Cyberbu//y (2011)

This movie was hella dumb. Like anytime I'm on Tumblr and I see that screencap of Tyler, the Creator's twitter saying something how cyberbullying doesn't exist you just need to log off or something (but like more horribly put and in ALL CAPS), I roll my eyes because that's mad insensitive and dismissive and the internet is real life. But lol ummmmmm I kinda felt that way when I was watching this? Like, bitch, just log off??? 

Maybe because it was a cheesy ABC Family movie so I couldn't take it seriously?? So okay, this mess stars Haley Joel Osment's less ugly and bloated little sister Emily. She plays some high school bitch named Taylor. I watched this movie like two months ago smh so I forgot everything but...they have some Fake Myspace/Facebook type thing in the universe of this movie, where you can put up messages and videos or whatever blah blah.  

Taylor gets a message from some random dude on the Fake Myspace thing, and it's like obvious right away it's a Catfish lol smh. Omg I forget everything that happens I'm screaming. Someone...posts...something bad about Taylor on the Fake Myspace thing. Omg I am screaming because I am truly forgetting everything. Oh, I think the first thing that was posted was by her brother, right? Doesn't Taylor initially think it's the Mean Squad at school? So whatever her brother gets in trouble and that's brushed aside. But then...I think the Catfish dude posts something bad about Taylor and things spiral out with all this shit being posted about her on the site blah blah idfk lol I just remember thinking how dumb it was playing out in the movie. Like the minute I started getting harassed online I would just remove myself from it. Like okay people wanna play games that's fine and keep it moving. But I'm an Aquarius lol Taylor prob was some dramatic ass Gemini or Aries. Or like any Fire sign. 

Like she would be all up on the computer obsessing about the messages being written about her. And most of them were really cheesy, like, Canadian insults. Lol omg Taylor is such a kiss slut lol or whatever. I do think they started a rumor that she had the herp or something. I think the Catfish dude wrote that lol then Taylor's crush at school started distancing himself from her. Like in the beginning of the movie he asked her to homecoming or prom or whatever but then later reneged I wanted to scream.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW TAYLOR ALREADY BASICALLY HAD A BOO AT SCHOOL BUT STARTED FLIRTING WITH THAT CATFISH DUDE ONLINE, GETTING ALL HYPE? That's what her ass get! lol nah it's good to play the field when you're young, BUT LET'S DEFINITELY TALK ABOUT HER HATING ASS FRIEND, SAMANTHA, played by Disney icon Kay Panabaker. Can't name one thing I have seen Kay Panabaker in--WAIT, SUMMERLAND, RIGHT? SHE WAS IN SUMMERLAND? REMEMBER SUMMERLAND?? Lol remember Jesse McCartney? Is he dead? Sigh, I hope.

Would my blog be considered cyberbulling? There's truly no need to be coming for Jesse McCartney like that. What has he ever done to anyone? And Keith is one of my favorite movies of all time. Have you ever seen Keith? It's like Twilight but replace vampires with cancer. Um, and spoiler alert, btw...

Anyway! Smh, Taylor has this hatin ass friend named Samantha whom I pegged as the culprit behind the Catfish and the hate messages I think right away, before they threw that red herring of her brother in. I don't remember if this was supposed to be a mystery thriller lol with the audience trying to figure out who was anonymously disparaging Taylor, but I do know that it took a while to ~reveal~ it was Samantha. 

Samantha was hating so hard RIGHT A FUCKING WAY when the movie started because Taylor had a little thing going with Scott. Samantha was on some ALL MEN ARE DOGS type shit, telling Taylor that it was guaranteed Scott would eventually hurt her. Like damn, who hurt you? You're like fifteen lol like damn what's going on. We get some little backstory--Omg, like the tiniest glimpse of Samantha's life--and I guess she has a workaholic dad who doesn't pay attention to her? Ummmmmm lol, so? No, like, that sucks? But it's hard for me to understand...or like accept that's why this little girl is so bitter. Like she is out here acting like some fifty year old woman who's been ran through. Her character and backstory and everything didn't ring exactly true to me. But she's white, I don't understand white people lol so maybe it makes sense.

Samantha's dumb, hatin' ass drives Taylor to a suicide attempt and please understand about me that I was cackling at this movie THE ENTIRE TIME it was on, and yet? Not labeled as a comedy. Huh. 

