So I ignored Stranger Things for a million years because it looked like some cheesy ass Spielberg shit. But like, worse, because clearly the Duff Bros are fans of that type of production. So, like, an imitation of cheese.
And Stranger Things is definitely that. But that's only one part of it and I was being a basic bitch for judging it without watching first. But look, there's so much shit. I can't watch all the shit just to see if it's not shit. I used to just watch everything but that was when there wasn't so much shit. Now, I need to be more selective concerning what I decide to give my energy to. I can't just be watching any old thing. Especially if it's on Netflix, which is basically Lifetime meets Spike now. There's just...so much garbage. But some good things.
Anyway, I'm definitely an ominous mirror creature from The Upside Down.
And I love this show. I don't know why I decided to stop hating and start watching. Oh, I little bit remember. I FINALLY watched IT. Lmao, that movie came out like two years ago smh. But I finally watched it, and I thought it was cute. Was it scary or even good? No, and a little bit. But I loved the little kids (in a mostly non-creepy way) and their little crew and things. So after I watched, I was in the mood for more little kids.
This is weird.
Anyway, cuz Finn was in IT I did an equation and it equaled to watching Stranger Things. To see more little kids.
:(
So, despite everything, I immediately fell in love. I binged all three seasons in like three days. So what did I like?
-Eleven, obvi.
Um, she's adorable, whether she's hairless and homeless or she's hairful and has some weird dad and they live in a creepy, abandoned cabin. WAIT! Okay. So, with the child things I try to ignore STUFF. I'll be like "Ur projecting" to myself, to not feel weird. But on this show they def have Eleven interacting with various older men and I'm like euhhhh... Omg like, Matthew Modine cradling her head in his hands? CRINGE. And like, the whole thing with Fat Rambo as her daddy. Smh, he is too thick for me to be ignoring what is clearly some sort of sexual tension. BUT MAYBE I'M JUST BEING WEIRD. Yes, that's it. And I'm totally going to ignore her final interactions with Billy cuz he, like, always had his shirt off and he had some weird curly mohawk, so, he doesn't count and everything's fine!!
But anyway, I love Eleven and give me more Eleven and like...less scenes with other ppl. No I'm just kidding, because remember in season 2 when she had a whole episode to herself? Really, the show made it weird by having her join up with The fucking Warriors or some shit and go full emo. Also the thing with her mom was like weirdly corny. Though the actress plays comatose pretty gr8, i guess.
There's so much shit smh what else did I like. Wait, imma just talk about all the characters til I get bored and want to die.
So next is!!! Idk..
-Mike?
So Finn Wolfhard, the first thing I see him in is It, and I hated him instantly. His character was so annoying in that omfg. I was all like THIS is the guy?? Then I realized I have no idea what the buzzing around Finn even is, if there is any at all. There prob is. Is he like a dawkier Tim Chalamay??? Calling it. Anyway, Mike is so cute and awkward. Whoa, hold on lol. Anyway, Mike + Eleven forever. I was so annoyed in season 2 when they kept them away from each other so long. Like what do you think I'm here for, Stranger Things? Def not to be playing these types of games, that's for damn sure! What else about Mike? Is he relevant to me outside of his baeship with 11? No!
-Caleb, whose name is not that on the show. Lemme go see wtf his name is smh. Lucas!!
