The Babadook (2014)

Yikes, so this was a movie about...a woman hating her child? Like...she didn't like him? lol. But why has this movie been made a million times before though? This movie was giving me strong Joshua and Orphan teas, except Vera Farmiga was replaced by Essie Davis in the child-hater role this time. 

Are these types of movies like really relatable to moms? Specifically white moms let's keep it real. The Babadook wasn't entirely similar to Joshua and Orphan, as it was explicit in those movies that the kid was a demon lol. In The Babadook it was more sketch. Actually it made it out that the mom was more the demon. She was just on some Münchaunsen's syndrome by proxy shit, non?? She was just fucking nuts and projecting that shit on her kid. Is that what this movie was explicitly going for? To show how sometimes moms just aren't fucking feeling it? Because I was reading some reviews about this when it first came out and some comments were like "Wow, so brave - speaking aloud what moms usually keep to themselves" and I was like yikes.com/somebodyhelpthem. 

This movie wasn't scary at all. Kids aren't scary to me. Joshua almost got me with that weird ass little kid because it started making me think that if I had a kid maybe it'd be possible for this little nigga to be gaslighting everyone into inevitably believing I was abusing him. That movie almost touched based in reality, so it scratched the surface of being genuinely fear-making. Orphan with the fucking Russian midget asylum-escapee...did not lol tho I love that movie. Again, The Babadook doesn't make it explicit that the kid is the Scary Thing, but they kind of tried to push that? What with him and his creepy ass book and general freakishness. But isn't this kid a fucking freak because of his freak ass mom? That bitch was weird, okkkay. If you're gettin' scary cuz of a kid you made that's akin to you jumping when you walk past a mirror. Which, is like, so a thing the mom in this movie woud do. Because she was...IN   S A N E. 

But anyway I didn't relate to whatever suspicious ass message this movie was trying to get across because I don't have any kids and specifically no fucking white kids. That's like...the one good thing about my life: no white kids. I don't need to relate to a movie, though. Though it kind of helps with horror movies, now that I think about it, because it makes it easier for me to be scared. This movie had some interesting elements...but I don't feel it was doing anything spectacularly new. It was at least not a total cliché-fest, which is nice, but ultimately I was just like "okay..." Which, tbh, is actually a fairly good reaction when you consider it's a horror film. Usually my response to horror films is to drag them to the very last inch of their life, and then, of course, watch the sequel. Will I be watching the sequel to The Babadook? Well one, I doubt there will be one. This seems like a more pretentious-type, one-off affair. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT! They might do an American remake, and lowkeyhighkey I want that. I need a dumber, more horribly-acted version of this, I think, to enjoy it. If I'm not going to be scared by the general concept, then at least give me some camp and ridiculousness to dig into. They should do like a Tyler Perry version of this. Or M. Night Shyamalan can poop out some mess and for no reason it stars Paul Giamatti. OMG PLEASSSEEE!!!!

Hush (2016)

This movie was lit af. Like Wait Until Dark but deaf meets The Strangers. Does that sound really bad and dumb? It does! And this movie totally could have went in that direction and maybe did several times, but, bitch, who cares?!, because I was getting my fuccckingnnggnLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFEEEE!! 

This is def the best horror film I've seen in a minute. I was yelling at the screen non-stop but it's like, girl...not only can the bitch not hear you cuz she in the screen...but...she deaf... 

You can tell a movie is lit when I'm yelling at a bitch who can't hear me on multiple levels. I had so much fun!  

So this shit starts out with this chick Maddie. She's cooking--poorly, it seems--and I'm just like sigh hurry up. Would I really hate a horror movie that just started immediately on the stabbings and demon possessions? No. I would...I think I would like that. But you know, I think the beginning ~boring shit~ really made me care about Maddie. I don't know if it's cuz she's deaf...or she was just likeable and sympathetic or she was likeable and sympathetic because she was deaf? I don't know, but I realized as the action was popping off that I, like, super-cared about her not being dead. 

