The Incredible Jessica James (2017)

Logged onto Netflix Friday planning to rewatch 30 Rock and crush on my thic bae Jack Donaghy when I see a banner for The Incredible Jessica James and don't care about anything on it but the little head of my #actingbae Keith Stanfield (or is it LaKeith? He's weird, I can tell now.), so I immediately watch it. Like, and not for the RIGHT reason. Jessica Williams is a black woman like me and LOOK! she's starring in a film, so that should be my reason but it wasn't. Sigh, at least I didn't watch for Chris O'Dowd. Like, AT LEAST I HAVE NEVER CARED ABOUT CHRIS O'DOWD. I mean, he's fine. But IT Crowd was all about Moss and what else have I seen Chris in? Uhhh Bridesmaids? That was all about literally everyone else. So.

What am I doing please send assistance. Anyway, Incredible Jessica is about some chick named Jessica James and it opens with her on a date with some scared white dude she met off Tinder, I think? Do people really do dating apps like that? Every time I hear about these things I just get concerned for these people like aren't you afraid to be murdered or AIDS? Lol, idk maybe I'm too scary. BUT LIKE that white dude met Jessica on Tinder and decided to meet up with her and then he does and she is going the fuck in on him when all he wanted was to get some puss and maybe a grilled cheese. So people SHOULD be more concerned for themselves, smh. Like!! 

Anyway, Jessica...just broke up with her bae Damon, played by LaKeither. So...she's a mess. A part of me felt Jessica was doing entirely too much being all in this white dude's face with her fucking septum piercing. And she was mad rude base telling him she was only there because she knows her ex would be at the bar and she wanted to...make him jealous or some shit? Idk, but she's truly awful. Lol, like...right? She was mad...like annoying and just awful. LOOK, I AM AWFUL TOO so I am not judging but it was...a lot. And I don't even know if we as the audience are even supposed to be thinking that so just some squinty eye ionoboutalladis from me and now let's move on.

WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHEN DAMON WALKED IN WITH SOME HOMELY ASIAN CHICK ON HIS ARM AND JESSICA WAS ALL GEEZUS SHE'S HOT???? Uhhhhhhhhhh lol. Idk if it's cuz Jessica is from Ohio or she only hangs out with Noël Wells and some eleven year old kids or what but...girl, no.

So blah blah things don't work out with that white dude she was dragging for filth. Shame. Soooo Jessica is talking about her dating woes to her friend White Girl and how she misses Damon or whatever so her "friend" hooks her up with some dude she BARELY KNOWS. All she knows is that he's a recent divorcé. Girl........wheht??? WHO!!! Hooks up their friend with some old white dude who JUST got dumped by his wife? Smfh...

So Jessica goes on some date with Chris O'Dowd from Family Tree which no one watched but was funny, and she is...so completely rude and...like kind of giving me Aspergers teas or something?? Oh, also Jessica is like super-obsessed with theater (Don't care?) annnnd she works with a bunch of cute little kids in some...cute little kids theater program. Chris asks Jessica on their date how she pays rent and she responds that's her job and he is like how do u pay rent lol. And she says she lives deep Bushwick or whatever, but like, what does that theater program pay? Or, how? Didn't she say it was a non-profit?? I lowkey hate when I watch shows with young people in the city and they have some random ass job and their own apartment with no roommate. She wasn't living in like some big ass Friends-style bungalow or whatever..but cum on. Does this job even exist? Maybe but I don't think so. So here I am squinting my eyes, yet again. I do have astigmatism..

So Jessica's date with whatever his name is imma just call him Chris as a sign of disrespect, is naught gewd. However they go home together and fuck (maybe just oral). Do people........do this? This is why Usher has herpes, like we've got to be more discerning. Also, who just goes up to some white dude's house? Some white dude you barely know? I just assume every white dude is either 1. Patrick Bateman 2. Jeff Dahms or 3. Shia LaBeouf. I'm not not going inside anywhere or up some stairs with them, but Jessica said she was six feet tall so maybe she wasn't too worried.

