Str8 Outta Compton (2015)

So I've never cared about anyone depicted in this film, barring Tupac. No Whites Allowed was out when I was like a baby, I think. They were over by the time I was a kid. The only member who was on my radar was Ice Cube due to Friday and other movies, but I never cared about his acting with the exception of his performance in Boyz n the Hood. 

N.W.A to me was Eazy. I never knew anything about them. I just saw Eazy and his jheri curl. I thought he was the Beyoncé of the group and then Cube was...Kelly? And Dre was the other one. I swear to gawd before watching this movie I had no idea there were other N.W.A members beyond Eazy, Cube and Dre. This is how little I know or care about N.W.A, so when this movie first came out I was interested solely because I like biopics, but I was in no rush to see it.  

But finally I did and I'm so glad! Or...hmm, maybe that exclamation point was a bit overkill; also saying so glad. It's a bit much. But I did enjoy myself, and honestly I wasn't expecting it lol come on let's get serious. 

So the casting was pretty amazing, no? Truly, O'Shea Jackson and Jason Mitchell were iconic? I have to give it to Jason Mitchell the most out of everyone, he was so good. He don't even look like Eazy, but I was reading on some forum someone said he like completely embodied Eazy's essence and spirit and I totally agree. Which is wild lol, as I know nothing about Eazy-E, but I feel I could sense his spirit, and Jason painted that exactly. Definitely excited to see more from him in the future. 

O'Shea. lol. I was reading someone said he read his lines like he was slow and, again, I completely agree lol, but I also thought he was exactly his father. But if he would've fucked up this performance it would have highkey been a mess lol you've been known this nigga for twenty-some years, so, that's a lot of time to study. He did a good job. He also made me be interested in Ice Cube, which I definitely initially was very much not? Like, one, I had no idea Ice Cube wrote. Again, this is how little I know or care. But I also was impressed by his...convictions? And I liked how he questioned everything. I'm sure Cube was portrayed in as good of a light as they could get, so I don't want to stan too hard lest I find out he's some huge prick, but I did like how he was portrayed in the film, and it made me feel respect for him. 

Corey Hawkins...was less impressive. First of all, his acting in the scene after Dre finds out his brother was killed, was almost abysmal. This nigga 'sposed to be crying, I saw NO TEARS. lol, overall this performance was pretty whack, and this nigga don't even look like Dr. Dre. Kinda missed the mark with this, though I ultimately did buy him as Dre. However, thumbs down at the movie for making Dr. Dre seem like all he did was make beats and mind his business. I've heard a lot of things about this fool, so, um, doubt it. 

lol, the dude who played Suge Knight...was both bad and good? lol, don't know how to explain. He seemed too small physically? Though I'm not sure how big Suge Knight actually is, so maybe it was accurate. But also the guy was giving me like Moroccan or Arab teas occasionally lol. But I thought he captured Suge's sugeness. I'd watch a whole movie about Suge, though I'm sure its dark energy would make me have to watch a bunch of cartoons afterwards, or youtube videos where people eat 50,000 calories in a day. No, that is also dark-sided. Two darks don't make a light. Don't ever make that mistake again. 

Anyway! OMG MY BAE LAKEITH! Is it Keith or LaKeith?? Idk, but he is kabae. (please take my life away). lol, literally Keith had 0.06 seconds of screen time, but he was UHmazing. #actingbae. I remember thinking he gave Snoop Dogg teas before ever finding out he was in this, so spot-on casting imo. He did the voice and alladat. I was living for his -.02 seconds of screen time. Scene stealer with two lines bae. Oh, also the dude who played Tupac? Um, amazing? Sigh I can't wait til this 2pac biopic comes out. It better be lit or imma be pissed. 

Giamatti was good as Jerry Heller. Giamatti's always good. That's lowkey bae. (Don't wanna talk about it!!!). I couldn't decide from the film if Jerry was really screwing them over. I mean, I guess? He's white so prob. Let's skip over that and talk about how the movie made it seem like he was in love with Eazy?? I'd buy it. lol when Eazy fired him he was acting like this nigga asked for a divorce. It was very emotional. But never do those lacefront cornrows again. Never!! 

What else did I care about? Oh, No Vaseline. That shit was iconic? Like okay Ice Cube, go awf lol. Side-eye @ Heller for only gettin' hype about the "anti-Semitic" bit. I loved that scene, though, how the b-girls or whatever were nodding their heads and enjoying the song lol. How everyone was, really. Then Eazy saying how they were gonna get in the studio and come back harder and then DJ Yellowstone National Park or whatever was like "probably not" or some shit. Iconic.  

Anyway this movie was really good and it almost made me want to check out some of the music. But alas, I am a black female human, so I doubt I won't be extremely offended and disgusted lol, so, I'll pass :') Might snatch up "No Vaseline", though. It's mad homophobic maybe, but also lit? But also super-gay, effectively cancelling out the homophobia and making it okay to consume. What does Ice Cube know about Vaseline, hmm? *sips Capri Sun* sus.   

By the Sea (2015)

Ummmmmm. The assumption would be that this film is about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's marriage, with some details changed to throw you off from thinking this is exactly about their marriage. Like Brad's character being a writer (l o fucking l!!!!), or Jolie's character being barren.

What I def believe about both of them is that Brad is a drunk, and Jolie pops pills. Is it all trashy to be speculating about how the characters in the movie's lives parallel to their own? Um, yes. But also I'm pretty sure this is what Jolie and her male husband want: for people to speculate. It's not even really interesting, though. Not even with them recently separating, it's like, this isn't 2005. Or even 2010. Oh wow, I know the year.

Anyway, this movie was...pretty dumb? It was like extra-lame? Oh, Vanessa can't have kids, so? She and her husband? Act like they used to be sewn together in a human centipede? And are still SHOOK from the experience?? When really they just can't have kids, and it's like, hello, ADOPTION?? Like it's weird Angelina Jolie of all people would even write something like this (did she? smh idk 2 lazy 2 check). Or, maybe this was done to mock people who don't adopt, or like an anti-adopters psa or some shit idk.

What likely happened was Angelina saw Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? on TCM late one night, and she was all like, this is so me and Brad, and now we have By the Sea. I was def getting Who's Afraid teas all throughout the movie, with the not being able to have kids thing, and then bringing this ~fresh~ younger couple into the mix to "ruin" them. LIKE THIS WAS A STRAIGHT UP RIP-OFF OF WHO'S AFRAID? Or, cough, a ~homage~. 

I wouldn't even care if the movie was actually good. It is not. Which is disappointing, because I enjoy both Jolie and Pitt as actors, and a movie about their very high profile relationship, which is clearly a mess, should be really interesting, no? No. It's not. They just have regular ass problems, and I am entirely over it.

Obviously their exact real-life problems are not depicted in the film, however I am annoyed that the substitute problems given to Angelina and Brad's surrogates in the film were so lame. Like, oh. Roland wrote one good book and has sucked ever since. Congrats, you're Hank Moody.

Then Vanessa and her grief manifesting as intimacy issues, like all a woman has to snatch away is the puss and everything comes to a halt. It's like true, misogynistic, and empowering all in one? Never thee mind, for the main thing it is is tired. And then her spying on Lea and François through that hole in the wall. Tired. They're just some regular white people having regular white people sex but they have French accents, so I guess it's turnt? Bleh. And then Vanessa tryna smash François to ruin his and Lea's relationship. Lame, but let's be honest, François's French ass went on a vacation somewhere separate from his wife on his own honeymoon. He could probably happily ruin his relationship on his own, thanx. 

