ER, season 4

Season 4 opens with Carter's Gumby-looking vampiric self almost being mowed down by your typical Chicagoite mongrel-minded motorist. Why he got on the Obama funeral fit? I guess it's in theme...

We see the demented animal that almost turned our Pale Prince into roadkill was that bald bish Mark, looking like last night's leftovers. #DarkMark era commences!

How long does AIDS take to kill a man?? Like I'm starting to get pissed AWF how is Al still alive!??

Can't even talk about this chick being a disaster in her interview as I've always been a sweaty, shaking mess in any job interview I've ever had whole time not even wanting the damn job to begin with lmao, but this was hmm. Not sure how I feel about this character generally. She ends up getting the job because? Idk, Mark thinks she's hot? But like in that way where men feel bad for someone so they get turned on thinking about how vulnerable and stupid the woman is? Like in that kind of way. And then it kind of brings me to questioning the writing for this character. It feels a little...hmmm. Like she's kinda this ditzy, sort of idiot airhead, damsel in distress type of cuckoobird and then when Mark starts dating her because he's in his villain era and just Doing Shit, every1 starts acting like he's committing some sort of hate crime against a special needs individual like I just don't know you guys

Henry (?) (I'm putting a question mark cuz he's barely relevant enough to fully recall his character's name) was hated but idk I felt like he was a vibe. Like if I was a character on ER I'd definitely be the guy who quite literally has zero actual interest in any of the work going on in the ER. Like...I'm not doing this..

Pretty sure in this scene Carla hit Benton with the "What are we?" and Benton just straight up stares in silence for like five minutes straight. Mind you she just gave birth to his child that almost died and is still in the NICU :)

Why is there like several scenes this season where Dark and Moug have serious bro talks whilst standing side by side each other at the urinals pissing competitively??

Doug kinda looking at Mark like he's gone Full Evil in that way only totally bald men can be for accusing Chris Law of being the one who whooped him down in the bathroom. Mark still has some scraps of hair left so he shouldn't be in Full Bald Evil mode just yet. This is the only time Clooney's acting is good, because you can tell he feels real, genuine fear over the idea of a bald individual and the power of the evilness they can produce from their totally raw and naked scalp

Carter on his knees thanking Weaver for paying him for doing his job? He is so... And then she immediately snatched the check back because HE SAID LITERALLY LAST SEASON HE WOULD FORGO GETTING PAID JUST TO BE ABLE TO WORK IN THE ER - remember Carty? How is Carter even still alive acting like this? If his family hadn't looted all that money from exploiting people and human trafficking and genocide I just don't think he would even exist. Which Carter clearly is not cognizant of because this season he tries to get all big and bad with his gamma and gets cut off from his trust fund and thinks he can just go about life and not immediately pass away with NO INCOME COMIMG IN. The show apparently believes this too, tho? Like Carter gets cut off but he also continues to not get paid by his job which has to be illegal like how the fuck do they have someone on staff that they aren't paying idk but like Carter is just fine even after having NO MONEY TO SUPPORT HIMSELF? This storyline is giving #CERTIFIEDCHOP. It's giving the writers don't know how things work but I also don't either so I can't really say TOO much so let's just move on :)

We know Mark is Mr. Evil this season because we see him chuckling sinisterly whilst watching Jerry Springer on television. During work hours, mind you. There's patients dying, idiot.

Al really pisses me off so much. Like I'm boiling from rage just looking at this. Why does he keep bringing his annoying aids-ass blue collar nonsense up into Jeanie's place of work?? Like GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. Shit pisses me off SO BAD!!

Gesturing to a baby currently in the process of getting its penis chopped off: "Who gave you permission to perform this procedure?"

Lil Reese's Pieces just a hollerin :') #90sBabyTings #didn'task2bborn

*autistic black guy voice* Carla, wut happened 2 that boy's penus

But I'm glad we know for sure that Benton is uncircumcised (NEEDED 2 Know this) and that it's canon he wanted to match dicks with his son. #BoyDad

I hate how Jeanie is basically a Boy Mom to Al. Like why does she have to hand hold him through everything? Especially after he essentially ruined her life by giving her HIV and like lowkey never even apologized for it?? He really irritates MY SOUL

So Jerry's big ass is brandishing like a fucking rocket launcher at his place of work?? Like, he's just doing that.

