Sydchie 4 Now, Sydcarmy 4ever

Groupie. White boy stalker. Deranged, bug-eyed fan girl. Carmen Berzatto's #1 Stan, and his future wife - yep!

Saying stupid shit because he's so enamored by his future wife's arresting aura and captivating beauty.

She stalked you down, bro. Be for real. Why the fuck would someone want to work at The Original Beef? Especially sum 1 with Syd's credentials. To be fair, Syd literally confesses she's a stalker, and then later in the series we see that Carm literally did a background check on ole girl on some "Sumn aint right" type teas lmao. So, like, he knows she's not just looking for any job. I wonder if he was lowkey afraid in this moment lmao. His spirit literally deflates when Syd mentions she's familiar with him. Looking like he in a horror film and the serial killer has just revealed herself. So cute :')

The musky eroticism of the new girl at work enclosed in the walk-in fridge with her two, new greasy (Carm) and dusty (Richie) love interests. I don't make the rules. #MMF

Carm trying to prove to Syd how woke he is. The millennial, romantic version of "I voted for Obama"

Did the brown eye contacts factory get shut down for gross violations of labor laws??

They only put one eyeball up on the screen this time and still I--I need it closed.

He's looking at his wife, by the way. Just met her. First day on the job, by the way.

But TRUST: Syd be lookin back

Ok, I was watching some "real chef" guy on youtube talking about this scene and he was saying he thinks Carmy doesn't taste Syd's family meal because he trusts she knows what she's doing. I think I initially assumed he might've not been taking her seriously, or at least it looked like Syd was worried about that, and I was worried about that for her? But I like knowing that it's probably that Carm just knew that she had it handled and *screams*

Richie descends from the Yakubian ape truther blog

This is crazy to say to your employee? But honestly? Literally exactly what it's like working any minimum wage job, so #REAL

Wait, but, also? Did this even happen? Lmao. Like I know the Joel McHale chef was a mean ole dandypants, but did this actually come out of his mouth or did severely mentally ill Carmela's Son imagine this was said? Cuz it seems maybe this is his own train of thought when it comes to Mike. Like the wrong kid died type of vibes. It's super fucked up if he thinks that Mike deserved to live more than he did? Like why? Mike was a crackhead and he was annoying lol. Carm is such a mess. (Yeah, that's like the whole show, idiot)

Richie attending and not even graduating from DeVry is very Richie-coded of him. It's almost too Richie-coded. It's giving parody, idk

Idk why I screencapped this LMAO

Doing "extra credit" your literally like second day of work is UNHINGED. Doing extra credit for any job is mentally ill. Starting to see why Carm ran that background check real quick LMAO

PLEASE

Please why did Sydney intervene between these two demon-eyed white boys tussling? I think it's cuz she doesn't have a mother, cuz nothing else is making sense. #motherlessvibes #motherFREE #no #mom

Literally me after going through the entire show twice and still having no fucking clue.

But very obsessed with Syd trying to catch the background tea on the man she's been fangirling for years. Carmy needs to get a restraining order lmao but not until AFTER the honeymoon, ok!

Why is he looking at her like that? You've known her for like three days?

Nothing just Carmy checking in with his wife. Known her for less than a week :)

Plz are his feet dangling off the side of the bed??

Why do you look like this while talking to your employee you hired like three days ago? It's not NORMAL

"I will dial business, you are everything else" - mind you he's talking to someone he hired all of three days ago but is dumping his entire life into her hands and expecting her to just be fine with it eveything is very not deranged actually :) and absolutely totally normal *thumbs up*

Marcus already so desperate for Syd's approval. They met three days ago?

Why's this raccoon just posted up in the office lollygagging? Get your ass up and WORK!

Seconds before disaster. This is reminding me tho that when I first tried watching the show I'm pretty sure I took a long break after this episode because it was stressing me out so much lmao. Mind you, I hadn't even reached "Review". Let's not even talk about "Fishes". I don't know how I watch this show. And let's not even get into all the blue eyed demons lasering me with their satanic eyeballs through the screen. Thank god I'm so beaten down by life and dissociated cuz otherwise I wouldn't be able to get through this shit.

Nothing just Carm bringing his wife food after allowing people to abuse and disrespect her at work all day :)

Boss? Y'all are PARTNERS. Literally handed his whole business over to her two seconds after meeting her lmao. Slavery's over, white boy!

Syd kinda gagged him here lmao. I know he was embarrassed telling his personal business to someone he met FOUR ENTIRE DAYS AGO! Like bro I don't care about your dead crackhead brother just make sure them checks are clearing! Crazy.

Lmao literally what was this? Some sort of Grindr hook up gone wrong? You just know Richie does something weird like cry in the fetal position with his whole ass out.