You know the one thing I liked? How Roland kept turning over Vanessa's glasses. It was kind of obvious and contrived, but the intimacy of it sort of overshadowed that, I think. To me, that was the realest thing here in this overall very sort of phony depiction of love and relationships. A movie made up of all sorts of ideas like the turning over of the sunglasses, would have been much better, instead of this sort of cowardly, shy ass Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? rehash. Brad & Ang, just set up a camera in your house and let it roll. That would have been worth something, By the Sea is not. I'd still recommend a watch obviously if you like Brad + Angie, which I do. Def don't expect anything good though, and you'll be fine! :')

After (2012)

So Sky High bae Steven Strait and Karolina Wydra (¿?) play two strangers on a bus, named Freddy and Ana. Freddy tries to chat Ana up. He does some shitty drawing of her. Ana is mad disgusted, as she should be. She's all "...Do you mind, I am trying to journal?". At some point in this awkward approach, Freddy and Ana discover they're from the same town and live on the same street. Freddy is all "WHAT HOUSE DO YOU LIVE IN???". Ana is mad creeped out, as she should be, and Freddy is like nvm, but suggests he and Ana go get coffee sometime. It's mad awkward because she obvi wishes he were dead. Thankfully, the bus crashes.

Ana wakes up late for work. She's getting ready and she discovers she has hairy armpits. WOW. OMG, SEW WËRD. Look, movie: Don't ever try to imply someone has maybe been in a coma for a long time through fucking armpit hair length. Some bitches don't shave. This is a too fucking lazy 2 shave suck the matted lint out of my tangled armpit hairs blog, thank you! 

So whatever lol, fast-forward to weird shit happening. Like, oh, the town is completely abandoned. Ana doesn't find another sign of life until she runs into Freddy. Or, she hears him playing music mad loud in his house and breaks in?? Something like that.

So it's just the two of them. Basically they were in a bus accident... I think everyone else on the bus died but they were the only survivors? Ana is in a coma. She has to figure out how to get through the enclosing fog, or else she dies on the other side. Like if the black fog encompasses them, she dies in her coma. 

  

Before Ana and Freddy figured out all the tea, I felt they were under-reacting. There's literally no one around. They can't leave this town because it's enclosed by a mass of fog. Oh, and Ana ran into her dead aunt and a fucking younger version of herself that was blonde, and didn't have a Polish accent smh. I mean... I don't know how they were supposed to be acting, it just seemed they weren't as freaked out as I felt they needed to be for the severity of the sitch.

Whatever. Freddy and Ana have like twoish days to figure out how to get out of the purgatory they're in, that is also...Ana's conscience? Um. So there was a lot going on here kind of? 

-Ana being in a coma and them being on The Other Side

-but also it was in her...head? Or soul?

-Ana and Freddy share souls?? 

-Does that allude to them being soulmates? The movie definitely implies it, but an annoying part of me wants to understand the sci-fi logic of the world this movie set up, if you feel me? Like...if they're in Ana's mind (are they?), how is Freddy having flashbacks to his weird stepdad, which Ana would know nothing about? But if they share souls, then I guess? 

Can we talk about how Freddy killed Ana's aunt??????!?!? No, can we go back to talking about how Ana has like some sort of Eastern European accent with dark features but the younger version of her was completely opposite and possibly not even of the same ethnicity lol. AND THE SAME WITH FREDDY. Is Steven Str8 ~spicy white~?? You know in that Jason Momoa sort of way? Idk, but the kid who played the young him looked nothing like him did casting even try I'm.

Idk, the ending blah blah. Freddy got killed in Ana's...coma, by some fucking monster thing. And omg when will this end. Ana escapes the world in her coma, and wakes up. She immediately goes to find Freddy. He's in a wheelchair and doesn't remember her, but at the end the movie implies maybe Freddy a little does remember and Ana & Freddy are soulm8s and I think they kiss? It's not okay, Ana, he's mentally impaired.

After (ha) I watched this movie, I remembered thinking it wasn't that bad. There were so many bad and cheesy elements, but it held my interest. However, now, writing about it, I'm hard pressed to remember why I a little bit didn't hate this. I guess the movie had some interesting ideas? The execution was abysmal, but I'm not a stickler, if you can tell by my terrible writing. But, uh. This was pretty bad lol. But it's worth a watch, maybe. Not really, but maybe lol. 

Girls, seaz 5

So I took a hiatus from watching Girls for a bit. I wish it was because I hate Lena Dunham or some other very acceptable reason such as that, but nah, I fell off on a lot of my TV shows that I watch...the TV way. Been streaming a lot. But I recently got a free trial of HBO NOW (kill me), so I finally watched season 5 and literally no one asked or cares :')

Um. I don't remember too much about season 4, just that I hated it?? Or liked it less than previous seasons. But tbh, I doubt it was any worse than prior seasons, I just was in a different frame of mind when I started watching Girls, that I am no longer in. Short story: significantly less impressed with bad-bodied white feminists. But I still--I don't want to say I enjoy watching, lol, but maybe I do? Idk, I just feel like enjoy is the wrongest word. Almost any other word would be better. Sepulchral. I sepulchral watching.

So, bitch, GUESS WHAT?!?!? Adam and Jessa are FINALLY together and I want to throw up and die. This is my dream! Wow, that is super-sad!! But I have been waiting for this and omg it's sew cute! Is that okay to say? lol, it's Adam and Jessa. They are both such a mess, but that's why they're a perfect match! It's so cute it's so cute!! Pleeeeeeeeeez. lol. I will cry (no) if Lena breaks them up final season. Bitch better not play games or I will run up on her Little Critter looking ass and I am skreaming @ someone on the interwebz pointing out that she looks like that. Why can't people be nice lol. Too much work, moving on! 

So, I don't like...how...Jessa and Adam are being framed. The whole thing. You know what kept annoying me? Hannah being like Are they fucking? Jessa and Adam are fucking, etc. Bitch, no - they're boyfriends! They're raising a child together, you stupid bitch. Casual sex friends don't pay for college tuitions, bitch! They are longtime companions, ho! Bitch when Jessa said (screamed) even if she died beside Adam in bed she'd never forgive him, I was like awwww lol. It was so romantic <3 uwu lol, smh. 

But I don't like how it's being set up like...Jessa stole Hannah's boyfriend. First of all, no. Hannah and Adam are no longer 2gether, and haven't been for a minute? And that's it basically. Imo, they're treating this like a way bigger deal than it is. These are grown people, or they're supposed to fucking be anyway. This isn't middle school. Two consenting grown adults can do whatever or whomever the fuck they want, bearing, it's, like, within legal bounds. Miss me with all that JESSA BETRAYED HANNAH bullshit, like Hannah owns these people. Smh they can do as they damn well please, and bitch if you had literally anything going on, they would be a non-factor to you. Also, if you love these people like you vaguely claim you do, shouldn't you be happy for them? I'm not gonna play dumb and act like this wouldn't exactly happen this way in real life, I'm just saying it's dumb when it does. What was not realistic, however, was Hannah's reading. It wasn't funny or good, and when her mom put up her ten fingers, I knew she had died inside long ago. Typical beard teas. 

Aside from that Adam and Jessa drama, what all else did Hannah's annoying ass have going on? Sucking Ray's flaccid peenus (no), uh flashing her weird vagina @ her boss (DOUBLE NAHHH!!!!), uh, oh and some boyfriend drama. lol, I don't even remember her bf's name. This is so funny because I didn't remember his character's name in Obvious Child either lol. He is so boring I'm screaming. 