Jerry fires the weapon, almost kills this dude and like blows up half the hospital. Just guess what happens? Did you guess that he's promptly fired and arrested and violently killed in prison like he should've been? LMAO!! Not in the ER universe where all white guys are the heroes, even the stupid useless ones who don't have a single second on screen where they're able to successfully demonstrate they deserve to be alive :)

I hate that they had Doug turn Elizabeth down in this scene because it wasn't clear (to me) if she was trying to go out with him? But then we see her later in the season thirstin' HARD really for any dick but especially for Benton's and I look back at this scene like oh, was Elizabeth tryna ask Doug out on a date?... I hate that it's not clear and that I can see how it could've definitely looked to Mr. Ladies Man that she was tryna get him to hunch her. We've seen chicks fall over Doug b4 and I always roll my eyes and I rolled them here yet again but there's a sour taste with this one because Elizabeth is a main character thirstin' over Dr. Cowboy. Usually, aside from Hathaway, it's just random no-name women we don't really gaf about...but Elizabeth is someone we're supposed to care about and I was like ohh... and then Doug gets to look all smug at 53 years old talkin' bout sum I have a girlfriend now and I'm so handsome and perfect because I'm not gonna cheat on her :) I don't want Doug to have that moment and I don't want a main character apart from goofy ass Hathaway to be openly thirsting after him and gifting him this easy win. I wish Jerry would've exploded more of the hospital :/

JUMPSCARE! Pretty sure this actor is legit evil in real life and you can just see his evil radiating all over the screen in his scenes which is like great because he's being mean to AL and that energy is perfect to direct towards him but Jeanie is also present so she takes the hit as a bystander and also I can't look at the actor directly too long or I start bleeding from the eyes so it's kind of this bittersweet sitch we've got goin...

Why is Weaver's white ass talking bout some ~lovely antebellum homes~ to Jerry? Is she telling him to go downsouth and look at them? What as like a tourist, or to buy? Either way, #killallwhitepeople

Overall, Carter's poor boy cosplay this season is a whole CHOP. But I loved his Regular No Money Person Laundry Mat Fit here like why does he look good? Or am I possessed and too deep in the throes of insanity to see properly? We'll never know!

Carter getting called out by an Authentic Poor Person for not knowing what the fuck he's doing. Where's Anna? I need her to see this!

Wait is this Benton and Carla's first photo 2gether as parents? So cute :') But also super ghetto... :/ #childoutofwedlock

Al just rolls up to Jeanie's job talkin' bout some "I really didn't have anything else to do". Is he SERIOUS? Nigga, get a JOB - that's what you can do!! What did Jeanie do to deserve this, like I'm stunned he's so useless!! I think maybe they met when they were young, I probably forgot or blocked it out lol but they might've been high school sweethearts? If so, I think that makes more sense why she's so stuck on him. But I'm gonna need my girlboss to get unstuck from this fool, and QUICKLY #deadweight

*sighs* So all the construction guys in town I guess find out Al has HIV and he's blackballed from getting construction work. He says it's easier for Jeanie to be "out" at work becuz no1 questions how she got infected but the blue collar guys are homophobic and I guess essentially assume any man with HIV/AIDS contracted it ~the gay way~. Al wastes Jeanie's time coming to her job in the middle of the work day to whine to her about this. He said before he was Mr. HIV/AIDS he used to be right on the jobsite cracking "fag jokes" with the fellas (how bout focus on your actual WORK), but now he can't do that cuz everyone knows he's got the Diddler Disease. Mmmkay. And what are we as the audience supposed to feel? How can Jeanie stand there and listen to this and still be in a relationship with this man? Please God take him NOW he's RET TO GO!!! And listen, if you don't wanna take him, TAKE ME, cuz I'm TIRED!

LOVED Weaver correctly calling Doug out, essentially saying he struggles dealing with strong women, and if he is not able to charm you with his handsome Hispanic looks and sultry stupid voice then he crashes out/has an attitude. All TRUE. And then you have Hathaway off to the side getting all upset saying that's not the case, because what does that say about Hathaway? It says she's a weak ass pushover bitch, which she is, so what's the problem? If Hathaway was headstrong like Weaver or even someone like Anna there would be NO RELATIONSHIP between her and Doug, period. I'm sure she'd rather have the man than actually be about something so she just needs to accept this and move on and dead all the pushback because no lies were told, NONE

Me when there's a Dathaway "romance" scene. Also lowkey me when Mark and the desk clerk interact...

Dr. Dick Thirsty being messy in the middle of surgery saying to Benton he doesn't seem the type who would be a dad/have a family (?????) (Tho I get what she means LMAO). To me, it seems she is just saying this because she wants that uncircumcised dingaling, but Benton kinda gets worried that he won't be able to both be a father whilst also working on his career and blahblah. I feel like we don't really get too much into Benton's psyche about his struggles with new fatherhood while also working on his residency or whatever the fuck he's doing at county lol, so idk, maybe we'll get more about it next season, I forgot basically everything so we'll see :) But anyway Elizabeth was just being messy here but got a small "win" when Peter reveals his "lovely wife" is just a baby momma and so now Big Lizzie has the go head to begin near-psychotically hunting Benton down for his weewee, so #yay

This patient had the drop on county. Sums up everything, really

Please :'( Carter asking Benton how Reese is doing and Benton being like "Oh he's good" like Carter asked about his father or something and not a whole ass new ass baby that almost passed away :( And then Benton doesn't even do a stop and chat he basically answers in passing and immediately takes off my GAWD

