Secret Love Affair eps 1-14

So I hate k dramas, officially. They are SO ANNOYING. Lol..I swear every one I watch is specifically designed to run my fucking nerves. But is their annoyingness WHY I like them? Um, no. Wait, maybe lol. I think they're mad annoying because they jam like eight seasons worth of bs into like sixteen episodes so every episode you are like......damn, chilllllllll!! Chill out! Lol, like CALM DOWN. 

I feel like...Secret Love Affair, the drama I'm talking about today, absolutely could be like a six season type of series. Maybe. But then I think that I kind of like kdramas for not dragging shit out. I don't know, I just like complaining. But the intensity of dramas and how there is never-ending conflict...kind of feels suffocating to me? Lol which is the most dramatic, embarrassing shit to be saying about a freaking TV series, but it feels like that sometimes. It hella feels like that here with Secret Love Affair. Like, chill out with something happening every. episode. CAN I BREATHE? Smh, let me just get my punk ass together.

Okay so I have two episodes left I think before the series ends and I get to find out if Vice Prez Hyweon and her piano bwoy toy end up happily ever after, doing Korean kissy faces at each other during monthly conjugal visits. So for some reason I'm writing about it...now. 

I have so many complaints about this series, so I will start with what I like: the main romance. Honestly, I will ignore every bad shit about a kdrama as long as I can root for the main romance. Now, this romance involves an ~~older woman~~ and a yunger man. And it's like UHHHHHHHHHHHH she looks like his mom. But I don't care, it's working. Would I care if the genders were reversed? Let's not act like there aren't tons more stories with older man younger woman. And pretty much I always cringe at that set-up lol. But these are Asians, so let's move on!!  

I am 100% forgetting the name of the main male character because I'm racist and like...I get really confused @ the subtitles? Like I don't even fully know if Hyweon's name is Hyweon??? But I saw that name the most in the subtitles. That, and Yeongu or something. And I kept seeing Yeongu and I am like...GIRL, WHO?? I shouldn't be allowed to watch these shows but they are widely available to me so try and stop me sweetie:) Anyway, imma just call the Yung Buck "Piano Bwoy" because I'm a piece of shit, and because he plays piano, and now let's get on with it.

So Hyweon is some repressed older woman (aka "classy") who wasted her youth social climbing so she can enter the rich circles and be abused and disrespected every day of her life for I have no idea why. I honestly don't even know what Hyweon is going for. I guess success? Money? It is not clear, tbh. That fortune teller dude told her husband she will be very successful and puts work before men and I felt like we as the audience were supposed to glean from that who she is as a person, and I guess? She's supposed to be like...just a woman who wants...success, career-wise? But she seems wildly unhappy? But at the same time...like she's really proud of herself and her "work"? Very strange and confusing but a part of me is wondering if this is a ~lost in translation~ sort of thing. Either because this is an Asian thing, or me being a not business-minded person thing. Or both so it's just all getting completely lost on me. Like......Hyweon's life is not admirable at all from where I stand. She admits several times to being a slave for the rich and they are just awful to her but as the series is coming to an end I am getting a feeling that they will all fail and she will come out on top, so I am wondering if this end result is something she saw happening way back in her college years? And just knew she had to put her head down and bide her time? I mean, I guess? But what a fucking risk like how do you know you will get to have an opportunity like this? Though they did keep calling her a fox and implying she was mad sneaky and cunning and shit so she was smart and figured it out. OKAY. Alls I know is she better win and they better fail. That's all I know. 

I was gonna explain the plot but there...it's like mad convoluted. Maybe not, but to me, yes. That was one of my CONS. I swear the first few episodes I had NO IDEA what was going on. Also, it is just me, or is Hyweon's job mad complicated and not clear at all? Like...what does she do again? Lol. Like she runs EVERY ERRAND for these rich people she works for but is also the director (then VP) of some Arts Foundation/School? And then also is helping Yeongu (Seo?) run her LL Bean store or whatever? Lol, like what the fuck? Is this a thing? Why is she doing all of this and what job has like...all of these tasks? She has WAYYYYY too much going on. AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT SHE'S TEACHING PIANO BOI! Like what is going on. No, honestly. How is this one person doing every shit?? 