I don't know...how I feel...about Hannah making it like...oh, his niceness is a mask for his anger. I guess it was a stab at the ~nice guy~ trope. But he did genuinely seem okay? lol. Plus, anyone dating Hannah...like, Hannah could be dating a golden retriever puppy and like in two weeks it's drinking in the street and kicking chihuahuas in the head, just cuz. I feel like that's the affect she has on people. She's beyond annoying, and anyone would spaz being with her. But side-eye at Unnamed White Boy for even dating her. Like, what's wrong with him, huh? Screaming tho @ the handwritten letter his brother wrote about how rude Hannah is lol. I hope to inspire sum1 to write such a letter about me someday :') I love having a dream.  

They brought Christopher Abbott's ambiguously raced ass back and I am truly screaming. Didn't he talk shit about Lena and the show lol? Was that a real thing or just unconfirmed gossip? Either way, it definitely happened. Marnie is so dumb, for real. Why would she go anywhere with him? And then he was acting mad shady. lol did he set her up to get robbed? That wasn't addressed, but, he did, right? Idk, but that whole shit was iconic just to highlight how dumb and no purpose-having Marnie is. She is so embarrassing but her character remains entertaining to me. Actually everyone except Shoshanna (later). I'm excited she's divorcing that creepy dude (skreeming @ him saying she'd end up murdered, tho. Sooooo true.), but not excited their music is popping off. But what is going on with her and Ray? I am so...grossed out. So...she had a dream about brushing his hair and came? Gross. And I am not shipping them. They are not cute like Jessa and Adam, stop. 

Anyway, Shoshanna. Everything involving the Japan stuff was offensive. Moving on, Shoshanna could be written off the show and literally no one would care. 

Can't wait til the horribleness of season 6, the final seaz, oui? It better be lit. Don't end it with some weird shit like a wedding, or Hannah running down the turnpike to a fucking Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros song. Make it a Tinashe song. All hands on deck! omg have Hannah jumping off the TCM cruise to all hands on deck!! All hands off deck lol!!!!! 

Unnatural (2015)

Um, in what world would all the Native Americans die before the whites in the case of a mutant WOLFBEAR on the loose? 

Well, okay, I guess you could reason, the WOLFBEAR is man-made, not a natural occurrence. The wolfbear was made by evil whites, in particular Sherilyn Fenn, who has a really great Evil White face. So okay, I can get behind that logic. Maybe the Natives would be able to defeat a non-genetically modified bear, but they are no match against some hormones-enhanced, probably not paraben-free wolf stitched haphazardly into a bear mashup beast. Fine, but spare me that James Remar's character would be like the best candidate for survival. I don't care how long he's been hunting in some random mountains, he is white. And not a spicy white like Jason Momoa, okay? Just a regular degular one. Though he was Samantha's match on Sex & the City, and she was even more alarming than a wolf bear, something maybe a lot of people would describe her pussy as??????? And that would be the nicest descriptor. Anyway, I've gone off track. I'm glad. This movie was bad and I don't feel like talking about it :')

So whatever, James Remar, Q'orianka Kilcher (Pocahontas bae. Is that offensive? Probably.), and...some dude named Nate, live in some cabin out in the middle of snowy ass nowhere. I don't know why, I just know they don't have proper electricity. A character doucheily asks Q'orianka's character later in the movie why they live out there and she's all like "You'll never understand". Okay bitch me neither, tf!

Anyway, some photographer dude, his two models and his assistant are coming out to the cabin to do a photoshoot. Sigh. 

1. Why were there like all these weird ~sexy~ shots in the movie? lol, it's cold and I want to see nothing but snowboots and sweaters. How dare you have bitches in this movie skimping around in bikinis? This aint Spring Breakers, bitch, get this shit out my face! One of the main appeals of watching a movie that takes place in a snowy setting is that everyone will be cozied up. But I guess the creators felt this movie really needed some jutty-ass model hipbone all in my eyeballs. Just, everything to do with the ugly ass photographer and his mess was mad lame? A movie just with James Remar and his squad would have sufficed? And then that way the Natives could have had more screentime?? JUST A THOUGHT! 

So whatever, the wolfbear kills one of the models during their photoshoot lol. Then, SMH, Nate got killed off-screen??? THE FUCK YOU MEAN?!?! lol what. He was reminding me of Hanzee from Fargo seaz 2. Like, I thought he was gonna go the fuck in for the rest of the movie? But he just got eaten by the wolfbear offscreen? lol smh, what the fuck even was this movie?? 

So then whatever, Sherilyn Fenn turns up. Didn't ask her to, but I guess this is happening. This whole movie is happening, so why not? Blahblah, basically Sherilyn is a scientist who works for some governmenty science place, doing nature shit idk. I think Sherilyn's excuse is her science place was trying to figure out a way to make polar bears not be an endangered species or whatever? So...they fused one with wolf dna or some mess and it went blitzo. 

Remar suspects Sherilyn's character is shady, prob cuz of her shady ass face, but he isn't able to confirm until he finds a tape recorder of her discussing what her and her geek/evil government science friends are experimenting on.  

Couldn't care less. Especially after they killed off Q'orianka. I was completely over it. This movie had potential, because 1. wolfbear, and 2. political commentary about...whatever lol. Government sciencey shit, idk. The movie had potential, but I felt it was trying too hard to appeal to white people, pretty much. Or like, idk? White teen boiz, specifically? Is that the target demo? It completely never fucking should be.

The Stanford Prison Experiment (2015)

At first I thought this gathering of ~hot~, young, irrelevant boy actors would be kinda lame. I mean, I was seeing fucking...Moises Arias, that chunky blonde bitch from Awkward, that whack bitch from Animal Kingdom, and a bunch of other super-ugly boi actors I be seeing in shit, unimpressing the shit out of me. When Michael Angarano is the fucking Pacino of your film, in my estimation you have a problem.

Wrong! Very wrong. This movie was EXTREMELY LIT, and Michael Angarano as the Pacino went THE FUCK AWF!!! 

Where to even begin. I watched this movie primarily for Ezra Miller, because that's where I'm at in my life. I am a fucking fan of Ezra Miller. Pleez. Also, Michael Angarano. Did it seem like I was shading him up there? Because I hope so, I was. But I been stanning for old boy...for a minute. I wanna say since Sky High, but I think it's been since before that. I think he was in some kid shit I used to watch all the time idk whatever who cares. I will definitely watch a movie or show if I know Angarano is in it. However I stan for Ezzie more and watched this shit the most for him, either way I want to die.

Okay so Billy Crudup plays some dude named Dr. Philip Zimbardo. He's doing some "study" about how prison affects the psyche or some shit idk. He advertises for a two week study that involves a bunch of men coming in and participating in a prison simulation. Some men will play prisoners, some will play guards. 

Zimbardo and his colleagues interview all the men, mainly kind of trying to see if any of them are mental, I think. Then he asks all of them if they want to be a prisoner, or a guard. Everyone says prisoner. Lol, WHAT? Who the fuck wants to be imprisoned??? What a bunch of whites lol. What a completely unclear idea of what it feels like to be oppressed and to have your rights taken away smh. I would say guard SO MOTHERFUCKING QUICK! And ask if I was getting a stick and taser, FUCK THAT!!  

But it don't matter what they say they want, Zimbardo and them flip coins and that's how they decide who will be prisoner and who will be guard. 