It kills me that this show is super cheesy but not cheesy enough to have like a weird emotional scene where Benton asks Carter to be the godfather to Reese with tears in his eyes and like multiple scenes of Carter doing slapstick stuff while trying to babysit Baby Reese PLEASE GOD WHY. This show does so much random, stupid shit but not the random, dumb shit that EYE would be simply seated for. Like does Carter even ever interact with Reese?? I'm going to explode myself with my own mind I can't do this

Cartier whining to Anna about how Benton refuses to talk to him. Sir, this is not how you seduce a woman -- not a normal one, anyway. Like it would work on me because the only thing that would genuinely attract me to Carter would be his relationship to and desperation for Benton lmao but I think Anna is mostly normalish (she is a blonde Italian, let's not forget), so this is just like the very opposite way to snag her interest, I think. But then we see her "former" crackhead ex later and...hmm. Not really sure where Anna's tastes lie, after all. My girl's an enigma. But TRUST we'll have plenty of time to get to know her across multiple seasons so I aint eem gon' trip :)

Was any1 else thinking ER was gonna give us a cute little enemies-2-lovers sitch with Doug and Anna? No? Just me looking stupid expecting them to give Doug a relationship storyline that's actually, ya know, interesting? Silly me :)

The Barter fight :( But here's Carter straight up acknowledging he was abused by Benton but kept his lipless beak shut last season when Gant needed him to step up and affirm the allegations he made. So now Carter wants, what? Empathy, or like a reward because of the abuse he endured that he refused to be a good person last season and acknowledge during a crucial moment because he would not have directly benefitted in that very instance? *shakes my head* Lmao, no, I don't think so...

?... Why does Carter feel entitled to not be blown off by Benton? No shade, but like, what do you think y'all's relationship is? Starting to think Carter didn't speak up last season to help Gant because he wanted him to kill himself so he could go back to having Daddy Benton all to himself. He is NOT above this so idk why you're booing.

Wait... why was this giving Sub/Dom but not the assigned roles that you'd think...

Silly ass white boy already on the floor like thirty seconds into their geeky neurodivergent ass little tussle. Embarrassing. Then acting all dramatic and Gemini-coded when Benton tried to help him up off the ground looking stupid, talking bout sum: What you care?? Lmao nigga please just get up. I can't with this chick-shaped dude.

He is really out of his mind...

Not Benton pissed Carter didn't go to him about his desire to leave surgery to return to the ER. I do think Carter has this kind of one-sided way of thinking, generally, like all relationships he has with people are only happening in his head mostly, like yeah maybe if you wanted Benton to be more involved you probably should've talked to him about where your head was at more? But then Benton is such a difficult egg to crack so idk who's the bigger idiot here, let's just say it's Carter because he looks the stupidest :)

Benton asking the white, pulsating sore on his ass for permission to go home. #BottomBentonCONFIRMED

Mark's evil ass just casually referring to patients as crackheads? Is that a scientific term?? lmaooooo

Mark, who works in service at a public hospital, talking about we can't help people who can't help themselves. What r u a christian megachurch pastor? That's quite literally YOUR JOB. He really got the last little bit of his soul whooped out of him in that bathroom, huh? Honestly, real.

The only time I liked Hathaway was when she got Mark together for talking like a sociopath. Like you know it's bad when Hathaway has to say something.

Love this shot; wish Carla and Benton weren't being ghetto and would just get married and raise Reese together as one big happy family pleeeeease :(

Baby Reese just a screamin'. Honestly me if my ratchet, irresponsible parents had me outta wedlock :/

Omg Benton holding and talking to Lil Reese is driving me CRAZY. I can't believe Carter's not seeing this *tears my hair out so now I'm evil and bald like Mark*

*starts convulsing*

How do you look gorgeous while dissociating? Starting to understand why Carter acts Like That over him. Like it gives me so much secondhand embarrassment it makes me feel genuinely ill sometimes, but...I get it...

Hmm. Top Carter confirmed? But like, if he's on the top, he definitely cries. I think we can all agree on that :)

Mark talking about Chris and his family, saying them suing the hospital for negligence (i think) is a "shakedown". Well, someone died and probably that could've been prevented if--nvm...

They in the bathroom together again...

Jason from The Game shows up and gets an erection when Anna gives him a testicular exam SO FUNNY! Also he is diagnosed with cancer and probably's gonna die soon :/ but hey at least Doug got to prove he was right and smarter than The Woman in this storyline #yay! #happyending

Every Mexican character on ER be like: Hola hombre essay, rachacha I'm inna gang. *stares in five foot three*

Like, it gets to a point.

Oh. So this Evil Indian Doctor (redundant) just straight up saying the quiet part out loud: men are really evil and terrible and especially the doctor ones. But like, we been knew.

