The Godfathers: How Ghetto European Immigrants Assimilated into Equally Ghetto Ass White America

I recently watched the movie Serpico, which is basically about a do-gooder cop battling the entirety of a corrupt NYC police force. Al Pacino plays the do-gooder titular cop Serpico. I'm sitting here watching this movie and the whole time thinking that something is wrong with Serpico. Not because he wants to be a good cop, but like, who the hell signs up to work as a cop who actually expects to be able to make a positive difference? Like am I just too hardened and pessimistic? And this is 1970s NYC for christ's sake! Serpico wanting to join the force expecting for it not to be insanely corrupt was bordering on criminally insane. But like midway through I started thinking: Wait, is Serpico autistic? And once that realization hit, the whole movie made so much more sense to me.

But I wasn't sure. I wasn't 100%. They never mention he is neurodivergent in the film. The most we get is people calling Serpico weird and accusing him of sucking dick in dark bathrooms at work. Which, like, do we really need more? lol

But on that train of thought, I was wondering if it was just the character of Serpico, or is it Al Pacino. Because when I watch him in the Godfather films there is, to me, no one more autistic-coded than Michael Corleone. Or, this is what I was thinking while watching Serpico. It was to the point that I'm like, I need to rewatch the Godfather movies to see what's really going on. Like, does Al Pacino just have a serious case of Autistic Face and that's why I'm interpreting the characters this way (you can reason his characters in Scarface and Scent of a Woman and The Panic in Needle Park and Scarecrow and etc and etc are also on the spectrum if you were really brave and don't mind getting booed)? I feel like it's a little of this and a little of that. But please understand this unhinged post will be mostly me diagnosing several characters from The Godfather trilogy with various disorders, and when I'm not doing that I will be saying slurs and unironically and unapologetically championing criminal, incestuous dynamics between characters.

Enjoy!

No one has ever looked hotter than Pacino in Serpico. Is there something mentally wrong with me? Look at him. He's like four foot tall and hairy as hell and looks sickly and deranged and he's my little booboo :')

Okay, let me start talking about The Godfather movies - what this stupid post is actually supposed to be about smh

My screencaps are out of order, so this is pretty chill :) (would do a mass murder spree but I'm too tired plus scared)

I thought it was cute here that Sonny called Mike "Mickey". I love how Sonny interacts with pretty much everyone. I am in love with him. It hurts real bad because he's super hairy, an animal; he has weird white people afro hair; he's loud, obnoxious, racist, crazy - and exactly my type. It hurts. And he's at his hottest when he's being sweet (or rude) to his siblings. He's usually being rude and abusive, but when he called Mike Mickey it seemed sweet and affectionate, but it also might've been a little condescending, too - you know Sonny has to throw a little emotional and verbal abuse on his love just to keep things spicy. Wanna die that he's not real :)

As a chronically-sickly person I felt terrible for Paulie. What if he had long-COVID or something? Didja think of that?? (I'm too stupid when I watch gangster movies like I have no idea if Paulie was a snake/traitor or if he genuinely had like cholera all the time lol so if he was really a traitor I take back feeling bad for him but only a little because when you lie down with dogs you get fleas like stop acting dumb all y'all are trash - now moving on!)

Sonny being confused after receiving a package of fishes. If you were genuinely Sicilian (and not just a regular degular white boy cosplaying as one) you would know what it meant! No, but why does James Caan not look Italian at all in the slightest? Or am I being ignorant lol. I'm pretty sure he was not Italian irl. To me he looks, down to the boots, like your typical, trash, Tri-state area Irish-American lol. I'd also accept Polish. There is nothing Italian about this sexy ginger man, nothing in the slightest. (I could be being ignorant tho lol I do not associate with Italians irl so maybe some look like this and it's fine but like literally in the movie all his siblings are dark and short and slick and here come this ginger animal out of nowhere looking all out of place lol but no complaints I love him that's my booboo)

Iconic lines and I love how this scene was shot. We need to get back to making real movies (movies that have both a chekhov's gun and chekhov's cannoli).

Look how tiny he is. Are his feet swinging off that bench?

Mike on the fone with KKKay. She's telling him she loves him and he won't say it back. We're supposed to think he's embarrassed because he's in the kitchen with all the goons and doesn't want to be mushy in front of them, but I interpret scenes like this as Mike being unable to express his love because it is not in him to express. Kay and Mike remind me of Carm and Claire from The Bear. Where we're supposed to think the introverted, insular, moody man is not properly expressing themself to their thirsty girlfriend because he is too awkward, and struggles with communication, but in both cases it seems clear to me they can't and won't do certain things because they don't want to - simple as that.