Tina was stressing me out so bad in this ep. I hate how much of a hater she is in the beginning to Syd. It honestly was triggering because I've worked with people like her in the workplace, but in like way dumber jobs where the stakes are nonexistent and it's always like are you okay? But maybe the zero stakes are why they have an attitude? Cuz once Tina feels like the job has more of a purpose she is thankful to Syd (for showing her that the job can be more, and that she can contribute to it being that thing) and the attitude completely disappears. I don't know. She's kind of like Richie in that way, though I don't necessarily view her as a "loser" like I do Richie, but I just think it's cuz she's not a beanhead with dirty fingernails like he is. #itsokaytosayslursaboutwhitepeopleblog

Put a censor bar over them thangs! Jesus!

Kind of wanted to die after Syd told Tina her potatoes were great after all that stressing she was doing :)

I hate how mean they are to Pete :( Stop bullying him :'( The main bully being Richie is CRAZY. Like bro, you're a beanhead! A LOSER! *syd voice*. Like, bro, you're a deadbeat dad and you have no purpose in life and your wife left you (Pete has a lovely wife who would never leave him) and your boyfriend fucking KILLED HIMSELF TO GET AWAY FROM YOU - like BE SERIOUS!

Ok, so just straight-up sexual harassment in the workplace? Also, Richie is like totally gay right? Literally why are you like 50 years old and a Swiftie? He either slow or a homo (it's definitely both)

Speaking of homos... Marcus and his "roommate". Marcus another gaybo, no? Like why are you living with another grown man. I mean, he can't be making much at The OG Beef, so maybe he's just being financially prudent, but like...they're watching reality TV together and his "roommate" is visting him at work and awkwardly hugging his co-workers he clearly views as a threat. Don't tell me the "room8" wasn't marking his territory when he gave Syd that weird hug lol. He said back off my man, bitch - that's what THAT was about. Y'all not watching shit, for real. Y'all just looking, but y'all not really watching.

Nothing just Carmine checking up on wifey for the thousandth time. She's been working there for like a week, btw :)

Also, no, she's not okay? Hello? Do you not also work here? This place is a toxic nightmare. The fact people aren't "doing a Mike" every hour on the hour at this place is a goddamn miracle! Be serious!

Why is this so romantic??

Why is a song with these lyrics playing over a scene where Carmy is helping Syd with the stock? There's literally no reason for this??

I would have this exact reaction to that bullshit Bill Murray story. Like, y'all are some losers fr. Richie fumbled a hottie because he's still obsessed with his dead crackhead ex. She coulda fixed your whole life, you bum.

Listen, I'm a Sydcarmy girlie. But when I initially watched the show and we only had season 1 I was a Sydchie (this doesn't exist and isn't a thing?). They're always having weird moments and being intense with each other like hello I'm not making it up? Why are they always looking at each other and being weird with each other? Like, am I mentally ill (yes) or is there something going on here (no, please go on medication).

"Can we jam on that later?" - why is Carmy always saying weird shit? Is this a Chicagoan white boy thing or is it just a Carmelo's Son thing? He's constantly referring to shit as "gnarly" - who the fuck says gnarly? Is Carmy a real person? He really is a weirdo lol like it's constantly reiterated but for some reason I never really thought that personally in my head I guess cuz I'm also a weirdo~ #notlikeothergirls, so him being a freak didn't stand out 2 me but now that I'm really paying attention I am seeing that, yep, he's a freak of nature, so true

Sweeps clocking Marcus' tea - he's the only one who really sees him for the lunatic that he is. Kinda hoping they flesh out Marcus being completely insane more in season 3. They already exposed him for being a little bit of an incel kinda and there is something almost chilling, almost Norman Bates-y, about how much attention he pays to his comatose mother. Initially I am thinking how sweet it is that he cares for her so much but there might be an uncovered sinister aspect there. I would not be surprised if Marcus poisoned her or something just so she'd get sick so he could tend to her on her death bed. I'm thinking I'm entering my Marcus is a serial killer truther era, and I honestly have never felt more alive

Not Marcus musty in the workplace. Serial killers often smell pretty bad, too. #hmm

We're in the ghetto ra-ta-ta

Richie asking his girlfriend if she's okay. So sweet :') You're the side ho to her marriage with Carmy tho, the nasty little secret - never forget that :)

Carmy kinda gagged her here idk #sassyboy

Lmao, Sydney thinking so many slurs about that white boy in this moment. Unspeakable slurs, the likes of which you have never heard before.

I don't know if I buy that Sydney didn't know this reddit moderator wasn't a food critic. Like, look at him. Lie again, Sydney.

Beanhead showing teeth, giggling and kicking his feet with his "bestie".

Who looks at their co-worker like this? Why are you so close and intense and staring me down with those demonic blue orbs? I'm not looking at a co-worker nor someone I'm "platonic" with in this manner. I'm looking with dead, disinterested eyes only. So what's happening here, exactly? According to most they are "just like brother and sister" or to others they are "partners in business" - mhmm..

I should've known that an episode opening with a Sufjan Stevens song was finna be on some bullshit. Y'all won't catch me slippin again.

Kind of nasty that Carmy called that food critic a "hack" after he said all that nice stuff about Sydney's dish. Now if Syd was to start making fun of you for having a dead crackhead brother she would be wrong tho

Richie being messy. Please take your beanhead somewhere and do some actual work for once in your miserable, pathetic life. (I lowkey kinda agree that maybe Syd might've known that guy was a critic tho LMAO)

Richie is *very* January 6 coded, actually.