Cosplay Carter is trying to pay for takeout he and Anna got together I think but Anna's insisting on paying knowing she's a brokey and don't even got it like that. Carter is really a coward and gives me secondhand embarrassment and lowkey seems like a not-good person (he's white). Why not just say: Hey, I'm rich I'll pay, save your money for rent for the fucking dilapidated roach motel you live in? Like why is he trying to conceal that he's some rich little freak boy? Yeah, yeah, Anna "hates" rich people, but I feel like Carter is projecting his lack of emotional intelligence on her, like if Anna knew from jump I doubt she would be rude or standoffish just because she knew he was rich, and they get into it later on once it's revealed to her that Carter is ~monied~, that her biggest issue really with him is that he was dishonest and I believe that and honestly Anna is too good to be slumming it with him if we're being REALLY HONEST so idc that Carter ultimately fumbled her :)

Dr. Dick Thirsty bringing tea to Benton while he works, like girl he hasn't put it down yet you don't need to be doing all this like she is so hard up for him. But I get it she's white and british like god imagine the disgusting barely-human options she had available to her over in the UK and then she gets to the US and sees Benton and just loses her mind lke I GET IT

Mark admitting to being racist. How American.

Racist 5 foot three yakubian goblin tryna flirt with a Nubian Kang: Hey, do you like Chris Rock? How about the n-word?

Does Romano not realize how insane and dick thirsty he comes across every time he interacts with Benton? He worse than Elizabeth. I couldn't be Benton because I woulda been up in that hospital shouting white slurs that haven't been in circulation since the late 1600s

Can't stand Benton. Why the fuck are you saying this amazing complimentary shit to Carter fifty years after the fact? This crazy ass white boy's been begging like a dog for your approval for years just for you to drop this outta nowhere when he don't really even need it anymore. He's so withholding. Idk, it's kind of romantic. #mentallyill

Carter standing in the middle of Anna's apartment looking like some petrified little posh ass dandyboy. He look like he boutta grab a newspaper to put down under his shoes so they don't get dirty, but he changes his mind last minute cuz the newspaper don't look clean enough.

Carter's face when Anna smashed that massive roach on her cabinet ajnfkmogkrefmk vjlfn jl fejncilmcmekl lejf j (me, tho)

The giant disgusting smear my stomach vre,fdewl fjknipm,

Anna saying Cartier seems so milkfed middle class. Oh, my sweet summer child... And I'm pretty sure she said this because Carter started randomly spouting off like tenants' rights laws right off the top of the dome. Anna was like how do you know that lmao. It's crazy cuz he could probably easily help her with his resources but obviously can't fully do anything because then she'd know his deep, dark secret. Funny that Carter feels bad/weird about being rich in Anna's presence but we never see him actually examining why that is. Carter just says he thinks Anna hates richies and that's why he lies but the show doesn't go deeper than that. #interesting #showwrittenbyalsoprobablyrichytpplwhodon'texaminethemselvesbeyondsurfacelevelthoughts

Mark is so weird and evil towards Jeanie. This exactly why he got a tumor and died. Jeanie wants to pass off a patient that has like some insane white supremacist tattoo onto Carter and Carter is cool with it but Mark overhears and chops it down, saying if everyone passed off a patient they didn't like no patients would get worked on or whatever mind you this was just one instance and also literally mind your no-hair, no eyesight having ass business like NO ONE was talking to you so? Mark acting like he's dealing with PMDD the entire season would be cute if someone with hair was dealing with it but alas because he was cursed to lose follicles I just can't really emphatize so he needs to hurry up and get a girlfriend or a lobotomy or something and fix that fucking attitude

When Mark screamed in that old lady's face that her husband was gonna die #ClassicMark #TumorDeadSoon

The Carter mansion is so damn tacky chile like is having poor taste a prerequisite to being rich?

Carter's not serious with this... He has such an awkward body like imagine him jumping up and down on a horse he can barely walk straight lmao. But it's weird how the show seems to treat Carter like he's an only child like he definitely has/had two other siblings? Where their freaky fucked up portraits at? #continuityerroronlylosersnotice

Elizabeth looks so crazy sometimes. Girl, what is Dr. Snake? Can Benton hurry up and give her the d please I can't do this anymore

Carter looked so pathetic and creepy in this scene lmao. It's funny how *this* was the way Anna found out he was a richie. It couldn't have made a worse impression. Maybe if she walked in and a full blown gross old people Eyes Wide Shut party was happening in the middle of the ballroom they have in their mansion probably, like that's the only way this could've been worse lol. And he looked so stupid and small like just man up and say yeah I'm rich and so what but then if he did that he would've looked even stupider and like a total prick so there's no winning. I mean, it would've been fine had he never concealed his true nature like a sociopath to begin with but we're talking about what someone who is mentally-sound and complete would do and that's very far from anything Carter has going on so :)

Anna looked so hot dragging Carter for filth in this scene (and not straight at all even remotely, btw)

A Dark and Moug roadtrip episode that's just them and their daddy issues?? Oh HELL NO *breaks my finger immediately skipping to the next episode y'all done got me fucked up HELL NAW!!*

Chile...

