My Friend & His Wife (2006)

This movie was so ugly. Nah, you know what was ugly? Ye-joon.

Look at him. Like, ew. 

YOU KNOW, I AM MAD. I tuned into this shit thinking I was gon' get into some typical Korean drama. Wait, but...is there really a typicalness to Korean drama? Honestly, I've seen all sorts of shit go down. But sigh, a movie titled My Friend & His Wife...you expect a fairly simple love triangle, right? BUT WHY AM I SAYING THAT ACTING LIKE THE KOREANS DON'T BE TURNING UP AT EVERY OPPORTUNE MOMENT?? LIKE OLDBOY DOESN'T EXIST??? LIKE THAT WINTER, THE WIND BLOWS DIDN'T HAVE A BLIND CHARACTER AND FAKE INCEST??? LIKE BLOOD WASN'T ABOUT FUCKING VAMPIRE DOCTORS?!!?!? 

Sigh, idk. I really did expect something fairly straight down the line, you know. Two friends. One has a wife, one is a busy businessman who is too busy business to settle down, so is jealous of his homey and his girl and what they have. Orrrr he's been in love with his homey's girl all along and so that's why he's always single. Right okay and hijinks ensue. But BY HIJINKS I MEAN LIKE...Ye-joon tries to smash Ji-sook and either she wants him to or she doesn't but Jae-moon gets mad either way and he and Ye-joon's best friendship is irrevocably destroyed, END OF MOVIE. But why would I expect that, though? Maybe an American movie would have some corny storyline like that, but this is KOREAN DRAMA. And I know FOR A FACT that Korean drama is just consistently on some whole other level. So why am I playing dumb? Well, tbh, I don't have to play :/

Look I wasn't expecting some baby to end up dead. Yall are honestly doing too much. You know what really pissed me off about this movie, though? Ye-joon was so ugly and unlikeable. Like, I can't with him having zero redeemable qualities. Like, uhhh I guess he gave Jae-moon and Ji-sook money? BUT WASN'T IT ONLY AFTER HE KILLED THEIR BABY AND JAE-MOON HAD TO GO TO PRISON?!?!!? WHY DID JAE-MOON LIKE HIM?? WHY WAS HE LIKE IN LOVE WITH YE-JOON?? HE WAS MAD BORING AND A DICK?! WTF??!!!?!

And W H YYY did Jae-moon take the fall for him? THIS NIGGA KILLED UR KID???? Like, not intentionally BUT CAN WE TALK HOW CARELESSLY HE WAS LIKE SHAKING THE BABY BEFORE HE PUT HIM BACK IN THE CRIB??? Girl no. I would maybe forgive Ye-joon, MAYBE, if he hadn't have been "rocking" the baby like that before he tossed his ass into the crib FUCKING FACE FIRST. GIRL, BYE!! GOODNIGHT!!! 

I was actually laughing, that's how mad I was lol. Because as soon as he put the baby back in the crib I was screaming at the screen like "LOL OKAY IF THAT BABY DIES I'M DONE". SAYING THAT AND NOT EVEN ACTUALLY THINKING THE BABY WAS GONNA DIE BUT AS SOON AS THEY SWITCHED TO JAE-MOON TAKING ALL DAY PARKING THE CAR I KNEW HE WAS GONNA RETURN TO THE APARTMENT AND FIND THAT BABY DEAD AND I JUST STARTED SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS UNTIL BLOOD FILLED THEM AND I DIED. LIKE JAE-MOON AND JI-SOOK'S BABY :/

I was so...annoyed. And I love when kids die in movies. Not because I am a deeply disturbed individual, but just because it's high-drama. Luh me some high-drama! That's why I love k-dramas, but this was just too much for me. Because we had spent all that time with Ji-sook and Jae-moon, right? With their cute little scenes before Ji-sook had the baby, and then their relationship troubles after she did, and then they rounded back to being good again and Ji-sook could go to beauty school or whatever and it was like awwwww but whyyyyyyyyyyy did I think this movie was just gonna go back to happy without crashing right the fuck back down to tragedy LIKE SINCE WHEN EVER. DID I THINK THE MOVIE WAS GONNA END THIRTY MINUTES IN?? HMM?!?!

Whatever, I was annoyed. Still annoyed. Because not only did this baby die, but Jae-moon and Ji-sook's fucking relationship disintegrated and Jae-moon's wayyyy too loyal ass took the fall for Ye-joon and went to priz. Was it his fault for leaving the baby alone with Ye-joon's robot demon ass? YES SO HE DESERVED TO GO THERE. bye!! 

But I'm mad Ye-joon went after Ji-sook. Like, boy. And then he gets her and is like...yelling at her? AND CUMMING TOO FAST DURING SEX??? Nah, he is a demon. I hated him so much omg why would you make him have no good qualities it was so hard to watch LIKE WHY DID I WANT HIM TO DIE EVEN BEFORE HE KILLED THE BABY? I can't tell if the construction of Ye-joon's character was good or bad. Would it have been better if I felt any sympathy for him? Idk. I was just feeling wayyy too much hate while watching this omg. But no, it was probably for the best that he was so hateable. BUT IT WOULDA BEEN NICE TO ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO GET INTO THE ~LOVE TRIANGLE~ without feeling the whole time like "Will this creepy nigga just...go away?". I just don't feel that's how love triangles are supposed to be. Otherwise it's just a right angle...and then like a...a line segment sort of over there. You know? Very Edward vs. Jacob. Who EVER shipped Jacob's wolf ass with that tiny white devil Bella? Come on. Vamps are her people, that was never gonna work. Anyway, I want to die.

BUT HOW CUM THE FIRE AINT KILL YE-JOON?!?! THAT WAS HIM WRITING LETTERS TO THEM, RIGHT? Wait, am I remembering wrong? Did he die? All I remember is...Ji-sook and Jae-moon at some new hair salon and Ji-sook's pregnant and doing hair and Jae-moon is outside sweeping or something and the mailman pulls up with a letter and Jae-moon walks into the salon and gives it to Ji-sook and she stores it away...WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER IF YE-JOON DIED. YOU WOULD THINK THAT WOULD BE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME. Didn't Jae-moon try to save Ye-joon from the fire but he refused?? Girl. Idk. I hope that bitch died.