Oh My Venus, episodes 8-12

So I've realized I hate this k drama. Lol, like I want to die. This is like when I was watching Blood...or Nice Guy...or I Miss You???............I've realized I hate basically all k dramas lol like...........they are so bad and awful and make me sad and want to die :) Unfortunately for me, I am trash. And I have a lot of problems. A stable, like, okay sort of person would just not watch something they hate? But me?:) No. Lol. No no. I have to watch, do you understand?! I HAVE TO SUFFER SO I CAN TALK SHIT!!! I'm such a hate-watcher. Such...a troll. However, underneath a bridge is too fancy a home for me. I should live in like...Florida. 

I hate Oh My Venus and I want it to end. I just want everything to...stop. I hate like...all of the characters? Lol no like what's really saving this show are the two leads: Venus and John. Whyyyyyy does my ignorant ass refuse to learn their proper character names, hmm?? It literally says it right there in the description on dramafever!! I think Venus' name is Kang Eun??? And John's name is....Young Joon?? Pleeeeeezzzzz why don't I just go lookWHYAMILIKETHIS?!?!?!

But whatever, VENUS AND JOHN SAVE THE SHOW!:) sweetie:)) 

They are so cute, but...like I'm a little over all this chaste shit, yeah? I mean, this is the least chaste (<.<) k drama I've watched, which sort of makes the chasteness that is there...really glaring and awkward. John's old ass is nearly forty and you're telling me he's cool with just some little pecks on the lips? Yeah, okay. And Venus is tryna throw down!! WhyHAVEN'T THEY FUCKED YET???? This is like the only k drama I've seen where it looks like the characters will COMPLETELY SMASH onscreen?? Or at least they'll allude to it? But it's like...mad awkward that they don't?? Idk, I'm uncomfortable that John and V haven't fucked yet and even more uncomfortable that I'm so, like, eager for them to do so. Like, bitch, chilllllllllllllllll. Cringing @ me. 

But whatevsies, at least I like their romance. I've seen k dramas before where the main romance completely disgusted me and that's a no no. If I'm not rooting for the two main ugly idiots to chaste kiss on the lips @ the end, what are you doing? Looking @ you Nice Guy and I Miss You. So, AT LEAST I love the main romance. But bye @ them having John fucking bleeding from the ears in the last ep I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DO AN AMNESIA STORYLINE I'M FUCKING KILLING EVERYONE!! Don't ever play yourself, Korean dramas. Or maybe I'm playing myself by watching them??? Like, I KNOW there's gonna be some bullshit, so why even put myself through it? idk, i love pain :(

AND OMG AT THEM PUTTING THAT BOY I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT IN A COMA!!! I don't gaf about his mom and I especiallyespecially don't give a flip about her NOT EVEN RELATED TO THE GRAMMA ass son. Smh @ that whole...storyline. Why is that even here? Sigh. Like. Why would this dinky bitch expect the grandma to bestow anything to a grandson who isn't even blood related to her? I'm not even sure why the grandma married her son-in-law off?? So bizarre. Was it because she had no alive kids left?? But she had John............. Maybe something is getting lost in translation because this whole set-up is mad confusing and doesn't make any sense. And I don't understand why that bitch would be waiting on the grandma hand and foot like some damn slave and she not even related to her and there's like ZERO GUARANTEE her son's future would be secured. Like?? What????? 

I am so...tired. Anyway, here's some screencaps because release me from my misery legalize assisted suicide

Muscle Angel pleeeeeez deleet Venus from life. Can we talk about how they keep calling him "Sexy Guy" and all that? Do Koreans not have a word for "thirsty" or?? Like what woman is slobbering all over some nigga like this lol unless they're...a fan of theirs...(<.<). Or maybe it should just be cute that...Venus thinks her man is sexy. But ugh their relationship started because he was training her to be less fat and disgusting? Or cough to help her hypothyroidism? Anyway...

killllll meeeeeee. Can I just say I'm glad there's not MAD DRAMA in their relationship wait lol no spoke too soon because I just remembered John's bleeding ears and possible upcoming bitch ass amnesia storyline bye

idk....i was gettin' my life in these scenes pleez

dj kemie h ee,ow,

GET A CLUE, BITCH!!!