Notable prisoners: Ezra, Tye Sheridan, Johnny Simms (whom I have never saw it for, but he was good here), Chris Sheffield, and my bae Ki Hong Lee, who kept asking for his pills (vitamins) (me). 

Notable guards: Michael Angarano aka "John Wayne". And no one else. Michael Angarano as a guard was probably one of the most doing the most performances I have ever seen. It was iconic, honestly. Like, bro. THIS ISN'T REAL. He really went all in for like seven dollars an hour. Wait how much were they making? It wasn't a lot because I remember thinking they sounded sad when they were speaking of their pay lol. (Oh it was some shit like fifteen dollars a day! Bruh.) But Michael Angarano's character coming through and taking this shit sooooo seriously was so lit and legendary. I despised his character lol he was so ugly and hateful. Like, even though he was ~pretending~ for the ~study~, it was clear that was just really him lol. Like this study allowed him--Like gave him this safe space to be his truly awful self, and oh, cool, get paid for it. 

What was soooooo funny to me in the movie was how mad shit would be happening, right? And then like DAY 1 would pop up on the screen!!! Like I would be DYIINNNNNG, BITCH! I swear to god they were going the fuck in up in there and it'd be like two hours lol! Byeeee!!!!!!! Like how many times did Ezra get put in fucking what's it called? The isolation closet or whatever. He was there for TWO DAYS and tried to fucking overthrow the government like a million times, got his ass beat, tried to escape, was going through all this strife, had a breakdown and dipped. All this shit in two. days. 

I was annoyed when Ezra left the film lol?? Like I watched this shit for you?? But nah it was fine because Angarano was still turning up. Also I found other prisoners to care about like Tye Sheridan's character, killing me softly, and them other notable prison niggas I mentioned. Oh, I also a little cared about chunk from Awkward. I completely forgot entirely what all happened with him, but he had a good amount of screentime and I remembered caring.

While watching the film, I was primarily getting my life from shit happening in the "prison". But I was also a little bit getting my life from scenes with the doctory science people running the study. Zimbardo and his geek squad and Nelsan Ellis' random ass ex-fucking Alcatraz character. Wait which priz did he come from? Gitmo? Idk, but he came from some famously extreme prison environment. Zimbardo's coon ass black colleague was looking at Nelsan's character like WHY ARE YOU HERE, PLEASE? Like bitch mind ur bidness. 

Zimbardo was entirely doing the most having Jesse there. Like ooooh a real life ex-con. He knows what REALLY happens in a priz. And like when dudes would try to leave the study, he'd be there to claim they were faking, or talk of how tough he had it or something, so they could take their ass right back on in there. DOING THE MOST CUZ, GUESS WHAT? NOT A REAL PRISON!!! Not a real prison. You want to do a study on how prison affects people, ummmmmmm I DON'T KNOW, take your ass to an actual prison?? The fuck. Zimbardo was just doing way too much for me. And he was mad excited by terrible things. Was I getting Frankenstein teas from watching this? Yeah I think at one point when Zimbardo's girl called him out??? Idk, it was lit. Like it was real bad lol, but like in an entertaining great way????? 

What made Zimbardo end the study? Was it Tom saying bastard so his fellow inmates wouldn't have to do push ups? Or was it Angarano and the other guards being weird and getting the prisoners to simulate fucking? I know for me it was Tom putting his morals aside to kowtow to John Wayne. That scene was lit, but I was pissed when Tom said bastard. Heartbreaking, and I am not even joking please watch this movie why was this made who decided to make this please.

The end interviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With them post the study. Bitch, I got my entire life with the one at the very end with 8612 and John Wayne. It looked really contrived, like Ezra and Angarano had seen real footage of such interviews, and they looked like they were mimicking them to the t, especially Angarano. It was so bad it was good. Where the fuck is Angarano's appreciation?? I mean I know I was shading the shit out his pasty mealy ass but like, he Did That™. From beginning to end, bitch. Ezra was Ezra, per ush. Tye Sheridan made me really care about his character. What a come up from being the brother with like no lines in that long ass The Tree of Life. Who else? Billy was good. Very creepy, but he kept it from being over the top. It seemed like a realistic unhinged sciencey person performance, where the work takes precedence over the subject. Also really loved Nelsan Ellis. That scene where they were interviewing Johnny Simms' character for parole was iconic. When Olivia Thirlby looked down at his blank ass paper I WAS THROUGH! 

This movie was fun as hell to watch. But also disturbing. But I have a lot of problems so that didn't bother me too much. The kind of shitty seventies costuming did a bit? The facial hair was fucking tragic, but I'll allow it because the movie was so on point. But don't ever do those falling ass off lacefront moustaches and side burns again. You know you were wrong for that. You know you were.

It Follows (2015)

So...was this movie an allegory about...sex? How sex...affects...people? I'M EXTREMELY DUMB, but it seems that the...haunting or whatever, was like an std. And this movie was kind of like saying, What if sexually transmitted diseases were like...idk, evil spirits? Or evil spiritual attachments? Sexually transmitted demonic hauntings. Which is a cool, sort of sci-fi little idea. 

I was really excited to see this movie but I gotta learn about getting excited to see these hyped indie films. They're always underwhelming. It Follows was--I felt detached from the subject matter. For me, for horror films, I need to connect. Because ultimately I want to be scared. This wasn't scary, but if you look at it from a more sci-fi angle I think it's pretty intriguing. It was enjoyable to watch for the most part. I didn't know what was going to happen and I was definitely interested in seeing what was.

OKAY BUT WHAT WAS THE ENDING? Wait, first, what was their fucking idea to like electrocute the spirit thing out of Jay?? Lol. That just seemed entirely incredibly dumb. WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHEN PAUL SHOT YARA IN THE LEG AND SHE WAS JUST SITTING OFF TO THE SIDE HOLDING HER LEG KIND OF GROANING??? Idk that was just really funny, but shout out to Olivia Luccardi your gap is so cute and I want to see you in more things. Like Yara and her little clam book reader thing was the best character in the film, hands down be quiet!

WAIT! Can we talk about that random spiel about Detroit and 8 Mile? That was really random. Was it some sort of racial commentary? Can't be! Eminem was from 8 Mile, soooo! But like seriously why were they randomly talking about the divide from Detroit suburbs to the inner city or whatever? Whoever wrote this film does know that's how suburbs and cities work, right???? Like the suburbs are "nice" and the cities are "rough" and if you're from the suburbs your parents warn you about crossing over a certain line, because there's grass and then there's jungle. I wonder if their twenty second commentary about Detroit and 8 Mile or whatever ties into whatever metaphor this movie is trying to...metaphor lol. Like the thing with how it stops being suburbs and starts being the city at a certain point. Does that tie in with--what I believe, anyway--is commentary on...how sex affects you? I mean, I wish I were less dumb, because I could like...intellectually fucking parse better. And I know this movie is not even smart lol and that's what kills me. But I just wish I was smart enough to decode not even smart things. Life is hard.

But anyway!! Again! What the fuck was the ending?? Jay ends up with Paul's dry ass? Real quick can we talk about how I used to love Keir Gilchrist? When he used to be Moosh on United States of Tara and was giving me everything I needed as Tara's consistently pressed son? Now I like...don't care. Too bad so sad but I still wanna know how Paul ended up bagging Jay? She didn't wanna fuck him so bad that when she HAD to fuck someone else to get ride of her curse, SHE DIDN'T WANT TO??? I almost wonder if the demon thing was like Paul at the end? And like the curse is Jay has to date him? Lol idfk. Oh wait, I forgot they fucked. Or. Hmm. Did she pass it on to Paul? What the fuck happened, bro? No. I def feel they fucked something up in the thunderstorm at the pool and so she fucks Paul and now she's cursed with having to date him. Sucks, man. Anyway, 7/10 would recommend.