 

Anyway lol I think the romance between her and piano boy is...cute. It's awkward, tho. Wait. Can we...talk about how horrible she is to him a lot initially, but all the time overall? I was not feeling how much Hyweon was yelling at her bae. Like just going in on this boy like nobody's business. Taking out all your frustrations on bae? That is absolutely something I would do lol but we not talking about me!!! Also, Hyweon is older than PB. Like, two decades older. There's just a nasty feeling when some older person is yelling at some kid and then also fucking them lol, like YIKES! Also a lot in the show she came across as his mom. Also Piano Boy's actual mom literally dies in the show and then Hyweon slides in. Like....are you freaking kidding me? Lol this show is lowkey gross (highkey)...I don't think I should be shipping the main romance lol. Uhhhhhhh I feel like...I mean they have Hyweon feeling embarrassed about loving him, and then they have everyone judging her for fucking him so I feel like the show is like SEE? WE DON'T THINK THIS IS OKAY. But yet it's still happening and we're being made to root for them against everyone else so....

 

Can we talk about...how. Okay so there's some major scandal involving the Main Rich Dude (don't know his name or title). But he's...like every rich dude, doing shady shit. I think his daughter's husband wants a divorce (I have no actual idea). The daughter's husband is supposed to be the lawyer for the family (messy) and I gleaned...he knows they are shady? Idfk. But the divorce opens up this can of worms (I have no idea what or how) and Main Rich Dude goes to prison. He's being accused of...something. It's some big scandal. BUT TELL ME WHY THEY TRYNA MAKE HYWEON GO DOWN FOR IT!!!?!?! Lol WHAT?? This is madness. But Hyweon all in these people's bank accounts (they asked her to be) so it makes sense they are thinking they can throw her under the bus. But how can they really get away with that? I guess because she refused to turn over information when initially "politely" asked? But even if Hyweon took part in helping to do scammy shit, she was just fulfilling orders from her superiors? Like........whet?? AND THEN THEY ARE TRYNA TURN THE SCANDAL OF THE OLD RICH DUDE DOING SCAMMY BUSINESS SHIT INTO IT BEING ABOUT HYWEON FUCKING THAT LITTLE BOY LOL. LIKE WHAT?! Am I missing something?!?!?!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING.  

I don't...get it. This old dude did scams but everyone is focusing on Hyweon slurping up the ramen juices of her lil' Mo-zart? Girl, bye!! This is like if the main focus of the Madoff scandal was his housekeeper's seventeen year old pool cleaner side nigga and then like...the feds trying to make her pay back like 60 billion dollars he stole from a bunch of his friends and Elie Wiesel because she fucked the pool cleaner and he's still in high school and that's a no no, Maria. That sounds dumb because it is...yeeetttttttt that is exactly happening here? I mean, Hyweon is more than your average bitch boy, but like barely. She's a housekeeper who's allowed the passcode to her boss' Wells Fargo account that wasn't even opened by him but he just started getting statements in the mail, so ran with it. Everything that is happening in this show concerning the rich people and their business shit is awful and I wish it was not happening. I hate the old rich dude, his ugly daughter and her suspiciously spacious forehead and what i think is a lacefront ponytail and that insecure, thinking she doing something glorified trophy wife legit getting, I believe?, financial advice from a fucking physic. If she knew how to foretell the future she would've aborted her awful piece of shit daughter before she ever got bornt lol, like miss me! 

So, anyway :) I like the main romance. Lol smh. You know what I REALLY LOVE? I LOVE that this show is about pianists and has mad piano-playing (I could use even more, tbh). I LOVE piano-playing. It gets me hard and wet lol smh I wish I was joking :') And I absolutely adore, and I mean adore...how they like...made the two main characters playing piano like they were fucking and then climaxing as they were playing. I MEAN!!!!! This is the type of shit I go up for. PIANO-RELATED ORGASMS? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????! THIS IS THE TYPE OF SHIT I LIKE!!! I'll prob rewatch this series just for the emotional ass piano playing, and subsequent emotional and inappropriate ass piano-playing related cummings. Like!!!!!! THE PERSON WHO MADE THIS SHOW MADE IT FOR ME! THEY KNOW ME AND THEY LOVE ME! Loljk there are so many fucking bad parts besides the maybe cute but definitely illegal romance and the amazing piano shit.