Blahblahblah what happens? Jessica is writing some play and I think keeps getting distracted thinking about Damon? Was it weird how...she kinda made it seem he dumped her when she dumped him? I don't understand obsessing over a dude you dropped. She said she was upset because he didn't "fight" for the relationship and Damon (in her imagination??) was like...but we were already in a relationship. I don't even know if I want to put energy into agreeing with that because I believe after he said that maybe a piano fell on him?? Or?? Sigh, idk. I just don't know. Anyway, Jessica keeps getting plays rejected. Lol I've submitted plays before. I had one ~produced~ but it was some coonery, so let's move on. But just know: nothing matters.

At some point Jessica goes home to her family in Ohio. I related maybe to like...that distant feeling. Though I'm not one of those who ~*~escaped to the Big App~ to get away from them, but most just cuz I'm lazy. I guess...when we meet Jessica's family we're supposed to see she kind of rejects...Ohio (who doesn't??), annnnd like her sister having a kid young and being all loved up. Jessica has HIGHER ASPIRATIONS. SHE WILL WRITE PLAYS LIKE SARAH JAMES. There's a bit where all her fam is sitting around watching some shitty romcom all loved up I guess and Jess gets in her feelings? Why idk, but it was real funny when she dragged that duncey white broad for pretending to eat poop outta diaper, and that's all I got from that.

Jessica also has some big writing workshop she's trying to do with her theater students. Can we talk about her harassing that one girl (extremely cute, btw) who initially couldn't go to the workshop because it was her dad's weekend with her and her bro and he was taking them to Six Flags? It was awkward at best how hard Jessica was going for this. Like, getting all involved in the divorce drama of that girl's parents and not respecting that the girl might care more about spending time with her dad than being bougie with Jessica at some theater retreat?? It was just hella tone deaf and it was getting kinda scary lol like who let this broad be around children?? Idk but I did like their scenes and I loved that little ~diverse, ethnic mix~ of children. They were cute as hell so imma just ignore all that weird stuff Jessica would be doing with them :') 

Can we talk about that weird Instagram stalking sideplot? No. But I thought it was funny how Damon had like three followers. Very me. Anyway, blah blah Chris fucks his wife, Jess...weirdly..CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SHE FORCED HERSELF UP TO HIS APARTMENT THAT ONE TIME WHEN HE WAS LIKE WE SHOULD TAKE IT SLOW???? UHHHHHH. Can you imagine a dude doing that? Jessica is giving me anti-hero at best here lol, idk girl...

Blahblah the kids put on their plays. Somewhere in here Noël Wells is forced upon me yet again (Master of None war flashbacks) and I have to sit and pretend that her and Jessica's false ass friendship means anything to me. Jessica was tighter with that little girl from her theater class. Shoulda gave her the vibrator, imo, but she was already pushing her luck with that one, so nvm.

Overall I thought this was funnyish and was entertained mostly and I like Jessica Williams eventho her character was highly questionable?? Like I know I was complaining a lot (it's all I do), but I was into it. Definitely needed more LaKeither, but what doesn't? Hold on, though, because I heard this was supposed to be a TV show? Or maybe I just heard Jessica Williams had a TV deal. I hope. I feel like she has "IT". I've definitely been looking for this from the newer up and coming black actresses and I feel like she is def one I want to see in a bunch of stuff. She's been pretty successful so it kinda looks like she'll keep going at an incline, which I'm excited about. I definitely want a TV show, but mabe something different from this. Or maybe the same? Like Broadchurch or whatever, but with some black chicks. Wait, what is--BROAD CITY! Lol, smh. Anyway, make a black Broadchurch with Jessica, don't play games with me.