Look how small he is in the seat. I should say right now that I'm a big time Mikey C stan. I don't defend any of his actions. If he does some sus shit (which is like everything he does), I simply turn the other cheek. I think he is, not to be dramatic, kind of a monster. I also relate to him (what), so that's probably why I stan and also why I refuse to criticize him. I don't relate to all that crazy shit he be doing. Mostly I just relate to him being a sort of goblin, a ghoul. A ghost person, but, like, in a sexy sense. (There's nothing sexy about Mike - he's smooth in his private parts and I don't know who Kay is tryna fool with them bastard changeling she tryna pass off as Corleones)

Please stand up. Does any1 ship Kay and Mike? I don't get it. Why are they in a relationship? Where did Mike even meet her lol. The only thing that makes sense to me is that Mike intentionally chose her because she is so different from his family. I don't believe Kay is Italian. I assumed she was a WASP. I don't think it's mentioned in the movie, but that's how she is coded.

I suppose it makes sense that Mike would go after someone like Kay, because when we open the first movie he is still in his mode of claiming he is nothing like the family, and trying to keep his distance. Still, there is no real love here. Does Kay not see? Why does she push to keep going with Mike? Maybe she has her own thing going on where she wants a guy who's so different from the men who come from her background. We don't really get much insight into her character, but that story I just made up actually made me interested in her for the first time ever lol. It'd be cool if the female characters were actually fleshed out even one percent, but I guess that's doing too much to expect that any woman in the movies do more than just stand around looking fucking stupid :)

This sandwich looks disgusting...but I still kinda want it..

Lmao the nurse is looking like BITCH I am not getting paid for this!

Enzo all oblivious, don't even know what he bouta walk into lol.

Sonny flirting with his little brother :')

I love this scene where they're slowly panning into Mike and the closer the camera focuses in on him the more evil and scary he looks. It's literally a transformation right before your eyes. Though, I'm Team Mike Was Always a Looney Toons. Anytime we see him before his father is shot he looks intense, ghoulish, possessed, gloomy, haunted, and strange lmao. This was always him, and now it's his time to show the girls what he's really working with.

I think it's very personal for him. Business is just an excuse. "Business" means money. And these people worship money, so it looks fine to kill over it. He knows what looks good to his people and what looks crazy. It actually, to me, seems less insane if he just simply wanted to avenge his father almost being murdered (and the cop cracking his jaw) and it wasn't about business at all, but that's not acceptable amongst their crew. Not outwardly, anyway, because all the vendettas seem personal to me and that's because they are lol. They just all try to act like it's about money, because money is God and it's fine to commit unhinged criminal acts in service to their God. These people are deranged, and it goes all the way back to the old country and their ways out there (you're booing me, but it's the truth).

Look at the gay little way in which he stands

mike acting mad dramatic with this broken jaw but somehow it is less absurd than brando's whatever he is doing lol

Sonny with his nips out at the dinner table #noclass

This was so Frank Always Sunny-coded

(derogatory)

Look at Mike in the restaurant scene with McCluskey and Sollozzo. He literally has murder in his eyes. The map of Sicily on his beautiful face. Be serious!! Like he finna kill y'all lol!! I heard that the studio didn't want Pacino (I literally did not fact check this and won't) and that's so crazy to me like he's so perfect in this role that it makes me feel ill

*meep*

Look at him. How did the cop and Sollozzo not see this and think, hmmm, this little freak look like he got something going on. Maybe they just decided he was autistic and Like That and didn't think too much about it? If I'm sitting down to dinner with my number 1 enemy and he is sitting zoned out at the table imma immediately assume a mass shooting spree is finna pop off. Like, huh? I get he was pat down prior to the sit down. B4 Mike went to the bafroom Sollozzo even pats him down again, so he clearly feels something is off, but like there's more ways than guns to kill people? Like why aren't you more afraid lol look at him there's nothing behind those eyes except murder. This scene is so funny for no reason.

mood

Why is Fredo so Lennie from Of Mice and Men coded?

I know Tom's German-Irish ass was looking at Sonny like Girl, PLEASE

WHOA!!

I wonder why the mama tells Sonny not to interfere [with Con and Carlo]? Like, hello, your daughter is in an abusive relationship? From what it seems, her relationship with Vito is not like that, so? Don't you want your daughter to be with someone nice who doesn't tell her to stfu all the time and, like, doesn't beat her with belts and stuff? Just curious.

does any1 else ship sonny and con? *FBI immediately rushes into my home and confiscates my ten year old chromebook*

No, cuz--GUNSHOTS. I actually own the book this movie/these movies are based off. I haven't gotten around to reading it yet, but Sonny/Con makes me curious. I need to read it and see sum.. There are parallels between her relationship with Carlo and how Sonny treats her. I am choosing to view it thru an incestuous lens instead of just thinking it's something as simple as Con is used to being told to shut the hell up by her eldest bro (whom she probably looks up to/defers to because of his status as an elder) and naturally she gravitates to a man who brings that same vibe, because it's what she's used to and also she's in love with her older brother and was wanting to replicate their dynamic once she sought a romantic relationship, only it does not seem she sought anything - Sonny literally hand-delivered Carlo to her. Did Sonny intentionally select a violent man to deliver to Con so they could almost chinese finger a romantic relationship with one another (when will I stop this)??

