The Punisher

I'm a Jon Bernthal stan but I don't know when it happened. I can't think of when this started, like literally no role comes to mind. I straight up had to google his resume out of pure confusion to see when this could have happened, like what movie or show, and...nothing. Literally looked up movies he's been in and realized he was in The Wolf of Wall Street, Sicario, The Many Saints of Newark, Widows, Wind River - all things I've seen - and didn't even recall he was in any of them with the exception of Sicario because I think he played like a rapist or some shit in that. I'm not even trying to be rude by saying I forgot he was in those movies, I just literally did. Obvi I'm a stan now and love him so it's not like I think he's insignificant or some shit actor but like I literally don't remember him what fucking role did he play in Widows p l e a s e 

I DO remember his TV roles way better but it's only like two? And he gets killed off mad early in both SPOILER. I was like...in The Pacific fandom back when it originally came out. What's The Pacific and what the fuck is The Pacific fandom? Exactly. The only person I stanned from that was Rami Malek, who scares me now lol and I try to act like he doesn't exist, but I barely remember Bernthal from that. He either played Basilone, or Basilone's boyfriend, but those characters were so irrelevant literally where the fuck is James Badge Dale like STOP PLAYING

I couldn't have started stanning him from The Pacific, but the only other thing I remember him from is The Walking Dead, which is a show I despise deep down into my bones. 

I watched the first season of Walking Dead when it first aired, and then maybe season 2, and quit it because I hated every character and I mean every character. It's a zombie apocalypse and really all y'all can get ate like idgaf! Recently, a youtuber I watch decided to do Walking Dead reactions, so I decided to give Walking Dead another shot, just to keep up with the reactions. This time around, I deeply cared about Shane and his long ass, demonic fucking jar head. He was like the only character I gave a shit about. Him, and that obnoxious, bird-brained, lesbian-faced blonde bitch. Wait, am I literally figuring out as I'm typing when I came to be a Bernthal stan? Maybe. Like, Shane was the only relevant character and the only one who made sense. Like he is literally psychotic and a very evil and nasty man and the only one I was even close to rooting for. Like literally kill that black man’s wife-enjoyer from Love Actually, steal his hag wife, kill that annoying kid of theirs, and drive off maniacally into the sunset happily ever after like what's confusing? That's the only thing I didn't like about Shane - like stop pussyfooting around and just literally kill everyone who's annoying. For your benefit, as well ours as the long-suffering audience members like please!! Anyway, The Walking Dead sucks and I'm #TeamShane down something serious! I stopped watching this go-around right before I got to season 5. I just...could not do it anymore. I couldn't do it. Can't believe they killed my baby Shane and relegated Glenn to the pathetic, simpering role of Maggie's Boyfriend. Bastards!

So whatever now I'm in Bernthy Hive? What is Bernthal Hive called? Is there one? Is he secretly lightskin?? Anytime I stan someone I always want them to be secretly lightskin, like don’t even get me started on my ~Joseph Cotten is secretly a quadroon~ conspiracy theories smh

I've watched so much random shit for this man (some weird monk movie co-starring Zendaya's twink boyfriend; Sweet Virginia which I rec for Chris Abbott's demented, Evil Sling Blade ass performance) as well as some terrible shit starring like pedos and rapists (the first five minutes of Baby Driver; the first episode of American Gigolo whhiccch I don't think stars any rapists* but it was just terrible like why does Jon have the most chemistry with Rosie Fucking O'Donnell y'all CANNOT be serious!!! Cut that shit off so quick lmao) - like, it's BAD.

I eventually make my way to The Punisher. The final stop. Just kidding I'm looking at his credits right now and there are some terrible many other things there that he's been in that I definitely do not want to watch (what fucking role does he play in King Richard???) but that I prob eventually will (literally wtf is Ford v Ferrari please cancel Hollywood I'm tired of the bullshit for real).

Like, I aint wanna watch this. I think I'm against Marvel lol. Is Into the Spider-Verse Marvel? I think so. That was genuinely good, but...um, like nothing else? Or, okay, let me not make a critique on like the quality of the content. I will say this superhero shit, and specifically the Marvel stuff, is just not my cup-o-tea. So this Punisher shit was getting ignored HARD even as I slowly became a fervent Jon B stan. I was not tryna watch this. I think, tho, I kept getting exposed to gifs and clips of him as the character and those finally got me to cave. That one clip of him like tied to a chair or something and screaming NOOONONONNO had me in a choke hold lol I'm like I HAVE to see what's happening there lol so, sigh, here we are.

