The Intimate Lover (2005)

Um. What was...? This movie was really annoying and I honestly regret watching it. I actually started a bit of it one day and was like "sigh, no" and shut it off and went to watch something less...damaging to my soul. I hate not finishing a movie I start, though. Like so many times I cannot deal, but I always think about the movies I never finish, like they haunt me. Why couldn't I just finish the last horrible forty minutes of Blade Runner, huh? Maybe it got better! I doubt it but maybe! Or that black remix of About Last Night. There's almost NO WAY IN HECK that improved, but tbh, I only gave it like five minutes. Maybe Kevin Hart gets shot in the sixth minute AND I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I DIDN'T FINISH IT! smh

Idk what it was about The Intimate Lover that made me return the next day like *eyeroll* "fine", but I did! And I wish I hadn't :')!!! And so it goes. 

The movie concerns some ugly-souled individuals named "Girl" and "Boy" SIGHKILLME!! The girl is engaged and to be married soon, to, OF COURSE, some nigga she on even like. I am so tired of watching things with people getting married to someone they don't love/lowkey hate. I can't tell if I am just naive about the world or what but like I just want to stop being confused and ask-yelling at my screen why the flip a person would be getting married to someone THEY DO NOT LIKE! I understand sometimes it's like a financial thing or an arranged marriage shit or whatever, but most of the time when I am watching these stories in media, it aint none of that. It's just a boring bitch getting married to some boring dude, just because! Then some sparkly nigga enter the boring bitch's life and all of a sudden she wanna get bold and decide she don't want Arthur, she want Criss Angel Mindfreak. Whatever lol. 

In this mess, Girl is engaged to some like horrible conservative-type dude who was giving me wife-beater teas. You can tell he a demon cuz he wear glasses. Also, he was like, boxy. He was not sexy like "Boy" and his karate body lol. Girl's fiancé looked thick, like he be eatin' noodles all day and shit. Drinking mad soju. Boy's homeless ass aint got the funds to be eating and drinking like that lol, so he perform karate tricks in the park for money, but cuz he live in Asia, aint no one impressed by that shit; errbody do karate, so he don't make no money. But he stay mad fit though. BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT BOY'S LACK OF FUNDS?!

He was homeless, right? lol it was mad awkward. Why did they highlight his money problems? Where were they going with that? Were we supposed to be like "oh, this prob why Girl don't want him, cuz he poor"? But idk, it seemed pretty obvious she didn't want him...because she would like really love him maybe? And now let's unpack that!! Or let's not, because, tbh, I am--I'm sure it's pretty obvious I'm extremely slow. Just not smart, so I have no complete, clear idea why someone would turn down being with someone they could have a really intense love affair with. I mean, I get it. But also not. Like, I don't have the academic explanation for that. Just for me personally I could understand being like "eh, that sounds exhausting, lemme not". But like, isn't it equally exhausting to be with a dude who is mad boring and wears ugly glasses and makes you want to die??? 

And what was that warm water thing? Boy got Girl some warm water at the restaurant and she was all "You messed up by ordering me some warm water, if you hadn't have done that, we could be together" or something akin to that. And I was like "Bitch, que?". What was him getting her warm water - too considerate? Did this ugly bitch just like being disrespected and non-cared for??? BUT LET'S NOT EVEN ACT LIKE BOY WAS A GOOD BOYFRIEND OPTION BECAUSE REMEMBER WHEN HE RAPED HER????? Oh, are we gonna forget about that? Or is that okay cuz this a k drama and that's just what happens? Lol, deleet this whole shit. Start anew. 

Keep this^, tho. Brotherman was fly. The one thing you did right in this movie and it was lowkey prob an accident. He was just some nigga sittin on the steps when you happened to be filming. Make a whole movie about the mistake you made not giving this random street person any lines, or putting up on the screen where we could get his outfit.

Oh My Venus, episodes 13-14

So...I still haven't finished watching this shit and I am so upset. At this point this show is reaching lol. They really dragging out this ~storyline~. One thing I really hate about Korean dramas is all the extra shit they throw into it to beef up what could be a five or six episode mini-series. Or it's like they take a five season show and compact it down to sixteen or so episodes. Either way, there's just this like extreme storytelling going on. I can't even say I love/hate it because I actually just hate it. Oh My Venus has made me really sure about that lol like literally I only care about John and Venus and...no one else. Maybe...Cheekbones. But I obviously don't really care about that nigga if I barely bothered to learn his actual name, so.

So yeah, I don't really care about all the side-stories. I a little bit care about Cheekbones and his momma (when he gon' kill her husband???), but you know what I really don't care about???

