Dangerous Child (2001)

I love a good made for TV movie about domestic violence. I had never heard of this movie until I randomly came across it on my youtube homepage. I think things might be getting very bleak for me if this is what I'm just casually stumbling upon while browsing youtube. The algorithm said Yes, I have the perfect thing for this lunatic. And the algo really knows me because this movie is right up my dark and shitty alley. It's honestly chilling. I would make changes but I'm in my thirties and it's like if I was ever gonna be normal I would've had to have been electroshocked sometime around middle school so I think I'll just keep being terrible and concerning. It's worked okayish for me. I mostly have no feeling left :)

Anyway, I planned to be normalish about this. I was just gonna dig into this domestic violence TV experience and not make it anyone else's problem, but then I saw that Delta Burke was going to be walking around the entire time in her finest Dress Barn fashions and I knew that was not going to happen. So here's this blog <3

*threatening copyright-free strings intensify*

It's Thee Dangerous Child's birthday yaaay! What the fuck is that cake? Is that supposed to be a basketball going into a hoop? I love how the cake is a mockery of the child zee danger because that thick in the waist white boy aint making no type of hoop lmao.

Miss Delta is such a slay. She gives like a non-evil Kris Jenner, so instead of prostituting her coven of weird, slow children she makes too-sweet cakes with shitty frosting designs and then takes everyone to the mall to shop at like Land's End for a treat. She really was my main reason for deciding to write about the movie, I was like five minutes into it and instead of being scared by the titular evil teenager with threatening family annihilator energy I'm like wow Miss Delta werk! I really have barely a brain left, but honestly I'm fine with it :)

THEE Man of the Hour, our Titular DANGEROUS CHILD. Sir, this is a teenager. And a white one, from the early-aughts. Lock those gun cases, expeditiously!

Here we see him like getting ready for school or something and he looks super evil and insane right off the bat (or maybe he's just a white teenager and that's just how they look idk) and he's like...putting on some gay necklace? Gay necklaces were a big thing if I can recall correctly from my own early-aughts shitty child and teenage hood, but he really looks stupid as fuck and I think it's a great harbinger for nightmarish events to come <3

This was triggering. So glad I'm not a preteen/teen anymore doing my daily morning acne checks in the mirror at like 7am right before school *shudders*. I do think it's really funny that one scene that triggers anger from Sir Danger Child is his hot mom being like "r u upset about your bad skin?". Like he gets really mad when she mentions it and I genuinely remember those own moments for myself of people, especially adults, mentioning my shitty greasy skin and I'm like 12 and want to kill myself every day so it's like thanks :) Honestly every1 should be thankful most teenagers aren't insane, generationally-cursed white boys because there would be like...so many more shootings *crowd booing slowly beginning* Like just don't talk about a teen's acne if you want to live or don't want to get shoved into a wall that's all I'm sayin'!

I think the Danger Child is gifted like a blues anthology for his b-day? I was confused why he was excited but I think it's just my lack of general knowledge concerning music. Like he listed off some names that excited him but the only ones recognizable to me were the Carter Family, and I was under the impression they were a country act?? Not that it's weird a teen would be into older music, a lot of teens listen to stuff from way b4 they were born, or their parents put them on or whatever, but it just seemed random to me like the writers were like yeah the abusive teen who plays basketball with flipped up bangs is really getting it to some June Carter Cash he is smoking reefer to this shit he is doing the Irish Jerk to these Carter Family Jawns and it's like you know what, sure

Me when my teen son wears a gay necklace, gets tears in his eyes when he has a zit, and creams over a Bonnie Raitt cover

Oh, Miss Delta with this Poncho Slay. This look is giving My Teen Son has a Scary Thug Friend Who's White But He's The Bad Kind Becuz He Listens to Rap. It's really funny tho that the mom is anti-rap. I feel like her being against rap has like nothing to do with the events in the movie? I can't tell if the movie was positing that listening to rap makes white teens evil and hit their mom or if it was kind of a red herring, like saying the mom was sort of concerned and focused on the wrong things, right? Becuz cum to find out your son is a piece of shit because his daddy is and that aint got nothing to do with rap (mostly)