You Get Me (2017)

A part of me wonders why this movie exists. Like, why it was made. There's something weird and inappropriate-seeming about it being a thing. It has this like weird ass squeaky-clean Disney vibe, but is also the entire plot of Fatal Attraction. Very strange. But is this exactly the type of movie I like to watch on-purpose because I know it will be really freaking stupid and give me a nice, hearty laugh deep in my bones? Yes, and that's one of my top 5 favorite movie genres, so I'm not gonna complain too much. I am glad it exists, it just feels...like kind of illegal, and like I want to question the people behind the movie. Like who pitched/wrote/produced it. What's their deal? But just like I pretend the deep web doesn't exist because I'm scared, imma act like these people are normal and nice and fine and keep it moving and mind my fucking business :)

So alright, the movie stars a bunch of milk teeth white kids and they are so Hollister 2007 I can't breathe. The only one who sort of deviates from the white teeth teen aesthetic is Bella Thorne, who plays the crazy, psycho slut bitch or whatever. Bella Thorne looks mad dirty lol. This is bad to say she's mad young but every time I see her, she just looks gross. I've never seen her in anything before this so all I knew about her was from being weird on social media. I def feel like I am too old to know about this person. But there was a time I had no idea who she was. It wasn't until pretty recently I had any idea. I remember seeing all these write-ups and like pap photos of this chick and being like...who is this? I aged out of Disney shit like before even High School Musical came out, so I don't know these current corny freaks and I feel glad, but I am def annoyed I know who Bella is now. Well, not know, really. But I saw she was dissed by like Scott Disick on a yacht or something and will someone thrash me against the underside of a cliff many times, once and for all, so this can all stop happening? Thanks.

Bells was perf cast as the crazy psycho stalker bitch. The Kidz Bop Glenn Close, I guess (no). The main white boy is named Tyler (DUH) and he's new in town (WHO CARES) and he meets this JC Penney catalog model named Alison. It's true luv or whatever. Tyler has a friend played by one of those youtube boys (why are his eyes so close together?) named Who Cares, who sees Alison and is all like to Tyler ~don't mess this up, bro~~~~. Literally in the next scene Tyler is spazzing out because some dude Alison used to fuck or date is making these gross comments about her to Tyler. The dude making the comments is mad ugly lol Tyler shoulda just paid it dust. But he start going off on Alison or whatever. It's just like embarrassing high school shit. 

Tyler leaves the party because him and Alison get into a fight. I can't remember if she asks him to leave or whatever it doesn't even remotely matter. Tyler goes outside and fucking Bella, playing some greasy thot named Holly, is waiting for him outside in her car. Oh, I forgot he met her in line for the bathroom earlier. Redflag for me would've been when she was talking about how she got stood-up at the party. Is it just me or is that mad embarrassing and not something you just openly talk about? Idk, I don't date, but that's not something I would think is a cute little anecdote, I would think it would make me look like something was off about me lol, but maybe I'm projecting because RIGHT AWAY Holly looks crazy. Idk if it's her strong jawline, or twelve pounds of makeup or what, but I woulda slapped a Hazmat suit on immediately after meeting ol' girl and never take it off again until I heard she was dead and buried with cement poured on top. But that's just me. 

Tyler doesn't really question why Holly is outside the party in some expensive ass car. Is it just me or do these White Teeth Teen movies and TV shows always have these literal kids looking extra grown? Bella looking like somebody's thirty year old, junkie stepmom in that grown ass car, and Tyler big as shit. The only ones who looked actual teeny were Nash and ol' girl who played Alison, but also Alison had on what seemed like a weird amount of makeup sometimes? Like kind of pageanty almost? And that Asian chick looked like their fucking mom. Am I being hyperbolic? NO!!!!! 

So Holly is like HOP IN! or whatever. Why does Tyler just go with her? It sucks that dudes usually never have to worry about getting murdered when they hop in cars with literal strangers. (Well, this case is a bad example spoiler alert, but you know what I mean!). Holly is like ~I want to show you something~~~~~~ and Tyler is like uh doyyyyy where are we going~?~?~?. Holly takes him to some big ugly mansion and they start fucking because of course. I'm confused, because does not Tyler have a girlfriend? Y'all have one fight and you right away fucking someone else? Even if you thought you broke up, wouldn't you think, if you loved Alison so much, there would be a great chance for reconciliation? I get these are TeEnS, but come on. 