*pending

Me and bae

I have little knowledge of most things. Like, I'm literally typing a blogspot blog right now I am very much not in the loop, but is it just me or was what Frank was doing on the job site not seem extremely dangerous? I don't know construction jobs maybe it's fine. He looked really hot doing it, tho, and that's what matters at the end of the day.

i feel like this show should just be 26 hours of frank washing his face ngl

Me in the shadow realm trying to force-feed my dad some bland, nasty sandwich

Is this the only foto Frank has of his stupid family? It's all tattered and shit. I also have to say right away that the constant flashbacks and reminiscing of the super-deceased family rings extremely hollow. We don't get to know them and the few times we're shown anything they just come off like bots. You can't just tell us the main character has a dead wife and kids and just auto-expect us to feel sad feelings. We need characterization! Like I don't care about these dead folk i aint even know them!

"Hey, sleepyhead" 

if Frank's dead wife wasn't dead I would kill her myself

Literally have PTSD from her constantly waking him up in her irritating ASMR voice. And in these little flashbacks is Frank deeply asleep in like the middle of the day while his wife is up and has cooked breakfast and shit and done her makeup and put on some stupid Dress Barn dress? Like ur a bum

So confused why Frank was being bullied by those homoerotic white thugs at his job? Frank looks like the scariest guy there like r u dumb? I will say it's a fairly accurate portrayal of your average introvert's experience in the workplace tho lol

Frank covering his titty because Donovan was being a weirdo and staring at his chest. I'm such a Donovan-anti lol Frank shoulda let him drown in that cement (YEP!)

Frank is so dramatic lol. He looks like one of those Hebrew Israelite old heads obsessed with Jay-Z lmao

Anytime C. Thomas Howell appears in anything I get excited. I secretly stan him because he stars in one of my fave movies, Soul Man (plz don't watch it lol)

I will kill Frank's wife please stop coming in to gently awaken him I'm gonna fucking lose it..

God, me suffering through a corny ass Marvel production just to see my main man. Why can't Cassavetes come back or something so he can do something else I'm hurtin' real bad. Doesn't he know Scorsese? Please, I'm begging someone good to become obsessed with him and put him in something decent. Like, I need an On the Waterfront or Manchester by the Sea from him PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU!!

No, like, this show isn't that bad I'm being dramatic I just wish Donovan had been killed. The show can't be considered a quality program if u just lettin any ole body survive. Like, come on now.

x marks the spot

something very eastern european gay porn about the construction guy scenes

Me like five minutes into episode 1

Madani's mom came to serve cunt and be generally useless.

She is so ME-coded (I've never served cunt I don't know y i said that)

I liked this part where the Mobster pushed his chair back to make it difficult 4 Donovan to get by lol

Donovan is SEW STEWPID. Honestly I think I h8 him so much because like, literally me.

Me killing Frank's wife in the shadow realm to nip these damn reveries in the bud

Look what they took from you!

Me wen I catch up to the creator of this show for jamming all these damn dead wife flashbacks in when they could've used those moments to show more Frank killing people like be very 4real

me using gait recognition to stalk my main man

I don't think it's controversial to say that it's prob 4 the best that Frank's son got murked. He was giving psycho teas just in one cringe flashback. Like wut small-sized little boy is happily creaming over the idea of a bunch of "hajis" (who says that?) getting killed? What a strange child. Glad he's dead.

literally me the whole series rooting for him to kill pretty much any1 i don't ship him with

Me when i was forced to watch Daredevil to scoop the background tea on Frank's character. Obsessed with how that show provided me with literally no info. Still have no clear idea y Frank's family was killed, nor do I understand Karen's obsession with him? Frank was just over there having his life's best work being blocked by that do-gooder blind lawyer. Just hanging out, going to prison and vibes, really.

mood

Frank is a clown for this. But in a different world, what a perfect meetcute for a romance film that tricks you and it turns out to be a psychological thriller where the female lead is literally running for her life at the end. Wait, I need Jon 2 do a movie like this.. Why do i keep making myself upset by conjuring things that don't exist and i have no power 2 make them exist??? Just Aquarian tings, i suppose.

lmao me screenshotting every second Jon is onscreen #fangirl

Nooooooooooo!!

Literally so upset they took my bearded mountain man away from me! Also, y did they keep referring to him as a hipster? He looked nothing like a hipster? Lieb had more of the hipster look, imo (#antisemitic?)