Anyway, the boring shit beginning is only a short while. Ol' girl is cooking some nasty mess and then her friend-o comes over. It's some hype neighbor bitch who seems mad condescending and try-hard lol. Idk if that's just me projecting, but I would be annoyed if I was deaf and a Hearer was all up in my face doing poor sign language and asking me to come over to teach her how to fucking talk to me. Like, girl, be gone. Also her comments about Maddie's book...didn't seem... They were like something you'd say if you were trying really hard to find something positive about some shit you hated so much it made you want to throw up and die??? She was like..."wow...the ending! didn't see that coming!!!!" and..."ur such a...[forces down vomit] good writer." Who calls someone a good writer? That's some bullshit you say to your student if he handed in serial killer poetry. Omg Devon this is sooo...good. All while you calling up social services or something. Idk why I was focusing so much on this bitch lol maybe it was the actress or the way she was reading her lines? But she bothered me. However, seeing her...get shanked like...at least twenty million times...was not as pleasurable as I thought it was going to be. Wait! I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm so glad no one reads this blog or cares about my existence :')

The smoke alarm goes off while the neighbor bitch is over and she's all "IT'S SO LOUD!!!" and Maddie is like yeah, bitch...so I can feel the vibrations. CUZ DEAF. They hang out for a bit more, and then eventually neighbor bitch leaves. After neighbor bitch leaves, Maddie gets down to writing her novel. She's struggling with the ending, I guess? I never try to figure out what stuff in the beginning of the movie is going to factor in later on when I watch horror films. I'm just totally ignoring the writer shit and the alarm thing. Also a little bit the deaf thing. I'm just like ohhhh haha she aint gon' be able to hear her intruder. It's like bitch...they have to do a whole movie. It's not just going to be her sitting on her couch while the intruder dances in the background until he gets tired and decides to kill her. Though...I would watch that. 

Okay and then shit starts popping off in like a major way when Maddie goes in to clean up in the kitchen. First of all: is this a white people thing? Houses surrounded by glass doors and nothing covering the glass? People can see into your house. Yeah you live out in the middle of nowhere, but...I feel like that's even more reason to cover that shit up. What if a bear see?? Come on.

So while Maddie is cleaning in the kitch, her neighbor friend runs up to the door and is banging on it for help. But Maddie can t hear cuz she's - what? DEAF. 

The killer nigga fucking bow and arrows this ho, then comes up and starts stabbing her like crazy. I was like...

I was feelin...some type of way. I don't like gore stuff, tbh lol. Like I'm super into horror films but anytime there's like mad stabbing or sawing or punching or kicking or any sort of violent blows to the body I'm just like 

Feeling uncomf. He stabbed this bih...so much. Soo...many times. Please never do this again. But at the same time: yess. It's lit. I'm ready. I wish I wasn't like this please help.

So after Neighbor Bih gets the shanking of a lifetime!!, Maddie goes back to work on her book and it's cute that she has writer's block or whatever and she's just cute in general but it might be because she's deaf or maybe it's just cuz she's cute we'll never know. She gets a facetime call thing from her sis and this intruder nigga all up in the house. I was mad annoyed with him when he removed the phone while Maddie was talking to her sister. The sis was all "What was that? I saw something move in the background??" Like what a dummy. But why am i like...rooting for him to do a better job at murder games? Idk...

After Maddie talks to her sis, shit pops off again when the murder nigga starts sending photos of Maddie in real-time, to Maddie, from Neighbor Bitch's phone. It's mad creepy and I'm like yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas. THEN THE LIGHTS GO OFF AND IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF LIT DUE TO THE POWER BEING CUT OFF. 

Pretty soon after this, the nigga shows his "face". Which is some creepy smiley mask and I was hella rollin' my eyes at the mask. BUT BITCH WHEN HE TOOK IT OFF!! 

This dat mouth breather from stuff I've seen! I think most semi-recently Short Term 12? His dopey lookin' ass had me feelin bad for him and shit cuz Brie Larson was all emotionally crippled and shit. Aw but I wasn't feeling bad for him here omg his face PUT DEE MASK BACK ON, FELLA! No, I'm just kidding. He's an...alright looking white child. But that face reveal was...I screamed. Lol no. That's uncalled for of me. However. I did scream, so it is not a lie. (It's a lie, I actually laughed). 

Dude reveals his face because Deafy writes on one of her UNCOVERED BY CURTAINS OR BLINDS OR SOME SHIT GLASS WINDOWDOORS that she won't tell anyone; didn't see his face. Biiiiiiiiitch, this crazy nigga is clearly here to play games. Also she wrote that her boyfriend would be coming home soon. Lol, this crazy nigga not only took off his mask, but he proceeded to recite like word-for-word everything her sister said on the Facetime call about how she was worried about Maddie being all alone out in the woods or whatever. I was like hhaaaaaaaaaaaa this nigga gon' kill u

No! But I refused to allow my bae to die. She became bae pretty fast into the movie. I'm so glad, too. I hate when I'm watching horror movies and none of the characters are bae. I just be sittin' watching like...

when these niggas gon' die? BUT I DIDN'T FEEL THAT ABOUT DEAFY AND I WAS SO HAPPY AND WANTED HER NON-HEARING ASS TO WIN! 