WHAT DISTURBED ME MOST about Tyler having some like fuckcation at the manse with Holly was that the movie made it seem like he was the primary caretaker for his little sister??? Right??? UMMMMM DON'T YOU NEED TO CHECK IN CONCERNING WHO'S LOOKING AFTER HER AND WHAT NOT?? I get it was the mom's ultimate responsibility, but the movie def made it seem he looked after his sister while she was at work, which he intimidated she did a lot. The movie def glossed over that so Tyler could be rolling around with Holly like they were the only two people left in the world and everyone had died and they aint have shit else to do, but okay!  

For some reason, Holly acts like she's just house sitting for that mansion, when we find out later she lives there with her stepmom. I don't know why she lies. She says she lives somewhere else (I forget where who cares), but is like oh maybe I'll move here permanently so we can be together. Lol, too bad Tyler eventually peaces out and disses her stupid ass with like some condescending forehead kiss and a This Was Fun, but best be going. Like, it was clear he had no plans to ever see her again and I was fucking cackling.

Okay, so of course first day of school new year, Holly is there as a new student. Sucks, because him and Alison got back together (it literally took one like five second convo for them to clear everything up smfh) (oh btw Alison revealed to Tyler she used to let the entire lacrosse team run a train on her or whatever at her old school and she did marijuana tablets every day I guess so she moved to where they are to start over so she's a follower and a loser lowkey so some foreshadowing on that ass right there). Tyler acting all shook because he sees Holly. She literally sits her ginger ass next to him in some science class they have and tries to act all easy breezy. Then later Tyler is chillin' with his friends and bae in the caf and I think Nash brings Holly to the table like LOOK NEW STUDENT, NEW MEMBER OF THE SQUAD. 

Wait, hold up. 

Is this a white people thing? They literally immediately induct Holly into their squad. They don't take a second to vet this bitch. They're RIGHT AWAY making plans to hang out. ...You don't even know her?? What the fuck? Is this just weird to me? This how that Asian end up getting poisoned, BUT I'M SKIPPING AHEAD!! 

So Holly hanging out with Tyler and his crew, cozying all up and shit. Tyler getting his panties in a bunch. Oh, I forgot before they started hanging, Tyler sent a text to Holly, telling her to meet him in some secret, creepy place. Of course Holly thinks it's to fuck (why??), but Tyler is like lol no, stop being creepy and don't fucking tell Alison we ever hooked up. Holly get all crazy and mad, saying she promises she'll make Tyler regret...idk, rejecting her or whatever. I have two things: 

1. When did Tyler get Holly's #? I don't remember him asking for it when he left her house? This is an important detail for me to know, like he clearly didn't care about ever really knowing her like that or talking to her ever again, but okay, movie.

2. Why does Holly...feel entitled to anything from Tyler? I get she's crazy, so it's dumb to be asking questions like that, but it's just weird she's all hella upset. Okay, he pumped and dumped. That is sort of rude. People treat sex way too casually, but I'm not going to get on my midget pony about it. He is saying No Thanks, so she should accept it and keep it moving. But if she did we wouldn't have this gloriously terrible movie, so maybe I should hush.

So whatever, Holly hanging with Ty and his crew and he looking like he wanna throw up every second. You know what was weird? When Holly was randomly, intensely making out with Sid from Toy Story. Alison was looking like Lol okay. Who wouldn't be mad disturbed by that? It was really weird. WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY NEVER HUNG OUT WITH THE ASIAN OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL?? Lol she was prob too busy doing, you know, her actual fucking homework and not hanging out on the beach with weird, druggie looking thots, but I digress!!!!