Fort Apache, The Bronx (1981)

What the fuck was this? Fort Apache, The Bronx: Or, How I'll Watch Any Movie Cuz Paul Newman Is In It. 

So P New plays some Irish cop dude named Murphy. I thought Newman was cute in this role. But I'm biased. Like I'm a Newman stan and think he's cute in anything, so. Like if you like Newman...not sure if you'll like this movie, but you'll def like watching him play this sort of faux-grizzled cop who has this...almost out of place optimism? Even though he's playing pessimist? Idk, it's typical Good Cop bs, but I liked it on Newman. I don't think I've ever seen him play a cop? I could be wrong but I don't remember.

Murphy works for some police station in I guess one of the worst precincts? I guess cuz of all the hispanics lol. The cops kept reiterating how no one spoke English. Bitch...get some Latino cops, kaduh??? And then there's a lot of crime because, guess what? People are poor. The cops stay bitching like omg so many spanish so many poor!!!!! How do we cop??? It was a mess but likely super-accurate. 

Real talk I watched this movie some weeks ago and forgot almost everything. What I remember:

-Murphy's partner, Corelli, played by some dude named Ken Wahl. Do I know Ken Wahl? Is he even Italian? Wahl doesn't sound like an Italian name hmmmmm. Lemme find out! But I liked Corelli. I liked how he kept talking about how his appearance, dressing for success, so 2 speak, would move him up in life. Just his whole self-help manifestation character was very cute and sweet and I liked how he had Murphy's back, even after he said he'd be a snitch for telling on Morgan. 

-Speaking of Morgan. Him throwing that kid off a roof. Uhhhhhhhhh. That was a great scen--Great is a stretch. That was a riveting scene in the movie, I think. When Murph and Corelli were on one roof and they were looking over at another roof and saw Morgan and his partner. And at first it was mad innocent like oh hey there go Morgan and them, but then Morgan and his partner started roughing up that Latino kid who wasn't doing anything?? And then thREW HIM OFF THE FUCKING ROOF??? Murphy and Corelli were FUCKING SHOOK. But bitch, me too!! Tho can't say I was like, shocked lol. Of course Danny Aiello is throwing some minority kid off a roof. That just screams him.

-Pam Grier as a murderous prostitute. Like we totally could have had a movie of just that character. Like what was she doing lol was she a witch? A mermaid demon? I needed so much more information, but they just killed her off. And in like a mad weak way but okay. But maybe it was a vampire metaphor. Like she was sort of staked? I'm sincerely reaching to make her character have more substance smh.

-Isabella od'ing. Talking about drugs were a vacation to her, she not an addict. Anyone describing drugs as a vacation is an addict, sweetie :') But to be fair, she was poisoned by those dealers. But whyyyyyy would her stupid ass be having her cop boyfriend dropping her off at the trap haus? Not so smart. But like did she deserve to die? No, but like those dudes were crazy so like moral laws don't apply or whatever. But anyway it was sad when Murph discovered she was dead and was trying to walk her around to get her to wake up? Jesus.

This movie was weird and random. But I'd recommend it just for that. I don't think it's particularly...good, but there are interesting elements. The main one being Paul Newman playing an Irish cop. Thanks, goodbye.

Paris Blues (1961)

Wow okay. This movie has...everything. Well, actors-wise. How are you going to have Paul Newman, Sidney Poitier, Joanne Woodward and Diahann Carroll in one shit??? How was this allowed to happen??? I am so excited and want to die and throw up?? 

So I've been wanting to see this for ages. It used to always come on on...like one of those Encore channels a few years ago but always at some awkward random time, like 4:30 am, so I never was able to catch it. But then recently it was on TCM, AND I FUCKING MISSED IT BECAUSE I ALWAYS DO, and so I was heated like ugh I missed it.  But then I thought "what if it's on utube?". Because a lot of shit be on youtube. And so I looked and died because guess what it was on youtube. And I love how no one cares about the whole fucking backstory to how I came to watch this movie, but no one fucking reads this blog so honestly I can say whatever I want it doesn't matter I shot JFK.

So P New (no.) plays some dude named Ram Bowen. He's a jazz musician and I want to throw up and die again but not in a good way? Like I already know his character is gonna be on some douchey bs. Thank god he's played by Newman and not like Robert Mitchum or some shit because I would immediately not fucking care or ever watch this :')?

Anyway Ram is some jazz dude. He composes, too, whatever. He's in some jazz band with my bae Sidney Poitier, who plays a dude named Eddie Cook. The movie starts with Ram playing some little shit and asking Eddie if he likes it, is it too somber, etc. Eddie is like it's good bro. But Ram is mad extra and white and prob a Scorpio and thinks Eddie's compliment is a condemnation at best? Like bro, chill out. You're playing jazz music (all that shit sounds the same stop) in some shitty underground speakeasy in Paris. Literally no one cares, it's so wild how extra you're being lol.

Flip to Diahann and Joanne, who play two chics on vacation from the states, named Connie and Lillian, respectively. Connie meets Ram on the train. What happens? Oh some worker person on the train is trying to take Connie's bags. She's trying to tell him she wants to keep her bags, but doesn't speak French. Ram to the rescue.

OKAY!!! Okay.

Okay.

Um. Okay. Lol. Sooooooooooooooooo. I was shipping Ram and Connie immediately??????????????????????????? I was getting it all in my head that she would...save him him from his shittiness? From his douche-assness?? OKAY WAIT I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF BITCH TRY TO TELL THE STORY IN ORDER BUT NO ONE IS READING THIS WHO CARES

Sooo!! (sigh) Ram is kinda flirting with Connie? Um, but he's mad arrogant so...like, to me anyway, it's not even obvious. He's the type to think he could bag any bitch, and he's right but not really, because Connie completely pays his ass. But anyway, here cum Lillian's lily white ass being thirsty as fuck. Like, she is ALL ABOUT Ram right away, talking about "WHO IS HE?". Girl, no one is checking for you! No one checking for you! Lol sorry but literally no one was checking for Lillian. Joanne is my girl but no one was checking for Lillian lol bottom line! 

Lol but anyway Ram ends up inviting them to the club. Come and see him play. Lillian apparently knows who Ram is. I guess he put out some little records. So she on some groupie shit. Lillian is being too thirsty for me. Like, I almost want to respect how she doesn't even try to play it cool, but it was giving me too much 2nd hand embarrassment, so I can't, sorry.

Alright so Connie and Lillian go to see Ram play. I know I was shading jazz music above because it sucks lol, but the performance was nice, even though it seemed maybe really obvi that Newman and Poitier weren't really playing? Or am I thinking of a latter performance where they showed Poitier supposedly going off but it was like obviosuly fake? lol. Idk, whatever, the performance here when Connie and Lillian first visit the club was nice. And Lillian was getting in her feelings in the audience, girl. But okay, cuz in the beginning of the movie I thought...Lillian was gonna be thirsting for Ram, but he was gonna play her for Connie?? But Connie wasn't even thinking about Ram after she met Eddie. But tbh, I don't think Connie was ever thinking about Ram, period, because the more we came to know of her character we see how pro-black she is, and so prob she not checking for any lip-less white kings, ever. Even if they Paul Newman. Which sucks cuz I was ready to ship it!! But! I realllllllllllly really thought she and Poitier were so ultra-fucking cute, so I'm glad the movie ultimately took it that route instead. 