And she did! Lol imma just skip over mad of the action because I have self-diagnosed ADD and terrible memory. But she gave Killery Nigga his money's worth. I was gettin' my life every time she pulled some new move on him. Usually she failed, but I was still cheering. When she tried that car alarm thing I was like yaaaaaas. When she did the flashlight thing: yaaaas, bitch, u did that!! Lol like I was really rooting for my baby. So glad her deaf ass didn't die spoiler alert. BUT MISS ME WITH THE FAKE-OUT ENDING WHERE KILLER BITCH WAS SMASHING HER FACE IN WITH A ROCK. I WAS SO MAD THINKING THAT WAS HOW SHE WAS GOING TO GO OUT AND THEN EVEN MADDER WHEN IT WAS REVEALED TO BE SOMETHING DEAFY IMAGINED! I hate fake-outs and like dream sequences and things of that nature. It's so like...filler to me and adding unnecessary thrills that take away from the flow of the story. It's super-insulting to the audience even though here they tried to make it fit by tying it to Maddie's writer brain and referencing back to how she has voices in her head. How bout you reference back to not fucking testing my patience!! 

But anyway and overall, (please): good job on the movie! However, I feel really uncomfortable being positive and giving compliments so I'm gonna post some screencaps I took and talk ignorant :'):

bae <3

I'm so ugly lol. I was screaming at Maddie's ex being black and I was losing my mind trying to get a screencap of his facetimey icon thing. Lol why am i like this

This...doofy piece of shit. Lol I was screaming he was mad dumb!!!!! THE SCENE LOOKED MAD SUSPICIOUS!!! AND WHERE THE FUCK WAS OL' BOY'S POLICE CAR, HUH?! WHERE WAS HIS POLICE SHIT?? HE TALKIN BOUT CAN I BORROW UR CELLPHONE AND UR OLD HUNKY-DORY ASS GAVE IT TO HIM!! Boy!! 

This was just so crucially dumb. Or he was. I just... I mean, eventually his slow ass caught on, but I can't even give him props because it was hella later than it should've been. I think the screencaps from above were the exact moment he knew he fucked up. Boy, the exact moment you fucked up was the day you were born. No, that's doing the most. But only if the most means the truth. Doing the truth. 

BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW MURDER BAE (Boy, I mean. Not, ha, bae...) (jesus) WAS AFRAID OF BLUE SHIRT?!?! HE WAS LIKE...AFRAID OF GETTING BEAT UP?? lol nigga don't you have killing tools? The fuck is u being scary for? I died, what a loser. I mean, yeah, obviously, he kills people for sport, hello!! omg...

I was finna skreem if he did something to the cat. I don't even like...cats. Or do I? I feel like I relate to them. They lazy, furry, and rude: das me!!! 

BIIIIIIIIIITCH HER HAND!! CAN YOU SEE THIS SHIT?! BUT BAE PREVAILED!! 

YES, BITCH!! GET!! HIS!! ASS!! STARE DEAD IN HIS BLANK, UGLY, REGULAR LOOKING WHITE BOY FACE!! 

YES, DO IT!!! SPONSORED BY NIKE BITCH!! TURN THE FUCK UPPPP!! 

What am i...

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2

So this is one of my fave comedies out right now and I'm upset. Upset that I love it and upset that I have to wait a whole entire other year for a new season. This show is mad dumb and I want to do better. But it's also mad funny and I miss 30 Rock :( This is completely an acceptable 30 Rock replacement and I want to cry. 

I have like...a small hate for Tina Fey. And I don't want to like anything she does lol. No, I am not Taylor Swift, and I don't want to...like...be on any side she's on. But Tina Fey gets on my nerves. It's very white feminist try-hard and I'm just sigh. But I do love her...some of her stuff lol. Like, 30 Rock was my everything? Even the not so good seasons? (Lowkey I don't even...know what those seasons were but people say some of them were bad I guess? I can't tell!!!). I was mad upset when 30 Rock ended but also I can't believe that show lasted so long. Like, nobody watched that. People acted like they did...but they def didn't. If I started going around making 30 Rock references all the time--WHICH I FUCKING WILL!!--no one would get them?? I could make references to The Oblongs and people would get those before 30 Rock references and anyway when will I die?? Soon? No, not before season three of Kimmy Schmidt, I need to know how Titus' cruise tour of Mahogany went!! (And btw, that sounds UH-MAZING!!) 