So close! smh. So he's The Black One~. He's a cutie and I have nothing to say about him because he is not one of the young twinks on the show that I stan lol. I was cringing when they was a little bit giving him a storyline and it was a racism one. Then I either stopped caring, or cringed more when I realized it was really more a Billy/Max storyline than a Lucas one... Anyway, here's to maybe more stuff for Lucas to do in season 4...where they will prob focus more on what Joyce and them are doing in the new place and some annoying Russian shit (hopefully not!!). But maybe Lucas will join ISIS or start waxing poetic about Crystal Pepsi or something and he'll get some dope monologues :(
-Will
#willhive, weakly stand up with your frail, spiritually drained bodies. Did I care about William in season 1? No. He was an abstract character, at best. I almost feel like they should have given us a bit more screentime with him in the beginning, then had him sucked up by The Upside Down so we could be like OMG WHERE IS WILL. Like, I def cared more about Barb getting sucked away because we had time to get to know her a bit. We're like Nooo Barb. I think I mostly cared about Will being gone because his fam and friends were going so hard for him, but not because I felt affection for his character. But I guess over time cuz ppl kept yelling for him to come back I started getting into it. Like, Will, cum back.. Don't die in the mirror world shadow realm or whatever (me during s1). When they gave us ~rescued~ Will in season 2, it was a totally different ballgame. The actor, Noah Schnapp, was giving me cute and giving me creepy and it's all I require. He would be zoning out into the upside down having his nightmare experiences all the while looking like a demented lil bird. It was not something I knew I needed until the lil sis gave it to me. Instantly, I was hooked. S3, was a bit of a letdown for me as a Will stan because his only storyline was that he is asexual or some shit and doesn't want to kiss on some bitches, he wants to play dungeons and dragons or some geek shit. :( Did Mike really fix his beak to chirp @ Will that it's not his "fault" that Will doesn't like girls? Sis, chill. Eleven is weird as fuck and you not even gettin' your dick wet. You're doing the absolute damn most for having ONE girlfriend! But that's how these thirsties be acting when they finally get a lil taste. Smh, hang in there Will. Maybe next seaz the show will give you some robot girl to kiss on or something. I stand with you :')
-Dusty
Yikes. So annoying! :")
Lmao, he's okay. But mostly annoying. Omg remember in s2 when he kept doing that growling cuz he got new teeth? Please!!!!! I was dying that all the little twinks (cept freak Will) got a girl but not Miss Dusty lmao. Then s3 he was telling every1 he got a genius Phoebe Cates and everyone was like sure, jan. When they showed Suzy I was sincerely expecting a bitch badder than Phoebe Cates. Lmao, but that's obviously impossible, and what the show gave us was some geek chick even geekier than Dustybuns. The worst shit I have ever seen was when they were singing that song. And ole girl was really tryna give us a vocal on some Glee shit. Suzy's cancelled forever for that. And anyway, endgame longterm otp is CLEARLY Dusty and Erica. It's been established.
But w8. So. Why did s3 start with the kids not even fucking with Dustin lowkey? They were barely checking for him. And the show is trying to give us Dusty/Steve. Dingus Crimefighters or some shit. I mean, I guess??
Who else? lmao
-Joyce
Most good, Roland. I have a soft spot in my heart for Winona? Why? idk. Maybe bcuz she looks like a frail bird. She just has a very bird-like, twitchy energy. Like she's constantly trembling from cold, and nerves. Winona is like female Kinu to me. Her acting might be slightly less bad, but it's similar amount of nostalgia meets "has aged moderately well, considering their whiteness". Kiki barely counts thought for being vaguely Asian. Def cheating. Winona is full chalk, so props. I also like her character, even though sum1 clearly shoulda called CPS on this woman back in season 1... And that's not even me being shady, but both Jonathan and Will look malnourished and like they would do a school shooting so maybe sum1 needs to intervene...
Do I ship her with Fat Rambo? Yes, because the show wants me to.
-Fat Rambo
I'm refusing to know his name. Is it...Kilgor? No..uhhh James? Idk. I am calling him Fat Rambo from now on. I accept him as a character, but him being Eleven's dad is def weird. Any scene with him yelling @ her like a crazy person produces a side-eye from me. But it's really none of my business. I wanted to accept that he died but this corny ass show needs to stop playing games. CLEARLY when you don't show the body the person is still alive!! Tired of these hoes. But I'm alright with it, I guess. Don't know if I need more Russian Baddies. But they're doing their little references, so fine.
-Nancy
So, at first, I was like.....................................WHY do we have scenes with Nancy. Remember b4 they snatched Barb and she was going on her little dates with Steve and it was all cheesy. I wasn't even rolling my eyes I was literally flummoxed like why do we have these scenes with Mike's sister.. Then they snatched Barb and Nancy gets a purpose. Thank god, cuz jesus. Nancy's a bad friend, and Steve is not even cute like that. Like he's cute, but not like that. How do I feel overall about Nance? I was just glad they forced trauma onto her and she got to stop being criminally basic because it was too much cringe for me.