Sonny had no reason to do this lol. But I am curious why he didn't kill Carlo as soon as he heard that Carlo was beating on his baby sis? #hmm

mike getting married 2 seconds after meeting apollonia #KAYWHO?

kay, get a clue, LIKE

I love Tom, that's my baby, but he's so snakish to me lol. Well, he is a lawyer..

Imagine having these two as neighbors. I would call ICE idc

Ok, Carlo kinda cleared here. But imagine if Francis Ford Coppola knew women and actually gave Con something to do? I love Con in Godfather 3 cuz she's in the mix and I love seeing her being monster-adjacent. Imagine if she just stabbed Carlo to death here and immediately transforms into a sociopathic lunatic like Mike? Becomes like a hit man or something for the family. Idk the roles, but just knowing Con from movie three, I think it would have been fun to see her in the mix starting from the first film. She kills her man and that could be the catalyst for her wanting to join in the family and work for the business, no? I mean, these movies are a hundred years old so I don't know what I'm doing right now like FFC is not going back in to change the script or edit the movie or anything lol. I guess just daydreaming idk

They did my man dirty here, but that's what he gets for being racist and not killing Carlo the second he had the chance. We all make choices in life. #karma

I really liked Brando's performance here. I generally like his performance as Vito. It's strange, but it works. I couldn't imagine anyone else in the role tbh. It's giving iconic, idk.

Obsessed with the trend of gutwrenching scenes from films/TV becoming memes like we're really living in end times and it just feels cool to be a part of HISTORY, you know?

The one time Apple has lines and she cracks me up lol. Wish we had more time with her *screams internally*

Definitely curious how the rest of the trilogy would've played out with Apple by Mike's side in America. Feel like she would have left him straight away lmao

If I lost a baddie like Apollonia I would kill myself. I would kill everyone. I would slaughter the whole world. Mike becoming an unrepentant sociopath pretty much immediately after this makes total sense. He is me and I am HE

Thought my little goblin looked beautiful here. But also soulless and totally devoid of any light or conscience :)

Kay is so fucking stupid

Why is Michael LYING? Stop playing in this goofy's face. The fact he was back in America for over a year (prob tryna find an Apple replacement in the brothels or something) and then wants to turn up at Kay's job saying with zero emotion how much he needs and loves her. Kay is so goofy. Like doesn't she want a man who actually loves her, and also isn't a midget? We need a whole movie examining Kay's mental state cuz I'm lost.

Why is Kay getting in the car? Isn't she supposed 2 b takin care of them kids at the skool? Did she just leave them in the street?

carlo being from nevada explains so much about him (derogatory)

Vito talking shit about a posthumous Sonny shouldn't be as funny as it is

Moe Greene slapping Fredo around is honestly crazy to me. Like, who slaps someone? lol. That's insane to me. But honestly if I was Moe I'd've done the same - wrath of the Italian mafia on my head be damned. Like, Fredo is giving screwball, he's giving unserious. You gotta knock people like that around from time to time. It's kinda like when the TV remote won't work and you hit it on a hard surface to reactivate the batteries lol - kinda like that. Mike should be more understanding.

Nasty, dry ass, passionless kiss - don't ever show this to me again

I love this moment, it's so cute, but I always feel bad for the little baby actor lol like imagine being a small little child, barely out of the safety of mother's womb, and coming face to face with the demonic entity that is Marlon Brando - like the immense amount of trauma you would have to endure just from one glance. Hollywood needs to leave these innocent babies alone, for real.

This scene is so funny. Grandpaw deceased as hell, and Anthony just having the time of his life, none the wiser.

Get the ribbon out of the baby's face smh. #protectthechildren

Michael looking evil as hell in church, lying, talking about he renouncing Satan. Sis, you are Satan, let's be serious.

This is my favorite Godfather death across all three movies (definitely not weird at all to have a "favorite death"). It's so disrespectful and Moe is so vulnerable when the gunman walks in, laying out on the massage table with his glasses off, like it's just so sick and Michael is CRAZY lol

Cool shot

This guy has a great face. You don't really see faces like this anymore. Also love how he's asking Tom to help him like LMAO Tom does not give a shit, Tom is a snake highkey lowkey!!

Another great death scene (tho it took them FAR too long to get rid of Carlo, imo), and I love the way it's shot

Love this scene with Connie acting "hysterical", screaming at Mike for yanking her man. I love how she was spitting on him and Michael is just sitting there with absolutely no expression on his face. What a lunatic.