1. Venus' friend and her fat son and her estranged husband who hand-delivers child support payments on Christmas like some sort of child-support delivering Santa Claus except he's not Santa Claus he's her ex-husband and he makes everyone call him "Producer" eventho he is essentially South Korea's Billy Bush

2. Bangs and her...whatever. Her sad ass life and her sad ass relationship with Michael Phelps--

3. AND SPEAKING OF MICHAEL PHELPS. Him, being like...an employee at John's company or whatever? I reallllllly don't care about that!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

4. Whom else don't I care about? :')

5. American Accent, Half-Chinese and him trying to join the Navy or Army or who cares because he'd die immediately straight away no matter what???

6. Why is that ~famous commercial actress~ stalking Cheekbones' momma now? I...

7. Fucking...John's stepmom and her sad bullshit and her ugly son and alladat. Oh, she cooks better than John's gramma's...actual cooks? And that's why they miss her? Stop disrespecting this bitch I don't even care about!! Stop making me care about her because you keep shading this bitch to death. I'm tired!! 

I do still care about John and Venus, though. God their cute ass relationship really saves this mess. But you know I'm heated aBOUT JOHN STAYING AWAY FROM VENUS FOR A YEAR SO HE COULD REHAB HIMSELF BACK TO MR. MUSCLE OR WHATEVER. lolWHAT FHEUCK??? Who does that?! If SOME FUCKING NIGGA I WAS DATING GOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT AND REFUSED TO SEE ME FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR SO HE COULD GO TO LEGS THERAPY ALONE AND NEVER LET ME BRING HIM SOUP OR WIPE HIS ASS I WOULD FUCKING MARRY HIS DADDY. That's some bullshit, John is whilin. How he know Venus wouldn't find another nigga? She mad cute, especially now that she aint rockin' that fat suit anymore. But I guess that's the ~point~. It's some sort of gay ass love test or whatever? Bitch, please. John is really trying my nerves refusing to allow Venus to be there for him when he's sick and hurt. Isn't that the point of like love and having a partner: They're there through the good and bad? But look: I have no idea. How does love and like relationships work? email me @ degrassirulez@gmail.com and please tell me. Thank you :(

Anyway, here are some screenshots I took because I am truly alone:

Yo...Cheekbones screaming for John was so.........funny...

I'm sorry :(

But that shit...was hilarious.

But can we talk about how Cheekbones is completely gay for (pay or nay) John? The way he be talking to him and actin' all shy and shit around him? Liiiiiiiiiiiike. I'm not just projecting my gay desires onto these characters, it's really there! Watch it!!!

Why did I cap this? I think...John's guardian angel babysitter dude like...kicked the window in? Wait, what happened? Idk something funny or I wouldn't have screenshot it why am i like this :/

This...got me a little bit. Am I lying when I say I don't care about American Accent, Half-Chinese? Cuz I was getting a little choked up when he showed up at the hospital yikes!! Like John is his daddy. But yo, look: Where this little boy's parents at? Is he an orphan along with Cheekbones? John mad suss for picking up all these little Oliver Twists. Like...what is he doing with them? No, let's be positive! He's rich and gives them a loving home! Let's pretend this happens! 

Why were those dudes just watching them? Also bye @ Cheekbones' slide down the wall. Deleet this show from existence. 

*doesn't know how to feel emotions so just gets mad gassy when stuff happens* *pauses show to go on amazon and look up skidmark cleaners* *realizes nothing is called a "skidmark cleaner" and gets upset that I wasted dignity points searching that up and now the FBI has me on the "special" list, and for what? 4 naught. The skidmarks remain.* *Skidmarks On My Heart should be an album title I think Tyrese should steal this idea* *or Tank* *any nigga from TGT* *only Ginuwine is left* *Elgin Lumpkin, I mean* *oh my g...*

Girl, me!

Bitch, PLEEEEEEEEEASSSSSE!

I am so tired of Bangs she is so ugly and negative and petty and needs to fucking get over some shit that happened in fucking high school. Fucking weirdo. And Venus never even did anything to her! This bitch is delusional! She's mad cuz of two things:

1. Venus set her up on that date with the dude who dragged her and told her she was too fat and ugly to be out in public or whatever. This nigga told Bangs that Venus only set her up because she pitied her. Like, whatever! If she and Venus were so best friends forever wouldn't she know that Venus wasn't even like that? Now, if my friend set me up on some blind date I would feel some type of way about it just because that's some shit I don't like (I don't have any friends). But Bangs seemed excited about being set up and only became upset when the nigga dragged her to hell and fucking back. Bangs should know Venus was only looking out for her best and would never have set her up with that nigga if she knew he was like that, so spare me with holding a grudge over that shit for like fifteen years bitch r u nuts?!?!