-Jonathan
I remember seeing photos of Charlie Heaton before watching the show and being like what is going on why does he look like that. Because I'm dark sided, and a rude dude. But watching the show, I'm into it. He's giving you, like, Icelandic River Phoenix or something. Also, just looked up the actor and he's an #Aquarius like me so now, for totally superficial reasons, I will stan him. I like his character with pretty much zero reservations. He has a calming sort of vibe, especially compared to all the drama constantly going on, and the fact that he comes from a twitchy, freak family.
But does Stranger Things expect me to gloss over him creepily photographing Nancy undressing in the early days of season 1? Like, bitch, that's weird. You're not just some misunderstood eccentric or whatever. You're a creep, who's possibly engaged in criminal behavior lmao. Like....... And not only that, Jonathan is the LAST person to see Barb alive and NO ONE suspects he murdered her. Of course, he didn't. But like, is this what they call a plothole? Why would no1 suspect him? Is it cuz he's a dwight? I don't think all white ppl get a pass. Jonathan is giving you the vibe of that kid ppl accuse of engaging in satanism lmao like irl he would def be questioned. But suspension of disbelief I guess!!
I do like his baeship with Nancy. They are CUTE. Periodt! And the actors d8 in real life, I think? I know it's like superficial and immature but it's just cute when baes in a thing d8 in real life even though fictional characters have nothing to do with the real life ppl they play :') But chemistry is chemistry and I like when it's there and leave me alone! :(
-Max
Loved Max right away. DID NOT want there to be some terrible love triangle betwixt her, Mike, and El. I h8 a love triangle, it gives me anxiety. They a little bit ran my nerves up by having Eleven creep on Mike and Max ~having a moment~ and I was like, please. I'm glad they dumped Max off on Lucas lmao. They don't even show these two doing kisses, and YOU KNOW Max is fast, because she correctly identified the screaming coming from Billy's room as "happy screams". Ma'am, please. But is it offensive that The Black One gets THIS THOT over sum1 more chaste and respectable? Lmao, I'm totally mostly joking.
But anyway, Sadie Sink, is like, BEYOND adorable. Where do they find these freakin kids? Literally all of them are cute. Even mostly sometimes Dusty.
I'm so tired, please make it stop. Who else?
-Steve
The hair. I guess. He's funny. The show is forcing his relevance for ~comic relief~?
-Billy
Remember when they tried to give us Billy's tragic backstory and no1 cared? Lmao
-Barb
Why did Fat Rambo do the absolute most to resuscitate Will but just glanced at Barb and kept it moving? Lmao. How did they for sure know she was dead? Barb had zero advocates. Fat Rambo and Joyce saw Will, who looked dead, and were like NOT ON MY WATCH. But all Barb gets is frowny face aw so sad okay now let's rescue kid of main character. Does hating ass friend of secondary character not warrant even one CPR chest pump?! Like, damn!
-Paul Reiser
Not his character's name, I don't think. But anyway, he's a zaddy. So I appreciate the show for having this particular zaddy in various episodes.
-Bob
Sean Astin is not as much of a zaddy. Quite zaftig. Looks exactly like Patty Duke. More cutesy, teddy bearish, than zaddyish. Still good. But barely, because like 70% of season 2 I thought it was gonna turn out that Bob was a child molester smh. I guess this is not...that type of show. (sure). When they k*lled Bob I was genuinely like wtf. It was so sad :( Or as sad as a guest-star, non main character's death can be :( Which is barely, but achieving even bare minimum concern from your audience for a character who barely matters is still an achievement!
Who else? I'm tired
Suggestions for the Duff Bros for future seasons:
-More Erica
-More of black hospital attendant person with attitude
-More black people with attitudes. It's not offensive it is much needed to even out the oft times overly schmaltzy, cheesy bs
-Don't make the lesbian fall in love with Steve that's not how lesbianism works. Unless you guys are going for a Bi Lives Matter story, then I feel very sorry for you. But yes, please do it.
-Stop secretly trying to mkultra us with strobe lights!!!!
-Less hand-holding, but at the same time more. I know you know what I mean.