Lmao why did I think this was kinda cute? I'm obsessed with any interaction between Syd and Rich where she is verbally hacking him down to the white meat. She really don't need to be saying all that shit, either, but I'm very glad she does. I also like that it genuinely hurts Richie's feelings. They're so boyfriend and girlfriend coded and y'all not changing my mind!

Another thing I love about the Richie/Syd dynamic is that if they're tussling you know Ratboy just around the bend somewhere waiting to rush in to break things up. He knows if he allows things to get too intense between them they'll start sucking and fucking and Ratboy's not having that!

What does this have to do with anything? He's really pressed over that risotto, huh?

Domestic violenceing your wife in the workplace is CRAZY.

Literally me watching every episode

Let's talk about it! LMAO

Ok, but did she lie? #no

Touching teeth with a coworker should be an arrestable offense. The crime? Grotesque displays of horniness in the workplace.

How can people watch this interaction and not be turned on? (WHAT). I can't be the only Sydchie shipper (you are and you need to be arrested and murdered)

Seconds before disaster. Also, this lends more credence to Marcus being genuinely deranged. Does he not notice all the chaos happening in the kitchen in this episode lol like what are you doing, buddy?

Me when the cast and crew of the show tries to act like Sydcarmy aren't endgame

I think I'm going to be a Syd Stabbed Richie on Purpose truther, even if I don't really believe she did lol. It makes it more erotic for me if she did it intentionally :)

White cheeks out at your place of work is CRIMINAL. But probably getting stabbed by your coworker/girlfriend is crazier so I'll extend some grace I guess. He still dirty, tho

Carbonator just doing a quick little check in with the wife. No, she's not good, bro. You literally did a domestic violence against her, and because she couldn't whoop your ass because y'all are husband and wife and whatnot, she stabbed your cousin-but-not-really instead. Like, nothing's good, bro.

Ratboy nibbling food off the floor

I didn't realize that Mike shot himself in public. Maybe there was no1 around like maybe it was late at night idk but it's still in public. It kind of makes me think he was having a manic episode and was on the come down maybe? He was definitely mentally ill. They don't have to spell it out cuz that's boring and cringe but I would like to know maybe a bit more what he had going on mentally, tho the family definitely seems like the type to eschew therapy and trying to get a diagnosis for whatever the fuck they have going on so probably I'll have to keep dreaming

So I feel like this monologue revealed a lot but I literally forgot all the nuance from the scene lmao so that's just great. But I remember thinking that it seemed to be revealing...Carm's motivations, I think. Exposing, perhaps, the fact that cooking was never really Carm's dream, it was being close to Mike. I was wondering if cooking was Mike's thing, and wanting to open and run a successful restaurant was his thing, and Carm made it his thing, too, just to be close to his brother. Earlier in the series it's mentioned Mike had designs on franchising the OG Beef, so he definitely had his little plans for the restaurant but franchising does not seem like something Carmy would care about himself, only something that would interest him becuz it interested Mike. I think I didn't realize that Carm maybe doesn't actually care about cooking like that until 1. I saw someone else on socials speculate about this, and 2. rewatching this scene and realizing that he literally kind of lays it out that that's maybe the case? Like he says he goes into the professional culinary world basically to show up his family (Mike) for "rejecting" him. Like that doesn't sound like someone who had a personal passion for cooking. So, very interesting. Sooooo interested to see where they take his story, especially if it ends up not being food-focused. Could they even go in that direction? Idk, but I'm very curious!

When I first watched this scene I was like ok maybe we'll get a cute little Syd/Marcus romance but I feel like season 2 totally killed that lmao. Also, Marcus is gay and also he's a serial killer, so :)

"You're dressed like Syd" - and literally everybody else? Everyone is wearing that apron! This man has LOST IT! Syd has been gone for ONE DAY! Pull yourself together, MY GOD!

So are we ever gonna get a follow-up to Richie literally committing aggravated assault???

Saw sum1 say Carm is fondling Syd's notebook like he's a prisoner of war who hasn't seen his wife in years LMAO (so true, tho, and how the HELL is a moment like this platonic? Y'all are not serious people AT ALL!)

Love when the Ratboy gets mad and the nostrils start getting all wide and the veins are popping out. (why do I think this disgustingly horny sentence is okay to write like please get a diary this is UNSEEMLY)

Me tryna make grill cheese

Ratboy missing his wife (she's been gone for 1 day)

Giggling and kicking his feet when wifey texted him to shove it up his ass. Giving major "And then what?" vibes.

Fak turned on by Richie getting stabbed. He just like me :/

It's so romantic of Richie not to press charges against Sydney for stabbing him in the butt LMAO. He sees her and just acts like everything is normal? Bro, you have a whole gash in your ass because of her? Please, sorry, it's literally romantic like there's no other way to interpret this

This is no exaggeration when I point out that this is Carmy straight-up just proposing marriage to Sydney and also asking to impregnate her?