2. Bangs had a crush on some radio DJ or something and Venus knew that. Bangs sees Venus getting the digits from the nigga and so for fifteenfuckingyears this bitch is feeling salty that Venus got the diggies from that nigga eventho Venus had a boyfriend and never dated that dude???? Also, if you were feelin' some type of way about it, why you aint address it with Venus instead of holding that shit in forever? Especially because if you would have asked her about it, she would have told you that was simply a business-related conversation, nothing more! I can't deal with Bangs she is so fucking annoying and immature. You're a successful, not fat anymore bitch now, GET YOUR LIFE, HO! GET! YOUR! LIFE!! GATHER IT UP, BITCH!! 

No, don't try to make Tap Tap a thing. Don't even do that.

I hate this show. Also, what is John wearing??

This nigga is knitting...

But anyway, it's really sad John's mom died :( His dad is mad unemotional and he was so alone for so long :((

I was making fun of John crying :/

Random chalkasian speaking jarring English.

Oh...lol. This was when Orange Hair Chef's husband was talking about being at an amusement park or some shit with their fat son and he said he was carrying him on his shoulders and Orange Hair was like "You didn't die?" and this dude said how he almost broke his neck and I'm just dead to the bed at all the fat jokes and fat shaming in this show can't stop won't stop

Me as a grandma.

Me as a boyfriend

Also, Venus getting choked up at his texts. That's so me please ugh. 

Back off Venus' man you dusty, thirsty thot!!

Alladis. Deleet it.

YO DID THEY FUCK?!?!? Talkin bout sum "warm night"!!!!!

BUT I'M DECEASED AT JOHN PULLING AWAY AND THEN THE SHOW JUST CUT OFF!! Or dissolved away. You know how dramatic and all soap operay k drama episode endings be with the twinkling sounds or swelling violins or whatever and then the soft-focus freeze frame of characters' faces I can't wait to start watching a new one sigh please release me

Oh My Venus, episodes 8-12

So I've realized I hate this k drama. Lol, like I want to die. This is like when I was watching Blood...or Nice Guy...or I Miss You???............I've realized I hate basically all k dramas lol like...........they are so bad and awful and make me sad and want to die :) Unfortunately for me, I am trash. And I have a lot of problems. A stable, like, okay sort of person would just not watch something they hate? But me?:) No. Lol. No no. I have to watch, do you understand?! I HAVE TO SUFFER SO I CAN TALK SHIT!!! I'm such a hate-watcher. Such...a troll. However, underneath a bridge is too fancy a home for me. I should live in like...Florida. 

I hate Oh My Venus and I want it to end. I just want everything to...stop. I hate like...all of the characters? Lol no like what's really saving this show are the two leads: Venus and John. Whyyyyyy does my ignorant ass refuse to learn their proper character names, hmm?? It literally says it right there in the description on dramafever!! I think Venus' name is Kang Eun??? And John's name is....Young Joon?? Pleeeeeezzzzz why don't I just go lookWHYAMILIKETHIS?!?!?!

But whatever, VENUS AND JOHN SAVE THE SHOW!:) sweetie:)) 

They are so cute, but...like I'm a little over all this chaste shit, yeah? I mean, this is the least chaste (<.<) k drama I've watched, which sort of makes the chasteness that is there...really glaring and awkward. John's old ass is nearly forty and you're telling me he's cool with just some little pecks on the lips? Yeah, okay. And Venus is tryna throw down!! WhyHAVEN'T THEY FUCKED YET???? This is like the only k drama I've seen where it looks like the characters will COMPLETELY SMASH onscreen?? Or at least they'll allude to it? But it's like...mad awkward that they don't?? Idk, I'm uncomfortable that John and V haven't fucked yet and even more uncomfortable that I'm so, like, eager for them to do so. Like, bitch, chilllllllllllllllll. Cringing @ me. 

But whatevsies, at least I like their romance. I've seen k dramas before where the main romance completely disgusted me and that's a no no. If I'm not rooting for the two main ugly idiots to chaste kiss on the lips @ the end, what are you doing? Looking @ you Nice Guy and I Miss You. So, AT LEAST I love the main romance. But bye @ them having John fucking bleeding from the ears in the last ep I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DO AN AMNESIA STORYLINE I'M FUCKING KILLING EVERYONE!! Don't ever play yourself, Korean dramas. Or maybe I'm playing myself by watching them??? Like, I KNOW there's gonna be some bullshit, so why even put myself through it? idk, i love pain :(

AND OMG AT THEM PUTTING THAT BOY I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT IN A COMA!!! I don't gaf about his mom and I especiallyespecially don't give a flip about her NOT EVEN RELATED TO THE GRAMMA ass son. Smh @ that whole...storyline. Why is that even here? Sigh. Like. Why would this dinky bitch expect the grandma to bestow anything to a grandson who isn't even blood related to her? I'm not even sure why the grandma married her son-in-law off?? So bizarre. Was it because she had no alive kids left?? But she had John............. Maybe something is getting lost in translation because this whole set-up is mad confusing and doesn't make any sense. And I don't understand why that bitch would be waiting on the grandma hand and foot like some damn slave and she not even related to her and there's like ZERO GUARANTEE her son's future would be secured. Like?? What????? 