Omg he looks like a gorilla! *slobbering noises*

Love this shot, hated this storyline. It really made doctors/researchers/scientists look like total sociopathic pieces of shit, but, ya know, #realism

I can't do this

Why did Weaver choose for Jeanie to be the one to get fired ~due to budget cuts~? #Hmm. I'm glad Jeanie became Full Joker but in like a geeky, harmless way to keep her job. Mind you I would've cheered and screamed for joy if County fired me. I would've been skipping out of there with birds chirping happily trailing after me, like please, only devils thrive there consider it a blessing. But I'm glad Jeanie girlbossed her firing, flipped that shit and reversed it all up in Weaver's stupid face. Like Weaver don't you have a crush on Jeanie? Who fires their work crush? The way I would've fired Jerry so quick but she chooses Jeanie OH OKAY

Peter realizing how evil white people are lol. Like this is what you worked for, to be all up around these demons that barely got a soul.

Why is Henry giving Victorian child dying from eating one single Dorito vibes here. Idk he's a #mood for me, sorry.

Weaver tryna make Jeanie feel some type of way for invoking her HIV CARD to keep her job. Is Weaver jealous that Jeanie found a way to turn shit into gold? Weaver you could use your disability too to manipiulate the odds in your favor if you wanted. In fact, I'm sure your white ass has done this over the course of your schooling and career so why is it wrong for Jeanie to do? Like does Weaver not understand how to be a friend and keep your crush from hating you? Every doc on this show is like criminally neurodivergent like they gotta be locked away in one of them old timey 1950s dirt wall asylums I'm sorry

Hated this storyline with the sickle cell patient, tho I'm sure it's a real experience for many. Weaver just assumes the dude is a drug seeker and even when it's made clear by Doug that he has sickle cell and needs a high dose of pain meds to function Weaver starts screaming about how pain is a natural part of life or something? Mind you she doesn't even have sickle cell and has no idea what it's like to suffer with it, but does have a disability that we see causes her difficulty and pain but because she wants to be the Mr. Scrooge of cripples everyone else got to go through it, too? Mind u the patient looked like he was about to explode from how much pain he was in and Weaver had no empathy at all like she really looked insane and like a huge piece of shit here but nothing new for the criminally deranged doctors that work at this DEMONIC ASS hospital

Carter's ugly ass really thought he was on some bad bitch shit getting arrested lmammmooooooooooooo

The Norman Bates of it all!

Lmaooo when he got up in the jail and shit started getting real. He said there'll be no need for fingerprinting :)

My stupid son :')

lowkey how it feels to spend time with all these demented characters

Why did Carter immediately begin spreading his legs and opening up his pussy when his scary-looking (black) cellmate began to approach him? Not even for rape or a kiss, mind you, he just wanted Mr. Doctor to check out like a rash on his leg or something which is highkey just as gay and weird as prison rape or whatever else Carter was hoping for/expecting, but alas basically immediately after this Carter is freed from the pen and his budding romance with Mr. Scary Looking Mandigo Gorilla Gangsta (he was just bald and African American) is unfortunately cut short :(

Me tryna see sum... Can't believe they never conjured up a reason to get Carter to do this to Benton. It could've been ANY bullshit they could've cooked up but they REFUSED. Well, we'll always have the appendectomy :'(

Carter saying bye bye to his cellmate :( Please he's soo!!!

Anna's real as hell for bailing Carter out of jail and basically being the only one from County who actually gave a shit about getting him out of there lol. I'd ship them if I didn't think she was like way too good for him on every level. Like way too beautiful and so much more mature and thoughtful. The only thing that brings her down is that she is Catholic and lowkey might be anti-abortion? But aside from that and being white she is perfect and can definitely do way better. I do enjoy a goodness gap relationship from time to time tho and it's not like Carter is Mark-levels of evil so potentially it could work, hmm perhaps NEXT SEASON where Anna will definitely be :)

Oh, lort, thank GOD this damn relationship is OVER. Mind you this is like a real devastation for Jeanie and that's so sad :'( but it is such a win FOR ME and that's what matters most :)

Not Mark in his sugar daddy era. I guess ER thinks his whole sitch with the desk clerk and tryna play sugar daddy is part of his evil arc but I think Markus is just a simp and they shouldn't try to group the sugar daddy stuff and wanting to fuck a nice-looking woman under the same umbrella that also has stuff like Is a Racist and Verbally Abuses Patients. Just a thought :)