And here is Sydney accepting the proposal. Platonic besties, tho. #delusional

Wife and hubby looking upon their wayward child with trepidation. Y'all shoulda aborted, ngl *crowd booing me sounds*

Carmy writing out the figures for their budget kind of reminded me of Will drawing the clock in Hannibal when he was suffering from encephalitis #IYKYK

When you have a crush and your crush makes you nervous and also you're a serial killer and you just be saying anything.

The way he's looking at her - chile...

Chile. I was DYING for more Sydchie (stop saying this it is NOT HAPPENING) interactions in season 2. I'm a Sydcarmy 4 lifer, but I still ship Sydchie, and y'all are not taking that away from me any time soon (um, you never had this? It's giving nurse she's out again)

But I'm cackling at the fact that Syd literally never apologized to Richie for stabbing him LMAO. Mb she did and I missed it but pretty sure she didn't. She's so girl boss, love that for her!

Sydney had no reason to be leaning on the wall like that lol

Does any1 think it's not believable at all that Carm would know Home Alone? It's possible it's just me doing too much when it comes to him. Like, in my mind he's a blind and deaf monkey born and raised in the caves of the Caucus Mountains - he don't know no Kevin McCalliper lol. But sure maybe he watched actual TV as a kid and wasn't always a total freakazoid but like we literally see him in his apartment and he's just sitting staring into nothingness and playing with a switchblade like this is not a "person" overly familiar with pop culture references idk

Wife and Hubby passionately staring each other down literally in the middle of a business meeting with a mobster. Like, hello, focus! Thank you!

Her beautiful smile :') The turn around on Tina is crazy, but I'm so happy to see it. Like, it's sooooo corny but I love it. I think they picked a good actress to pull it off because I feel like if it was someone else I would be staring blankly and waiting for her scenes to move around lol. Anyway this is me saying I like Tina's arc if you couldn't tell lmao

This is reminding me of Markus Retardus' handwriting from Fear (1996) #IYKYK

Ask her out on a date, idiot

She was so real for this

Carm finally asked her out :')

Also, asking your CO-WORKER to come to your house to do work together has definitely gotta be some sort of HR violation idk

LMAO literally me

She's innocent, your honor!

Kinda wish they explored what was going on with Ebra more? I really like the diverse~ cast and would kind of like them to explore the personal situations of the different people they have in the kitchen outside of the main characters. Like, where does Sweeps live? I can see him living at the YMCA like I want to see his cot. What do the hot dishwashers do on their off-hours? It doesn't have to be a ton of screen time dedicated to them, as I understand they are more minor chatacters, but I would like to get more, thanks :)

Giggling and kicking their feet on their date. I mean, they're working or whatever *rolls eyes*

Carm has no reason to be so close to her in this scene. He literally has his whole body on top of her? Please if I was Syd I would harshly elbow him away but she not gone do that hmmm I wonder why *stares*

Y'all are lip to lip in the workplace right now..

Lmao literally me whenever Fak and Richie interact #backupabit

This is framed romantically. Sydcarmy antis not winning the war, I fear.

Lmao Carm really pulled the "Well, at least you have a dad". Bro, we get it - you're a bastard. Please just let Syd vent about her perfect, non-problematic dad without you having to trauma dump every goddamn second sheez!

Jesus.

Can we talk about how Claire is also a Carmine groupie? This shit is crazy this freak literally looks like a diseased possum but he has all the girlies thirstin' and burstin', chile. He's kinda an IT Girl for that idk. It's crazy how they reveal Claire's been obsessed with him since like middle school, meanwhile Carmy barely remembers who tf she even is LMAO I can't deal with this

This is the face of a man who has no idea who the fuck you are smh

I like Syd's dad but I didn't like how he was speaking negativity into her dreams. I agree it doesn't make sense to mention how literally every restaurant fails lmao like who does that help I'm sure your intelligent daughter already knows this. Please just support her and be there for her when/if she needs you. Like all that commentary is not needed lol but I get it he's her dad he's just concerned yada yada

Kinda feel sick to my stomach. Claire was SO manic pixie dream girl coded that I gaslighted myself into believing it was intentional. I'm like: There has to be a good reason 4 why she is so...non-humanlike lol. But all I could really come up with was that the creators/writers wanted to present essentially a "perfect girl" and use her as a device to show that Carm is still really fucked up and a mess. And, hmmmmmmm. I hope I am missing some nuance and that is not what they were actually going for. Presenting any character as like essentially a fanasty perfect person is not going to work when your show is supposed to be based in reality? Like it came across like she had no soul or something or was like a bot like I'm so confused but maybe something went over my head? This happens, like, A LOT so I'm not gonna count that out as a possibility lol

Bro googled "fun" *stares*

Imagine going 2 group therapy and this weird looking white boy is giving some dramatic long ass monologue about how much of a virginal loser he is and how ugly his older crackheaded brother is. The way I would ask for my money back. Bro is sitting there literally just reading off the definition of the word "fun". Is Carmy a real person? I'm being serious. Is he a bot? He's either a virgin or a chatgpt bot. Almost definitely it's both.

me furiously jotting up this unhinged post to further push the Sydcarmy agenda. RISE UP, SYDCARMERS. (I should've killed myself a long, long time ago. This is what happens when you ignore hiss-filled orders from the demon possessing you because you have issues with authority)

Mommy and Daddy discussing where to send their serial-killing, musty son Marcus for boarding school :)

Asking your coworker over for a date and then demanding to know if she's happy is so platonic siblings-coded of Carmy, actually

Imagine you had a beanhead for a daddy. I would just end it all.