Danger Child's Thug Friend who blasts gangsta rap from his car and like when he appears you think he'll be a ~bad influence~ but he's barely relevant. This is the most Canadian-Looking Adult Teen I've probably ever seen in one of these movies. If I saw my child hanging out with this "kid" I would just instantly assume my child was gay and send him to military school. A gay teen who wears necklace being sent straight away to military school as soon as he shows up with his thuggish bone white "bestie" who listens to the I hate bitches and emotional regulation genre of rap would've had this movie wrapped up within the first five minutes or so. Soon as my son starts wearing a necklace and hanging with adult-looking teens who listen to DL crackbaby rappers I'm sending them straight overseas to be killed immediately on the frontlines *doesn't know or understand anything about wars or military voice*

This screencap shows nothing lol but in this scene Big Delta Da Don is telling Danger Child he needs to look after his little brother (Derek from Degrassi) or something and Danger Child snaps He's not my kid! and he kind of ate that but at the same time he's like a white teen yelling at his mom who seems pretty nice and she's also super hot and it's just like call the police LOWKEY

Oooohh, Delta's slay in this scene when she's calling Danger Child's school from her office to see what's going on with his basketball stuff. He lied about basketball being cancelled so it's the beginnings of some trouble with her white teenage son. I wouldn't even wait for shit to get ramped up, like at this point you have a white male teen in your household and he done already snapped on you, at your place of work mind you, like it's time to just send him to boarding school or ship him off to Sea Org or something - like whatever you gotta do, just get him GONE

I don't know what the mom's job is. I think she and Wig decorate houses? Or maybe they're realtors? It's some random Woman Job they give FEMALES in these movies just to have them have somewhere to go and so when whoever's doing domestic violence on them can show up and cause a scene. They just need like a second location outside of the house to make things spicy. But like babe what's that on your head. Why is Delta giving Slay and you're giving George Washington Teenage Years?? Y'all not collecting the same check? Delta is kind of shady for not helping her homegirl out. She's not sharing her vendor and has this hag rolling up to work looking like she just got her hair done down at the mortician's. This simply won't do...

THIS was the look that made me start screencapping the movie. I was like, I HAVE to record these fits, this is a moment that cannot pass without me making a bunch of weird comments about it on my stupid, shitty blog. Delta's mall drag in this movie is so fierce, so stunning. Her TJ Maxx/Kohls slay! The Talbot's cup runneth over! The Dress Barn gaggery of it all rendering me speechless (if only)!

Me anytime the deranged teen boy started fixin to whoop on his hot BBW milk mama instead of giving her weird kisses and hugs like a normal momma's boy oughta do!

He's really hootin' and hollerin at the woman who brought him into this world. See, largely I'm against child abuse, but sometimes, maybe it's OKAY. Like every now and again maybe it's warranted. Delta, go into your closet and get some weird braided belt that I know you got in there and get to work!

Delta is killing the My Gay Teen Son Just Violently Shouted at Me dramatic pose in the hallway look. No one's doing it like her.

Her Bjork slay at the police station (she's been charged with child abuse, so VERY on the nose, reference-wise, but she NAILS IT)

This was giving Liz Taylor and MJ from the backside. Like if after their roadtrip to KFC with Marlon Brando, they had sex while Marlon watched and ate drumsticks and Michael gets pregnant and this is the thing he ends up giving birth to. This movie is operating on a level that I cannot even comprehend

There's a scene where the dad is yelling at Danger Child and waving a spoon around while he's yelling and you can kinda see where he gets all the looney shit from. I thought the movie was pretty subtle in showing that the violent behavior was learned. I mean, idk, subtle for a TV movie of the week, anyway. Still kind of hammy but they kind of slowly revealed over the course of the movie how the dad being insane and not having regulation over his emotions affected not just Danger Child but also his other son as well. Which is, you know, how these things go. I think a lot of people who would watch a movie like this wouldn't have necessarily made that connection for themselves in their own lives if they've ever dealt with a domestic violence situation, whether they were a victim or the perpetrator, so I liked how the movie showed it's usually a cycle and that the behavior has to be taught/passed down

*stops being fake-serious immediately* Her beat in this scene oh my god!