Y'all have no idea the experience I had when I first watched season 4 :( WHOLE TIME I thought this EMT dude was the grandmother rapist. The WHOLE FUCKING SEASON. And towards the end they reveal the culprit and it's not the EMT dude but I was sitting watching like no y'all, y'all got the wrong guy, it's Hathaway's side dude!!! I am pretty sure I left watching this season the first time still fully believing he was the dude doing all the grandmother rapes. Like I went into season 5 still thinking this I am pretty sure of this. Am I intellectually disabled? Like to the degree that I am not even aware how limited I am mentally? Honestly that thought is too big for me to handle right now (NOT because I'm slow!) so I'm just gonna set it to the side and come back to it later (never)

Mark's face when the desk clerk revealed she had a kid dskjcoejifhweyib #chile #theghettoooooo

Did anyone else ship Allison and Elizabeth? No? Just me? :/ #ERhatesgaystorylines

Carter's douchebag dickhead cousin with a scientifically-concerningly large head shooting up like base or some shit in a limo while wearing a Santa costume. I mean honestly, mood. #MerryXmas

I love all the over the top gesticulations the actor that plays Carter's cousin does to portray he's like some shitty, rich American Psycho-adjacent dandy boy. It's super cartoonish but I'm obsessed it's very James Spadery (complimentary?)

This random hot delivery guy?

Mark rolling up to the house belonging to the family of that basketball player he killed. On Christmas Eve, no less. That tumor was cosmic punishment, I fear. Like leave these people alone, haven't you done enough??

Please her face. The way I would've called the police, like I am being stalked by a white devil, but then prob the police would just show up and ask Mark to join their civilian-hunting gang so nvm...

Chris Law saying to Mark he was glad to hear about him getting whooped down in that bathroom lmaoooooooo. It's sad he didn't get to witness it with his own eyes like us in the audience. He really missed out, I think it honestly would've cured all his hatred to get to actually see it go down. Life is so evil and awful and like for what??

These dog people are getting out of control

This sinister full-grown student sitting in the back of one of Carter's classes giving him a very dark and demonic evil eye is the character I relate to probably the most in this entire series

Benty and Cartier in their geeky professor fits. I am going to just kill myself I can't take this. Hate how we only got like one ep I think of them teaching like what does ER think I want to see like show me more of Carter wearing a sad grandpa sweater while he teaches a boring class to completely disinterested middle aged students like this should be happening every season across multiple episodes I'm so confused but also I don't actually know what it entails to work at a teaching hospital like maybe that's just not possible and probably I'm the only one who wants more of this anyway so :)

Now why is Mark digging all through Shallon's? (4got desk clerk name) bag? Looking all in her birth control. Are they not using condoms? Y'all are in your forties so that's not making sense to me. He's just totally relying on this kooky chick to be consistent with her BC. What about STDs? And what did she mean when she said the bc Mark is holding was an old pack? Why is she carrying around an old pack of birth control? Did she not take all the pills? Like it's clear Mark has a reason to be...um, checking up on it...but hmmm maybe don't sleep with someone if you don't fully trust them and also maybe use condoms on top of BC when you are sleeping with someone you definitely DON'T want to have a child with and whom you are not serious about??? Like why does this need to be told to a full-grown like forty-three year old man?...

Romano being one of those annoying people who always gives everyone a nickname is so ME, actually. It's the only endearing thing about him but not even really because we see him giving nicknames to people he barely knows who don't even like him like that lmao and it's definitely coming across as a sinister power play more than him just trying to be affectionate with colleagues (which would still be inappropriate). Ultimately he needed to be drawn and quartered in front of a large crowd for trying to rehab Benton as "Petey" - it was an unquestionably evil gesture

The only time I liked Doug was when this baby started grabbing his nose and you could see in his eyes that he was wondering if Doug was Mexican

Carter looking like a stupid loser when his student left his side in the ER to go watch something more exciting that Benton was doing :( Please I love when he looks so alone and unloved it almost makes me forget that time he hatecrimed a transwoman and then she jumped off a building because of it :')

Carter blowing his nose into a hanky. It gets to a point... But also #Me #Relatable #RealNoseBlowersKnow

Romano praising Benton for not being a "militant minority". Mhmm.

Oh I forgot about Weaver and this prehistoric creature she dated this season. I think he was like working for some company that wanted to bring AI or some shit to County chile idk *fast-forwards to Weaver being gay like let's be serious PLEASE*

Wait, Malik asking Jeanie out on a date??? I think he was just being jokey but why show it to me if I'm not able to have it??? #pissingmeAWF!!

This was so fucking funny I was doubled over in pain from laughter like WHAT was with this dude? But you have to understand he seemed SO guilty as the old lady rapist like how am I the dumb one when they had him doing shit like this??

Me when they showed me Hathaway smooching on that EMT. Like girl I already don't care about you and Doug, now you tryna have a side ho? girl, PLEASE.

More of Carter's boulder head cousin gesticulating faggishly. He has my heart, I fear :(

This evil twink drug dealer that was annoyed Carter's old posh booty self was attempting to block him selling crack to a client was my favorite irrelevant character of the season

You know things are getting real scary in an after-school-special way when a diva doesn't want any soup

I wonder how they made the vomit in this scene. Do they push it through a tube that he has laced up his sleeve?

