediately!

Stalk Doctor kills a nurse and I think starts living in her home. He starts using her CPR dummy as a stand-in for his new teenage love and like talking to it about his plans to find and kill someone for their heart so she can get her transplant

????

Mhmm mhmm!

Stalk Doctor finds this woman on a dating app. I forgot how, but he knows her blood type and that it matches his new victim's, so he plans to kill her for her heart lol. We're supposed to think this lady is gross because she's very forward and burps, and that's all before it's revealed she's a cop

Me just vibing out

Pleaz the way she's sitting in the chair like the dummy is so funny

Me going frigid with terror when I have a period cramp

This after he was called crazy lol

????

LMAO!!!

Lol why did I think this was Tony Todd. They don't have the budget for that after they spent all the dubloons on that CPR dummy

Bro's talking about having kids. Nigga, you're EIGHTY!

Please he planned to start cutting into that teenage boy with that rusty ass blade. Which is really funny, but we have to be honest: It's bad doctoring. Like I get he's insane but you still wanna do your best job no matter what. Very disappointed in this lunatic.

RIP to the hot crazy cop. All you wanted was to get railed by a gross old man. You didn't deserve this :(

Stalk Doc escapes by end of Movie 5 and hitches a ride with a trucker. The "good side" persona has returned and is dragging his mans again. He, I think sarcastically, tells Stalk Doc to ask the trucker if he has any teenage daughters which, like, too soon, bro, too soon. I do hope the trucker assaults and murders Stalk Doc in movie 6, or at least tries to, because if he gets killed then no movie 7 and then what am I supposed to do? Watch Joker 2? I'd rather cut open my chest with a rusty scalpel!

[largely irrelevant notes i took that i was too lazy to incorporate into the post]:

"we have 2 operate immediately, otherwise, she. will.die."

-"cuz i kinda threw his phone in the hazardous waste container thing" where's the oscar 4 best screenplay??

-the dad says "occasionally guys cross the line" and "boys will be boys" about his daughter being harassed by an 80 yr old man and says sofie will just have to "learn 2 get used 2 it"???

-soph says of doc that he looks at her like he's a middle skooler that wants her to help him lose his virginity [ding ding ding]

-wife/mom says they should get a restraining order against doc and dad is like "and ruin his career???" be srs

-"scream all u want, nobody can hear u" #romance

-child bride asks him if he's good at fucking and autistic doc says he took a semester of gynecological studies and so he's quite skilled..

-"because ur insane no woman is ever gonna love u" lmao

-"u say nobody wants me? well who's gonna want an armless legless mute like u?" u just made all of that up??

"i figured I'd just keep banging her til i got sick of it..im just kidding! i want to spend the rest of my life with amy" this after stalk doc asks the boyfriend of the teenage girl he's obsessed w/ if their relationship is more a rental situation or is he "looking 2 buy"??

-"if i were ur age i'd definitely sample all the goodies in the grocery store b4 i walked up to the counter and made my purchase" y does he keep referring to teen girls as something u can purchase???

-"who gets up at 3 in the morning and has iced tea" lmaooo

-"now forgive me for asking but have u noticed any sign of blisters or cold sores around ur vagina?" (just normal gross old man pretending to be a doctor talking to a teenage girl conversation vibes)

-creepy stalk doc to a teenager he told had herpes "wut u have is easy 2 live with"

delulu bird mom from movie 2 talking about im not about to kick this amazing man out my life just becuase ur not ready 2 move on meanwhile u were suicidal 2 seconds ago and meanwhile she told u this man was a pervert who made a move on her like a day ago???

-"this coffee went *right* through me!" (me on a date)

-"i just saw him talking 2 a blank computer screen"

-when he tells the prison guards 2 get a glass of water, no ice

-sophie's dad tells her to "let it go" after she was kidnapped by a geriatric and when he was there he tried to wash her legs while she was strapped to his bed?

-sofie mum: "i know it's not right but sometimes bad people they just get away with it" thanks mom

-"im paying 45k a year in tuition, for this?" [mind u it's a cheapass in-person online school]

-country girl refers 2 soph as a "disgusting piece of crap"??

-eric says "4got the olive oil" after setting down plates of like bacon and fruit wut is the olive oil 4? [immediately hit with a bat]

-"and if i didn't obey him he was gonna cut my boobs off or something"/"unbelievable"

-"we researched the internet and learned how 2 make a bomb"

-there's an off-screen character called Dick Rudolph