Delta giving Realtor? Home Decorator? slay in this scene, who's surprised. Wish I could hype up her home girl but that wig just brings everything way down. You look a mess, girl! Wait am I being totally evil? What if she has like cancer or something? I mean, that's no excuse for the insane wig tho. I know it's 2001 but come on now. I know Raquel Welch had some better options than that! Honestly I'm being so rude like at least she doesn't have a teenage son whipping and whooping all over her every time she walks through the door of her own home. Her wig is uneven and is giving plastic teas but at least she has peace and can rest in her femininity, unlike...well, some others

Miss Delta Werk has a new man sniffing around her skirts and he's way finer than her old one. It's giving she upgraded! He does look hella Canadian about the face, though, but hey nobody's perfect!

This wig. MA'AM. Well, at least she's not going to have to fight off a wild, thick-bodied teen when she walks into the house after getting off work from whatever their work is. That wig is giving very much lonely spinster. Aint nobody finna be at her house, PERIOD.

Danger Child on a gay date at the arcade with his homo thug

Two nancy boys pretending to be attracted to teen girls. We've all been there!

Super-straight and extremely-normal chalk teen boy stealing candles from like some non-descript Canadian-cosplaying-as-American version of Bath and Body Works. Just ur normal boyly teen things <3

Oooooh, bitch. Delta's slay in this scene when she answers the phone (a CELLPHONE in the early 00s!!) while at work with an important client and it's the mall rent-a-cops calling her about her son stealing shit from their shitty little stores and now he in mall jail. Oh, her serve. I would not waste this serve picking my son up from mall jail. No, sir, I'm going down to Dave & Buster's and picking me up a rough neck or maybe I'll go to the mall but hit Sears Photos FIRST and get some cute little photos off in this blazer and maybe after get some Auntie Anne's FOR MYSELF ONLY and then and only then would I think about picking up my bad ass son like you cannot be this gorgeous worrying about some bad ass crazy teenager. Like literally Sea Org is right there. Sea Org is still happening like I don't care how many Mission Impossibles that deranged midget makes to distract us. Throw that white boy IN THERE!!

This minivan is giving me PTSD.

Danger Child lounging in the bed casually sippin' on some soda after being picked up from mall jail. Chile I woulda whooped his little white behind to the dark meat underneath. He kinda slayed tho. Like mother like daughter, chile

I just knew he was finna throw this glass. I was like why he randomly wanna drink a soda now when he wasn't drinking no soda before? And sure enough, here he go tossing it across the room into the wall. There's always some bullshit war going on, they always needin' bodies to sacrifice for literally no reason - Delta need to send this boy to them people, post haste!

Oh lord he got the Mass Shooter glare going. I'm so glad I'm not a white woman and could never birth a deranged caucasian teen boy. Like there's a lot wrong with me but at least I don't got that going on. *thanks God* *he sends flies up through my toilet that I can't stop by putting the toilet seat down, they just push the seat up even if I secure the top down*

The pyscho teen giving his mama the mommy-annihilator glare shifted Delta's wig a bit. They're having a diva off, I fear :/

I really thought she was bringing that broom in to clean up the glass for Mr. Crazy. She just set it next to the wall, I guess for him to use to clean it up himself. Ma'am, if you don't start beating him with that smh

Miss Diva giving I'm in a DV Situation with my Psycho Teen Son But Don't Bother Me til' I've Had My Morning cup of Java!! Teas

Obsessed with how ugly mother of Danger Child's fit is in the scene where she and her business partner go shopping for stuff for their whatever their job is. It's so ugly clothes only for fat girls vibes. And yet, Delta still manages to serve. It's so crazy, like why do I wanna look like this? I would look so fucking stupid if I tried to recreate this look. Why is she always giving lowkey MJ and Liz Taylor had a baby together abomination teas? This is what an icon looks like, ladies and dimwits

Oh, mother in whatever that shirt is. I wish I had a better screencap because she looks so stunning in this hideous top. I'm pretty sure she repeats this fit later so maybe I'll find a better screencap and can drool efficiently (what). We love an outfit repeater. A true fashion DIVA (this movie is about domestic violence and is super-serious and fucked up, btw)

This mug. You wouldn't know looking at Miss Pretty Face that she was being both physically and verbally abused at home by her own zitty, shitty child. Flawless from head to toe. But this is a lesson that you should never judge a bad bitch by its cover. Sometimes bad bitches are being whooped by the bebe's kids they gave birth to in their own home. Keep that in mind. Bad bitches are struggling, too.