It was so...funny to me when at the hospital Taylor's mom asked Samantha if she knew what was going on with her daughter, why had she tried to kill herself? And fucking Samantha acted like all this wasn't completely her doing. It was just entirely killing me how far she was going to troll her friend, so much so that she tries to take her own life lol like. Like it's not funny, but if you watch this, it kind of is??? Like she just kept it going. You're no one's friend. This bitch is on some complete psychopath shit, but I got a strange feeling from the movie that they were almost trying to sympathize with Samantha? Lol, no. Because this shit is real, and people really do kill themselves over stuff like this. Yes it was hilarious in the film, but in real life, I woulda beat Samantha's fucking ass for putting me through all that stress cuz her ass was jealous and weird. 

I still feel Taylor shoulda just hopped her ass off the computer. Or opened another tab at least. Like I don't really have cyberbulling experience, because, no offense, I don't entertain that shit. Cyberbulling to me is someone hacking my paypal account or something lol like post all the hate messages about me that you want just don't fuck with my coin. What do I honestly look like caring if you write that I have herpes? Bitch, that just means I get the d!! (I don't at all smh). Taylor shoulda just kept it moving when the harassment first started, BUT, AND HOWEVER, what's important to remember is that everyone does not deal with things the same way. I am someone who does not get fazed easily which is not me bragging I think I just have a lot of chips missing in my brain lol, but others have different emotional and mental responses, so it's not exactly fair to be like Log Off! or Get Over It! or It's Not That Serious, There Are More Imperative Things To Worry About! or whatever the usual dismissive rhetoric is. Coming from a completely insensitive person lol like, people need to be kinder and more understanding, or the fucking Holocaust will happen again (wait, does this sound like I'm a nazi-Sympathizer??). Putting aside the whole genocide deal for a second, do y'all remember the horrid concentration camp garb? I'm not wearing, like, wool pyjamas. Seems scratchy and uncomfy. Let's not play ourselves like that!! 

Waitwaitwait!! BUT REAL QUICK CAN WE TALK ABOUT TAYLOR'S OTHER FRIEND THAT MULATTO OR MAYBE INDIAN GIRL AND HOW SHE STOPPED FUCKING WITH TAYLOR BECAUSE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL STARTED TALKING SHIT TO HER BECAUSE OF TAYLOR AND SHE GOT ALL SHOOK LIKE "THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!"??!,! I WANTED TO DIE THAT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY SHE CRUMBLED! 

This movie was really bad...

That Winter, The Wind Blows II

Instead of recapping That Winter, The Wind Blows in episode order, I think I am just going to recap it using random pics from the show I found on Google. Mainly because I forgot a lot of shit and also the order in which it happened. But pics will revitalize my stupid memory!

Also, PICS!!! Because I have no attention span and PRETTTTTTTTY!

Okay, one of the main things I want to address about the show are - okay, I will attempt to correctly write the actor's name - In-seong Jo's acting ticks. Or, "choices". 

So, the pic above^ illustrates one of his go-tos. It's sort of this open-mouthed angry breath thing. He does this so much. Oh Soo has like two modes: angry and angry tears. Actually, really just angry tears. But sometimes Oh Soo is just something I'll call dry angry, where there are no tears. Possibly because the actor is too dried up from all his many wet angry scenes. So, anyway, anytime Oh Soo is pissed or offended, or shocked or whatever you get the above face. It's great but also terrible. Like this show. 

Here is another example. I think in this pic he is ~shocked~. This is probably when Attorney Jang visits him looking for Oh Soo 2. Should I explain Attorney Jang? NO, I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. 

One other "acting choice" In-seong Jo does a lot in the first ep, but then it sadly disappears, is this laugh-scoffing thing. Like, he's offended by something but you can see he's mentally telling himself "It doesn't matter I'M COOL. FUCK YOU, MOM!" Oh Soo in episode 1 is super cocky and obnoxious. He is obnoxious all throughout the show, but he loses the majority of his cockiness after his year in jail, as well as the laugh-scoff thing. He seems sort of beaten-down in his soul. The laugh-scoff thing is replaced by open-mouthed angry cry breathing for the rest of the show. There are a few moments when Oh Soo is ~happy~ and the laugh-scoff returns, but it's never the same. He's never the same. Wait, why do I miss episode 1 Oh Soo? He was a fucking dick. Well, at least episode 1 Oh Soo never sleep-kissed anyone. 

SPEAKING OF SLEEP KISSING!

So, I have watched three Korean Dramas thus far: this shit, I Miss You and currently The Master's Sun (which is really more of a comedy). I am about four episodes into The Master's Sun, and so far, no sleep-kissing. But it's happened in both That Winter, The Wind Blows and I Miss You, causing me to wonder if this may be a theme in k-dramas (because two means a theme ugh). 