Girl, pick yourself up from the floor. It's possible I'm missing something about Claire. She's lowkey giving Marcus vibes. There's some serial killer aspects leaking out here and there. Imagine a weird looking white boy gives you a fake fucking number and you literally track him down like a lunatic to find out his real number to call him. Are you not embarrassed? If a dude gave me a fake number I would act like his ass never existed. Like you were rejected: What's not clicking? She literally hunted down his family members to procure his real number? Is this just how Italians are? This actually a little bit makes Claire interesting to me. Like, you're INSANE.

Just lying to lie. SZA-coded.

Fave irrelevant character I ship Sydney with: this ex-con looking guy Syd tried to poach from another restaurant to come and work at The Bear. He literally looks like he would steal from your purse and stab you in the bath but idk I think Syd could fix him

Syd wdym why wouldn't Carmy be there it's his business. Maybe she's asking that because he was not answering her texts and calls. I feel like Syd should beat Carmy to death for standing her up on their date and not responding to her texts. Like, he was SO WEIRD for that. So I guess I get why she's asking stupid questions. She's just looking for any reason not to claw his face off.

Y'all are touching eyeball to eyeball at YOUR JOB with literally every coworker looking on. HUH? What is this? Just two platonic, asexual coworkers having a neutral discussion about work, actually - nothing to see here :)

The face of a man who's in trouble with the misses. The face of a man who's gonna be sleeping on the couch tonight.

Begging his wife to just tell him what he needs for her to do and he will do it

Richie talking about "ooh!" as if your cousin didn't steal your girlfriend right out from under you lmao. He gay anyway so it don't really matter

What kind of "roommate" drops you off at the airport and then gives some kind of weird, romantic speech as you're about to board? Please be for real right now

That's what she said :/

Why was Will Poulter fine as hell in this episode? Also, when is he gonna visit The Bear cuz I need that. Also, are we shipping Marcus and Luka? Cuz it was giving kinda/sorta vibes. Also, do you think Carmine and Looka ever explored each others' bodies? If we ever get a backstory episode with them I am GOING to k-word :)

Was I looking too much into this? Luca did like a weird pause when he was talking about how he had a sister. Need me some Louka backstory and I'm not joking

Luke is like the opposite of Salieri in that instead of becoming consumed with outrageous jealousy in the face of great art, he allowed it to inspire him and used the inspiration to improve upon his own work. I really liked that attitude and I liked the character - the only weird thing is that he is British. I just don't really think that's okay, I think it should be outlawed, but other than that y'all gonna have to deliver more Luka scenes. I know it's another white boy and we're tired of that but I don't care give it to me or I'm going to do an assassination :)

I feel like this Marcus rescues a guy scene is kind of a red herring. They're trying to convince us he's not a serial killer by showing how altruistic and selfless and helpful he is, even when no1 is watching. It's a misdirect, y'all not fooling me.

Giggling and kicking his feet while facetiming with his crush

Just saying anything. Down bad doesn't even begin to address this

Did any1 think Syd pretended that her phone froze to kind of "reset" the mood after Marcus was saying "I miss you" in a serious ass way to her? lol. I don't know, she's very calculated to me lmao like she definitely noticed he was getting in his feelings idkidk

Cicero giving very much boomer, very much capitalist, very much classist vibes. Like bro can't make a sandwich?

Disgusting, Sugar. Despicable!

Who's this hot teacher at Tina's cooking college? Very big and bulky and giving daddy vibes. What the fuck is this grotesque display of horniness like what is going on someone needs to come thru with a straitjacket on the ASAP - like this shouldn't be allowed

Carm and his hyperfixation on the word "gnarly". It's giving autistic it's giving asexual it's giving virgin. I also feel like Carm talks to Claire in a way that suggests he doesn't really care what she has to say he's just talking to make conversation. Very much going thru the motions vibes. It could just be him being an awkward little freak tho, not sure.

Please miss girl was not tryna invite Tina out to the bar like girl if y'all don't want me 2 cum just say that

Understatement of the year

Chile...

ALSO! Zero chance the framing of Syd as like jealous~ of Claire isn't the show making very blatant suggestions that there's more to Syd and Carm's relationship than just being business partners. I don't feel you can argue Claire getting between their relationship is just about Syd needing Carm's full focus for their work. The way it's framed makes it look like Syd is pressed for other reasons than that and then when Carm picks up on her in her feelings he apologizes like a wounded puppy like this is more than just business like am I going crazy (um) this is like super obvious I don't get how people are denying by seas2 that there isn't something more going on between them like spiritually like it's giving actively ignoring the narrative at this point

Carm was fr about to call the police on Claire for being a shoplifter. Like he for real thought she was weird for that LMAO

Lmao imagine talking to your man and this is his face. Like we're getting a divorce why are you blatantly disgusted with me like can you at least pretend lmaoo

No he wasn't at all. He was a haggard, mentally ill crackhead who literally ruined his brother's life? Claire just be saying shit.