Fast-forward, though, to that Asian expressing suspicion concerning Holly. I should....really learn her name. Grace? I took one second to look it up, so maybe? Sure. Grace. Grace is having a private convo with Alison, saying she thinks something is weird about ol' girl. Holly overhears, so poisons Grace's smoothie. Literally, Holly gets smoothies for Grace and Alison (later Grace says how this was the first time she'd ever gotten it for them), and like right after her first sip she's hemorrhaging on the ground having an allergic reaction. Holly wasn't even subtle with it. 

Doesn't Tyler like right away suspect Holly of having done something? He doesn't get a real confirmation until later, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt until he talks to Grace, but once he does, why doesn't he report Holly? She literally tried to kill Grace. Lol, uhhhhh. At the very least, why didn't he take this opportunity to open up to Alison about the truth (because it wasn't that serious), and let her know Holly was a danger? Tyler was being a simp ass loser this entire movie. Like are you seriously letting all this shit go down because you smashed and dashed on a chick? You're not about this life, and should've stayed in your lane, but I guess it's too late for all that now.

I just don't understand why you would continue to allow her to keep going around your girl when you know she's a danger and insane. What are you doing?? So of course Holly ends up kidnapping Alison (what is going on) and trying to kill her or some crazy mess. I forgot how...Tyler finds out Holly is tryna harm Alison. Maybe she calls him? Sure. But once Tyler gets the call, what does he do?? He calls...Nash Grier. He..................................

He calls Nash...Gr...i..e    r...

?????

WHY?! CALL THE COPS!!!!! HOLLY IS TRYING TO KILL SOMEONE!!!,! HIS DUMB ASS CALLS NASH'S EYES TWO CLOSE TOGETHER LOOKING ASS AND IS LIKE GO TO THE HOUSE AND I'LL MEET YOU THERE OR WHATEVER!! LOL ARE YOU KIDDING? WHATCHALL FINNA DO?????????????? THEN TYLER GO THERE AND THIS CRAZY THOT KILLING HER STEPMOM AND SHIT AND HANGING BITCHES FROM THE CEILING. ALL THIS OVER SOME PAPER-WHITE PENIS???! BITCH, R U SRS?!?!?!?!,

AND TELL ME WHY NASH ASS AINT EVEN DO ANYTHING??! DIDN'T HE SHOW UP AND IMMEDIATELY GET SHOT? Lol. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong, but I'm pretty sure he was useless and the one who ultimately took down Holly was Alison. All of this was extremely CW. The movie was amusing, though, I'd def recommend it. Lifetime for Gen Z Teens or whatever. Wait, why did I watch this...?? .....

:/

   

All Eyez on Me (2017)

Hmmm. Maybe I liked this? I'm only a fan of Tupac, the Actor and all I really know about him is that he was good and I'm annoyed he's dead because he could've been a major movie star. But like I don't know all about his life, too much of what he was about (had no idea Thug Lyfe was some insane acronym), or really anything about his music. I knew he was the baby of a militant Black Panther member, so I assumed certain things, and then also I've seen him in interviews and things, but only when I was younger, so whatever significant messages I was meant to receive went right over my head. I have always been Team Tupac concerning the whole Biggie vs Tupac thing. Why? Mostly because Pac was cuter lol. And Biggie gave me bad vibes when I was a kid. But maybe that was just Diddy hovering over him stealing his soul. Anyway, all this mostly incomprehensible mess is to say...I watched All Eyez on Me and I wasn't offended lol like I would think...anyone who knew Tupac personally, or even a die hard fan of his would be. This was definitely a kind of...Starter Biopic, you know? Like, for people who knew of this famous man named Tupac and were interested and would like some tea and also some basic background filled in. I can't imagine a Tupac stan would watch this movie having gained new insight, but maybe they would get something out of...getting to see him alive again, but like in some lesser, not as magnetic form? 