-Eleven gets cornrolls
-Give Mike's mom and his little sister more lines.
-I'm totally joking about that last one lmao please stop :')
And Stranger Things is definitely that. But that's only one part of it and I was being a basic bitch for judging it without watching first. But look, there's so much shit. I can't watch all the shit just to see if it's not shit. I used to just watch everything but that was when there wasn't so much shit. Now, I need to be more selective concerning what I decide to give my energy to. I can't just be watching any old thing. Especially if it's on Netflix, which is basically Lifetime meets Spike now. There's just...so much garbage. But some good things.
Anyway, I'm definitely an ominous mirror creature from The Upside Down.
And I love this show. I don't know why I decided to stop hating and start watching. Oh, I little bit remember. I FINALLY watched IT. Lmao, that movie came out like two years ago smh. But I finally watched it, and I thought it was cute. Was it scary or even good? No, and a little bit. But I loved the little kids (in a mostly non-creepy way) and their little crew and things. So after I watched, I was in the mood for more little kids.
This is weird.
Anyway, cuz Finn was in IT I did an equation and it equaled to watching Stranger Things. To see more little kids.
:(
So, despite everything, I immediately fell in love. I binged all three seasons in like three days. So what did I like?
-Eleven, obvi.
Um, she's adorable, whether she's hairless and homeless or she's hairful and has some weird dad and they live in a creepy, abandoned cabin. WAIT! Okay. So, with the child things I try to ignore STUFF. I'll be like "Ur projecting" to myself, to not feel weird. But on this show they def have Eleven interacting with various older men and I'm like euhhhh... Omg like, Matthew Modine cradling her head in his hands? CRINGE. And like, the whole thing with Fat Rambo as her daddy. Smh, he is too thick for me to be ignoring what is clearly some sort of sexual tension. BUT MAYBE I'M JUST BEING WEIRD. Yes, that's it. And I'm totally going to ignore her final interactions with Billy cuz he, like, always had his shirt off and he had some weird curly mohawk, so, he doesn't count and everything's fine!!
But anyway, I love Eleven and give me more Eleven and like...less scenes with other ppl. No I'm just kidding, because remember in season 2 when she had a whole episode to herself? Really, the show made it weird by having her join up with The fucking Warriors or some shit and go full emo. Also the thing with her mom was like weirdly corny. Though the actress plays comatose pretty gr8, i guess.
There's so much shit smh what else did I like. Wait, imma just talk about all the characters til I get bored and want to die.
So next is!!! Idk..
-Mike?
So Finn Wolfhard, the first thing I see him in is It, and I hated him instantly. His character was so annoying in that omfg. I was all like THIS is the guy?? Then I realized I have no idea what the buzzing around Finn even is, if there is any at all. There prob is. Is he like a dawkier Tim Chalamay??? Calling it. Anyway, Mike is so cute and awkward. Whoa, hold on lol. Anyway, Mike + Eleven forever. I was so annoyed in season 2 when they kept them away from each other so long. Like what do you think I'm here for, Stranger Things? Def not to be playing these types of games, that's for damn sure! What else about Mike? Is he relevant to me outside of his baeship with 11? No!
-Caleb, whose name is not that on the show. Lemme go see wtf his name is smh. Lucas!!