GETCHOR LIFE!!

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!! 

SUCK A DICK, GET A JOB!!!

WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, AND YOUR CAREER!! 

smh ass bitch!!

i want korean emojis like what is that

HELLO I HATE THIS BITCH!!!! SHE IS STALKING CHEEKBONES!! IT'S NOT CUTE!!!!!!!!! SHE HAS SHOWED UP UNANNOUNCED TO PLACES HE'S AT LIKE FIFTEEN DUCKING TIMES THIS ISN'T FUNNY. Now, if he were to karate kick her ass, he'd be wrong, right? I hate this so much because I know this show is tryna link her and Cheekbones and I am so the opposite of here for it. Like I'm really upset it's mad disturbing. Like, they had that man stalker for Venus and it was all ooooh scary but I guess cuz this bitch a chick it's supposed to be endearing at best? BYE!! Cheekbones be lookin' mad frightened, but OKAYYY! 

Whooooo cares? Lol what is all this drama?!?!?! Why is this Anna Sue thing even a thing???? And all this dramatic like hiding out and putting the hoodie on lol whatever

Why was John............trolling around looking for like abandoned orphans and shit???? Hmmm @ John. 

i am...cackling. First of all: cursing!! Lol but it was like...bleeped?? Why even have it? Lol this fake ass ~mature~ k drama. But look: Who was Cheekbones yelling at???? Like, who are you getting loud with? Did John not just save your dusty ass from the brink of death? But um, OKAY.

PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY ORANGE HAIR CHEF LEFT HER FAT ASS SON WITH A STRANGER??? YOU DON'T KNOW THIS HO! THIS IS HOW KIDS GET MOLESTED, YOU GOOFY BITCH! 

omg.

Dead to the goddamn bed at this fat ass boy being unable to climb down off the toilet. That's a big ass boy...come on now. lol 

lol, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

pleeez pleez pleeez!!!!

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS MAD AWKWARD!!! WHEN ORANGE HAIR CHEF ASKED IF HER SON WOULD LOOK AS SEXY AS JOHN AND HE HONESTLY ANSWERED LIKE "I CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES" AND THEN ORANGE HAIR CHEF LOOKED LEGITIMATELY DISAPPOINTED OMG I WANTED TO SCREAM AND DIE FROM SCREAMING

Why did I cap this? Oh, I think Venus was staring like in a lustful daze @ John? Like, pleez.

BYE!!

"WHEN ARE THEY GONNA FUCK?!" -Me, continuously screaming at the top of my lungs while watching

Yeah he looks super in love with his stalker *rolls eyes*

omg is Cheekbones a virgin? Is everyone? That's what k dramas want me to think but there...are a lot of Asians, so...............someone's fucking. Bye I stole that joke, but...there are so many Asians why...are these shows so chaste? It's...aggressively contradictory, and making me uncomfy :')

I have been put to death and am currently being lowered into the ground. Loljk they just tossed my uncovered corpse into a dirt hole. But anywaysies!! I thot the...not blood related grandson was gonna try to come for John but he ended up coming for himself and, for that, I am glad :')

No but like, what's the deal?????? What. is.The?DEAL????!?!!?? *pterodactyl screeching as it burns in a volcano*

What was all this drama with Venus sitting on the steps rubbing her foot? It was mad extra. I knew John was gonna show up but deleet because she just waved bye to him in the car?? Lol anyway. And why did he show up just to immediately leave again? Deleet my brain from remembering anything that happened in this show, thanx.

Why did I cap this? Idk. But I do know I want to be dead. Nah, sigh I gotta keep living. They've never done a live-action Arthur movie, so. Gotta stick around for that :/

Nightcrawler (2014)

Explain...why my bae Jake Gyllyhaal was not nominated for an Oscar for this shit? You don't HONESTLY expect me to believe my ghey bae doesn't suck every dick he can suction his lips around in Hollywood, right? Or am I totally reading Maggie's brother wrong? Does he have morals and convictions? Lol nah, that can't be, he once upon a time starred in pap shots with Taylor Swift. There's no way--But, wait. Maybe he actually liked Taylor. Lol because why would he think starring in posed pap shots with that crazy binch would advance his career? Ew omg did Jake actually like her? That's even worse than if it were just a bearding sitch. I would respect Jake more if he was fake and just using Taylor to convince people of his ultimate straightness, just as Joe Jonas and that wolf stud from Twilight TRIED IT before him. Lol bye.