Something about this scene made me get an idea in my head that Mike and Al Neri were lovers. I don't watch anything normal, so it's probably just me being mentally ill, but go back and watch all the movies and just look at them together in scenes. And Al makes it all the way to movie 3, untouched. They're like two old queens in their leisure years in Godfather 3. Don't be shy, go rewatch the movies and tell me they aren't giving longtime companion vibes. (If you disagree with me it means you're homophobic, in denial, and secretly a faerie)

Literally why does Kay want to be with Michael? Is she...mentally challenged? Because she asks Mike if he killed Carlo and Mike tells her no--a boldfaced, obvious lie--and she just accepts it like the dummy she is. If Kay is slow I will take back all my criticism, for fear of being charged with some sort of hate crime or abusing the disabled charges. But I just don't get their relationship at all, tho at least from Mike's perspective I can understand he is hardened now after losing Apple and is just like Whatever and marrying the next closest thing just to have this little Family Man farce going. But Kay doesn't strike me as deranged like Mike, so why doesn't she want something real? If only the female characters were actually well-fleshed out and I didn't have to ask all these angry questions that will never be satisfied with an answer :')

Wasn't I talking before about how Mike is so autistic-coded to me? Or was I saying it about Al Pacino? Idk, but in my head I've been thinking Mike gives autist vibes. And I was already thinking this, then this scene came up, where Vito's mom was saying how he doesn't speak and is "dumb". We know Vito is not slow, so this made me think he was possibly autistic. Which actually would explain a lot, especially when we see De Niro's version of Vito. Something about how he internalizes his surroundings and uses that to his benefit as he ascends to the Don position. Even the other Young Vito, when he comes to America, something about how he moves gives very autistic vibes to me. Not slow, like he is dumb, but definitely very internal and watching things and taking everything in. Idk, but if Vito is autistic it would make sense that at least one of his children would be. Honestly, all the children come across as neurodivergent in different ways, but it could just be that they're Italian idk lmao

Why did Vito's hot mom do this? She should've sliced and dipped. This pissed me off smh. Italians always prioritize being dramatic over everything else lmao like can you please focus, mama

This makes me so emotional that the village people helped Vito escape. Like they really didn't have to do that lol it's so sweet :')

Yung Vito giving us that Classic Corleone Autistic Stare lmao. But watching Baby Vito travel to America all by his lonesome kinda choked me up. He's so alone and that's so terrifying. I couldn't imagine making that sort of journey as a child and having literally no one there to guide me. But it doesn't surprise me that someone having that type of beginning (not just being alone in America, but witnessing the death of his entire family right in fucking front him) would go on to eventually engage in all sorts of violent, criminal activity. Like not to be judgy or anything lol, but being in the mafia is kinda crazy lmao but look at where he's coming from, so no surprise there.

Okay! This transition from Yung Vito to Anthony Present Day showcasing Anthony inherited his grandfather's love of singing yes pour this all over me I am feeeeding (wut)

ALSO! Wait. Was Vito's mom lying to the Don back in Italy saying Vito doesn't know how to talk lmao. He's defo Confirmed!Autistic to me if he never talked but DID enjoy singing. But now I don't know if Vito's mom was just saying that to the don back in Italy simply to spare her son's life. #Hmmm

They cookin' up plans to bring my baby Vincenzo into this world.

Love this for them, but, more especially, love this for ME.

Me tawkin about Al Pacino

Does anyone else ship Con and Johnny Fontane? lol

What is the explanation for why Vito talks like this and has that weird jaw thing going on? My number one assumption is that Brando was just being Brando and that there is no explanation lol. But when I was watching Baby Vito travel into America and get examined he looked so sickly and I was thinking oh maybe he had an illness and it affected his mouth area or voice or something. But the most reasonable explanation is that Brando just decided to do this and Francis Ford Coppola was like um what are you doing and Brando just shrugged and now here we have this iconic, legendary performance #that's #history

Same

It was so funny to me that Fredo was invited to this meeting like who invited blood lol

Just girly tings

Woltz just snoozing in a pool of blood lmao like was he drugged how did he sleep thru that. There's legit like a lake of sticky, cold blood that he's sloshing around in, like wake up, old man! Who tf sleeps thru that pleazzz

Santino looks so sexy and fine as hell getting yelled at by papa :)

RIP, Big Luke #gone2soon

Fredo so useless, chile. But honestly, he's the most relatable - let's be serious about that.

Me after eating dairy.

Me when no Santino :(

The iconic "I know it was you, Fredo" scene. I loved this shot in particular - Mike looks crazy. If I was Fredo I'd be scared as hell. But also, how dumb can you be to betray this lunatic? Like, I don't feel bad for you. Fredo was really coddled. If he felt like shit about himself he could've worked hard and proven he was to be taken serious. Instead he was doing backdoor schemes, like, not like that. But he's an idiot, so, you can't really expect too much. Anyways, #RIP!

Chile, Mike is giving horror film at this point.