So close! smh. So he's The Black One~. He's a cutie and I have nothing to say about him because he is not one of the young twinks on the show that I stan lol. I was cringing when they was a little bit giving him a storyline and it was a racism one. Then I either stopped caring, or cringed more when I realized it was really more a Billy/Max storyline than a Lucas one... Anyway, here's to maybe more stuff for Lucas to do in season 4...where they will prob focus more on what Joyce and them are doing in the new place and some annoying Russian shit (hopefully not!!). But maybe Lucas will join ISIS or start waxing poetic about Crystal Pepsi or something and he'll get some dope monologues :(
-Will
#willhive, weakly stand up with your frail, spiritually drained bodies. Did I care about William in season 1? No. He was an abstract character, at best. I almost feel like they should have given us a bit more screentime with him in the beginning, then had him sucked up by The Upside Down so we could be like OMG WHERE IS WILL. Like, I def cared more about Barb getting sucked away because we had time to get to know her a bit. We're like Nooo Barb. I think I mostly cared about Will being gone because his fam and friends were going so hard for him, but not because I felt affection for his character. But I guess over time cuz ppl kept yelling for him to come back I started getting into it. Like, Will, cum back.. Don't die in the mirror world shadow realm or whatever (me during s1). When they gave us ~rescued~ Will in season 2, it was a totally different ballgame. The actor, Noah Schnapp, was giving me cute and giving me creepy and it's all I require. He would be zoning out into the upside down having his nightmare experiences all the while looking like a demented lil bird. It was not something I knew I needed until the lil sis gave it to me. Instantly, I was hooked. S3, was a bit of a letdown for me as a Will stan because his only storyline was that he is asexual or some shit and doesn't want to kiss on some bitches, he wants to play dungeons and dragons or some geek shit. :( Did Mike really fix his beak to chirp @ Will that it's not his "fault" that Will doesn't like girls? Sis, chill. Eleven is weird as fuck and you not even gettin' your dick wet. You're doing the absolute damn most for having ONE girlfriend! But that's how these thirsties be acting when they finally get a lil taste. Smh, hang in there Will. Maybe next seaz the show will give you some robot girl to kiss on or something. I stand with you :')
-Dusty
Yikes. So annoying! :")
Lmao, he's okay. But mostly annoying. Omg remember in s2 when he kept doing that growling cuz he got new teeth? Please!!!!! I was dying that all the little twinks (cept freak Will) got a girl but not Miss Dusty lmao. Then s3 he was telling every1 he got a genius Phoebe Cates and everyone was like sure, jan. When they showed Suzy I was sincerely expecting a bitch badder than Phoebe Cates. Lmao, but that's obviously impossible, and what the show gave us was some geek chick even geekier than Dustybuns. The worst shit I have ever seen was when they were singing that song. And ole girl was really tryna give us a vocal on some Glee shit. Suzy's cancelled forever for that. And anyway, endgame longterm otp is CLEARLY Dusty and Erica. It's been established.
But w8. So. Why did s3 start with the kids not even fucking with Dustin lowkey? They were barely checking for him. And the show is trying to give us Dusty/Steve. Dingus Crimefighters or some shit. I mean, I guess??
Who else? lmao
-Joyce
Most good, Roland. I have a soft spot in my heart for Winona? Why? idk. Maybe bcuz she looks like a frail bird. She just has a very bird-like, twitchy energy. Like she's constantly trembling from cold, and nerves. Winona is like female Kinu to me. Her acting might be slightly less bad, but it's similar amount of nostalgia meets "has aged moderately well, considering their whiteness". Kiki barely counts thought for being vaguely Asian. Def cheating. Winona is full chalk, so props. I also like her character, even though sum1 clearly shoulda called CPS on this woman back in season 1... And that's not even me being shady, but both Jonathan and Will look malnourished and like they would do a school shooting so maybe sum1 needs to intervene...
Do I ship her with Fat Rambo? Yes, because the show wants me to.
-Fat Rambo
I'm refusing to know his name. Is it...Kilgor? No..uhhh James? Idk. I am calling him Fat Rambo from now on. I accept him as a character, but him being Eleven's dad is def weird. Any scene with him yelling @ her like a crazy person produces a side-eye from me. But it's really none of my business. I wanted to accept that he died but this corny ass show needs to stop playing games. CLEARLY when you don't show the body the person is still alive!! Tired of these hoes. But I'm alright with it, I guess. Don't know if I need more Russian Baddies. But they're doing their little references, so fine.
-Nancy
So, at first, I was like.....................................WHY do we have scenes with Nancy. Remember b4 they snatched Barb and she was going on her little dates with Steve and it was all cheesy. I wasn't even rolling my eyes I was literally flummoxed like why do we have these scenes with Mike's sister.. Then they snatched Barb and Nancy gets a purpose. Thank god, cuz jesus. Nancy's a bad friend, and Steve is not even cute like that. Like he's cute, but not like that. How do I feel overall about Nance? I was just glad they forced trauma onto her and she got to stop being criminally basic because it was too much cringe for me.
