No, I'm just kidding. This movie wasn't dumb. Dumb is me & this blahg and my life. But look, Where was Tom Hardy???? No, I didn't watch this for him. This one time, I wasn't specifically watching some shit just because Tomniel Hardy was in it. I could tell from the trailers he was like barely in it. And in a plane the whole time with his face covered in a mask SMHHHH!! No, I watched this because I am trying to churn through all the Oscar nominated movies before Sunday lol which is the worst/best idea. So far I've seen: Call Me by Your Name, Get Out, Three Billboards, Phantom Thread, iTonya, and this^. Defo, Dunkirk...I think, has been the most boring so far lol. Nah, it was okay. Harry Styles is in it, so.. #OscarWORTHY!
Okay, I jotted some quick "notes" to help me write this (no one cares about this blog or what you have to say plz stop), so imma just use this as a guide real quick. But when is someone going to ask The Dark Knight Director Guy (idk this dude's n-Christopher Nolan! smh) when he is going to create another role for Tom Hardy where he wears tight sweaters on his thicc body and says stuff to people WITHOUT A MASK ON? Wait, did he wear sweaters in Inception or vests? Omg, he was wearing like tiny little vests wasn't he?? When will Chrissy Nolan do another Inception but just with Tom and not with Leo?? Come on now!!!
-white
This movie was super white. But do you know I know absolutely nothing about the war? Like the war that takes place in this movie? When I get around to watching that Churchill movie (kill me) I am going to have no fucking clue wtf his old ass is talking about, and that's real. Like, I do not even know who the fuck Churchill even is. The president of England or something I think when Hitler was getting his grown woman on all over Germany?? But girl, I HAVE NO IDEA!!! I'm scared imma watch that movie and the whole time just be fake-understanding shit lol. I'm so tired
Anyway, this movie was mad white. I just...a lot of times have to point out how white movies are. Lol but what if this movie had a tokenism aspect. Like Idris Elba or something as some random African soldier calling the lads bumklats or something. Anyway, deleet this blog and my life. But how white was this movie though? Hell of a palate cleanser. Smh, I keep writing. WHY?????
-no dialogue
Not a lot of talking. I'm big on talking. Though, I can appreciate some silent shit from time to time. Like, I was super-fascinated by the quiet French one that they murdered off for...being French. That happened, right? There was a lot going on in that drowning boat so I truly do not know, but I remember the movie getting along later and being like.......did they kill off that French dude???????? Like, he was the hottest, so I find that extremely rude of them.
But anyway, I would appreciate a war thing where it's just like zero action and all about the soldiers talking. But not about boring war shit. Basically I want a The Boys in the Band, but set in like 'nam. That's my perfect war movie. Does that exist? I like, doubt it. But you know...I really really love The Deer Hunter, and that's a pretty quiet ass movie. But...that movie has De Niro and Christopher Walken & Meryl Streep and this movie has..Harry Styles, like 24% of Tom Hardy's face, and a bunch of unknown nubile, practically faceless young boy actors who don't have distinct enough auras to pull off all that mute shit. The only one really pulling it off was the French one, and they killed him. I just. Dunkirk was okay, but like, not totally my cup of tea. Like that is what I am understanding as I am writing this. Chris Walken barely talked in The Deer Hunter & I got my entire life but here people barely talk and I am like noo...plz fill in the silence now at once, smh. Please give me backstory so I can care about your void of a character like..
-cillian killing that boy
Um. #lifeissofragile But anyway, when is Christina Nolan going to write a really good role for Cillian like I'm tired. How English of him to not care about creating roles that are all about propping up stars. Miss me with this character actor shit. Have you seen Cillian's cheekbones??? How dare you.
-fascinated by pretty blonde boy
I think out of all the unknown actor boy idiots, he was my fave. At first I was like..who is this lil' hitler youth. But I was just really caring about his character. I liked how the actor played his role. If I was actually feeling emotions while watching this movie, I would've shed a little tear when Harry Styles was all "HE'S DEAD, MATE" (rude). Like, sad. And him telling Cillian that the boy would be alright. And him helping out with everything. When he locked Cilly in that cupboard. His liddle sweater. Loved everything about him. Now let me pull myself together :')
-french kid
Bae. Tragic.
-mad loud
This was very loud. Like, calm down. Chrissy be making these loud ass fucking movies, I swear to god. Also I am rapidly deteriorating internally. I understand this now.
-harry #aquarius squad (alex)
I was talking shit, but Harry was the true star of the film lol. He was the only soldier whose name I knew. Alex. Sigh..
-actiony
So I guess instead of a million pages of dialogue it was just replaced with shit exploding and people drowning & then the characters just looking at these things happen with their face, rinse & repeat. Hey, if that's your kind of deal. It is not mine!!!
-no idea wtf was happening lol
Had no idea what was happening. Like none. I am sitting here right now writing this even trying to figure out...like...what points I was confused at? And it was all of them? The whole movie. Where even is Dunkirk. Wait...is Dunkirk a place? Was it the name of a boat? Like. This is maybe a movie I would have to watch again, but it wasn't fascinating enough to me for all of that. Like, I got the gist the first time around. DID YOU THOUGH???? Anyway, two thumbs down. lol
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