Okay! But let's talk about after Ram and them perform and Lillian and Connie are leaving the club. I think Eddie escorts them out? He's talking about going to get pancakes or some shit but Connie is saying she wants to go home? (me, girl). And Ram sort of comes @ her like "Why are you playing games? I know why u came down here, let's go." You know, kind of like, get this dick girl why r you playing around. WHICH! Bitch!!!!!!!! I was like...gasping at how rude Ram was being lol. I mean, it wasn't that serious. Like I've seen way worse shit in movies and in real life lol, but I was just taken aback that he was coming at classy ass Diahann Carroll like that. On some give up that pussy girl why u playing games shit. girrrlllll!! He was really wild for that! Honestly, truly. He really was. But I loved that scene, so intense. Right? Idk, I loved it. 

So Lillian kind of comes at Ram like Don't talk to her like that please, I was the one who wanted to come down. LIKE HOW ARE YOU STANDING UP FOR YOUR FRIEND TO THE NIGGA WHO JUST DISRESPECTED HER ASS BUT STILL THIRSTING AFTER THE D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!!!!?!?!?!? I c o n i c. Iconic!! Iconic. Okay?? 

So what happens? Omg. It gets so much worse! Lol. So I think Eddie is taking Connie and Lillian, I don't remember. Either back to the hotel or to eat whatever idk. So they fuck off. But like literally two seconds later Lillian's...sigh, completely sad ass comes back to basically throw her pussy at Ram, AGAIN, even tho he has thwarted it I don't know how many times in the - what? Twenty fucking minutes this film has been on? Jesus. Ram is like You don't want someone like me. Even tho he was all over Connie and would never had said some shit like that to her lol okay, but I guess eventch Lillian wears his equally pathetic ass down and they end up in bed. Nice? I guess......

So ~the morning after~ Ram tries to act funny with Lillian, kinda tryna get her to get out of his apartment. Somewhere in here we find out Lillian is divorced, and has kids. So I guess she in Paris just tryna turn up. But it's...weird? To like be tryna snag a beaux when you're only gonna be there for two weeks? Why isn't she hopping on as many French d--HOW ARE YOU GONNA GO TO PARIS TO SLUT IT UP AND FIND LIKE THE ONE AMERICAN AND JUST ATTACH YOURSELF TO HIM UMMMMMMHOW DOES THIS WORK WHERE DOTHEY DO THIS??? She could be slippin and slidin on so much French dick, but she just settles on Ram's whack, bad energy ass and he doesn't even have an accent to make up for all his many flaws. Okay, girl. You small town, narrow-minded thot! Lol, come. oN! 

But somehow, Ram and Lillian end up in some little relationship thing. I don't ship it. It's just kind of this weird and sad thing to me. And obviously Ram is a mess, like Lillian girl you can't bring his rude, jazz-playing ass home to your kids. Mess.

On the flip, Connie and Eddie are having some mad cute ass relationship. Hashtag black love in this bitch. Like, they're talking about marriage and kids and shit, IT IS SEW CUTE. Okay but the only ish...hmm. So Connie wants their life to be in America, but Eddie wants to stay in Paris, where he feels it is better for a black man. Apparently (sniff) Eddie thinks in France, a black man is just A Man, not A Black Man. LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Connie is looking @ this new black negro like...I can't belieb this is my future baby father lol. She lowkey highkey thinks this negrum is weak sauce, and running away from things. She thinks he should be in America facing adversity, not hiding away in France, where, bitch, guess what? You are a black man. Like how that little boy came up and LITERALLY CALLED HIM LIKE A NEGRO MAN OR SOMETHING. Connie was like if he was an American boy you'd feel some type of way! Exactly. Cuz that cute little French bitch had an accent suddenly it's okay?? Eddie if you don't get!!! 

Despite Connie being...what the fuck did Eddie call her? DIDN'T HE CALL HER A SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR? Bitch, I screamed. Lol despite Connie being on her pro-black ish and Eddie thinking the French are fucking color blind or some shit lol like even if they were, color blinds can still differentiate from white skin AND YOUR BLACK ASS lol, but anyway! Despite their big differences in...ahem, beliefs, I still ship it. Or, I ship Connie having the ability to change men lol. Like, when I was shipping her and Ram initially it was because I clocked her immediately as someone who'd smack this stupid bitch upside the head one time, and he'd be right from them on. But I'm glad they paired her with Eddie in the end. He's more malleable, and less gone. Also they just look really cute together. 

Lillian does not posses the power of the puss. I'm sure her puss is fine and good, but it is not life-changing like Connie's, sorry. Ram is not going anywhere with you. He's young wild and free lol. He is not going back to whereeverthefuck, USA to play stepdaddy to some dusty corn fed brats. Even tho he was about to leave with her after that music gatekeeper dude examined Ram's composition and said he was amateur. Ram got one rejection and all of a sudden he's giving up immediately? Is that common with artists? Lol. Idk I only speak from my perspective...but if you do anything creative, you're gonna get rejected. A lot. Even Mozart was rejected, no? (insert me trying to remember shit from Amadeus smh). Idk, it just seemed really dumb...that Ram would immediately feel like giving up. This is one dude saying you suck. And he's old and who cares? Idk whatever, it doesn't matter, because Ram ends up staying in Paris. And that's...nice. Couldn't care less tbh DID EDDIE GO TO AMERICA TO MAKE A MILLION BABIES WITH CONNIE, OR NAH? That was unclear at the end? Or maybe I wasn't paying attention to a particular part. Like did they say he was meeting up with her in a few weeks? BITCH, HE BETTER! Anyway, did Poitier and Carroll smash in real life? Put me on TCM so I can gossip about this with Robert Osborne. I know his old ass got some tea.

The Spiral Staircase (1945)

I watched this recently having forgotten I had already seen it. I take no issue with rewatching movies, I do that shit all the time, it's just if I had remembered I'd seen this particular one, I would...have not rewatched it??

So redflag right away that I didn't even remember having seent this shit. Okay, and then while I'm watching lol the whole time I'm like...pretty.......sure I've seen this..........and then pretty much towards the middle of the film I was sure I had seen it and was annoyed because this movie is full of old timey actors who get on my nerves. Fucking Dorothy McGuire's mousy ass, George Brent's fat ass, fucking Ethel Barrymore's old ass, fucking Kent Smith's bland ass jesus christmas. So pissed I forgot I seent this shit lol.

So whatever, tbh, it was like I had never seen it, because I forgot everything that happened. This movie is mad forgettable, imo. But I am coming from a place where I hate all the actors lol, but I think just the story is lame? Like no shit George Brent was the killer, right? It was all obvious. An actual thrill would have been if it was Ethel Barrymore's bed ridden ass. The brother as the red herring was wayyyyyyyyy too obvious. He was all to his girl like YOU'LL REGRET THIS when she broke up with him lol and we're supposed to think ooooh murder when he just seemed like some spitty little kid feeling some type of way, not, like, Jeffrey Dahmer? He's an obnoxious rich playboy type idk where yall getting serial killer from but mmmkay. And then even Ethel was believing it was him lol. Wasn't he her bio son? Wow. And like...he wasn't the killer! It's so funny to me that she was just sure he was lol idk.