Can we talk about Minu? Lol I don't like the way he looks and walks and I LOOOOOOOVEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! *screaming* how when he asked Piano Boy if he wanted his number he straight up was like "no". OH MY GOD AND IS IT JUST ME OR DID PIANO BOY intentionally show him up at the party? At his own party?! SMFH!! What was the song they played? Like some variation of twinkle twinkle little star? Minu played his all nice then fuckin uhhhhhh Piano Boy came in like Brahms or near-dead Baethoven or some shit and banged it the motherfuck out FOR NO FUCKING REASON. bitch, disgusting. In the best way!!! Do I like this show or no lol. I hate it but I love it. Please help. But I love so much how Piano Boy was rude to Minu and also he told that rich girl to get out of his sight omfg but awww he is helping that quintet :') <3 He is such a sweet, pure boi I wish I knew his name :') <3   

Aight what else? I don't like Hyweon's husband and he need to gather his punk ass together and figure out why the fuck he alive because it aint clear to me and I know damn sure it aint clear to him. Get it together!! I don't like pretty much everyone. Like, I don't like Piano Boy's friends? Pretty sure the male one is a stripper lol idk but he's a non-factor. The girl one is annoying and she looks like every fucking side-kick secondary character in a kdrama who has to do a little bit of comedy but whose main purpose is to be nosing around in the main characters' business and annoying the shit outta me. Girl, stay in the salon and mindt your bidness. 

I don't like that dean who is scamming her students. You real wild for that lol. But lowkey she's a bad bitch. Lolno jk I don't understand how at this school profs can just drop a student and then they have no classes to go to or purpose if they get dropped. What sort of school is this I am screaming. Who else do I hate? So many. No, not that much. Oh! That secretary? Tryna push up into Hyweon's spot? Lol, girl, YOU'RE BASIC! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PLAY MAHJONG! SIT DOWN FOREVER!! I hate everyone. I lowkey even hate Hyweon. You're weak. Making money your king is not cute. Yeah we live in a blah blah society but that don't mean I gotta care about you being a piece of shit and abusive ass girlfriend and all around general tragic bitch. But so many other characters are wayyyyyy worser than you, so imma root for you but you better gather it together and NOTHING better happen to my bae whose name I either don't remember or never bothered to learn. Also I hope the last two eps have intense piano stuff but I'm scared it's gonna be more drama-focused? Y'all already did enough of that lol have Piano Boy play some crazy shit like the entirety of "The Rite of Spring" and like...no dialogue from the other characters, please. I beg of you.

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Secret Love Affair

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13. Auntie and her boo

I'm too lazy to go on AsianWiki right now to look up these two idiots' names, so I'll just refer to them as Auntie and Boo. 

1. I hated them both. Well, maybe hate is a strong word. They were too insignificant to me to HATE. But I definitely mostly disliked them at all times. Especially that piece of work aunt. First of all, why was she all up in Joo Joong-won's business at all times twenty four hours a day seven days a week?? I seriously thought she had something to do with Joo Joong-won's kidnapping. Like, why the fuck did she care so much that he was hanging with Gong-sil? It was disturbing. I tolerated that shit until she slapped her though. What is with people slapping on these shows? IT'S NOT FUCKING OKAY. Especially when someone has done literally NOTHING TO YOU. I just couldn't with the aunt. She was a fucking bitch. And a baby at fucking, like, sixty thousand years old? YEAH, OKAY. I loved that scene where the two docs told her she was pregnant. The one male doctor couldn't even speak. He just sat there shaking his head in disgust. CAN'T DO IT. I JUST CAN'T! 

And do I even really want to get into the aunt's candy boy ass husband?