Sleep kissing is when one character is asleep and another character takes advantage of this by kissing them. The intent behind the kiss, as far as I can tell is, "Please don't ever find out that I kissed you. THIS IS A SECRET THING I AM DOING." It's very...creepy. A lil rapey. I am being a bit unfair. It's pretty harmless and there really is no ill intent, especially in I Miss You where the sleep kiss occurs between two teenagers and it's accidental. Um, but in That Winter, The Wind Blows...Oh Soo...Wait, let me post the pic of the sleep kiss heard round the world.

Okay. Oh Soo attempts to sleep-kiss Young one or two times before he eventually succumbs to his ~desires~. The first time, Oh Soo stops himself from kissing a sleeping Young and says to himself something like "What am I doing? Am I crazy?" And I was like, YES GOOD DON'T DO THAT AND DEFINITELY FEEL WEIRD THAT YOU WERE ABOUT TO. But then a few episodes later...he does it anyway. In the pic above, Young's eyes are open. Because she is awoken by some dude macking on her face while she is unconscious. I get that it's supposed to be this romantic, sleeping beauty esque thing...but it's just weird. OH, ALSO, YOUNG THINKS OH SOO IS HER FUCKING BROTHER AND ALSO SHE IS BLIND. Not to take any agency away from blind people, but idk, it just makes it...especially worse? 

Speaking of worse. 

The cotton candy scene. Maybe...I should sum up the show from when Oh Soo 2 is rammed to death by a car in the street. So...Oh Soo 2, Young's real bro, dies. Oh Soo goes to jail because he was framed by his girlfriend. She stole money from Boss Kim but told Boss Kim it was Oh Soo who did it. A year later, when Oh Soo is released from prison, he is told that he has like 90 days to repay all that money back, or Jo Moo-chul will murder that ass. It's a lot of money and it's impossbile for Oh Soo to make it via gambling because Boss Kim has had him and Park Jin-sung blacklisted from the casinos or gambling rooms or whatever. LUCKY OH SOO, he gets a visit from a man named Attorney Jang looking for Oh Soo 2, the unclaimed heir of THE BUSINESS AND MONEY AND STUFF. Oh Soo is like: oh, yep, yeah, I am him. He moves in with Young, pretends to be her bro, and attempts to get close to her by lying about all kinds of shit, so he can gain access to dem funds. EVERYONE suspects that Oh Soo isn't really Young's bro. Like, he is not convincing at all. But despite everyone's deep, and justified suspicions, Oh Soo is allowed to remain at the mansion and force Young's blind ass to fall in love with him. ~~Her brother~~. At some point, Young mentions that Oh Soo owes her something from her childhood. She's like "don't you remember? If you bring that thing to me, then I'll know you're really my bro." Because Oh Soo is not actually this bitch's brother, he has no idea what she is talking about. But, even if he was, this is something that happened when Young was six. Who the fuck remembers shit when they were six? AND THE THING SHE'S TALKING ABOUT IS SUPER WEIRD AND SPECIFIC. It's fucking cotton candy. And how Oh Soo figures out what she is talking about is ridiculous. Like, literally it appears that he looked at a photograph of child-Young and was able to recreate the day that photograph took place in his brain. Like, on the show, it's playing as an original memory in his brain. BUT HOW I HAVE NO IDEA AS HE IS NOT YOUNG'S BROTHER AND WOULD HAVE NO MEMORY OF ANY OF THIS. NOR WOULD HE BE ABLE TO JUST CONSTRUCT AN ENTIRE MEMORY BASED ON ONE PICTURE. But anyway, he looks at a picture and a cotton-candy shaped lightbulb appears atop his dumb head. So he buys some AND BY THE WAY PULLS IT OUT OF THE TRUNK OF HIS CAR AND IT'S SOMEHOW PERFECTLY INTACT????

idk, anyway, Oh Soo and Young both smush their faces into the ball of perfectly intact cotton candy even though it was in the trunk of a car and it's the worst thing I have ever seen. 

Look^ at his face. I can't do this. Pray for me, Jesus. 

smh

SOMETHING THAT WAS INTENDED TO BE CUTE THAT ACTUALLY WAS

was a scene later on in the series when Oh Soo and Young go out to some weird ski lodge place for a conference or some shit. All the ski lodge shit is really cute, to be honest. But the thing that I rewinded because it killed me was

this^. Did I mention that Young is BLIND?? In this scene she is baking a fucking gateau or some shit. Because she is a blindo, she burns her hands on something. Immediately, Oh Soo takes her hands and presses them to his ears. Idk, to cool them off? To...heat his ears? ...Because he is a moron? DOESN'T MATTER - IT'S THE MOST ADORABLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. LOOK. AT. THAT. SHIT.

Young still thinks Oh Soo is her brother in this scene, btw. SO CUTE!~