Girlfriends (1978)

So like why did Susan even like Anne in the first place? She's mad annoying and flip-floppy. Why did she marry Bob Balaban when she was complaining about him being condescending? Also, has he always been 1,000 years old??? 

I liked this movie, I think, or, idk--I don't know how I feel about it! First of all, I watched this nearly an entire month ago and am only now getting around to ~reviewing~ it, so I forgot so many things. What did I not forget? SUSAN KISSING OLD ASS ELI WALLACH. SURE DIDN'T!!! SURE DIDN'T FORGET THAT!!!! 

What's with all the old ass dudes in this movie? Okay, like, two. And I don't even think Bobby B is actually an oldhead in this, like, he looks fifty but was maybe in his thirties? No shade to Bobby B, I love him, but this chalk-dusted nigga looks old as fuck. Maybe it's the hair. Was he bald in this movie? Like balding, right? Is Bob Balaban bald? Or does he have that Larry David like half-hair thing?? Pretty sure, right? Idk but Bobby B in his early days was not the aesthetic. He looks hotter now. Like he grew into his old ass looks. Where was I....going...withhhhhh. 

So Girlfriends is about two girlfriends! Two women who are friends living their lives!! Also I think the title of the film is one of those that's supposed to have more than one meaning. Ugh. Like, Susan and Anne are girlfriends in the sense that they are friends who are of the female race, but also they are like "girlfriends" in the more common...way. Like, two females fucking. Or at least in a romantical relationship. And there are lesbian undertones to this film. I think. I mean, they at least have that hitchikery hippie making a come-on to Susan. And also Susan and Anne fight like they fuck/used to fuck. Susan's yelling shit at Anne like "You left me!!" referring to her moving out/getting married to Bob Ballyb. And I guess female friendships are typically more than just friendshippy. Especially with bestfriends. Essentially Anne choosing to marry Bobby B meant she was moving from Susan as her main person, and making Bobby B that. And then Susan's all alone acting thirsty and desperate as hell and so I guess that why she tries to fuck not only a rabbi, but 212 years old Eli Wallach????

???

I liked that the movie focused more on the jew girl than the more vanilla bean flavored one. Melanie Mayron is, first of all, so cute! I love her hair and teeth. Seventies beauty aesthetics were so much more interesting than today's, I think. I love the big puffy hair and non-Hollywood ass smiles. They really had Mayron walking around this entire film with not a drop of serum in those locks. It might have been part of her character, who is lowkey a bit of a loser. Not like a loser loser, but sort of an adult who hasn't totally figured out adult stuff yet, and definitely not polished at all. Like compared to her other (successful) photographer friend with her cute coats and bob and sunglasses, Susan was a mess. Sloppy. But like a diamond in the rough, someone people would look at go "She has potential". But I'm here for diamond in the rough Susan. Not here for her tryna fuck Eli Wallach, though, but...it gets worse before it gets better? People make mistakes? Growing pains??????? You win some you lose some??? Two steps forward one million steps back????¿¿?

How did the chalkhead who played Anne end up getting a Globe nom but not Melanie, though? Like, this film is all Melanie Mayron all the way through? Anne could've stayed gone the minute she coupled up with Balaban. But then I guess the movie couldn't be called Girlfriends anymore? Sigh. Also I think the thing Anita Skinner was nominated for  was best newcomer or something. 1. Pia Zadora was nominated for that same shit, and 2. I don't think Mayron was a newcomer. I perused her imdb and I think she did stuff like Car Wash before this? AND OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WAS HER IN CAR WASH. But, like, why couldn't Mayron have been nominated for like best actress in a comedy? Even supporting?? It's the Globes, come on, I'm not asking for too much here. 

In conclusion, I can't believe people used to pick up hitchhikers. People don't do that anymore, right? Unless you see, like, John Waters standing on the side of the road. But, tbh, I'd rather pick up some random axe wielding murderer than John Waters. I feel like John Waters would expect me to entertain him, and then also be like subtly shading me even though he has one of those shit stain pencil thin 'staches. Never in my life will I tolerate being shaded by a slightly animated skeleton rocking a fucking bowtie and child molesting icecream man facial hair. (shout out to John Waters, tho - u da best!!)