Speaking of Great Value versions of superior shit. So Demetrius Shipp Jr!! Kind of sometimes looked exactly like Tupac and also captured his essence occasionally. Like when he was talking to those two white dudes at Interscope, I was really forgetting I wasn't watching actual Tupac. And there were several other moments sprinkled throughout where I would forget it wasn't really him. But there were a lot of times where it was like...lol. You know? Like, this is so not Tupac. Also Demetrius has a rounder face. Like, Tupac was fine as shit and kind of chiseled face-wise. Also what I've always thought about him was that he looked older than his age. Like Tupac only lived twenty-five years but he died looking like some dude who lived almost twice that. Demetrius had this little baby face that kind of took me out of the film at times. Like, he looked like an actor they'd get for those reenactments they do for true crime/ID type shows. Like just some goofy goober version of the actual person. Lol especially when he had hair. Smh. All in all, though--wait, I was about to lowkey praise Demetrius for doing a mostly good job, but I almost felt he ruined the big Bishop moment in Juice. Maybe it wasn't him, per say, but the director choosing to show a close-up of Demetrius as Tupac doing Bishop. That was a mistake, and Juice is such a huge thing for me lol and Bishop is iconic so maybe don't ever do that again :') But I think Demetrius did a good job? But again I wouldn't consider myself a Tupac stan even though I loved him as an actor. Like, I'm detached from his whole big thing, so maybe people who were more passionate about him would heartily disagree lol.

You know who I thought was kind of good but did not at all think they would be? Kat Graham. I really felt she was capturing Jada's essence at times? When I first heard who was cast as Mrs. Pinkett-Smith, I was like...Lol... You know? Like Kat looks nothing like her lol. HOWEVER, watching the whole performance in motion, I was kind of getting into her. Kat isn't so amazing she was able to convince me she looked like Jada, but I was seeing some Jada in there. She's a pretty specific person, I think, and I think Kat was really trying to nail it and was mostly successful, so that was cool. Okay so now let's get into juicy gossip and let's discuss Jada and Tupac. 

I just accept Jada as a lesbian, so like, I won't get too into Why didn't she and Tupac ever get together. You know? Like, maybe there was this huge roadblock called NOT INTERESTED IN DICK. I do wonder...how Jada ended up with someone like Will. But maybe she wanted...something kind of different from what she was. I get the impression Jada was kind of wild back in the day. I think she admitted this herself, so this isn't mostly me being all dishy or whatever. But...also I hear stuff about her daughter writing a letter talking about how Jada is so sad Tupac is dead and she wishes he would come back so her mother could be happy and I just wonder what that relationship was. It's barely touched on in the film. Ultimately, did Tupac friend-zone Jada? lol no it's not funny, but did he?? Did she him?? This movie did not give me all the tea I required. BUT I HEARD JADA'S BOUT TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HIM SO IT'S BOUT TO BE EXTRA LITTY ANNNNNNNNDDDDDD I WISH I WASN'T LIKE THIS :')

Can we talk about Tupac just glossing over misogyny??? Lol I was hoping for a clear answer from him even if I disagreed with it, but he gave me nothing. The reporter dude asked him about those civil rights old heads denouncing his music because it was "obscene", but it was clearly, specifically, the women, who were obviously against the bitches and hoes type of thing. Tupac was all, Don'T Go On TV & Talk Shit Until You Discuss With Us First. No offense, but first of all: Who are you? Why do they need to do that? And why would they if they feel you have no respect for them? Like I love Tupac, but like extremely hesitantly because he seems whack concerning women. Maybe I shouldn't love him lol. He's so magnetic please!! 

So like what was all that rape shit?? So the movie--LOL OKAY!! No, it's not funny because it's a serious subject matter, BUT LOOK. Look. The movie expects me to believe that while some groupie thottie was giving Tupac a back rub, he deaded it in the middle and decided to go sleep in another room? And then all of a sudden out of nowhere this broad is bursting into his room claiming those other dudes did something to her and it's Pac's fault for leaving her with them?? I don't necessarily believe Tupac raped anyone because I don't get those vibes from him. Now he absolutely could have and fuck vibes lol, I'm just saying that I'm not saying he did anything. It's just this story sounds really fucking stupid. If he really wasn't feeling ol' girl why did he accept the massage at first? Like wasn't she lowkey stalking and harassing him? YOU KNOW. This story could be completely true because Tupac seemed lowkey stupid. Like really smart, but like a lot of really smart people, they often have these major blindspots in ~common sense~ areas?? Like he would still be alive if he was more mediocre-brained and his intelligence was more evened out, jus sayin'. Like why would you link up with Nigel and those dudes? Is it that the movie did not explain this well, or was Tupac just wildly...not street smart? Like he was just some dorky theater kid and was WAY over his head dealing with real street people. It's sad as hell.