-Jonathan
I remember seeing photos of Charlie Heaton before watching the show and being like what is going on why does he look like that. Because I'm dark sided, and a rude dude. But watching the show, I'm into it. He's giving you, like, Icelandic River Phoenix or something. Also, just looked up the actor and he's an #Aquarius like me so now, for totally superficial reasons, I will stan him. I like his character with pretty much zero reservations. He has a calming sort of vibe, especially compared to all the drama constantly going on, and the fact that he comes from a twitchy, freak family.
But does Stranger Things expect me to gloss over him creepily photographing Nancy undressing in the early days of season 1? Like, bitch, that's weird. You're not just some misunderstood eccentric or whatever. You're a creep, who's possibly engaged in criminal behavior lmao. Like....... And not only that, Jonathan is the LAST person to see Barb alive and NO ONE suspects he murdered her. Of course, he didn't. But like, is this what they call a plothole? Why would no1 suspect him? Is it cuz he's a dwight? I don't think all white ppl get a pass. Jonathan is giving you the vibe of that kid ppl accuse of engaging in satanism lmao like irl he would def be questioned. But suspension of disbelief I guess!!
I do like his baeship with Nancy. They are CUTE. Periodt! And the actors d8 in real life, I think? I know it's like superficial and immature but it's just cute when baes in a thing d8 in real life even though fictional characters have nothing to do with the real life ppl they play :') But chemistry is chemistry and I like when it's there and leave me alone! :(
-Max
Loved Max right away. DID NOT want there to be some terrible love triangle betwixt her, Mike, and El. I h8 a love triangle, it gives me anxiety. They a little bit ran my nerves up by having Eleven creep on Mike and Max ~having a moment~ and I was like, please. I'm glad they dumped Max off on Lucas lmao. They don't even show these two doing kisses, and YOU KNOW Max is fast, because she correctly identified the screaming coming from Billy's room as "happy screams". Ma'am, please. But is it offensive that The Black One gets THIS THOT over sum1 more chaste and respectable? Lmao, I'm totally mostly joking.
But anyway, Sadie Sink, is like, BEYOND adorable. Where do they find these freakin kids? Literally all of them are cute. Even mostly sometimes Dusty.
I'm so tired, please make it stop. Who else?
-Steve
The hair. I guess. He's funny. The show is forcing his relevance for ~comic relief~?
-Billy
Remember when they tried to give us Billy's tragic backstory and no1 cared? Lmao
-Barb
Why did Fat Rambo do the absolute most to resuscitate Will but just glanced at Barb and kept it moving? Lmao. How did they for sure know she was dead? Barb had zero advocates. Fat Rambo and Joyce saw Will, who looked dead, and were like NOT ON MY WATCH. But all Barb gets is frowny face aw so sad okay now let's rescue kid of main character. Does hating ass friend of secondary character not warrant even one CPR chest pump?! Like, damn!
-Paul Reiser
Not his character's name, I don't think. But anyway, he's a zaddy. So I appreciate the show for having this particular zaddy in various episodes.
-Bob
Sean Astin is not as much of a zaddy. Quite zaftig. Looks exactly like Patty Duke. More cutesy, teddy bearish, than zaddyish. Still good. But barely, because like 70% of season 2 I thought it was gonna turn out that Bob was a child molester smh. I guess this is not...that type of show. (sure). When they k*lled Bob I was genuinely like wtf. It was so sad :( Or as sad as a guest-star, non main character's death can be :( Which is barely, but achieving even bare minimum concern from your audience for a character who barely matters is still an achievement!
Who else? I'm tired
Suggestions for the Duff Bros for future seasons:
-More Erica
-More of black hospital attendant person with attitude
-More black people with attitudes. It's not offensive it is much needed to even out the oft times overly schmaltzy, cheesy bs
-Don't make the lesbian fall in love with Steve that's not how lesbianism works. Unless you guys are going for a Bi Lives Matter story, then I feel very sorry for you. But yes, please do it.
-Stop secretly trying to mkultra us with strobe lights!!!!
-Less hand-holding, but at the same time more. I know you know what I mean.
-Eleven gets cornrolls
-Give Mike's mom and his little sister more lines.
-I'm totally joking about that last one lmao please stop :')