I will KILL these corny ass flashbacks! 

me eating beans

I've seen Jon n Ebon act 2gether in like 50 things at this point - are they besties irl? Don't tell me I DON’T want to know! Anyway does any1 ship his character with Syd's on The Bear? Please don't call the police on me :(

me runnin up to the creators of this show to demand y they took away Frank's luxurious Depressed Man locks and beard??

Now this is extremely gay of Frank. Somethin' not right with him!

Obsessed with how Ben Barnes looks nothing like an American military serviceman. He looks so posh and out of place lmao. It took me a minute initially to get used to him in the role. Like even buying him as just an American was a stretch. However I really enjoyed his performance so no shade to him, ultimately.

Oh, Schoonover's titties are SITTIN!

Only a top tier villain is eatin' celery straight up like a snack. Only a demented person does this. If you know anyone who eats raw celery str8 up as a snack, at minimum, they are a serial killer. Just a heads up!

Ok, these scenes were very erotic to me. I would watch a porn about this.. (WUT??)

Can't tell if I ship Madani x Billiam. They look goodt 2gether, I'll say that. But Billiam is like, um, super toxic so uh..maybe no? (Like, DEFINITELY no???)

this little freak moanin n groanin about the bed

Wut American City is Evil Andrew Garfield supposed to be from? Please let me know!

me wen this universe attempts to shove the Karen + Castle pairing down my throat

Literally y do they even care about each other? Idk but it makes me cringe TAKE IT AWAY!

This one-eyed bish played Jackie’s simp side-dude on Nurse Jackie (Nurse Jackie gang, STAND UP!). Still a lame after all these years i see 

Idky Madani casually having pics of her boss' corpse on her computer was so funny to me. 

She really is babygirl 4 that

This janky ass banner

I honestly wish Curtis would've just minded his own damn bizness and not interfered w/ this little freak getting hired at Anvil. Cuz now look smh

This is literally dark as shit and you can't see anything because shows and movies like literally refuse to let you see shit now. Like I will be watching Euphoria and wondering if these teen sluts and baby crackheads know how to turn on a damn lamp or wut. I will be watching near-flawless Hannibal like um hello is the raw bareback animalistic gay sex happening in all the dark places like turn up the light bish i can't see it! Like literally every show including this one but I have 2 talk about this because this scene wuz wen i started to get a bit more invested in the show wen initially i was just watching 4 my boo Jonathan and did not care about wut was going on lol. But the car chase scene and then subsequent crash wuz wut hooked me and now looking back i realize this is wen i started shipping Frank and Madani. Idek if ur allowed to ship them but it became my main thing, espesh 4 intolerable season 2

I just had to talk about this because it became my personality for like two weeks and i just can't not acknowledge it :)

They be talking so freakin close lol. Also, do i ship them?? (i cannot tolerate a mid show without shipping every character like sum wild beast like it's just not happening)

This was funny lol like I'd be so pissed sittin' there eatin tuna fish out of a bag lmao. But Lieb is not ur little housewife, Frank - do you understand this? I don't think u do.

me after a long, hard day of doing nothing

A cozy little cabin. Can't believe they disturbed that ginger hick minding his business. Franko always bringing his ghetto, destructive ass bullshit around smh

me showing up ghetto and musty to the function

There he is! lol

Me wen my housewife refuses to make me a sandwich

me wen Little Miss Dead Wife shows up to swan around in her tired floral dress with bout two thoughts in her head. 1. is, I am Frank's Dead Wife. The other? Did you remember 2 say "hey, sleepyhead?" you should say it again i think u haven't said it in awhile it's been like five minutes or some shit since u last said it defo say it again b4 u 4get!!

This was weird. Why would Madani have her confidential work files all out in the open like that and y did it take her 4ever to realize Billy was snooping through them? She needs 2 lose her job lol

me during the scenes w/ karen and that news guy or when that blind bald fuck was talking to that woman she might've been a senator idk but snoooooze

frank giggling and smiling @ the love of his life

bill giggling and smiling back at his main stud that always held him down!!

the weird, sexually-intense scenes between this guy and his dad

me every time frank reminisces about his dead wife and kids

aw he tried to get a little kissy kiss (POLICE!!!!)

me checking Timothee Chalamet 4 chlamydia

pleaz Billy evilly smiling after torturing the mother that abandoned him. Honestly, it's wut she deserves. 