What was I doing? Oh, it's clear Jake is just like a terrible person. He dated Reese Witherspoon for like...a really long time. No one who dates Reese Witherspoon for a significant period of time is not not a piece of shit, you know? So I guess this explains why Jakey was not nominated for an Oscar for portraying Lou Bloom in Nightcrawler. He's human garbage and everyone in Hollywood knows it. And not "eh...idk.." iffy-type human garbage like a molester (Woody Allen) or a rapist (Polanski) or a molester and a rapist (Kirk Douglas), he's true human garbage in like...maybe he chews with his mouth open? I can see Jake doing some monstrous shit like that, and I can see Harvey Weinstein's fat ass looking across the table at him with disgust and deciding he will never let Jake wear some ugly ass Marchesa dress to stand by his side as his date to the NAACP awards or whatever. No, I can definitely see it. 

It sucks that the major awards are so...popularity based. The decision process is like "Best Actor, okay. Whom do I LIKE the most? Tom Hanks. I like Tom Hanks the most. Or maybe Matt Damon. He stays away enough and isn't overly Boston about it. His head is regular-sized. I like Matt Damon!" Please. Jake is too bug-eyed and a weirdo to be Tom Hanks-liked. He's also not dynamic enough to transcend people not liking him like Denzel, or a little bit Tom Hardy. I feel like everyone hates Tom except for Leo, which is cute but has me worried for Tommy. What happens if he loses Leo as his bennyfact? He gets a lil too serious during a rough-housing session one day. What then? Season three of Peaky Blinders? Sigh, I hope so :/

All these horrible unnecessary words are to say: Jake shoulda been nominated for FUCKING THE BEST ACTOR OSCAR. He could've taken Keaton's slot, tbh. Keaton is likeable, but he aint slayin these hoes! Michael Keaton has never slayed a ho in his whole entire life. And this is coming from a half-assed fan of his okay! Jake slays hoes. Hello, did anyone see Prisoners?? He did that!! I'm heated he aint get no respect for that, but Jake just shrugged and was like, Okay let me rev it up for the next shit. And he EXTRA DID THAT in Nightcrawler. I have never seen a more did that performance, I don't think? No I'm lying Jake aint no Tommy or DDL, but he's competing! Michael Keaton is not competing. Lol wait he aint even win the acting award. Who did that year? Eddie Redmayne (bye @ his name). I like Eddie but he aint no Ben Whishaw. Why does Eddie have an Oscar over...Ben Whishaw? Why does he have an Oscar over Tom Hardy?? Lol wait what am I doing I was talking about Jake. Jake is closer to being on Whishaw's level than Eddie's. Disclosure: I aint see that Hawking movie. It look dry af. BUT THERE IS NO WAY EDDIE DID THAT MORE THAN JAKE. I don't wanna hear it!! 

At the end of the day, these are all white niggas and I don't need to be expending my energy doing all this WHERE IS THEIR ACKNOWLEDGMENT!! GIVE THESE RICH WHITEYS TROPHIES BEFORE THEIR FEELINGS GET HURT :(!!! 

I don't need to be doing all of that. However, it's hard to see...what I personally consider to be really talented individuals get respect and praise over people I feel are inferior to them. And I wanna act like my opinion is subjective, I want to chill, but...1. it's not and 2. i can't. I'm right, you're wrong. Jake been quietly slayin' the game for a minute now and it's time these niggas start puttin' respeck on his name. I'm getting tired. Like, if you as a white nigga can't get acknowledgment and praise...you're lost. You have nothing. What's the point of being a typical "straight" white male if niggas gon' continually pay you dust? You at the top of the food chain but you still don't matter - the fuck? Jake must be secretly gypsy or something, there has GOT to be an explanation. 

My fave thing about me is I spent literally zero words discussing this fucking movie smh. Anyway, 8/10 would recommend. 