Me every Fourth of July

Miss Mamas was gagged by Tina's singing at the karaoke bar lol

Here she go. Girl, he gave you a fake number cuz he don't fool with you like that. What aren't you getting?

I never understood why Claire introduces herself here. You know everyone in the room with the exception of Sydney. Is she introducing herself to Syd? It's filmed weird if that's what she's doing. Girl, walk over and shake her hand or something why the fuck are you halfway across the room introducing yourself to one person?

Chile. Aint no way moments like this not intentional. Syd said why did my man bring his side ho to our place of business like is he DUMB? And she was right to say it.

Mom and Dad fighting :'( If only that ratfaced loser hadn't brought his monobrowed side ho around like that was so WEIRD why did you upset mommy like that :'(

None of these people look related, by the way. Why the fuck is Mikey Puerto Rican? Maybe he has a different dad idk. Donna kinda gives prostitution ho vibes so I would not be surprised

JUMPSCARE. Jesus, this was fucking disgusting. Also, who is Cicero to this family lmao. Was he like the Richie to Carm's dad? Chile I don't even care just make sure you keep writing them checks, playboy. And not 2 much backtalk, neither!

This was giving Sonny in The Godfather. Pretty sure he says exactly this verbatim to his baby brother Mike. Then I started thinking how Mike is so Sonny coded (tho far less competent) and Carmine is sooo Mike Corley coded as well (actually not at all Mike is a literal sociopath Carmy is just a virgin loser lol)

Pushing the Claire is perfect 4 Carmy agenda. Scenes like this actually make me think the manic pixie dream girlification of Claire was defo intentional. I saw ppl saying Claire represented Carm's Old Life~ and is this like connection to his family and all the bullshit that comes with that, and then in comparison Syd represents his new life where he's trying to forge ahead post-Mike and get his life together and build something new for himself and they were just being very intentional and kind of obvious with the symbolism and the way scenes were shot. Like they have a crackhead and his beanhead minion screaming about how hot and perfect Claire is and it kinda doesn't really make you believe that's even accurate, simply because it's coming from them. And Mike and Beanhead act so weird about it, too, being like mad aggressive with pushing Carm to talk to Claire or what have you. It doesn't give cute at all, and Carm is reacting almost childlike in the scene and it's almost like they're straight-up bullying him and it's not giving one true pair vibes at all, not in the slightest

Neck veins bursting at the family function is CRAZY. But also, very #real.

I'm Team The Guest Stars in "Fishes" Was Way Overboard. The only one I accept is Jon B because he was already established as Mikey, but no1 else was needed. The most jarring ~guest star~ was definitely John Mulaney, which is crazy to say when also Jamie Lee Curtis was in the episode. I would have preferred pretty much all the roles been filled with really cool, but not super known character actors or something but the ep still worked so it's fine (it's not actually fine which is why I just complained LMBO)

What was happening here? Mike kept trying to touch Carm and Carm was begging him not to touch him (y'all already know where I'm going with it so just log off now) (who's "y'all" who THE FUCK am I talking to??)

Why is he standing in the doorway like that? #haggard #crackheadrealness

Y'all already know, so just log off.

What in the hell was Carm and Mike's relationship? I tried to be understanding but something is just not quite computing for me. Carm is OBSESSED with Mike. Obsessed. I'm trying to understand but their interactions in this episode was giving weirdly intimate. Maybe it's just cuz they're Italian? Listen, it kinda seems like Carmy is in love with his older brother. The real answer is probably I just need to be arrested. That's what it usually is. But something's just not quite right here. Again, the weirdness could just be them being Italian lmao and also Mike is a crackhead and Carm is an autistic virgin so maybe it's just that. Let's hope so. *stares*

Sorry. Them speaking so close and intimately in this pantry was one of most erotic things I have ever seen. Is it just me (YES AND I HOPE YOU PASS AWAY!!)? What the fuck is going on.

Mike started SOBBING after Carm presented him that drawing of the restaurant he hoped to open with him. What am I supposed to take away from this? If I force myself to think about things with a normal, non-criminal brain, I think it's that Mike...knew he was so fucked up and probably it was never going to happen. He wasn't going to open a place with his little brother. Carmy was going to go on to do great things WITHOUT HIM. I also wonder if Mike already knew here that he was gonna do it? I would love more backstory on him, actually, but not at the expense of the present-day story. But if they can manage to go deeper into his psyche without compromising what's all going on with The Bear present day, I'll eat it up, sure will!