Talking mad close again. If I was Sam I would've broke on Day One. He stronger than the marines! (still got killed, tho)

me wen the show tries to get me to care about Frank's dead wife and kids

Okay, it's giving Mr. Model!

ooooh, this shit pissed me AWF!

oh Billy is slutted OUT! My persian princess madani put the PUSS on ‘em!! (i’m a full-grown adult, btw)

Imagine this thuggish, goon-looking stranger constantly showing up to your house? Lieb's wife has no type of survival skills or self-preservation instinct to speak of. Strange psycho all up in the house where ur kids stay. You don't know this man! Like, the thirst levels are OUT OF CONTROL!

me watching scenes where there’s an awkward sexual chemistry between frank and lieb’s hot wife

Did anyone else kinda want Frank to fuck Lieb's wife? I guess this not that type of show. Shame.

LMAO!!!!

frank internally launching into a muted homo-panic when lieb asked him if he “missed sex” and then told him he was hung like a moose?? (he was very much fidgeting in his chair!!) deeply unrealistic that they never fucked in that bunker

Lieb's thirsty wife frantically blowing up frank’s fone to tell him her son’s a future school shooter. Like ma’am that is not his daddy??

Also, leaving lil columbine alone with this strange, deranged man??

Someone call CPS!!

Bill asking Sam “who’s pretty now?” after stabbing him to death? Um, still you? #lightskinbehavior

sam was right to be mad at d literally y would she divulge classified info to bill like u need to lose ur job lol and now look sam is dead smh

But anyway, this scene was genuinely romantic. RIP SAM, #gone2soon

wut is this

me hearing hey sleepyhead ring through my head years from now at my darkest hour

You have to understand that Frank creepily spying on Madani in her apartment is doing literally nothing to get me to not be insane about shipping them. I'm pretty sure we are not intended to ship these characters? But how could I not? I mean, look at the material!

Me about to take a nice little sip from my giant jug of piss

Karen is the epitome of white privilege. Didn't she start out in the mailroom of that company she stole confidential documents from? Then she was a paralegal 4 sum blind bitch for no reason, now she writes for a paper and is going on podcasts carelessly provoking a crazed lunatic #girlboss #get2thebagbyanymeans!

I was rootin 4 that domestic terrorist (huh?) until he started beating curtis with his own leg. Like, u lost me there, brother 

This was a cute moment (literally Curtis is strapped 2 a bomb?)

when louis tried to free those birds and they refused to fly away - shocking parallels to me forcing myself through season 1 of daredevil waiting for frank to show up when it was becoming increasingly more and more clear that that was not going to happen and then i fast-forwarded to season two and he is there and i am like what the fuck why does matt keep having lines frank is here and oh god the fat bald bitch is back why do these people keep having lines and screentime this is the frank show and i just refused to fucking get it despite so many glaring, clear signs. i am a dumb, mentally-shackled bird and i will never be free

obsessed w/ how an obvious mass shooter lookin type guy walks right past madani and she doesn’t even notice. Also noticing all those mercenaries killed who worked under anvil and not immediately making the connection that bill is the big bad. No offense but how did she even get her job like it’s giving nepo hire. That’s still my boo, tho

SHOOT HIM!

Cute lil moment between my booboos :') <3

Literally y is Frank just standing there waiting for that freak to ignite a bomb?? Must be military brain rot or something cuz both of these lunatics got sumn wrong wit em

Am i supposed to be shipping frank x karen cuz EYE DON'T! It should be Madani!!

me wen frank tells sum horrible story about making his wife a baby mama three months into their relationship or how his block-headed son was a full-blown maniac getting boners over him killing innocent civilians and we're supposed to, like, care and feel sad like i'm glad they're dead lol wut did his wife even do why did i say that u know what she did sHE SAID HEY SLEEPYHEAD like, so many times. what crime did lisa commit? well, she committed the crime of not being Leo. Literally if Leo was Frank's kid I would care way more about his tired ass sob story. Also it's extremely strange that Frank and Lieb have the exact same family makeup like even their kids kind of look alike wut do they make these people in a fucking lab WAIT CONSPIRACY!! wait is that the real story this whole time this sum illuminati shit like I love Frank but I am not rooting for him he is a weird guy, he did sum weird shit and his motivations propelling all his actions are sus at best lol but that's still my boo at the end of the day however arrest this slut, and i mean IMMEDIATELY

Bae on TV!

frank talking to his TRUE daughter Leo #lisawho

OKAY DAMN WE SEE THEM

Leo and her impostor daddy

me wen this show tries to get me to ship karen x castle - NOT HAPPENING

me on my period

pleaz billy delicately wiping blood off frank's lips??