Like, I thought he was going to turn out to be really shady but...I guess he wasn't??? I thought he was scheming with the other mall or something. I guess maybe he was just a snitch for Joo Joong-won's daddy? Idfk but he was sort of hot. I didn't want to be attracted to him because his character was super lame. Why was he so tan? Ugh so into it :((

14. The other ghost whisperer who wasn't Gong-sil

Now I'm just fully back to listing shit I disliked. #negativenancylol

Look at this forever alone asshole.  

Mmmm, I don't know why I severely not-liked him. (Possibly because of creepy coma love story????) Really I just hated all that punk ass amnesia shit. 

I HATE AMNESIA SHIT. I hate when even the possibility of a character losing their memory and forgetting everything about their ~love~ is put on the table. I hate that partnered with these amnesia plots is this known fact that it will eventually segue into a plot about the amnesia victim slowly regaining their memory until all the pieces fall back into place and OH WAIT I WAS IN LOVE WITH SOME BITCH I REMEMBER NOW. I hate allllll of that shit. It's like, you've put me through all this extra ass drama just to erase basically everything that happened. I FEEL WHAT GONG-SIL FEELS WHEN JOO JOONG-WON LOSES HIS MEMORY. It's not fair at all to put your audience through that, in my opinion. Like, yes, this is just a TV show and maybe I oughta calm my fucks down BUT NO FUCK YOU SUCK MY DICK.

Actually, it's not even amnesia's fault that Gong-sil is trying to flee to America with Yoo Jin-woo. It's 

^this fucker's fault. 

Get your ran-over ass up. Get up and cross over to heaven or hell or Home Depot or wherever the fuck little kid souls go. Get up and get away from Gong-sil and don't be the cause of Joo Joong-won getting stabbed so she feels all guilty and wants to leave him alone. To be fair, the stabbing was the hit and run driver's fault for being all stabby with shit.

Wow, I hated way more things than I realized. SO MANY THINGS MADE ME ANGRY. Granted, not in a "this is a disaster" I Miss You way, but moreso in a CAN THESE TWO IDIOTS JUST BE DUMB IDIOTS TOGETHER FOREVER AND CAN OBSTACLES STOP GETTING IN THE WAY PLEASE THANK YOUUUUU?!

Summary: I hate obstacles. Dumb ass word. Why is there an o AND a c in the same word? What is this - oscillate?! 

Speaking of o's and c's...(new low?)

15. Coffee Ghost

He was just a cutie pie. That's my whole reason for liking him. 

LOOK AT HIMMMM :3

lol, no seriously if some shit like that was haunting me in real life I'd fucking kill myself. #CAN'T DO IT.

16. Lady Chairman Lee

Things I CAN do?

^this. 

Did I just admit to wanting to fuck Chairman Lee's lady persona? Is this...okay?

What if I quickly talk about how hot his son is? Let me throw in some heteronormative comments real quick as a palate cleanser

*robot voice* Yes, computing as physically attractive. Seventy percent water; thirty percent man meat. *robot jaw opening sounds* Yum. Yum.

The Master's Sun: jnffk,rokrmeke, jcnricmkr,c Part 3

Let's talk about my baby

9. Gong-sil

Yes, JESUS SAVE ME from all this

FUCKING NEVER ENDING GODDAMN CUTIE PIE CUTENESS.

When Gong-sil was first introduced I was confused. "This can't be the love interest," I thought. This awkward ass lunatic with always a little bit manic orange frizz was meant to be the female lead? WHAT? I wasn't prepared to fall totally in love. Like, she was so cute the whole time and I just wanted to die. I found it really hard to believe that Joo Joong-won would spend so much time resisting her. Like I was over it twenty minutes into the first episode. "GIVE IN," I was mildly shouting due to my extremely low-energy nature. 

Maybe I was mildly shouting it before that? Like, as soon as Gong-sil was trying to hitch a ride and Joo Joong-won's car just passed right by her I was like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU HORRIBLE MONSTER?! And then she gets in the car and is so adorable and their hands touch and it's ELECTRIC and Joo Joong-won tries to act like he is disgusted and needs Purell or some shit. I WAS OVER ITTTTTT.