Elizabeth asks Baby Daddy Benton out for drinks but he says he doesn't drink so Elizabeth says you can order lemonade or chocolate milk idgaf just go out with me. Idk who's more of a loser between the two, honestly. Well, at least they're both hot. That helps :)

Anna friendzoning Carter *tries not to snicker*

Carter creepily watching Anna sleep <3

If I was Carter and Anna little brothered me I would quickly run to jump off the top of the roof of the hospital and splat to my untimely death just like that transwoman did after I treated her like dirt and refused to respect her as my fellow human being <3

Dr. Dick Thirsty offering to pay for a date with Daddy Benton. Listen idk how it works in the UK but babes please in America can you stand up off your motherfucking knees? I know he's fine but girl he's a damn baby daddy and emotionally avoidant to boot (ask Carter), like please stop groveling you're an attractive woman it shouldn't be this serious :/

Doug was at his most Mexican when he stumbled upon Mark's sugar baby sobbing by herself in the break room.

Idk about the writing for this character lol. Like why is she a full-grown woman acting like a slow eleven year old middle school girl? Like sure some women are like this but...I just don't know...

Me at all the desk clerk storyline stuff... Like did the writers have personal beef with someone or...

Hathaway whining about how she spent years changing to fit Doug's needs and that's why she should get to cheat on him? Sorry, who set that system up? No one told you to act like a goofy over this man. Why is she acting like Doug demanded she twist herself for him? That was a choice YOU made yourself as a grown ass woman with full agency, so? Now she wanna act like a victim cuz Doug is mildly peeved she kissed another dude meanwhile if it was me I would be filing charges against her for wasting my time, fraud, and emotional abuse but ok

Elizabeth seductively eating a boiled egg while attempting to seduce Benton. Is this what they doing over in the UK???

Benton giving "Help Me!!" Get Out eyes after the englishwoman erotically propositioned him whilst sucking down a boiled egg

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not Benton's weird, autistic ass getting cucked by Deacon from King of Queens. It's what he deserves. Carla said hmm so anyways and immediately went out to snatch up Reese a stepdaddy. She said SOMEBODY gotta be the daddy! And I love how Roger (?) is giving Normal Benton vibes, she said let's try and give Reese a fighting chance #MamaBear

Carter giving Michael Myers teas when he chased Anna down after she got upset he lowkey tried to kill a patient because they were a rapist. No shade but #TeamCarter in this instance, but like if you're not a terrible person who has some sense about them then obviously you see where Anna is coming from and it's just very clear here in their argument that Anna and Carter are no match at all whether that be love or friendship lol if we're being HONEST

We get a peak at Carter's weird big belly during "Exodus" and that was my main takeaway, that he has an abnormal, flabby stomach hiding under his scrubs and weird sweaters but we're not gonna get anymore peaks unless there's another insane chemical spill I guess *crosses fingers there will be* #ChicagoChernobyl Let's make it happen!!

Carter drowning a patient to save their life <3 #yay #lawsuitincoming

Season 4 has Jeanie engaging in a romance with a twelve year old cancer patient and doesn't even treat it like it's wrong or weird or bad. I'm not joking, this ACTUALLY happens in the show???? And lowkey they're kinda cute???? #criminalcharges

Jeanie deeply blushing over a twelve year old little boy complimenting her beauty. Of course she is very beautiful and the little boy is quite perceptive and clearly has great taste but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?

Peter's face when his sister rolled up on him and Elizabeth on a daytime coworker date. Why......................did ER choose for it to be Benton's sister to see this instead of Carla? Maybe if it was Carla it'd feel too blacksploitationy? Idk it still feels that way with it being his sister lol. And this doesn't help them beat the Bentcest allegations the streets have been rumbling about (ur the only one saying this)... #idk

The way the sister's reaction is straight up framed like a jealous lover suppressing their rage when she sees them. Of course NORMIES will say she's just kinda side-eyeing Benton a lil for strolling around in broad daylight with a white woman when he just had a whole baby lol but it looks like more than that TO ME (because of your severe mental illness like what's not clockin'??)

This is how Benton is looking at his sister by the way. It's giving girl don't trip over the yt side ho, you know your bed is always gone be where I lay my head energy like why would ER do any of this?? Don't even yell at me cuz this the same show that got Jeanie dating a fourth grader so don't act like what I'm saying is even remotely beyond what this Satan-sponsored show is capable of producing

Me when they tease shots of Carter's weird belly but refuse to fully show it

Does any1 else have Doug and Weaver as a crackship? #DeaverDiva (no one's doing this and you should've killed yourself when you were nine)

Me when Dathaway have fights like they're two middle schoolers in a "relationship" for the first time since birth

Jeanie on a date with her yt kang #Lolitabutthistimeit'saboy

Remember when Benton lowkey tried to blame him hitting this lady with his car on Elizabeth being white lmao #NotHisFault

Guys, Allison's alive and well and now she's working as an EMT :') I seriously can't believe tho that they didn't do a romance between her and "Lizzie", like the material is THERE you just gotta GRAB IT! Like, why is it so complicated for ~you people~

In this scene Doug was doing his stupid smirk from ear to ear talking to Jeanie about how her twelve year old boyfriend lights up whenever she's around. Why are you hyping up a romance between a full grown woman and a little boy whose penis is still curled up inside his body? And the way this has been Jeanie's best relationship...