This transition! Babbbyyyyyyyyyyyy #that's #cinema

And pretty sure they transition from Mike and all his horror movie bullshit to Vito on a totally different vibe in the past. Specifically, Vito is fretting over a sickly Fredo, meanwhile in "present day" Mike got designs on that big headed boy, and a third child on the way has been nipped in the bud. #sad

Fredo being a useless, sickly, large-head ass, rodent troll from birth is giving consistency teas. And really, he is the most me-coded of them all. Like, I can't drag him too much. I don't think I'd betray my brobro or anything like that, but just his general useless aesthetic makes me hurt becuz I am like wait, That's Me. It's both wonderful and sick to see yourself (a strange black woman) represented in probably the whitest, most bro-coded movie I have ever seen in my life. We're all connected at the end of the day, and it's really a beautiful thing--once you get past all the sick-feeling--it's really a beautiful thing.

When a fat old thieving parasite tries to hit you up for $600 of your hard-earned dubloons you made selling stolen goods and you hit them with that "sure thing, chief" autistic smirk (u will murder him)

Pleaz Vito when Don Fanucci I think touched his cheek. But can we talk about Bobert Money as Young Vito, like his peformance is so good. I feel like it really mirrors Brando's performance and this is the ultimate Pacino vs De Niro movie for me like y'all are talking about Heat. HEAT?! Be serious. It's Godfather 2. Two Italianish trolls giving the performances of their lives and I really don't know who comes out on top. I will say, for GF2, I slightly prefer the sequences that take place in the past. Mike and his horror movie vibes in present day makes me uncomfy lmao. I like the cozy, old-timey vibes as we follow Young Vito on the come-up, like just the way those scenes are shot in comparison to the scenes in "present-day" (which are still beautiful/sexy/great). But the scenes in the past are just slightly more special. But anywho who was prettiest in their prime: Pacino or De Niro? What if I said there was a secret third contender and he was the winner and that it was Peter Falk.

Love this scene and how it was shot. I feel like Vito killing Don Fanucci parallels Mike killing Sollozzo and the cop. Vito seemed smoother with his, tho, while Mike was a mess and giving goblin vibes lol. I like seeing how they're so similar yet so different simultaneously. It's giving father and son vibes idk.

When that greaseball slumlord was scared, shook, panicking. Vito had 'em shaking and quaking, baby.

Obsessed with Mike's ghoulish appearance in this movie. He really looks scary as hell, and it's to the degree that it's hard for me to understand how most of any of the characters are sincerely interacting with him. Like it's giving clear villain vibes. Though he's in a position where most of the characters interacting are interacting because they are forced to. Like if they don't everything will be taken away. And that's pretty neat :)

This is a great scene. Love the way it's shot and the acting. Fredo such a loser, chile, and Mike giving us his best idgaf autistic stare down vibes. Both Fredo and Mike are at their most Fredo and Mike in this scene (derogatory)

Kay was such a Karen in this scene. Look at his face. Mike probably looked the scariest in this scene to me than he has in any other scene in the movie. Just blatantly filled to the brim with rage and murderous intent and Kay is just going on and on about how she killed his child (who was potentially a boy who could've succeeded Mike's throne and not some limp-wristed, useless creative like stupid Anthony) and how she hates him and how short he is and how much of a little goblin ghoul troll person he is and blah blah blah. Like girl, SHUT UP! Know when to shut your damn mouth! This man is a damned lunatic! Be quiet!! Just crazy and it was just giving Karen to me. Now you gotta have supervised visitation with your dumb kids lol. Just an idiot.

Yung Sonny look bad as hell lol. It's giving Bebe's Kid idk lol

Sorry this was funny to me. He was looking at the olive oil like okay...

It was satisfying to see Vito finally avenge the murders of his family, but also I hate the guy basically lived his whole life out. Like he was chilling and just living and eating good and was killed when it looked like he was already knocking on death's door, so kind of unsatisfying as well. But I liked that Vito was able to do that because I know it meant a lot to him.

Mike sitting in this dark ass room with his kids - he's so the antithesis of Vito. Like how did Mike get like this? It's giving dark horse. Fredo said his mom used to joke that he (Fredo) was delivered on her doorstep by gypsies (how very Italian to be saying slurs to your darkest-skinned child), but if any1 was dropped off by gypsies it was Sonny because he is a ginger literally no one else in the family is a ginger lol, but if we're talking about spirit and personality, Mike is the one most dropped-off-by-gypsies-coded. Like where did he even come from? He's so dark and scary. Though I can bet if we got more background tea on the Corleone/Adonlini family line we'd find some strange, fucked-up ancestor exactly like Mike down to the boots who was hung in the town square for unspeakable crimes against the singular town goat or something

Con pleading for Mike to forgive Fredo made me feel bad for him a little bit. He's just a little guy, an idiot. It honestly might be a crime, like, to kill your brother just cuz he's intellectually disabled idk (um, yeah, murder is illegal, so true)

Mike hugging Fredo while giving his boo Al Neri the go-head to put a bullet straight thru the medical mystery that is his mentally challenged brother's gallon-sized dome. An evil, nasty man.

me on my period

Love this shot. Mike is an evil, nasty man. And he's so on his own little island. Which is honestly relatable to me (just being isolated for being freakish, not the murdering your brother part)

Still so stunned that Sonny Boy was the one who brought that demon into Connie's life. It's honestly giving romantic gesture, like I don't know what else you want me to say *shrugs*. He can't be with Connie because related so he delivers a little doppelganger to her doorstep. It's romantic, and if you disagree, well, you are wrong.