So who killed Pac? Pretty sure it was Diddy, but let's just say it was this Nigel dude. Why? Because Pac called him a hanger-on? Um, you were? Also why did Pac have to do time for just being associated with you? But Pac shoulda just realized his mistake fucking with them, did his time, and then come out completely removed from that. He was always talking shit lol and then also he signed with Shug and I don't understand...why. Why wasn't Tupac thinking of starting his own thing way sooner? Couldn't he have put out his own shit and had just as much success? Did he really need the ~protection~? Like couldn't he have just separated himself from all that shit he was doing before he went to prison? Idk, man! I'm just mad he's dead :( Hope he wasn't a rapist :/

Can we talk about that Snoop voice-over shit?!?!?!?!?!?!,!, WHYYY!! So funny omg. So...fucking out of place. I felt like I was watching BET (NEVER A GOOD THING). It was so funny tho lowkey I loved it lol. Also I appreciated a character in the film I could truly relate to. Snoop's blasé skinny ass with that fro talking bout he homies with everyone. So me. Like, butter my bread on both sides, thank you! Lol @ him getting that knife when he was on the plane. Iconic, and VERY ME. It's so funny how Snoop is still alive when he was playing both sides like that during such a charged time. Iconic nonchalantry. 

Okay so acting stand-outs? I want to say Danai Gurira, but lowkey I felt she was doing the most lol. Like a sketch comedy impression of Viola Davis. I was like...child. But at the same time she lit up the screen, and my ass loves ott acting, so I'm not gonna complain lol. Cory Hardrict was good as the mysterious Nigel. When he told that dude to never get in his face again or he'd bite his nose off I was already preparing his Academy Award speech in my head for him. Greatest performance of 2017. I also loved...randomly, Pinky from Friday After Next lol no learn his name, Thurston Charles or some shit (Clifton Powell smh). Soon as he showed up at the prison I was excited. It was like a whole different movie lol he was barely in it but it kind of wrongly highlighted how maybe this movie isn't...good?

NOOOO!! It's okay lol. It's okay. I enjoyed it. I didn't think I would because I had read some reviews and most of them were frowny face. This was being compared to Str8 Outta Compton and...that movie is def better. But not by too much, so everyone calm down. The beginning of the movie was very shitty lol. Then once Tupac is older it starts to pick up, but it still had these cheesy ass Zoom vibes or something. I just watched that New Edition miniseries and this...this was pretty in-line with that lol and...like, that's a TV movie, so... But I saw All Eyez in theaters and a lot of times I regret seeing a movie in theaters, like, I coulda waited to see this shit on Netflix. But I don't regret paying to see this on the big screen and so I think that's a thumbs up review from me (this isn't a good movie lol). It was entertaining and I didn't know too much about Tupac's life, so it gave me some knowledge crumbs. I'm a sucker for biopics, though, so I might be biased. Also I love Juice and Poetic Justice and that movie he did with Tim Roth and Thandie Newton and now I have to see Above the Rim. You know what this movie also did? It kind of made me want to listen to Tupac's music? I'm not too into rap. I listen to like...three rap people and all of them make my ass itch in various ways. Would Tupac's? He has ~conscious~ music, but I don't give a fuck about that shit lol. But then he has weird shit like "California Love" which I wanna bop to, but also it gives me fraudulent teas. Why is your child of a Black Panther, from NY and Baltimore ass making music like this?? Is that an unfair criticism? Whatever I'm finna go stream it.