Girlhood (2014)

I liked this. I liked that it was about 1. black girls, and then 2. like chavvy French black girls. I don't know fucking shit about the black experience in France. I've seen some examples of the black males in movies, but very few. Black women and girls? Zero. None. Absolutely none, so this was like refreshing and nice, just to see their faces. 

Now!! Am I feeling some type of way that this was directed by a whitey???? Hmmm. It's like, on the one hand: Thanks............... But on the other hand.........It just had me personally wondering what a white woman knows about the experience of young black women, you know? Obviously someone who's like a great artist can put themselves in others' shoes, and it's certainly not against the law to portray an experience wildly different from yours, as that is all storytelling is, but...we can't pretend it's not superrrr loaded for a white person to attempt to tell a black person's story. Also I'm wondering if...there are like...even black women directors in France. You know? Which yikes. There might be so many tho I have no idea. Google and I are not on speaking terms. I don't like how right in the middle of its name are just boobs? Like okay?? Obscenity just to provoke? That's like, so 2010. 

So, anyway, I should be murdered. At the very least, I should have this blog taken away from me. That's not gonna happen though because no one cares. No one reads this shit. Well, actually, sometimes (three total times) people comment and say they do read this shit (keirdulleagonetomorrow.blogspot.com) and I just be staring at my screen like..."But why...? Why would you do this to yourself?" And it's not even low self-esteem. It's just like...being realistic, and frightened for other people because I am so aware, and they just are so obviously not, you know? I'm just worried, that's all :/

What was I doing? Idk, real quick I just zoned out for like five minutes straight. I entirely lost those five minutes. I think I have dissociative personality disorder? I definitely have a disorder. I am disordered. Please help me. 

So anyway! I really loved Vic, played by Karidja Touré. She's soooooooo pretty and I was just living. 

She's like mad cute and just giving me stunning teas as well? I'm annoyed to know she auditioned to play Storm in the upcoming X-Men movie but they gave it to that goofy bitch who played Aaliyah in a fucking Lifetime movie instead? Lol, woww. Like Hollywood is...embarrassing. But I am too for sitting up here acting like I give af about fucking X-Men. That shit is whaaccckkk! Karidja can go and get her a better, less cringe-worthy role in a movie. I get that it's good exposure or whatever, but can...but can movies that have ~good exposure~ roles for up and coming talent...be LESS FUCKING STUPID??? Like why do I have to see these dumb ass comic book movies and root for my fledgling faves in them? This shit has me heated these movies are fucking trash!! Lol please!! Ugh.

I also really loved Lady. She reminded me of a few different black girls I knew growing up. Like the mean, sort of rough, but pretty black girls. I'd be like scared of them and resentful of their intimidating demeanor because I had none, but I also wanted to fuck with them because they were pretty and cool. Dynamic, you know? So her character really took me back to my youth ugh kill me. Also...the like...fights? With two bitches scheduling to tear each other's asses up and everyone is all excited like Fight after school! Fight at the playground!! I have...sigh, definitely been a part of a few of those crowds. I have seen my fair share of casual acquaintances get their ass beat at a scheduled meeting place. That shit hurt when Lady lost her fight. But why would Vic think--Wait, no, Lady ultimately liked that Vic beat that chick's ass for her, right? Okay but in real life her friend would've been salty af and then ended up beating her ass. Prob woulda lost tho lol

So I was annoyed with the fucboi Vic was lusting after. It was all "I'm your brother's friend" when she had the cornrows, but then she got the weave and he all of a sudden wanted to tear the cheeks apart?? 

Bye!!!! Also what...what was the storyline? Lol...like. First of all, what was the deal with the bro? His character seemed familiar but at the same time I couldn't peg him completely. I guess he took over the role as man of the house? But he was doing three much for me. But at the same time that character was completely recognizable, however, there was this weirdness like...why was the relationship between him and Vic lowkey sexual?? Was I buggin? Prob, I'm always thinking something is sexual. Sigh, get a man, bitch!! 