Look at heeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I loved when she hugged him and he was all "YOU'RE FRESH" or he called her horny or some shit. "GIVE IN COMPLETELY YOU DICK NAPKIN," I am still shouting at a medium volume. It's like hurry up and chain this bitch to the water heater in your basement before someone else snaps that up. Like, I don't know, maybbbbbbbbbbbbbbbe...her candy boy???

10. What the fuck is a candy boy/girl??

Kang-woo's sad ass gives Gong-sil a lollipop at some point that Gong-sil pretends to cherish. Joo Joong-won gets all jealous and shit and starts referring to Kang-woo as Gong-sil's "candy boy" for the rest of the series. I feel like candy boy has a meaning. Is it like boy toy? I am trying to think if we have an American phrase for this. Boytoy is like a UK thing. I'm not even perfectly clear what that means. I don't think "candy boy" is just something Joo Joong-won is calling Kang-woo because he gave some bitch a lollipop. That's like...way too literal and unimaginative. 

Also, "candy girl" is a phrase that's bopped around. I think I've heard candy girl used in other kdramas. In one of the other two I watched before this one. I took it to mean "gold digger". Actually, maybe it was just this one I heard it in. Because doesn't Joo Joong-won offer to make Gong-sil his kept bitch and she says something like she doesn't want to be his candy girl? A gold-digger type, right? Or kept woman at least? 

You know, Google is my friend. But I'm not here to make friends. 

11. The Pianist

Speaking of candy boy ;)

...I should really stop doing these horrible segues. Also, this one is about me talking about how hot The Pianist was. WHY would I choose this pic? I'm pretty sure this is right before he is about to slam his fingers beneath the piano's fallboard. I love man-pain. It makes the tiny dying ember admist my mostly dead black heart flicker with boner feelings. 

This dude was named Louis Jang, right? (I'm acting like I didn't just go to AsianWiki). So cute. And the grieving widow thing? AWWWW. Less awwww? How fucking creepy he was. Like, making Gong-sil take over the duties his wife used to do and then being totally fine with his wife inhabiting Gong-sil's body and being all LET'S GO TO FRANCE, WIFE. Psycho. But it only made him hotter to me. That shit is fucking romantic. In, like, a Jeffrey Dahmer preserving his boy heads in the freezer type of way. 

Speaking of romantic in a Jeffrey Dahmer sort of way (sorrrrrrrrry)

12. Ghost Dog and his Lover

Not going to lie, this deserted soldier and ghost dog episode almost made me cry. Almost, as in, it did. 

I felt so bad for the soldier. He was being abused at Army Camp or whatever and his only solace was this fucking dog and some weird pop song they used to dance to together in a totally non-bestiality way.  

Then the dumb ass dog is euthanized and soldier boy no longer has a reason to live. (I mean, who does? But still, I felt bad for him). 

He was all alone and stuff, trying to kill himself and stuff.

Then Joo Joong-won comes over to act like he is The Supreme when we all know it's Gong-sil (and she was totally giving him the side-eye he deserved), and tells Sad Soldier all kinds of cute stuff about his dog and how he's lifting his paw up to him and when the soldier started crying I LOST IT. I was really unprepared to be caring about these ghost stories like this. It made me mad. I wonder if that dude fucked that dog. 

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5. Joo Joong-won's hands/TOUCHING

If I were doing a proper list of all the things I loved about the show...maybbbbbbbeeee this would be number one winner yes yes achievement??

I think I both hated and loved the hands.

They were always in use. He was always flipping them about and around. It was very queen-y. In the beginning of the show he mainly used his hands to do that obnoxious "get lost" thing. I realllllllly wanted to throw up but at the same time I somehow also found this cute? No, it was rude. Like, yes, Gong-sil is a bit of a lunatic but stop acting like you don't totally like her a whole lot and telling her to fuck off. Stop doing that! I'm just really glad So Ji-sub has really lovely hands. (Ugh). I'M SO GLAD THE FINGERNAILS ARE PROPERLY CUT. I hate seeing even a sliver of the white bit of nail. His hands were manicured to perfection. Wow, I feel so gross right now. So gross and so good. 