Sonny dragging Mike for being a droop-ball. I love that his gloomy, ghoulishness is canon. Like it's not just me saying anti-Italian slurs lol like everyone else sees it, too.

He is so alone and isolated. Imagine being an introverted little freak in a loud, ghetto ass Italian family. The #trauma!

This transition... *kills self*

#mood #me

Vincenzo Mancini being introduced and one of the very first things we're seeing is him flirting with literal children :')

This is my favorite character across all three movies, btw :)

When an actual child tricked you into flirting with her and you find out she's your literal first cousin and also the daughter of the head of your organized crime family :)

Johnny Fontane serenading Miss Connie yet again lmao. They will know each other in every universe.

Where THE FUCK is Tom?! Talkin' bout Tom's son. Who cares?! Where's Tom! Be serious! And I know Robert Duvall was alive when this was filmed (he is still to this day!) - so what gives? The pay was probably poor, I guess? Also this movie is kinda janky and bad lmao so maybe he passed? Idk, but I'm distraught.

Not me shipping Connie and Big Vin just like I shipped her with his papa. No, but like, it's not just me (it is) - they have a sexual energy between them? And Vinny came straight from Santino's ballsack (Con's first love). Like it's not just me (it is and you need to be arrested)!

Zasa pooping his pants after Big Mike called him a dog!!

Vinny is so sexy for gnawing on Zasa's ear like an animal. They're definitely trying to drive the point home that Vinny takes after his crazy ass papa. It's kind of camp tho and not subtle at all like they are able to achieve in the far superior first two films. But listen. Godfather 3, and I'm not joking, is unironically my favorite of all the three movies. The other two don't have Vin. And some might say this is a good thing. Tell me who those people are. I will find them, and I will hurt them with hammers.

Aw, look at Vinny's mommy :') I liked that Mike let Vin be in the family picture, that was so sweet of him, but I thought it was sad he didn't ask Vin's mother to be in the photo too lol kinda rude, but I guess she is/was a mistress so it's a little tacky I guess, but it's kind of tackier to ask her son to be in the photo right in front of her and not even acknowledge her idk

Love how Bridget Fonda was in this movie for all of five minutes and then we never see her again. Kinda mimics her career. A lady/nepo baby always knows when to bow out, and that's something I can really respect.

Y'all don't understand. This is my favorite movie. You don't understand. When I see shit like Con and Vin standing next to each other whispering and scheming, like, it just does something to me. This is probably what it feels like when Star Wars heads are watching the movies and Shit Glupo and Kicks McAstronaut meet up on Planet Zorp to zap the Snot Monster. I never thot I was one of those ugly dweebs, and I am not lol, but when Godfather 3 is on I'm a different person, I'm one of those ugly dweebs with chronic post nasal drip stankin' up a basement. It feels good but I also kinda feel like I should be put on a list..

Sofia when her papa cast her in this movie

Mike always lying lol.

George Hamilton is so Anthony Perkins coded. Is anyone else seeing this?

I thought this was a nice detail. They show the senator earlier mispronouncing Corleone, but I think him saying it here shows he knew how to pronounce it correctly all along and was just being racist and saying it wrong intentionally. So pilgrim-coded.

"Clean country" - yeah, when it was just the indigenous. Then you and your nasty, non ass washing "people" came over with the raping and pillaging. Like, sir, get a clue.

Say it!

Frank Pentangeli is so funny. So ghetto to be drinking out of a water hose at a party.

Yep, just me shipping Connie and Michael now. *sighs*. You're tired of me? Imagine how tired I feel.

Tell me these not two homos bout to wrap up the night and go take a bath together? You wouldn't dare look me in the eye and tell me that's not the vibes of this scene.

This was genuinely cute. Also detecting a *little* shade from Anthony towards his papa lol

y does hymen have his legs all open in front of guests, pussy all out, leg hanging on the edge of the chair like some slut - u can't trust ppl like this

(voice trembling) *tears my face off :)*

Mike standing in Pentangeli's house like some creature. He *loves* giving horror movie.

This is insane.

Vito giving monogamous king (it's also giving autistic hyperfixation but what do I know!)