Okay and then...what was this with Vic...like going to work for that Araby sort of dude and selling drugs?? I was like lol okaay. And then she was a tomboy, I guess to avoid being treated like shit? Because remember that scene where they were catcalling women and disrespecting them and Vic in her khakis was going along with it like she was one of the guys? Okaaay...like what was all of that?? I def felt at a certain point the movie was doing tew much. Why couldn't Vic have stayed at home and we sort of see how things evolved (or devolved) there? It just felt very like they felt they needed to change scenery. I don't need a bitch/dude from the hood selling drugs storyline every...fucking time, yeah? Every nigga not a gangsta. Bitch coulda stayed on the homefront and got that janitor job or whatever and we see how shit went for her with that. But then would I be complaining about her being a custodian and how it's typical? Tbh, PROBABLY. 

Anyway thanks for this scene

and this, bye.

Green Chair (Love Conceptually) (2013)

Um. What was this movie about? I saw this like three months ago and...just could not write about it. And now that I have the energy and audacity to try to tackle this shit, I dun forgot the whole fucking plot and everything that happened :) I am blessed. 

What I remember: woman in her thirties is an art teach I think and a newly divorced...divorcée? She's like...a little depressed and trying to build her life back together after separation? She's living on her own anddd she's having some casual sex. Okay, cool. The woman was presented as very...like, damaged? A fucking mess. Lowkey highkey sloppy af. Like, why was she blowing that old professor of hers?????? She was just doing a lot for a bitch nearly in her forties. But I guess it was sort of...sigh, idk. It was different to see a woman at an age where society expects you to start having your shit fully together, not have...any of her shit together. Possibly she built her life and identity around being married, but realized that shit wasn't her...and now she has to start all over. This has been explored in movies, but at the same time it still feels like a taboo subject? To explore this ugliness, sadness and loneliness woman experience, particularly to ~women of a certain age~. Like, typically a movie about a woman finding herself at this age, and in the manner in which the woman does it in this movie, it's couched in a comedy, but she still gets the guy in the end :)

She got the guy in the end in Green Chair...but it wasn't really a comedy. It was kind of intense, for a...Korean indie. Also, the guy the woman gets is...precisely twelve years old??? 

And then the end has the twelve year old doing a voiceover like "AND THAT'S HOW I MET MY WIFE :)!" 

...

Okay...

I don't even know what my review can be lol. This movie was sort of boring to me? Besides the sex scenes, which aren't even really gratuitous, but I was lowkey like, "Okaaaaayyyy" lol. That's niiiiiiice. But it was weird tho because the woman is fucking her student?? And he's mad young. Yes, he pursues her, but...didn't Jorge pursue Mary Kay? Like, that doesn't make it alright. And also you as the teacher are supposed to be like, "Whoa hold up." So I felt weird about ol' girl smashing this kid. And in the classroom? Like, bye. Actually they stopped right before he penetrated or whatever BUT THEY WERE STILL GETTING BUCK NAKED IN THE ROOM WITH THE LIGHTS ON AND EVERYTHING LIKE GOODNIGHT MOON!! 

Why was the movie called Green Chair? Or is it Love Conceptually? Love Conceptually I get because there was like this ugly ~art theme~, but what is Green Chair? She dreamed of a green chair or some mess, right? Sigh, idk, bye. 

Oh My Venus, episodes 5-7

Okay...

This show continues to do the most and I...honestly am flabbergasted. Lol no, not really. This is a k drama, but...I feel like this is the most Doing The Most ass k drama I have ever watched??? I mean, I haven't seen that many. Six or seven series total, maybe? And like a million exist? That's not enough to be making any sort of grand conclusions. But the k dramas I have seen...literally every one I felt was doing The Most. It's like each one I watch is doing More Most than the last. Wtf even will happen in the next one? Like, not even a little bit would I be surprised if Jackie Chan was playing someone's ancient, rickety ass grandma in one. She's a queen and the main male character is the only heir to her throne. Because he's half-Chinese everyone hates him. Also he has sickle cell anemia and will probably die soon. Unless they have yams in South Korea? Do they? Find out next week on...

Who's Doing The Most is...me? Always?? Sigh.