Help me.

So, anyway wtf, I was excited for the show to come back and for me to have something to live for. I have to admit the first episode was a mess...but actually I think I just forgot how fucking manic and jokejokejokefasttalkytalk this show is. Like what do I be watching when I don't be watching Kimmy Schmidt? Slow talking shows with long drawn out punchlines, I guess? So I had to get readjusted. But it only took me one episode and thank god for those Robert Durst jokes. Why aren't people still freaking out about The fucking Jinx?!?!?! I can't believe that happened!! Also, he would be Lillian's first love. So good.

Okay rq I'm gonna talk about what I loved/hated before posting screenshots I took that when I go back to look @ them I probably won't be able to determine why I took them :')

Loved:

-Bae Titus. Again, can I just get a The Titus Show? Or is this one of those things where you need like a white foil to trick the general populace into watching and not just black people? Whatever.

-Titus's Bae. Titus' construction worker boo is cute but I don't completely know about their relationship. It's cute but idk completely! I kinda can't take it seriously just because this show is so stupid lol but I'm like...that boy is such a baby gay. But kinda so is Titus, but like in a different way? Anyway, I'm not writing a fucking think piece about anything happening on this mess, or anything in general, because "think piece" is like an oxymoron, I think. Also I'm a moron sans oxy and I can't concentrate long enough to write anything even remotely readable, even though, judging by the think pieces I have read, that is not even close to a requirement.

-Bae Lillian. I love her and I love Carol Kane and her spaghetti hair. If she dies before the new season imma be feelin some type of way. Bobby D better not kill her til I get my new seaz!! 

-David Cross. Help me, but anytime I see David Cross I get excited. I don't want to be like this.

-Dong! Ugh I can't belieb I talked about Russ Tamblyn's son-in-law before my Vietnamese Bae Dong. Not enough Dong!! Never enough please kill me. 

-Jeff Goldblum!! THE FLY!! Ugh I love him please don't be racist. He looks mad swarthy so I'm hoping he has like Moor blood or whatever and it becomes fine for me to stan after this likely pure-blood white boy the way I do sigh

-That B.J. Novak joke

Hated -- I mean...mildly disliked:

-Um, Andrea? Ech... Like, thanks but no thanks @ this. Who was my fave recent therapist cameo thing in a thing? I think Bob Balaban on Girls. I kinda wish we could get something like that here. Like why are we dealing w/ scenes involving Kimmy's therapist's...drinking problem? It was all very...confusing...and taking screen time away from whom I truly wish to see: Titus and Lillian. Don't ever...do this again :)

-Kimmy? I don't hate Kimmy. I actually kind of care but not really. I care because...she's like the name of the show lol. It's kind of like Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. Who truly cared about Sabrina? It was all about Salem, Harvey, Libby, Amber from Clueless, Soleil Moon Frye, and the fat aunt. But it's like, oh I guess I have to care when Sabrina talks because the show is called her. Fine. Kind of like that?? 

-Jacqueline. Why did...you bring her back? Jane Krakowski is funny and she delivers her scenes and sells the character but I'm just like..........why is she here? lol. She's mad rude to Kimmy and it's kind of pushing it that she's even still around in her life. And then they had the audacity to bring back that droopy faced stepdaughter of hers. At least that bitch only got like one episode, but sigh idk. And then the...awkward references to Jacqueline being Native American and how she's trying to use her socialite status to uplift and free her people or some mess? I just feel like this is very: [Here's our diversity, and also a comment! Not just comedy, you guise!!] *sighs* Fine.

Whatever, here some screenshots:

lol I was so fucking excited about these Robert Durst jokes, please. They weren't even that good and Fred Armisen's racially ambiguous ass looks nothing like him but pleeeeeaasssseeeeeeeee. Lowkey I'm a Robert stan and I feel like I'm revealing myself so imma just fall back but not really SIGN MY BOOBS, BOBBY!! No, I know...he murdered multiple...people. This isn't...something to be made light of. But I like totally get him about just taking that sandwich, that's all I'm saying. You're hungry, steal a sandwich! It makes the most sense!! 