Instead of beating up his mama, Danger Child needs to be spending more time practicing on how to not kiss like a grandma lol

Danger Child cutting his eyes because Mama's New Man has stepped onto the scene. This is the first time he's discovering his mom has a new beau. I was trying to ignore it to avoid arrest and persecution, but...there was like some weird incesty vibes, right? I don't know if it's relevant (is anything you ever talk about??), but I watched this movie and then like a day later I was watching ER (I'm binging it for the first time after watching The Pitt because I'm being controlled by Jewish lasers) and the episode I watched also dealt with the same topic of a son abusing his mom and in both instances I detected a weird like incest-energy from the dynamics and wondered if that was the main "thing" of sons beating their moms. I'm too dumb to really dig into it and also probably whatever I'm picking up on might be the wrong thing? Like maybe I only think it's incesty because I'm more used to it being a man beating on his romantic partner so I'm just casting the abusive sons in the same role as domestic partner, but I definitely felt throughout the movie there was something strange in the relationship, like the son lowkey had the hots for his mom and some of the abuse was stemming from him not being able to handle/deal with those feelings. I guess it's some Oedipus Complex shit *definitely educated with a developed brain that got no holes in it voice* but like, even if you lowkey wanna fuck your mom like just write a weird manga about it, like don't beat her are you CRAZY?

Derek from Degrassi is sooo cute in this movie. Just a sweet and special little boy :') It's crazy how hideous he is on Degrassi just a few years later. Wow, time is really the ultimate leveler :')

Oh, this is a better look at that ugly Fashion Barn top they have covering my full-figured diva's voluptuous frame. She's really serving. If she was my bae I would be sending her sons to boarding school and then taking her on a cruise. I'm lowkey not feeling her new man because why is my mother dealing with BS. Them boys shoulda already been packed off to the marines or Sea Org or some sort of Canadian Youth Prison Camp. Me and the diva would be on the Disney Cruise already sipping on virgin daqs and getting botulism from the all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet.

Delta's ugly ass ex talking crazy to her and of course her son that's psychosexually obsessed with her witnesses it. And the cycle continues. I would say it's like super heavy-handed and obvious and on the nose but it's quite literally how these curses keep getting passed down. Especially with men/boys because they slow and have no self-awareness. Somebody save my full-figured queen from these maniacs. Where's her stupid boyfriend with the vest? Just useless.

Oooh, bitch, this Doing My Crazy Son's Laundry fit is impeccable *chef's kiss*

Danger Child gifts his mom a necklace and she's like surprised in a romantic way??

She's like sensually smirking as he puts it on her neck? I'm not making this up it quite literally is happening in the movie..

???

Ohhh, Miss Diva got the top of her milky white tatas out for date night, PERIODT!

My jaw dropped when Danger Child told his mom's date to keep his pants on. These white teens are OUT OF CONTROL. None of this shit would be happening in a black or asiatic household and that's all imma say. But also, omg, SO incesty. Like what is his deal? Mama can't get her groove on? Why is he like bothered by his mom going on dates? #Weirdo

The Columbine-era yt teen is now attacking his mom because he's jealous she's got a man? Don't you have homework to be doing? Throwing blows when you have an Algebra quiz on Monday? I haven't once seen him practicing his kissing either. Maybe he's mad he can't practice on mama mhmm

He not payin' no type of bills to be makin' faces like this. Kill all white children kill em dead

It's so funny how evil he's tryna be rockin' that gay ass early-aughts necklace tho. It's just a really nice touch. He looks so dumb. And then has the audacity to have flipped up bangs and kissin' the teen sluts at his school like somebody's grandmother. Boy made of all wrong components. Can't even domestic violence right. Who the fuck tries to punch their mom? So much evil shit came together through the generational line to make this boy. Eliminate all of them <3

No one's doing it like Delta. This her My Psycho son Just Attacked Me in the Hallway 4 Gettin' Dick pose. You could never be her or give what she's giving so just don't even try.