So anyway the whole time in the last blog when I was threatening to delete my dramafever app if John Kim fucked Jennifer Anderson...I guess I was talking about Anna Sue????? Did "John Kim" train them both??? It like...almost doesn't even matter, but I'm annoyed they keep talking about this ~scandal~. And now they have Venus' friend's fucking ex-husband stalking John, tryna find out where he lives?? Beeeecccccccuuuzzzzzzzzz?????? Because he hosts an Entertainment Talk Show!!! And finding out who fucking trained Anna Sue is, like, of utmost importance. Except no??? But this show REALLY wants you to believe it is?? CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW JOHN KIM'S FRAUDULENT ASS PROB NEVER EVEN MET ANNA SUE?!?! Like he was doingthemost.com when he went to get knee rehab or whatever and was texting Venus like "Blowing Anna Sue's anus out *kissy face emoji* see u soon!! xoxo"

Like, bitch, bye. Whyyyyy is he trying to make Venus jealous?? WAIT BEFORE I GET INTO THAT MESS CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS KNEE CANCER OR WHATEVER?? I'm screaming they brought this ~sickness~ out of nowhere. I mean, I know they didn't...we been had flashbacks of Baby John Kim in a wheelchair, but I feel like they were ignoring that, and then all of a sudden he's laid up in a hospital and going to therapy and shit lol and the doc is all "You are 99.9999999999% cured!!!". Cured of??? AND OMG WHEN THE DOC WAS LIKE "SO WHAT WERE THOSE PAINS YOU WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT?" AND JOHN KIM SHRUGGED AND WAS LIKE I GUESS IT'S NEUROLOGICAL AND THEN THE FUCKING DOCTOR PARROTED THAT BACK TO HIM AS IF HE WERE THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THE SUGGESTION???! I'M SCREAMING LIKE HE REALLY DID THAT I WANT TO CRY. What sort of doctor is he like I was really dying in my sleep when I watched that scene. Talking bout 99.9% cured. Nigga, what? What does that even mean??? So stupid and annoying. And idek what John Kim has!! Is his knee just fucked up or do he got like bone cancer?? The fuck

I am so...tired. Okay so let's talk about my baes, tho! Lol. John Kim and Venus are gettin it in!! EXCEPT THEY ARE NOT! I was truly flabbergasted that they were already chaste-kissing in episode six. Is this not super-soon? BUT YOU KNOW WHAT!! Because at the end of ep 7 they have some goddamn dumbass fucking ~reveal~ surprise bullshit that I am...just disgusted by. Not even because it's a big deal, but because it's not a big deal. Oh, what? Okay so it's a conflict of interest I guess if...Venus is a lawyer for...whatever fucking company John Kim's family owns?? Or??? AND THEN SIGH I GUESS HE WAS NEVER FULLY TRUTHFUL ABOUT WHO HE IS BUT HONESTLY HE WAS TRUTHFUL AND VENUS ROLLED HER EYES AND WAS LIKE "YEAH, RIGHT?" OR SOME SHIT??? 

So, WHATEVER! I see why this stupid bitch show has the two main loves already mouth-fucking on ep6, BECAUSE THEY PLAN TO PISS ME OFF BY DRAGGING OUT THIS COURTSHIP/TENSION TIL IT'S HANGING BY ITS LAST UGLY BLOODY STRING AND THEN THEY FINALLY FULLY EMBRACE ON THE LAST EPISODE AND SMASH THEIR FACES AWKWARDLY TOGETHER AND THEN MAKE SOME INAPPROPRIATE LIGHT-HEARTED JOKE EVEN THOUGH LIKE THE LAST FIVE EPISODES WERE STRAIGHT MELODRAMA TRAUMA AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S LIKE SOME INTENSE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STORYLINE??? 

I'm so tired. Imma ignore 30 plus year old Venus actin' scaredy about some kisses (because is this not me sigh), and talk about how now the show is tryna tease some depressing ass domestic violence storyline, AMONGST OTHER POSSIBLY SUPER-DEPRESSING STORYLINES! I knew it. I knew this mess was going to try and drag me for dear life, tricking me with the early episodes like this was gon' be some fluffy, lighthearted romcom. Um, okay? WELL THEN WHY IS ORANGE HAIR'S MADRE IN LAW GETTING HER ASS BEAT ON THE REG?? AND THEN CHEEKBONES' MAMA, TOO???? I want to die, this show is doing tew much. 