So this show defo suffers from a severe case of Dead Wife Syndrome, of which there is no cure. However, interesting we never see her rolling around ethereally in white sheets. Frank is the one wrapped in the white sheets here. Provocative. What could it mean?

My babygirl covered in blood :')

lmao literally me wen homeland busted in and bill realized he lost everything he'd worked for

please this was giving jack and rose at the end of titanic??

Frank is such a drama queen lmao

I'm pretty sure he's posted up bleeding all over Madani's bed tho??? Like am i allowed 2 ship them i can't tell like yall keep giving me stuff like this and expect me not to? #hmm

pleaz Lieb literally dressing Frank????

Madani literally has her entire bare hand in Frank's stinky boot?? If u dont want me 2 ship them don't do erotic things like this??

LEAVE CURTIS ALONE!! GET OUT OF HIS HOUSE!!

me looking 4 romantic subtext between frank n madani interactions

plz billy betraying frank and his family is so funny 2 me. He’s just a little guy

me @ this hairstyle??? he looks like a nonce

me every time frank has a flashback to the carnival like GET! OVER IT!!

wait i felt a tiny little bit bad 4 him here??

This was brutal, nasty business. How is Baby Billy s'posed to maneuver thru the world without being a pretty boy? You condemned him to death without even having to kill him. 

Frank is psychotic lmao

Franklin cradling bae's bleeding skull in his lap. It's like, so romantic.

My two injured, tortured babies. Please can the other two irrelevants leave so Frank and Madani can lay next to each other in the bed? Why can't we ever have good things? 

 

i h8...everything that this show purports to be (random out of context notes i took instead of going to therapy):

-“happy's a kick in the balls waiting to happen" (frankism) what an emo drama queen

-blue eyes construction asswad asking frank "u wanna take me, i aint goin nowhere"????

-donovan asking frank to administer first aid on the job site????? (like no lol)

-“dad’s gonna kill lots a hajis!!” literally wut

-“well im not about to throw shade on my friends" (brooklyn boy bill)

-"there was nobody better than frank” (billy) (GAY)

-ebon scares me. His head is a flat circle.

-“he was a good man, he was an honorable father, he was a cop-” err 1 of those things is not like the other, my friend

-frank saying lieb’s son is a “wall to wall asshole” - say it LOUDER!!!

-y is frank always having sum disturbing story about his son

-y is karen obsessed with frank lyk u just hung out w/ him a lil in daredevil like wuts going on

-everytime frank reminisces about his dead wife and kids an angel gets punted str8 to hell

-frank cucking lieb by seducing his entire family is very important to me

-*frank gravelly voice* “we’re marines, we can handle disappointment” literally SHUT UP!!

-”u know, the jews run the internet” (that fat, racist maggat) (tea, tho!!)

-bill saying madani is “hot” for frank (fueling my madani + castle shipping heart - i am not responsible for my crimes!!)

-“come on, tell me wut she wont” (bad boy brooklyn baddie billiam)

-the CONSTANT and I mean CONSTANT trauma dumping from lieb’s wife. But i honestly can see how she and frank linked up cuz he dont never stfu bout his damn *trauma* neither!

-“relax, nobody’s listening” (when we all know DAMN WELL - brooklyn bill, u nasty sheisty bitch)

-sam saying madani reminds him of castle - wut to make of this? [gives hannigram vibes? Cuz like, in what sense?]

-“yeah, i’ll have some chamomile, thanks” (lieb) (no but me going through the absolute darkest moment of my life)

-frank saying “i was a real, prick asshole just like you” to a little boy? But honestly, DRAG!!

-frank screaming about how he’s a UNITED STATES MARINE and saying that deranged twink was nothing but shit on his shoe like he’s sooo much better than him. I dont think so sweaty :)

-karen is giving very much graduated top of her class from dick suck academy

-"u dont believe in justice?" Madani be 4 real right now!!!

-billy saying “brotha” around curtis just seems racially charged idk

-billy telling a story about a guy betraying his friend 4 money and fame. Um, very on the nose actually

-“if u were an orphan, how do u know u were named after billy the kid?” THEE moment bill decided fuck frank and his family and honestly me

-it was extremely gay how frank refused to kill billiam. Let’s see wut ramifications that brings upon us in season 2 :)

-“never cease to amaze, Madani” (franklin) (KISS HER!!)