Delta going back downstairs after getting attacked by Sir Psycho and acting like nothing's wrong to carry on with her date. Whole family off mentally, but also, PERIOD! Mama's gonna get her groove on, regardless. I do think maybe she should call up Sea Org on the way to Applebee's though and make sure Xenu and them have captured her child and taken him in the nets back to the boat before she return home. She a little unorganized. Like get your dick but make sure Sea Org has your son in their clutches for after when you're done with your date and need to have a relaxing and uninterrupted soak in the bath to heal from your deep dicking.

Me calling every1 in town to tell them Danger Child kisses like a grandmother and be whoopin' on his mama

Pretty sure this guy is an extra on Degrassi. Should I kill myself for recognizing him? No honestly I should be awarded a Nobel Prize for even making it this far, tbh

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the girl Danger Child was tryna hunch with jeans on at this party gettin' her groove on with a white boy who actually know how to kiss. Muah, I love it! I am like seriously concerned for the health and safety of his mama tho now that he's been so publicly dissed in this manner cuz that boy really only will work out his aggression on her cuz he's a weak ass punk little bitch and that's why ur ho is kissin' other wiggers at the function #ohwell!

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo insane to go from the scene where Danger Child discovers his little girlfriend kissing another nigga at the party to a scene where Big Mama is necking with her new man at the end of their first date, which we can assume went really well. Like, what does the movie mean by this??

They are really tusslin' right now. Like this boy for real is tryna choke out his mamma. Imagine getting home from an amazing date where you were dicked down to within an inch of your life only to come home to your like fifteen year old zitty shitty child puttin the paws to you like huh. I would be so irked like I just want my cheesecake and to lay down and rest my puss this is a nightmare

He psychotically raised his fist to punch his mama through the skull like Lestat did to that priest. This is actually happening and the only reason his mama's skull isn't punched fully in is because she knows about the bob and weave, which is really frightening when you think about it, though maybe it was just her natural survival instincts but it's giving those were HONED from experience which is depressing me

That zitty beast punched his hand through the window which he was meaning to do to his mama. But omg look at mother's slay as she realizes that window could've been her skull <3

Why does he act shocked that he punched his fist through a glass? It's giving he's surprised it went through the window instead of his mother's head smh

But seriously what is this full-figured psycho teen's, like, deal? What is the explanation for his behavior? They kind of make it clear that he learned it/inherited it from his dad, I guess? So it's kind of he saw his dad being aggressive but also maybe that behavior is in their blood to begin with so it's both a mental and spiritual thing, I guess? I just don't know why a lot of the times he acts like he isn't aware of his behavior? But I'm not versed on psych stuff, or, really, any stuff, so...let's just move on :)

Why is she consoling him? I get it's her stupid son but he highkey just tried to murder you? Like he intentionally was aiming to cave your skull in, so? I think being a detached Aquarian makes me not really get why she still hasn't called Sea Org or the asylum to send the padded van because I would've been did that the first time he snapped on me but I'm just different (a sociopath), I guess *shrugs*

Delta thee Diva's My Son Punched His Fist Through the Window while Aiming to Punch my Forehead through the Back of My Skull So Now We're Here at this Hospital Slay! (ignore the traumatized child)

She's so opera right now. This movie would make a good opera, actually, but they'd have to ramp up the weird motherboy incest vibes from like seventy percent to like...eighty-five cent at least...if they were going to do an Italian opera, just sayin'...