That was Cheekbones' mama, oui? I'm GUESSING his dad used to beat both they asses, and then...somehow Cheekbones escaped...and...I guess he became a fighter so he could eventually protect his mom? Wow, I am not here for those harrowing ass scenes they have prepared for me later :) Please stop :))

WAIT, hol' on. Is Cheekbones' mama and Orange Hair Chef's mother in law the same woman? I feel...AT BEST, super-racist :/ Skip it. I could not be more adrenal fatigued. I wonder if I have hypothyroidism :( Where is my abuser/enforcer to cure me of my ails? Pleeeeassssse. 

Here are some screencaps because I have truly lost all hope:

Omg when that police dude said this to Venus about her stalker. Ummmmmmmm??? Lol like wow. First of all, BITCH. Also why do people keep........acting like Venus isn't mad pretty? Watchu mean why would a man stalk someone like her? Why wouldn't they?? I'm overrrr it. 

1. What is with the lenseless fucking glasses on these shows. I CAN SEE THERE'S NOT A LENSE!! 

2. When John and Venus were sparring or whatever. Likeeeeee lol. This is the most sexually suggestive k drama I've seen? Like, they're doing a lot. But at the same time, it's very cutesy and like they're fourteen year olds? Sigh, I'm into it...but they be making me lowkey uncomfy lol. They are so cute! But also gross and weird? Maaaaaannn what am i doing

Please...

BUT DIDN'T I SAY I WANTED JOHN TO ~REALIZE~ HIS LOVE FOR VENUS BEFORE SHE GOT HOT AGAIN?? Sigh, I guess he sort of did??????? BUT HE DEF WAS NOT TRYNA KISS ON THAT FACE TIL THE DIMPLE SHOWED SO MISS ME WITH THAT

DELETE THIS!!!! 

Okay so this is an actual fat person and I am tired and depressed at this show having the main bitch be in a fat suit and everyone is making all these fat jokes and then they have this actually obese come through talking to Venus like "Stop losing weight lol" and then being like "The doctors at the hospital said my fat is mostly muscle"...

Lol I really wanted Venus's tacky looking ass Aliexpress coat until she turned around later in the episode and there was some ugly ass glittery graffiti shit on the back? BYE! 

*clutches feminist anal beads* Okay...

...

REMEMBER WHEN THE ~FAMOUS COMMERCIAL ACTRESS~ ASKED CHEEKBONES IF HE WAS GAY??? AND HE NERVOUSLY GULPED?? BITCH IS YOU GHEY OR NAH???

1. American Accent being Half-Chinese is soooo good to me lol, like pleez. *American English voice* I'm half-Chinese! Kowabunga! ENOUGH!! 

2. ...I don't...I am not here for Cheekbones fucking that fangirl commercial actress. She mad annoying and i am...like...I am so disgusted at k dramas for constantly having these haughty actress characters being all obnoxious and shit. BITCH, what the fuck is a famous commercial actress? You should die for being proud of something like that. You should really be murdered. 

3. ...why did...like, when Cheekbones was getting changed...why did he...shy away from the poster? As? if? that? bitch? could??? really?? SEE HIM???! 

4. 

OKAY SO!! THE TWO FUCKING BOOKS JOHN WAS READING WERE LIKE THE ART OF BEING A LONELY BITCH AND HOW MY FATHER ESCAPED PRISON?????????????? *screams until colon falls out* 

They really did that...

Ugh he is so in love I am zero percent here for Venus trying to stay away from him in subsequent episodes like I am so upset but okay :')

Amy (2015)

This doc felt mad intrusive. More so than any other doc? Maybe it's just because Amy hasn't been gone that long. But this shit felt hella...I don't know. She felt very alive while I was watching this. And then they had all that personal footage. I realized while watching that I did not actually know Amy's personality. Like I didn't really know she was funny, though that's not surprising, she's British and just has that look, never mind her sarcastic ass music. I also didn't know she sounded exactly like Minnie Driver? Who is sort of a ~funny type~ herself. She just seemed...idk, is "personable" the word? lol. When I think of "personable" I think of like a nice, charming person or something. Appropriately flirty. Amy definitely seemed charming, but nice?? Ummm. She had a bite, for sure. And appropriate to describe her ever? No. 