Please do. But also #whoa. Cuz like, LITERALLY Mike. We don't have to like *guess* that both Donna and Mike are/were mentally ill. They might even share the same illness. For sure this is a family that poopoos therapy and getting diagnosed. It's almost a miracle Carm even attends Al-Anon, but I'm glad he does cuz #chile

It was giving horror movie. She's talking to her child who's just trying to make sure she's good, btw :)

I thot Mulaney was unnecessary but this made me laugh lol like literally me not really caring what's going on cuz I'm not blood related to any1 present like I would just be messy for fun cuz there's no stakes lol

Oop-

Fifty years old throwing forks when you could be filling out a job application or checking into rehab like so much on the to-do list but this is what you're choosing to do it's just interesting

Lee kinda gagged him a bit #didhelie #LeeisresponsibleforMikeykillinghimself

Watching this on the edge of my seat silently BEGGING Sugar not to ask that old hag if she was okay. Fuck her, Sugar, for real. Fuck if she's okay. I hate that I'm like angry with Sugar for asking just because I don't want to see her attacked. Ugh, so hard to watch.

Sarah Paulson kinda gagged her a bit (I don't remember her character's name. Um, Carm's lesbian aunt? with the twink husband lol)

NEED these pistachio-crusted cannoli. NEED THEM. Oh, also it was crazy how Donna crashed her car into the house or whatever. Kinda wished she woulda died, so, sucked that she didn't :/

Well, yeah, you're a huge loser. Interesting they have Richie polishing forks in this ep when just last ep his man was throwing them. What is the takeaway here? The takeaway is that you should be put under a conservatorship. Take Britney out and swap you in, yup.

Me during any and all Claire/Carmy scenes

The food always looks good on the show but this is the sole exception. Chicago pizza looks fucking disgusting. Literally this is just cake with marinara sauce on top? *throws up*

This brought to mind Carm's reaction to Mike's detachment from him. In the case with Carmy, he internalized Mike not wanting his little brother around out of likely embarrassment concerning his predicament, but also he was trying to protect him from foolishness, as well. In Richie's case, Carm sends him to that other restaurant because he believes in him and wanted him to get experience and see what things could really be like at a place where every1 is taking shit super seriously and at the top of their game. I don't know what I'm supposed to take away tho from the parallels I literally just made up. They're both deeply insecure, that's for sure. Maybe it's just that.

Tell me why I never realized Louka was talking about Carm in "Honeydew". Lmao, that totally went right over my head and I didn't even realize until I saw sum1 else talking about it on like yewtewb or something. I don't think I should be allowed to talk about TV or movies lol. Good thing this is blogspot tho and all my posts are getting sent straight to the ether :')

Sum1 call Bill Gates. Tell him to send down those sun-blocking lasers of his. I have an idea..

[screaming internally] Girlie is so bot-coded. Literally Claire what are you talking ab--GIRL, PLEASE--Please, don't you have someplace to be? Don't you have a JAWB? Girl, you're a doctor. A resident, at that! Like, you're VERY BUSY! How do you have time to be hanging around all the time saying LITERAL NONSENSE?? Please go to work girl your patients are PASSING AWAY!

Pepto straight to the head is crazy

Marcus looking longingly at his boo as she excitedly complains to her REAL MAN how incompetent he is at running their business :)

Sumn always going on with this one

Syd, why does this matter? This is your COWORKER and y'all are AT YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS. Tho, to be fair, Carmy was just 2 seconds ago talking about his mental health issues and the pillow talk he gets into with his girlfriend or, what was it? Girl who's a friend? We should probably clarify that at some point. Or, actually, that has nothing to do with work so, um, maybe we won't do that :)

Carm can't just be good at food, he has to be good at drawings, too. Can't stand this immensely talented little rat. He still a virgin, tho, and that's never changing.

Sydney's eyes bulging out of her head as soon as Carmy mentions Claire :)

Now she got an attitude. Unserious workplace behavior.

Ratatouille playing dumb. You literally cheated on your wife? What do you mean why r u being like that? Whoop his ass, Syd!

WHY IS THIS RELEVANT!!! lmao. Like, this is literally opening night and y'alls lives are on the line like not to be dramatic but it's literally the truth if this restaurant fails y'all gonna have to kill yourselves like I don't make the rules pleaz Syd y'all have bigger fish (triggered!) to fry right now be serious!!

Carm is not playing with that Pepto Bismal lmao. He's real for that, tho. He not making it out this series alive lmao

Is Carmy, you know *shows a pictue of Doofy from Scary Movie*

Kinda need these two only child losers to have sex together. (Mask fully off, huh?)

Mike being burnt to a crisp in this foto is very him-coded. It's also incredibly heavy-handed foreshadowing. Also *emits a blood-curdling scream*

Carm and Syd hugging is CRAZY! Is anyone seeing this???

Mans is having a full blown panic attack and doesn't calm down until an image of Syd pops into his head. Like, HUH? And then he's like sitting there heavily breathing and launching into like a whole nother panic attack about how weird it was that he calmed down when his literal coworker he met like two months ago came to mind when he was freaking out lmao

Also, literally look at the lyrics? Y'all not gonna play in my face today, or any day - that I know!