This scene I don't like because I suspect (not sure if it was obvious and I'ze dumb as hell) that Mike arranged for this to happen so they'd get the senator in their pocket and quiet him down. But why did an innocent person have to die for all that? Like it's never that serious. I might be wrong and the senator really killed the prostitute, not sure. Either way, #RIP Nameless and Faceless Queen :'(

Roth knew better than that 2 be laying out with his shirt off and titties out

Fredo is so slapstick coded

Did Mike already know here that Fredo betrayed him? Mike plays the Fredo thing mostly cold, but I genuinely believe he was heartbroken (yeah, he literally said lol) to learn his brother betrayed him. I feel he was having initial issues with accepting that Fredo had went behind his back but that he always knew. Wanna die :)

Hymen Froth with his titties out yet again

When an old jew with his titties out accuses u of killing his bestie and u hit them with that idgaf dead-eyed autistic stare

Mike having these dramatic movie ass Shelby in Steel Magnolias diabetes attack scenes lol *knows nothing about diabetes so maybe it's realistic?*

My fave irrelevant character across all the movies

That's right, Sofia. BEHIND the camera looks great on you :)

So cute that Mike kept Anthony's drawing all these years :')

Why was she so bawdy here? Why is Con such a MILF in movie 3 and why, specifically, is she such a slut for her nephew??

Did anyone else jump when Kay got in the cab and Mike turned around in the front seat? Genuine jump scare vibes. He is so horror movie coded, even in 3 where he's supposed to be past his prime and more sanded down and diminished. Just a creepy little goblin man. At least he's consistent.

Movie 3 needs way more confounding, sexually-charged scenes between Vin and his Auntie Con

Oldheads always randomly dropping sum horrific backstory on u like it's normal

Which wife? Get serious! Why is Mike tryna get that old thang back with Kay? Is he forgetting their history? His crazy ass is way too casually dismissive about all kinds of fucked up criminal and violent shit chile. But that's oldheads in general. Kay in this scene crying like a goofy like this man ever loved or respected her. Be for real!

When Vincenzo was sworn in as Don and made an official Corleone!!! Proud of my baby, idc!!

This scene was giving Farrelly Brothers lmao such an unserious film

Me when no Godfather 4. What gives? I wanna see a movie that covers Vinny's reign as Don. He would destroy the family name in WEEKS - I NEED IT!

I genuinely ship them. No matter how illegal. When I watch a movie with like Europeans or like South Americans and there are incest dynamics I just shrug and racistly assume that's normal in these people's home countries idk. I respect Vin and Mary for acknowledging they were cousin baes and just going for it. Unlike the scary ass oldheads in the family (cough Con and Sonny cough) they decided to prioritize their love and damn what anyone else has to say! (I'm mostly joking, but also mostly serious. The weirdest thing to me about their dynamic is that Mary seems like a kid and Vin is giving grown man so that's yucky but the incest stuff is fine!)

Al giving baby girl vibes on the train over to kill that archbishop :')

So unserious - why would the hitman fall for this lol

Me sleeping peacefully knowing Vincent Corleone (nee Vincenzo Mancini) never did a single thing wrong in his life!

Cool death, but also super stupid and y'all not touching Moe Greene's death so STOP TRYING

Me when Mary has lines..

Al Pacino silent screaming at the end for like five minutes is so fucknefkjeejkning fffunny

Vin giving us greasy, disheveled bob after losing the love of his life (his underaged teen cousin)

Me thinking what it'd be like if Vin and Sonny existed simultaneously to embark on a father/son reign of terror 2gether and how I'll never get to see that in my or any lifetime :)

Genco shout out! Also Big Vin and his child cousin bride look like a genuinely cute couple here?? idk y'all..

Chile... Vin has the pinched, rat-like face of a conquistador - he is my number 1 godfather trilogy baby girl, and it's not even close. Me and Mary, we are the same. This why I'm not really dragging her like I should lol

So funny. Vin was right tho, they should've gotten rid of Zasa straight away. Mike was so not himself letting Zasa rock like that, but I figure it was cuz Zasa was still in them streets and in movie 3 Mike was tryna be "legit" or what have you. But it was so funny how like every scene Vin was like "We need to KILL ZASA" and Mike is like screaming at him to shut up lol. Cute uncle/nephew vibes idk

This is how my stupid ass would get caught up lol

Loved seeing Vin protect and save his little goblin uncle. Like, it gets me emotional, gets me teary-eyed. Mike prob deserves to die tho for all that shid he did lol Vinny don't need to be doing all that but I think it's cute that he does :')

Sew kewt :') Him just like his papa I want to cry! God, this movie is not subtle at all but I don't care I love it :/

Uncle Mike screaming at his nephew to shaddup :') (he like immediately has a diabetes stroke after this too lmao)

Me with McGriddles. Every time I eat one I feel sick and swear Never Again. But then I forget and want one again and the cycle begins anew.

Me watching Godfather 3 during the scenes when there's nothing involving Vinny having inappropriate incestuous dynamics with all of his family members (like be 4real what's this pope shit get serious!)