Beautiful.

lol @ those rollers in bae's head sigh :(

Omg I can't believe I forgot about Mimi. Okay so I guess it's fine if Jacqueline stays around if I get more Mimi. I LOVVVVVEEVEVEVEVEVEV Amy Sedaris. She is my everything please don't be racist. Wow I hope she gets her own show. Why was Strangers with Candy cancelled? Why isn't Amy in everything I watch? Can she be someone Elliot hacks on Mr. Robot? Let's go, universe, Amy Sedaris in more stuff and, specifically, in more shit I watch. *sarcastic voice to ensure you ignore my request* Thanks!!!

Just needed a pic of my boo's face. Help me:')

lol oh this was when the asbestos snow was falling. *screams* But can we talk about Titus and his singing which is soooo beautiful but these fucking goddamn jingles and tunes he be singing omfg. That song about the teeth are outside bones - I almost pooped in my pants. I'm lying. No almost - did. It happens a lot not just when I hear funny songs :(

PLEASE THIS SHIT WAS SO FUNNY AND SO RUDE LOL I WAS SCREAMAING  PLEASE DON't  ever DO THIS AGAIANGNGNGN!! 

Oh god I was fucking screaming. Everything involving Dr. Dave had me crying and dying. But when she came out...omg...lol and like....I am crying again rn just thinking about it lol. How Dr. Dave explained that the orca ate her...and how she doesn't like applause and she came out and said it's because when she was inside its stomach she could hear the audience clapping...omg.......the tears in my eyes 

lol omg and when he was voted worst singer PLEASSSSE!!! 

I didn't take any s/cs for the last two eps because I was doing my hair while watching and also because they were trying to do serious moment stuff w/ Kimmy and her bullshit *rolls eyes cuz can't deal with feelings* 

Anyway, when's The Jinx 2? 

Oh My Venus, episodes 13-14

So...I still haven't finished watching this shit and I am so upset. At this point this show is reaching lol. They really dragging out this ~storyline~. One thing I really hate about Korean dramas is all the extra shit they throw into it to beef up what could be a five or six episode mini-series. Or it's like they take a five season show and compact it down to sixteen or so episodes. Either way, there's just this like extreme storytelling going on. I can't even say I love/hate it because I actually just hate it. Oh My Venus has made me really sure about that lol like literally I only care about John and Venus and...no one else. Maybe...Cheekbones. But I obviously don't really care about that nigga if I barely bothered to learn his actual name, so.

So yeah, I don't really care about all the side-stories. I a little bit care about Cheekbones and his momma (when he gon' kill her husband???), but you know what I really don't care about???

1. Venus' friend and her fat son and her estranged husband who hand-delivers child support payments on Christmas like some sort of child-support delivering Santa Claus except he's not Santa Claus he's her ex-husband and he makes everyone call him "Producer" eventho he is essentially South Korea's Billy Bush

2. Bangs and her...whatever. Her sad ass life and her sad ass relationship with Michael Phelps--

3. AND SPEAKING OF MICHAEL PHELPS. Him, being like...an employee at John's company or whatever? I reallllllly don't care about that!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

4. Whom else don't I care about? :')

5. American Accent, Half-Chinese and him trying to join the Navy or Army or who cares because he'd die immediately straight away no matter what???

6. Why is that ~famous commercial actress~ stalking Cheekbones' momma now? I...

7. Fucking...John's stepmom and her sad bullshit and her ugly son and alladat. Oh, she cooks better than John's gramma's...actual cooks? And that's why they miss her? Stop disrespecting this bitch I don't even care about!! Stop making me care about her because you keep shading this bitch to death. I'm tired!! 

I do still care about John and Venus, though. God their cute ass relationship really saves this mess. But you know I'm heated aBOUT JOHN STAYING AWAY FROM VENUS FOR A YEAR SO HE COULD REHAB HIMSELF BACK TO MR. MUSCLE OR WHATEVER. lolWHAT FHEUCK??? Who does that?! If SOME FUCKING NIGGA I WAS DATING GOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT AND REFUSED TO SEE ME FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR SO HE COULD GO TO LEGS THERAPY ALONE AND NEVER LET ME BRING HIM SOUP OR WIPE HIS ASS I WOULD FUCKING MARRY HIS DADDY. That's some bullshit, John is whilin. How he know Venus wouldn't find another nigga? She mad cute, especially now that she aint rockin' that fat suit anymore. But I guess that's the ~point~. It's some sort of gay ass love test or whatever? Bitch, please. John is really trying my nerves refusing to allow Venus to be there for him when he's sick and hurt. Isn't that the point of like love and having a partner: They're there through the good and bad? But look: I have no idea. How does love and like relationships work? email me @ degrassirulez@gmail.com and please tell me. Thank you :(

Anyway, here are some screenshots I took because I am truly alone:

Yo...Cheekbones screaming for John was so.........funny...