Imagine saying to your business partner that you don't want to share their attention with anyone. And then, like, he agrees it shouldn't have to be shared. *stares with my eyes wide open without blinking*

Please, his face when Syd tells him her mom died. Kinda wanna pass away (like Syd's mom)

Hmm I kinda shipped them here (she's literally like his mom, like his actual mother, and he's a dirty-fingernailed fifty year old child? My most disgusting ship, by far, and I was literally shipping Carm and Mike up there like if you're still reading YOU SAW. You saw what I did and you'll never be able to UNSEE)

Need to inhale like fifty of these.

Need to inhale these in large quantities as well. Marcum might be a serial killer, but he knows how to slap on them deserts (pleazse kill urself. like, NO MOAR)

Need to inhale this gross-looking omelette as well. Episode had me hungry as shit.

Cringing just looking at this screencap. Never have I wanted to pass away more than while watching this scene.

Syd is definitely going on Marcus' "list" #IYKYK

Syd, WHATCHU THINK? Stupid! Just like her virgin ass, rat-faced husband. Lordy lordy.

Tell that 2 yourself, Ratboy

Literally what the fuck is this romantic ass scene? There's NO other way to interpret this?? They would literally have a scene IDENTICAL to this in some cheesy Hallmark romcom where the ice queen girl boss moves back to her hometown and like gets a job doing the books for a struggling cafe owned by her high school boyfriend who dumped her because his family was poor or something like HUH??

Explain how this is platonic? #youcan't

Hello??? Am I taking CRAZY PILLS???

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

His whole pussy is out on top of her head, mind you

I'm stunned #speechless

gifting ur COWORKEr a personalized designer chef coat is UNHINGED. I'm having a break down. I can't process this. Then I'm being gaslighted that they're "just besties" like NO THEY ARE NOT. I'm gonna lose it

He's waiting for his wife to walk through the door, btw. My brain is mush at this point. Just take me to the king. (the king is NOT accepting you! #delusional)

Aw, this was sweet. Imagine if Syd and Richie dated tho (no1 is doing this). I feel like Syd's dad would try to have her committed :/

This is Syd being irritated that Carm is going out to see Claire, btw. *staring with no expression*

"You were out there talking to WHOEVER" - this is crazy. She knows good and damn well whom he was talking to. I...I don't even know what to say at this point.

Me every episode

Why r y'all so close? Touching tit to tit, opening night. All I can do is shake my head in disbelief

Y'all are at work right now

Literally me if I worked at The Bear. Chile, I would be so scared. Literally shaking every day lmao

Can't stand this hag. But I'm kind of glad she didn't go inside eventho I know Sugar wanted nothing more. She'd just ruin it with her shitty vibes. So at least she was cognizant enough to know her essence was not required. Just leave them babies alone.

I completely agree. I like seeing that she isn't so narcissistic that she can't see the real for what it is. So true you don't deserve to bear witness to your children's special moments. A lot of shitty parents don't get this, so it seems she isn't totally delusional, which is interesting. It's kinda giving Mike vibes. They are so similar and I almost want more backstory on both but don't want it to overwhelm the present day narrative so idk

Gagged her real good

Marcus snitching on his coworker just to get Syd back on his good side. As if every1 in the culinary profession isn't doing meth every day. Little snitch boy. She don't WONT YOU.

Pete bursting into tears over how fucked up the Berzattos are. He is so me.

Little ratboy locked in the fridge. It'll be interesting to see next season what comes of this. I wonder if they'll pick up right from seas 2 or do a time jump. It'd be interesting to see how Carm reacts to missing like the entirety of The Bear's first night up and running, and seeing how things went smoothly without his overseeing everything. Also wonder what will come of Claire overhearing his freak out. I dunno if they would break up just because of what he said? It wasn't like he dragged her, and if I was Claire I would just get that he was having a little meltdown from stress. Not that she needs to be cool with it, it's just I dunno if it's enough to break them up. We shall see!

Aquarians

Virgos

Girl, your patients are dying

Marcum giggling and kicking his feet while opening the gift he received from Luca *homophobic side-eye*

Girl, Marcus, answer the phone, girl!

Literally me finishing this blog. Feel like passing away. Ok for next season I need:

-Loouka and Marcus sextape release

-Sydney whoops Carmy's ass in front of every1 and he cries

-Donna dies [gets hit by a bus in front of every1 Final Destination style]

-Louie gets a girl pregnant and Tina asks Ebra to perform the abortion

-Luca visits The Bear and makes erotic advances towards Syd in front of the ratboy

-Richie hugs Carm and gets an erection (it happens in front of every1 during Family Style)

-Marcus' mom wakes up from her coma and tells the police Marcus has been putting small amounts of antifreeze into her Gatorade over the course of several years (it was revealed to her in a dream during her coma)

-Claire turns up pregnant but is shooed away when Carmy reveals he is still a virgin

-Sugar has her baby and it looks suspiciously wasian. Richie says slurs about it (affectionately)

-Cicero gets killed in a mobster shoot-out and leaves his mobster empire to Carmy and the show becums The Sopranos 2 and Edie Falco guest stars as Carmy's REAL MOTHER (Yep, he was adopted!)

-Sweeps reveals that he is Banksy