Just seeing her portrayed in this doc was a stark (almost) contrast from how I grew to know her in the media. Honestly my image of Amy Winehouse for forever was that ginourmous rats' nest on her head while she was out skittering about in the streets wearing bloodied, torn-up ballet flats looking like the centerfold of the month for Crackhead Magazine.

But anyway, seeing this doc was cool because I could stop thinking of Amy Winehouse as basically just a crackhead who could sing nice. And like, I'm a fan of her music, so............you'd think I wouldn't have classified her in my head in such simple terms but idk I'm a piece of shit, I guess. Every crackhead has a story. Amy's was sad and this doc made me uncomfortable???

And like, her story is no sadder than any other crackhead's? Or, like, I've heard worse, but there's this feeling she was so wasted. And...wow, didn't really have any help? It's difficult to pinpoint who honestly cared about her. Her friends from home...seemed like they loved her, but how much are friends honestly expected to do??? Her dad, no offense, seems like fucking trash. But Amy seemed to really cherish him, so idk. I mean, someone loving their dad doesn't mean they're a good person, so... And like he's always given me...icky feelings. Like he's always in the media speaking on her, and then in the doc it turns out he left the family, didn't seem to be around a lot, annnnd then when Amy became famous he's like pestering her about autographs and clearly relishing in being famous by association, which....yuck.

What about Amy's mom? She seemed like a certain type of absent, sort of head in the clouds type of mom. It was clear she was overwhelmed raising Amy and her siblings, and then I guess felt sort of broken from the separation and basically doing all the parenting herself? I don't want to come for mom because it seemed she had a lot on her plate...but just letting Amy do whatever and never reeling her in? Mmmm iono... Moms who are scared of their children...confuse me. Like, you gave birth to this demon. I mean, I guess I get it, but at the same time, not? At least not losing your power so early on in the game. When you're old, yeah, but still young, iono. I think they did mention the mom was ill, so...maybe it was that???

Who certainly did not give a shit about Amy and was absolutely no help was that Blake Fielder-Civil. Who was represented in the doc exactly as I've come to understand him in the media, though he looked slightly uglier here? What.........did Amy see in this nigga? Like his personality is dead on arrival and he has a receding hairline? Also he wears like fedoras? Um, okay???? 

There's just nothing redeeming about him. However, I know I have to reel myself back when it comes to watching documentaries. I always fall for whatever story they're trying to sell me. I am so gullible and easy to deceive. So maybe this doc had motivation to portray certain characters in a bad way, but at the same time, they still had the material with which to do that, you know? So even if Blake is not as bad as I think, he's close enough. 

And it's so obvious he came back into Amy's life when she blew up, and I'm heated! Like go away!! I'm confused why it felt like she needed him. I think in the doc it said she felt they were two damaged halves of a whole or some bullshit. Ugh. That is so...depressing. I'm not even going to come for someone's self-esteem or life decisions because 1. I'm a mess myself, and 2. This woman is deceased, so.......it doesn't matter now. But I just wish...she had been more fortified. But then, if she were...would she have been inclined to create? To sing those achey/scathing, deep from the heart ass jazz songs? Idk. But I am not team glamorize broken spirits so they can pump out art. I am team let's everyone get a good meal and a nice sleep so we can wake up the next day and put our best effort into whatever it is we do. And art does not inherently need to be fueled by suffering. If you're well enough, you can just imagine the suffering, and that's good enough!! 

I don't know, sigh. Seeing that footage of her body being pulled out on that stretcher...ugh I'm so sad. And like in the most awful way because I'm like, WE COULD'VE HAD SO MUCH MORE MUSIC!! I am so empty and ugly, sigh lol. But doesn't everyone think that?? Sigh. It still would've been nice for her to live and just be okay, even if she never produced a single piece of music ever again. She was so young it's completely ridiculous and this movie is depressing, but it has its good moments. Like getting to see Amy perform all those songs was so...refreshing to my soul. Where is today's Amy? Shit now I'm depressed again. Imma post these s/cs I took while watching (I am garbàge) to cheer myself up.

lol this was so funny. I completely forgot what the interviewer was asking but it was some shallow ass question and...Amy's faces, please. Why take a treasure like this when Taylor Swift is still alive? God is a bitch.

I'm a piece of shit...