Anyway, George Brent's ~motive~ for killing crippleds was very lame (ha). Like, his dad hated weak people. Apparently George and his bro were pansy asses or whatever and their dad hated them for it, I guess. OKAY BUT DIDN'T ETHEL SAY THE DAD WAS A DRUNK? How is that not a weakness? Get some fucking self-awareness! And then the same with George. How is not feeling some type of way about "weak" people and killing them...not a weakness in itself lol? A strong person would be completely unbothered by a bitch with a peg leg, or who looks like Dorothy McGuire lol, like being a murderer is one of the pussiest shits of all time??? Like you're mad whack and no one likes you?? You have no friends and everyone thinks you're ugly? You're crippled in your soul and no one's coming to your funeral, so there.

I don't like this movie. It's not good. It's corny and dumb. I liked the thunderstorm, I guess. It looked especially unrealistic? So there's...that.

Autumn Leaves (1956)

This is my second time watching Autumn Leaves and I can't figure if I like it or not. Like, no? Lol. It's mad...like it's a shitty movie. Or the themes are. Idk, it could be worse. But what saves it are my baes Joan Crawford and Cliff Robertson. I think both of them elevate a fairly questionable script with their individual talents. 

Joan was like a true movie star, looking mad glam and bright in roles that call for her character to be sort of plain and dusty and regular degular. It's almost always like a really awkward, jarring dichotomy in Joan's movies. Especially since she so often plays pathetic woman. That's what I will call the genre she often mired in, "Pathetic Women". Joan's character stayed lusting after that bs. Obsessing over ugly ass Van Heflin, or letting Veda and Bette Davis get into that ass - no ma'am! And it's so crazy because you know Joan was That Bitch in real life, so to watch her play all these weak, damp ass damsel in distress types is super disconcerting. But thankfully most of them are also kinda mentally deranged, and that wears well on Joan. No shade but all shade, let's keep it real.  

So Joan here plays some broad named............goddamn Millicent Wetherby. Smh. So I guess Millicent is kind of a loner, spinster-type? #same. She makes a living...I think typing up screenplays or books or some shit at home? There's like a professional name for that but I am having an ADD brain thing and can't remember it. Transcribing? Is it ADD or a tumor? Either way, we are all going to die. And that's just wonderful.

Millicent has some landlord all in her business and there's a conversation about how Millicent needs a bae. Something about how she can't stay home all the time doing work. And why is that? Lol lee the bitch alone. But whatever, I guess Millicent is lonely. She goes out to a concert and the movie is mad extra and highlights how ALONNNNE she is. Like why a bitch by herself can't be enjoying the Brahms or whatever without internally screaming about how single and unmingled she is? Like it was just doing the most. And then after the concert Millicent goes to a crowded ass restaurant and awkwardly sits by herself at a booth. BUT WHO MAKES IT EVEN MORE AWKWARD IS, Burt Hanson, played by Cliff. 

He come in the restaurant and there's no tables for him, so his rude ass see Millicent sitting by herself and walks up and kind of gives off this entitled ass attitude, like, oh, because you're sitting here alone and there's no more seats I should be able to sit here with you so I can eat. Um, no?? It would be nice of Millicent to offer her seat, but who the fuck would do that? Who the fuck tryna eat with some random nigga, even if he is suspiciously roughy-haired Cliff Robertson?? And like, in Burt's defense, he didn't get mad or whatever when Millicent declined him sitting at the table, BUT HE DID KEEP STANDING THERE! HE DID KEEP DOING THAT!! 

Millicent was like .....uhhhhhmmmmmmmm are you gonna move? Like lol why would he keep standing there? Like she said she didn't want to eat with you, so go wait up by the front? It got so awkward with him standing there she was basically forced to say he could eat with her. And so begins their awkward ass romance.

Their romance is awkward because, I guess, Millicent is OLD. Idk how old she's supposed to be, or how old Burt is supposed to be, but they make it seem like he's quite young and Millicent is an old maid, which was prob like thirty in 1956. But it's also awkward because, the movie sort of emphasizes that Burt and Millicent get together because they are lonely. Millicent is OLD and HUSBANDLESS and Burt is new in town. So they get together on, I guess some not ideal common ground. Or the movie makes it seem like two people connecting because they are lonely is pathetic and doesn't bode for a stable, long-lasting relationship, because loneliness is finite. Or that's how the movie makes it seem. But lol, no. Like, aren't most relationships spun from loneliness? People connecting and warming each other's cold, dead hearts? Or am I just such a mess and that's not even the case? Lol and smh.

But whatever. I disagree their situation is tragic because...of how it started, or the reasons. So what if Millicent is old, or they were both lonely as fuck and just trying to find companionship? At the end of the day, they made a good connection and chose to be together, and when they don't want to be together anymore, they won't. It's not that serious. Or I should tell Millicent that, because she was acting like it was a big deal that she was older or that they both met when they were lonely like girl you just looking for excuses to be a spinster at this point.

But anyway, I think their relationship could have been sweet and nice had Burt not been, you know, INSANE. Just as looney tunes as he could be, bless his sweet heart. 

Just a goddamn mental case. Turns out, Burt used to be married to Vera Miles. But she smashed his daddy and Burt walked in on it, so he snapped. Lol okay. Kinda dramatic, just take your ass on Maury or something and call it a day. But Burt gotta be extra and have a complete mental breakdown. Drama. Queen. 

So...I felt like the shit with Vera Miles and Burt's daddy makes this a bad movie. It was very B-movie to have them turn up on some villainous shit. We could've been good just with Burt being crazy, you know? But it's like I can see the machinations of the writer of this movie's mind, like, How are we going to ~reveal~ Burt's lies?, and then shit just got outta control lol. The daddy fucking his son's wife and them trying to get his crazy ass to sign some paper so some land could be released to them deal was a total thumbs down for me. 

Also another thumbs down was Millicent basically being in an abusive relationship but the movie kind of glossing over that because Burt has a mental illness. How progressive but in like the wrongest way lol. IF I AM NOT MISTAKEN, Burt threw a goddamn typewriter on this bitch's typing hand!!!! AND ALSO DID HE NOT SLAP HER A BUNCH OF TIMES?!!?!?!?! Is this movie nuts?! HAS THIS MOVIE LOST ITS GODDAMN MIND?! Because lol!!!! Then we have Millicent showing up at the end AT THE GODDAMN LOONY BIN SHE HAD TO SEND HIM TO, TO FUCKING, LIKE, PATHETICALLY SAY GOODBYE TO HIM BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HIS TREATMENT WOULD MAKE HIM NOT WANT TO BE WITH HER ANYMORE!! LIKE SHE WAS THE BAD SEED IN THEIR SHITTY ASS RELATIONSHIP LOL SMFFHFHFHFHFHFHFHFHFH

I hate this movie lowkey like it's honestly ugly. I just like hate...how they wrote for Joan's character. Why was she so thoroughly pathetic? Feeling like...almost like she didn't deserve Burt. Ha! She was ride or die for this crazy nigga, and I...sigh, I guess applaud Millicent for having her man's back or whatever while he going through a trying time, but the first time a nigga hit you, it's a wrap, yeah? Idc if he in some ~manic state~ or whatever you wanna call it, once their shit start spilling over and black-molding your ass, it's time to bounce. I'm not co-signing a gotdamn thing that happened...even before the slaps. The minute Vera showed up like lol anyway I'm his wife, it's a wrap, endgame. But golf clap for Millicent for being desperate and thirsty as fuck and the movie tryna make that seem noble. Like Millicent was out here looking like Elephant Man and should be grateful for her scraps. Bitch, Joan Crawford was on the board of Pepsi, and it wasn't her first time at the rodeo! Miss me!!  