I'm sorry :(

But that shit...was hilarious.

But can we talk about how Cheekbones is completely gay for (pay or nay) John? The way he be talking to him and actin' all shy and shit around him? Liiiiiiiiiiiike. I'm not just projecting my gay desires onto these characters, it's really there! Watch it!!!

Why did I cap this? I think...John's guardian angel babysitter dude like...kicked the window in? Wait, what happened? Idk something funny or I wouldn't have screenshot it why am i like this :/

This...got me a little bit. Am I lying when I say I don't care about American Accent, Half-Chinese? Cuz I was getting a little choked up when he showed up at the hospital yikes!! Like John is his daddy. But yo, look: Where this little boy's parents at? Is he an orphan along with Cheekbones? John mad suss for picking up all these little Oliver Twists. Like...what is he doing with them? No, let's be positive! He's rich and gives them a loving home! Let's pretend this happens! 

Why were those dudes just watching them? Also bye @ Cheekbones' slide down the wall. Deleet this show from existence. 

*doesn't know how to feel emotions so just gets mad gassy when stuff happens* *pauses show to go on amazon and look up skidmark cleaners* *realizes nothing is called a "skidmark cleaner" and gets upset that I wasted dignity points searching that up and now the FBI has me on the "special" list, and for what? 4 naught. The skidmarks remain.* *Skidmarks On My Heart should be an album title I think Tyrese should steal this idea* *or Tank* *any nigga from TGT* *only Ginuwine is left* *Elgin Lumpkin, I mean* *oh my g...*

Girl, me!

Bitch, PLEEEEEEEEEASSSSSE!

I am so tired of Bangs she is so ugly and negative and petty and needs to fucking get over some shit that happened in fucking high school. Fucking weirdo. And Venus never even did anything to her! This bitch is delusional! She's mad cuz of two things:

1. Venus set her up on that date with the dude who dragged her and told her she was too fat and ugly to be out in public or whatever. This nigga told Bangs that Venus only set her up because she pitied her. Like, whatever! If she and Venus were so best friends forever wouldn't she know that Venus wasn't even like that? Now, if my friend set me up on some blind date I would feel some type of way about it just because that's some shit I don't like (I don't have any friends). But Bangs seemed excited about being set up and only became upset when the nigga dragged her to hell and fucking back. Bangs should know Venus was only looking out for her best and would never have set her up with that nigga if she knew he was like that, so spare me with holding a grudge over that shit for like fifteen years bitch r u nuts?!?!

2. Bangs had a crush on some radio DJ or something and Venus knew that. Bangs sees Venus getting the digits from the nigga and so for fifteenfuckingyears this bitch is feeling salty that Venus got the diggies from that nigga eventho Venus had a boyfriend and never dated that dude???? Also, if you were feelin' some type of way about it, why you aint address it with Venus instead of holding that shit in forever? Especially because if you would have asked her about it, she would have told you that was simply a business-related conversation, nothing more! I can't deal with Bangs she is so fucking annoying and immature. You're a successful, not fat anymore bitch now, GET YOUR LIFE, HO! GET! YOUR! LIFE!! GATHER IT UP, BITCH!! 

No, don't try to make Tap Tap a thing. Don't even do that.

I hate this show. Also, what is John wearing??

This nigga is knitting...

But anyway, it's really sad John's mom died :( His dad is mad unemotional and he was so alone for so long :((

I was making fun of John crying :/

Random chalkasian speaking jarring English.

Oh...lol. This was when Orange Hair Chef's husband was talking about being at an amusement park or some shit with their fat son and he said he was carrying him on his shoulders and Orange Hair was like "You didn't die?" and this dude said how he almost broke his neck and I'm just dead to the bed at all the fat jokes and fat shaming in this show can't stop won't stop

Me as a grandma.

Me as a boyfriend

Also, Venus getting choked up at his texts. That's so me please ugh. 

Back off Venus' man you dusty, thirsty thot!!

Alladis. Deleet it.

YO DID THEY FUCK?!?!? Talkin bout sum "warm night"!!!!!

BUT I'M DECEASED AT JOHN PULLING AWAY AND THEN THE SHOW JUST CUT OFF!! Or dissolved away. You know how dramatic and all soap operay k drama episode endings be with the twinkling sounds or swelling violins or whatever and then the soft-focus freeze frame of characters' faces I can't wait to start watching a new one sigh please release me