I am so...tired. Anyway, here's some screencaps because release me from my misery legalize assisted suicide

Muscle Angel pleeeeeez deleet Venus from life. Can we talk about how they keep calling him "Sexy Guy" and all that? Do Koreans not have a word for "thirsty" or?? Like what woman is slobbering all over some nigga like this lol unless they're...a fan of theirs...(<.<). Or maybe it should just be cute that...Venus thinks her man is sexy. But ugh their relationship started because he was training her to be less fat and disgusting? Or cough to help her hypothyroidism? Anyway...

killllll meeeeeee. Can I just say I'm glad there's not MAD DRAMA in their relationship wait lol no spoke too soon because I just remembered John's bleeding ears and possible upcoming bitch ass amnesia storyline bye

idk....i was gettin' my life in these scenes pleez

dj kemie h ee,ow,

GET A CLUE, BITCH!!!

GETCHOR LIFE!!

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!! 

SUCK A DICK, GET A JOB!!!

WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, AND YOUR CAREER!! 

smh ass bitch!!

i want korean emojis like what is that

HELLO I HATE THIS BITCH!!!! SHE IS STALKING CHEEKBONES!! IT'S NOT CUTE!!!!!!!!! SHE HAS SHOWED UP UNANNOUNCED TO PLACES HE'S AT LIKE FIFTEEN DUCKING TIMES THIS ISN'T FUNNY. Now, if he were to karate kick her ass, he'd be wrong, right? I hate this so much because I know this show is tryna link her and Cheekbones and I am so the opposite of here for it. Like I'm really upset it's mad disturbing. Like, they had that man stalker for Venus and it was all ooooh scary but I guess cuz this bitch a chick it's supposed to be endearing at best? BYE!! Cheekbones be lookin' mad frightened, but OKAYYY! 

Whooooo cares? Lol what is all this drama?!?!?! Why is this Anna Sue thing even a thing???? And all this dramatic like hiding out and putting the hoodie on lol whatever

Why was John............trolling around looking for like abandoned orphans and shit???? Hmmm @ John. 

i am...cackling. First of all: cursing!! Lol but it was like...bleeped?? Why even have it? Lol this fake ass ~mature~ k drama. But look: Who was Cheekbones yelling at???? Like, who are you getting loud with? Did John not just save your dusty ass from the brink of death? But um, OKAY.

PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY ORANGE HAIR CHEF LEFT HER FAT ASS SON WITH A STRANGER??? YOU DON'T KNOW THIS HO! THIS IS HOW KIDS GET MOLESTED, YOU GOOFY BITCH! 

omg.

Dead to the goddamn bed at this fat ass boy being unable to climb down off the toilet. That's a big ass boy...come on now. lol 

lol, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

pleeez pleez pleeez!!!!

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS MAD AWKWARD!!! WHEN ORANGE HAIR CHEF ASKED IF HER SON WOULD LOOK AS SEXY AS JOHN AND HE HONESTLY ANSWERED LIKE "I CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES" AND THEN ORANGE HAIR CHEF LOOKED LEGITIMATELY DISAPPOINTED OMG I WANTED TO SCREAM AND DIE FROM SCREAMING

Why did I cap this? Oh, I think Venus was staring like in a lustful daze @ John? Like, pleez.

BYE!!

"WHEN ARE THEY GONNA FUCK?!" -Me, continuously screaming at the top of my lungs while watching

Yeah he looks super in love with his stalker *rolls eyes*

omg is Cheekbones a virgin? Is everyone? That's what k dramas want me to think but there...are a lot of Asians, so...............someone's fucking. Bye I stole that joke, but...there are so many Asians why...are these shows so chaste? It's...aggressively contradictory, and making me uncomfy :')

I have been put to death and am currently being lowered into the ground. Loljk they just tossed my uncovered corpse into a dirt hole. But anywaysies!! I thot the...not blood related grandson was gonna try to come for John but he ended up coming for himself and, for that, I am glad :')

No but like, what's the deal?????? What. is.The?DEAL????!?!!?? *pterodactyl screeching as it burns in a volcano*

What was all this drama with Venus sitting on the steps rubbing her foot? It was mad extra. I knew John was gonna show up but deleet because she just waved bye to him in the car?? Lol anyway. And why did he show up just to immediately leave again? Deleet my brain from remembering anything that happened in this show, thanx.

Why did I cap this? Idk. But I do know I want to be dead. Nah, sigh I gotta keep living. They've never done a live-action Arthur movie, so. Gotta stick around for that :/