Look at them here opening a fridge. I'm like 77% sure these are Joo Joong-won's hands. They might be Kang-woo's but maybe not?? Let's pretend they DEFINITELY ARE Joo Joong-won's hands for the purpose of this stupid post.

Look at them here waving at Gong-sil. Ugh I think he's telling her to fuck off here. Whhhhyyyy

Here he is pointing with one of his lovely hands while wearing some sort of pirate ensemble. 

Now I'll segue into the topic of ~touching~ and intimacy. So, Joo Joong-won doesn't like people touching him (uh, who does???), enter some crazy bitch who does pretty much nothing but touching. I wonder if he'll eventually be forced to open his heart up due to all this aggressive sexual harassment from some psycho who can see dead people?? DO YOU ALSO WONDER TOO?! 

ARE YOU STILL WONDERING?!

WHAT ABOUT NOW?! 

Why do I do anything that I do? Sigh. 

My favorite thing is how you thought I was going to go into some whole thing connecting my love for Joo Joong-won's hands with the intimacy issues theme and I didn't at all. I just posted random pics with his hands in them. No, but if I killed myself who would you have left to disappoint you? Oh, your children? Why do you have children? Haven't you heard of this neat thing called fire? It gets rid of *me whispering* ANYTHING. (I think. Some things are un-burnable, right? Like black boxes? I have no idea what black boxes are, but I doubt your kid is one. If they are - what the fuck?) 

Speaking of what the fuck (uggggggggggggggh)

6. Joo Joong-won's "glasses" 

Wanna know why you can't read, dumbass? MAYBE UM I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOUR GLASSES DON'T HAVE LENSES IN THEM???!?

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy?

Why would you do this, show? Why couldn't you just have left the lenses in? Like, okay. Wearing fake frames for style. FINE. Corny as hell, but FINE. 

THE THING ABOUT JOO JOONG WON WEARING FAKE FRAMES is that he only wears them when he's trying to read! It's made clear they're not being used as a style prop. We're being made to believe he wears fucking glasses to read! UH YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT THE LENSES! Fake glasses with lenses cost like ten bucks. Come on, prop department. Or director, at least don't do close-ups so I can tell there aren't any lenses inside the frames??? I don't understand why any of this is what it is. I'm so sad and tired. Maybe it's all the lenses in my glasses frames. They cause cancer - I knew it! 

7. Yi-ryung: The Mall Model

Let's talk about more dumb shit. 

Now, maybe this is a thing in Korea. It might even be a thing in America and I've just never heard of it, but...the closest mall to where I live is decidely unremarkable. Most malls are. Some malls are ~famous~ like The Mall of America. I guess, maybe, that type of mall would do big advertisements and hire a model on contract to star in their advertisements??? I'm really just trying to...make sense out of this whole "mall model" thing. Like, Yi-ryung is acting like she is modeling for a fashion house. Except, no, she's not - IT'S A FUCKING MALL. It doesn't even seem like that extreme of a mall, either. It seems...normal? Like, a normal mall? Whhhyyy would someone as seemingly ~famous~ as Yi-ryung sign on to be the FACE of a goddamn mall? Even a ~prestigious~ one? IT'S A MALL! 

I was just so thoroughly confused by all of this. Like, she's been asked to go to America to audition for some "Peter Jason" film while at the same time doing cheesy JCPenney-esque advertisments for a fucking shopping center? In what world? Oh, in this world. Where ghosts are like a prominent feature and Dooly has a girlfriend. Never mind. Also, Peter Jason. Never miiiiiiiiiiiiind. 

And P.S.

this^. So scary, stop it. 

Better.

8. Creepy Chinese Lady

Speaking of "So scary, stop it." 

                                                                                        What is this^?

I loved how this live person was scarier than any of the ghosts. Also, was this character meant to be a Chinese dig? Like was it the Koreans saying "Chinesers are creepy"? If they were trying to do a diss, they did it wrong, because this bitch was the best. Equal parts horrible and fabulous; she made me want to cry and also work for her so I could cry more. 

What is her entire face? Does the actress really look like that? If so, yessssssssss or OH MY GOD?!