But anyway, what's up with this movie being called Autumn Leaves? Was...was it supposed to be autumn in the movie? I couldn't tell because it just looked like a studio backlot. *Autumn Leaves by Nat King Cole gears up over my sarcasm*

Shameless, Season 7...

Sigh dot com.

Shameless is like my favorite show and I will watch it for thirty thousand more seasons and I don't care how little or not at all the characters progress. They can mire in the bs until 2079, and I'll be fucking Good! I'll be great! Like, keep it coming. That being said, lemme launch into mad complaints! :')  

Okay let's start with Baeona. Pleez. I feel like it's weird that I like Fiona. Idk. She just seems like a character I'd typically hate lol. But I love her and root for all her mess. Do I relate to Fiona? Nooo. When they were ~diagnosing~ her a few seasons back, with all that UR A DRAMA ADDICT and YOU HELP PEOPLE TO IGNORE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS or whatever, I...did not relate. I relate to Lip the most prob, like I am such a Good Will Hunting, it's so ugly. But I guess Fiona being the backbone and the star of the show pretty much and just being a seemingly pretty okay person who is forever not catching a break, makes me love her. And Emmy Rossum plays her amazingly and it's like gurl the bitch is named Emmy. HELLO!! Gih the bitch her shit! Tatiana just got one so I'm fingers crossing Emmy will get one soon. Can the dented-skull, troglodyte ass Shameless fandom start a goddamn Emmy campaign for her, I mean shit! 

I like that Fiona is getting inspired by this woman. I forget her name Margo or something? Idk, but I like that she is getting that inspiration, but I am nervous af. Because Fiona be getting mad hype, only to be crushed like shit soon after and feeling

like shit because she deigned to believe in something. Also I feel like with her not dealing with her emotions, like, ever, it'll impede her. She'll keep running and running and then crash and everything she is building will fall apart and we'll get some classic Emmy acting AND THAT IS WHAT I AM HERE FOR. Like lowkey fuck Fiona's accession if that means I get some Emmy cry-acting, okay?! 

I am so nervous about the diner, tho. Like........idk. That shit can be snatched from Fiona in a minute. But we'll see. But yas at Fiona calling out Lip for being arrogant? I LOVE when Lip and Fiona fight, like it's the litest shit, pleez. I was missing Lip living at the house because there was less interaction, so I'm hype he's back. Wasn't feeling college Lip, tho I'm not sure if we should...want him to be in college. Obviously Lip is mad...alternative, so even if he hadn't got kicked out for turning up, not sure he would have fit...anyway? Idk. He's from such a scammy, unstable ass background it just seems like it'd be so hard for him to adjust to that environment? And like, obviously it was. Idk, I just want to justify my reasons for not wanting Lip to be in school so he can be at home :')  And he and Fiona can yell at each other :')) Omg remember when Lip and Ian used to fight all the time? Sigh, the good old days. 

Okay but what is going on with Lip and Sierra? Are we supposed to ship them? I do not :') Over it before it's even began. Why this show can't get an equal for Lip? The closest they've gotten was Karen's crazy ass. But she was...like...out of Lip's league. So to fucking speak. She was doing 2 much even for Lip's consistently turnt ass. I always miss Karen, but she made Lip a puddle and idk if I like...pathetic Lip. Well, I guess Lip in general is kinda pathetic with his shitty Gallagher genes, but being pathetic over Karen was...hard to watch. Be pathetic over a pint of beer :') Easier for me to stomach :')

But what is gonna happen with this hacking shit? I FULLY expect his ass to get caught. So Lip. Like why was he talking out loud with Joaquin on the phone? Bitch, is you stupid? Like they aint got recording devices and shit up in there. Prob got one in that picture frame with the cat. Lip dumb. I will be straight fucking cackling if he get caught. Tho, this isn't a going to jail kinda deal is it? Because the company itself is kind of illegal? Or...could Lip get caught like separate from the company? Idk but I am sure some mess is gonna happen, because this is Shameless and that's how things go, thank god.

I feel bad for my baby Carl?? His character is so different now from how he started and I am living, tbh. He was a straight Bebe's Kid b4, now he Native American and going to Military School. It is ridiculously turnt. But I feel bad his mulatto bae cheated on him, tho :( I thought they were endgame. He gave that bitch a bike smh. But HOLD UP. What does Carl going to military school mean? Is it far away, or is he staying in Chicago? I be always hearing shit about the dude that play Carl leaving the show but he never does so idk. Imma be sad if he does I love Carl. But if the show replaces him with New Debbie...I will be consoled.  

Debs. Smh. Wait but...what is Fiona doing? Isn't Debbie still a teenager? Why is she being such a hard ass on her about rent and shit? Especially since she got that kid? It's a little...rough? How the fuck Debbie supposed to make money? Yeah yeah blah not Fiona's problem, and she did spend quiet a large amount of time trying to get Debbie to abort, but iono, I'm not feeling Fiona's attitude. She always seems to go way harder on Debbie, who literally has no one? Like lol Debbie has no parent. I feel it's mad projection from Fiona and...idk I'm not into it. That being said, Debbie don't ever listen, so her problems are her fault pretty much but man she is so young and alone? Advertising herself to creepy dudes to become some child bride and begging for coins on the street and getting in hobo fights? It's not a good looook. 

I feel really bad for her, though. I hope her baby doesn't get snatched, but maybe at the same time it's for the best?? Like............................ Oh, but I'm forgetting about her new wheelchair bae. Maybe he'll save her from her mess. But I feel Sierra might intervene? But why Sierra giving mulatto teas but her brother look like a fat Prince Harry? That's the real question. 

Okay, so Ian! I always forget about my boring ginger bae :') So I am excited for his new trans bae, but I wonder how offensive this show is gonna get about it. But this new dudette whose name I forget is such a refreshing change from the mess Ian has had in the past. Like Mickey, and thot ass "bi" bae. And no biphobia in these streetz, that nigga was just clearly dl. Lame, next. But anyway I am excited for Ian's new thing, but sigh his mental health is taking some beatings. Hopefully it doesn't get too out of control, but who else was cackling when that chic threw herself out the back of the ambulance and got slammed by a car? *screams until my neck bleeds* ICONIC! But no very sad and serious but also hilarious and I can't believe Ian didn't get fired. 

Kev and V and their Russian male order bride. I am just waiting for this to get right messy. It's not already, you say? No, bitch, this is Shameless. A regular Tuesday with the current mess. But I just know...with Svet and V being proper married, and now Svet and V adopting each other's kids? LOL. Can't wait for slow ass Kev to realize he has zero rights. Very excited. Other than that, I do not care about this situation. Maybe later when Svet's daddy sells the babes. Can't wait.

Smh @ Frank consistently. BUT TELL ME WHY MY ASS BE LOWKEY FEELING BAD FOR HIM THAT NONE OF THE FAM FUCKS WITH HIM? But then he calls Fiona "cunty" and I'm like lol nvm. I love Frank. I just...do. You don't like a trash ass bitch like this in real life, but for a character on a TV show, sigh he is #iconic. I love the cockroach teas, I love it okay. And types like him never die in real life, just like Frank's nine lives having ass. Life is a scam, but makes for some iconic characters, working the system, you know? Nah but he's a piece of shit lol. This homeless shelter mess will probably end up turning pretty bad, as things usually do, but Frank will unfortunately prevail. Unfortunately for everyone he's ever met, but not for me, as I will be getting my life.