What is this..

Why would Francis Ford Coppola write for his daughter to have this relationship on screen and also why would he want to direct this???? #curious

Zasa!

Con looked so cunt here. Like she's serving in this movie. I liked that she was in the mix in Movie 3 and would have loved even more. She gives demented vibes like her brobro Mike and I wanna see more. Perhaps in Movie 4? (no one is more delusional)

more old man young boy yaoi sigh

No one is more unserious than Mary (After Fredo, she is the most relatable to me - just gorgeous and dumb as a box of bricks chile)

Vin shaving his uncle is so romantic? I mean, nice, normal family vibes or whatever *rolls eyes* *is immediately apprehended by the police*

Okay, the parallels between Mike/Apple and Vin/Mary. Aggressively heavy-handed and embarrassingly delusional but also *screams*

Anyway here are random notes i took out of context, as if there wasn't enough nonsense. I didn't have screencaps to put them with so I will just dump them here. Hopefully, no one will ever see this post and it'll be like screaming in the middle of a forest. The only living beings who'll receive my cries of agony will be the trees and the earth from which they grow. (fingers crossed!):

-is micycle ever happy? like what does he even care about? wut motivates him? [the movie posits it's family first, but it honestly gives walter in breaking bad like in no way am i buying ur doing all this ~for the family~, like, ur just insane - face it]

-vin saying "i'm your son" (wanna remove my skin so bad!!!)

-does con not understand mike had fredo killed? can't tell. cuz she knew 4 sure he had carlo killed..

-fredo sweet? or dumb? defends paulie calling out sick all the time, congratul8s mike on joining the service when he didn't have 2 join - dunno

-"come on, do you think i'd make my sister a widow" mike always lying and manipulating lol

-we never meet connie's kids?? 

-a godfather 4 with vin as the don and con as his right hand like advisor are you serioussss and he becums all hard like mike becuz he lost his true love, his cousin, his apple (plzzz)

-ship vin with mikey [vin is the son kay aborted]

-vinny's fake ass acting with don altobello (like it was genuinely bad lol)

-why is kay in all three movies?

-"i swear on the lives of my children, give me a chance 2 redeem myself, and i will sin no more" (mike) (um)

-"i'm ur son, command me in all things" (this is explicitly homo as hell like y'all tryna make me the villain and that's not the truth it's francis ford coppola)

-"ur just like my father" *does* vinny kinda transform from sonny into mike over course of film?

-crazy how all this ghetto shit happened the night of anthony's debut on the stage lmao. ghetto ass italians #closetheborders!!

-hmm i've seen two different versions of this movie [gf3] i think. the one where mike falls face-first into the ground and dies and that's how the movie ends is way better but okay

-"i had a lot of girlfriends wen i was 15" "8 year olds?" "especially 8 year olds" HUH?

-how cum vin doesn't know who mary is? wouldn't he have seen a photo at least of his cousins? i know he is a bastard but still..

-sofia's acting reminds me of sammy from curb ur enthusiasm lol

-frank sinatra stand-in always crooning to con. mike tells him he's going into the back to listen to tony bennett lmao

-plz y does vinny have a cuban accent (smiling from ear to ear every time he is on the screen)

-mike tawking bout he "needs more laywers" where the fuck is tom (he's deceased but like wtf)

-wen kay showed up 2 the hospital are we meant to be like emotionally invested in that? mike and kay have like zero chemistry lol

-y does vito reject the narcotics game knowing all the families will want to get in on it and that it's dangerous for him (and family) not to also join in?

-apollonia was base human trafficked into being mike's wife but they're still my ship

-mike basically threatening that man for his daughter's hand in marriage

-apple like never speaks [the "writing" for the women characters..]

-controversial take, but wen carlo calls connie a "spoiled guinea brat", is he lying? *crowd gasps* *with sum scattered confirmational applause mixed in tho..* -re: carlo: it's insane to beat literally any1 for any reason, but beating ur pregnant wife violently with a belt is unhinged. but again, beating any1. and again, y did sonny not just kill this dude to begin with? in what way is carlo relevant? introduce connie 2 sum other italian bastard there's like a billion of them - america was letting literally any1 over in from europe to boost up the white numbers to keep blacks at the bottom chile there's far more where carlo came from lol put his ass in the ground. it's honestly giving misogynistic vibes that he wasn't murdered immediately but also i feel it was because he was viewed as so irrelevant, which goes back to me thinking it's misogyny because he is viewed that way becuz he is the girl one's husband. anyway, at the end of the day, i'm glad i'm not italian lmao. (kidding!) (mostly..)

-losing two baddies (apple and sonny) back to back. if i were mike i would become a great, big, nasty, evil man and yeah, that's pretty much how it plays out

-wut happened to clemenza was he hit with a heart attack gun? 

-"that's my family, kay, it's not me" (sure sweetie)