Can ER be serious for one second? Why was Carter acting flustered when he was doing like a bone biopsy or something on Anna here? He could see her booty and was getting all excited. Um, can you just be professional and stop being weird? And you can tell ER is thinking we're supposed to giggle or squirm at this meanwhile I'm sitting watching with a completely straight face like can he just complete the procedure?

Anna friendzoning Carter yet again *starts laughing so hard I shit myself #LongCovid*

Carter's stupid ass tryna take out a loan with NO INCOME COMING IN. And why was he up in the meeting with the loan officer talking about how he was a yacht boy (??) for like three months seven years ago or some shit like babe what does that have to do with TODAY?? So punchable but still my stupid son nevertheless :/

AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This show refuses to let Allison live. Still, the blessed and highly favored of it all because nothing's taking my girl down :')

Remember when Carter tortured this old, ailing man and then he was kinda just carted off, leaving us with the grim impression his final days would be filled with innumberable, unspeakable horrors? :)

This chick who had like thirty abortions saying Weaver's probably a bitch because she never gets laid. I mean, was she wrong? #TheCreatureDoesn'tCount

Carter getting cut off from his trust fund and immediately only being able to afford ramen noodles. It was so performative lol. Like did he not have any money saved up or his own account where he stashed some of the money from his trust lmao like why was it straight to ramen noodles and trying to get a loan he had only been cut off for like a day why does he only have that one account?? The writing here for this was hmm

Me when Carter's wearing a weirdly fitted shirt in later seasons that's really tight over his stomach and you kinda are getting an intense feeling it might snap up at any moment and show us some of the belly

As a Taraji-noticer it is pretty glaring, I guess, to see her here playing Benton's niece and then in a later season she plays like a gang member friend of Benton's nephew and when we see her in that later storyline I'm like wait isn't that the nephew's sister why is she---like it kind of messed up that later storyline for me to have her play two different parts idk if this would've been noticed at the time as Taraji didn't start blowing up until I think the later 2000s so idk even with her not being famous she still stands out looks-wise so I couldn't have been the only one confused

Michael Uglyport shows up to play a deadbeat dad that's dying because a bunch of chemicals spilled all over him or some shit. He's supposed to look all grotesque and burned from the chemicals but what's great is the makeup department didn't even have to work this day, Michael just rolled up as himself and was able to play the scene as is :)

Romano trying to hunch on "Petey" and "Lizzie" this season and fumbling both in such immaculate and humiliating ways :') Maybe if you changed everything about yourself inside and out they'd rethink things and give you a chance :)

Why does Carter's meemaw act like him being a doctor is some tacky, embarrassing thing? It's not like he's an actor lol, like being a doctor is a good and noble profession? The Carter Crime Family are so fake-posh like you'd think they'd be proud of their weird-shaped boy for making good. All they care about is having Carter lead the family business cuz all the other kids are too inbred and disabled to take on the task. Well, who set that system up? #truthnuke

Solely screencapped this cuz I thought the baby was so adorable. #Cutebaby #Thebabywasforcedtoworktoplayacharacteronthisshow #slavelabor #childlabor

Y'all are at work right now...

My stomach hurts. Romano's little evil self congratulating Benton for snagging "Lizzie". Lmao, Romano, you can't have seriously thought you were any type of competition with Benton on the scene?? Shit, even if he wasn't on the scene, you wasn't about to be anybody's choice, chile the DELUSION.

What the fuck does Romano got on his head, you know what I honestly feel like he's rage baiting me. Like that's the only way someone like him can get attention so let me just ignore and starve him out and he better not do a mass shooting about it neither!

Why's Anna's crackhead ex giving quivering bottom omega eyes to Carter? #can'tfoolme #TopCarterCONFIRMATION

Fresh-faced? Well, not quite...

Never believe a crackhead. Can't wait to see what unfolds between these two next season :)

Season ends with a dude shooting up his entire family, tho conveniently there weren't enough bullets for him to do himself in. Mhmm. And then of course Hathaway immediately dumps this deranged lunatic onto Jeanie talking about Jeanie stay with him like of course she picks Jeanie to go stand next to the crazed family annihilator like I do not like Hathaway how many more seasons of this applehead trick do I got lord RELEASE ME (no one is making you do this??)