Imagine your son puts a scar on you, like this shit is crazy. Why is it in a common hickey area, though? Am I just demented or is that intentional (just kill urself anyway)

This doctor giving the side-eye when Delta was giving some fake story to explain why her son was in the hospital with a fucked up hand. He is so #mood. He should be on The Pitt as someone to flirt with Collins to send Robby into complete, irreversible psychosis <3

I don't like how the abusive teen is awkwardly lying in the hospital bed. It's just little shit like this that be irking me

Oooh, I liked this shot - very classy, very artful

Mother examining the injuries she incurred from the tussling with her troubled teen in the middle of the work day at her shitty rent-a-week office wearing that ugly ass red blazer, again (We LOVE an outfit repeater! #EconomicQueen)

Is it me or does the scene where Mother is examining her bruises seem weirdly sensual? Probably just me and my sick and twisted mind but it gave someone still madly in love with their abusive husband examining their post-demonic-coital love bites teas

Wig is like I'm really in a business partnership with a big bird. She doesn't get that Delta can't be focusing on whatever their business is - she's been getting whooped at home by her TEEN! She doesn't get it, a spinster doesn't know anything about the intense and frightening love between a hot BBW mom and her sinister teen son with the grandmother puckers. It's funny to me though to imagine the whole movie from Wig's perspective she's like this big bitch is a BIG BUM. But she's secretly in love with Delta (doomed old lady yaoi??) so she's just gonna roll with her slacking on the job even as their business entirely implodes and she's inching closer and closer every day to having to go back to walking the streets again. Where is her story, actually?

Miss Mamassssssss!!

The psycho dad foaming and frothing about the mouth with no spirit or light behind his eyes

The dead-eyed mongrel stare. Delta was kind of wylin for even procreating with this beast, like what did you honestly expect? #victimblamer

Mother's putting the groceries away slay

This caressing my psycho son slay is insane

No form. Lil wigger teen lookin' like he doing a booboo. All this teen know how to do is whoop on his mama. Perhaps he could try out at an old lady boxing ring? Either way he need to move up off that court, he has NO BUSINESS being there

I capped this because I loved the white boy fro one of Danger Child's wigger classmates was rocking. Only a true chalk diva could pull that off

Love that this evil teen told Danger Child he heard through the grapevine that he kisses like a grandmother - such a sick, early-aughts teen burn. I would kill myself if sum1 said this to me, like no wonder Danger Child started throwin' punches at his mama

Psycho teen wearing his gay necklace and yellin' at his mamma again. Sighs, can we come up with something else? smh

LMAO, literally me if I lived in this crazy ass scary household where the teenage boy thinks he's the man of the house for some reason and for some reason he thinks being the man of the house mainly entails yelling at and beating women????

Oh, lort, they tusslin again

This was really insane? One of the neighbors called the cops because they heard all the tusslin' going on in the house next door and were concerned. The cops show up and the mom answers the door smiling talking about nothing's wrong, oh her son just plays loud music oh she just dropped some books. Then the deranged teen comes to the door smiling talking about all good officer. This was just so nuts. Like this is something that would happen with like two people in a romantic relationship where abuse is going on but here in this movie it's a mom and her gay son...

This contemplating how I'm being abused by my own child slay. #mood

This is crazy. The danger child literally breaks the legs of the family cat????? It's going beyond anger issues, it's giving serial killer, Patrick Bateman teas at this point. Trying to kill your mama with punches and snapping the leg bones of the family pet should be more than enough to have this bitch put down by the state. Like what the fuck

Ooooh, Delta's researching topics on the library computer slayyyyy

I shouldn't be laughing, but when Delta went to the library computer to search up "teen violence against parents" only for the search to spit up no results I did giggle a little... They said: You the only one going through this. Which is really funny in a mean way, but I was surprised there was no material, especially for this to be taking place in such a white ass universe, you mean no crazy white woman quack psychologist wrote some controversial book filled with pseudoscience about how teen boys' violence is linked to their lust for returning to the motherwomb? I find that seriously hard to believe, but very funny regardless. Anyway, I shouldn't be allowed to watch any movies or live :)

Delta going up to the librarian at the reference desk and asking her to look up a book about teen deadbeats whoopin' on their parents and the librarian being like girl huh??????? Plsssssssssssss. The librarian was like "do u mean books on child abuse" and Delta said in a small voice she meant books about "parent abuse". The librarian's faaaaaaaaaaaaaacccceeeeee

Big Delta's calling for help concerning my teen son abusing me slay. I'll never be her :(