I was never gonna watch this show. It looked basic af. Some douchey rich suit people cursing cool cuz HBO. Yeah, I'll pass, broseph.
Then I read a profile about Kieran Culkin in Vanity Fair (?) that was like 50% about his big sis Macaulay and the other half about how he's a middle school bodied freak who really loves wrestling and video games.
Which is to say, it was adorable.
Plus, I already had a crush on Keira before that. Why? I don't know, I have a lot of problems. I don't do anything about them because I don't feel like it, or care.
So here we are.
I watched Succession for Kieran Culkin and I stayed for uh...shit, Matthew Macfadyen?..
Man, what the fuck.
So this show isn't even good, right? I've def seen embarrassing, possibly retarded people talking about how good the writing (LMAO!) is and how amazing (wut) the scenes (um) and characters are (okay). But mostly I see people saying that they love Succession, and kind of wondering what the fuck. They aren't saying it's good, they just like it. But do not know why at all.
So here we are.
I hate absolutely every character. But good thing liking characters is simply a nice to have type of deal for me. Plus this is obvi the type of show where liking the characters would be inappropriate. Like watching A Clockwork Orange and thinking Alex is an absolute doll. Which I do. I'm glad Succession is too awful to make me accidentally like its shitty characters. But I also like that Succession isn't bad enough to be like, expecting me to like its garbage characters. Right? They're not doing an Entourage, right? Except...
No.
Succession doesn't expect me to like the characters, right?
No...
So let's talk about these so-called characters! ( ug h)
-Kendull. HATE. I hate Kendall so much. But what bothers me is that actually I don't really. I can't determine if I'm liking the actor, or feel sorry for his character? There's NO WAY it's either of those things, so I have no idea what's going on. I cringe at how desperate and pathetic he is. And what is with a grown man needing daddy's approval? I feel like I should understand him but everything he does and represents just makes me want to throw up. And now we're getting Bad Bitch Kendall, right? I'm rolling my eyes if they're going with the storyline that he's going to be the new whatever the dad's name is.
Did anyone else gag at the dad (what the fuck is his name???), like, smiling at the power move Kendall pulled on the season finale?? I hate this show. When the fuck is season three coming out hurry up!!
-Shiv Fucking Roy. Shiv is mad obnoxious but who doesn't love watching Sarah with her hooded eyes? What I'm wondering is why Shiv is all of a sudden interested in running/working at Whatever Company? Since when? She just chucks her political career? This show is crap. And what is the tea with her and Tom? She does not love this dude, it's so random. I read somewhere someone say (did Sarah say this? idk) that Shiv is with Tom because she trusts him? But in like a pathetic way. Like she's sure Tom won't/can't hurt her? Ie: doesn't have her heart so can't do shit with it. Would be interested to see who exactly could capture Shiv's heart and break it besides her dad. This show isn't deep lemme not ask for that before they give her a black boyfriend or something and embarrass themselves trying to be anti-woke edgelords.
Wait! I'm forgetting Kendall LITERALLY RAPPED FOR DADDY!!! WHAT THE FUCK. THAT WAS THE ABSOLUTE WORST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN OMG THAT REALLY HAPPENED
-Romey Rome. My baby. Pretty shitty guy, though. Am I a dummy, or does Ro have a different mom? Or is the British lady mum to all the kids? Why did I think he had a different mommy? And what was that shit about a cage... I want to feel bad for Roman, but he's too shitty. I'm super interested in this storyline with him and the old lady, though. I need a full-fledged fucked up romance and I need his heart broken. Put the Golden Globe nominee to work!
-The old one. Why does his prostitute girlfriend have a storyline?...
-Tom. Matt Macfadyen is so funny to me in this role and also I sometimes feel bad for his character. I liked how he helped that kid character once. The bar is low. I genuinely feel bad for him that Shiv doesn't love him like that. But he's subhuman diarrhea trash so who really cares.
-Jess. Give Jess lines! #justiceforjess
-The tall kid. Go away. Give his lines to Jess.
-The dad. What is his name. The dude Brian Cox plays. In the Vanity Fair profile I read, Brian Cox was trying to pitch...like Hamlet or something. With Kieran playing Hamlet and he cast himself as Hamlet's dad or some shit. It probably wasn't Hamlet it was prob some other shit. I don't know plays because I'm not a complete piece of shit. Anyway, Brian is clearly a Kieran stan, and that's all I care about. Also Brian thinks Kieran is like John Barrymore or some shit and that's just...it's really sweet lol
Where does The Succ fall on the HBO scale? Somewhere between Chernobyl (amazing but why is everyone British) and Mrs. Fletcher (a trying to be woke and relevant embarrassment written by some old white dude). Perfectly average with mild to moderate levels of radiation poisoning.
C-plus
Then I read a profile about Kieran Culkin in Vanity Fair (?) that was like 50% about his big sis Macaulay and the other half about how he's a middle school bodied freak who really loves wrestling and video games.
Which is to say, it was adorable.
Plus, I already had a crush on Keira before that. Why? I don't know, I have a lot of problems. I don't do anything about them because I don't feel like it, or care.
So here we are.
I watched Succession for Kieran Culkin and I stayed for uh...shit, Matthew Macfadyen?..
Man, what the fuck.
So this show isn't even good, right? I've def seen embarrassing, possibly retarded people talking about how good the writing (LMAO!) is and how amazing (wut) the scenes (um) and characters are (okay). But mostly I see people saying that they love Succession, and kind of wondering what the fuck. They aren't saying it's good, they just like it. But do not know why at all.
So here we are.
I hate absolutely every character. But good thing liking characters is simply a nice to have type of deal for me. Plus this is obvi the type of show where liking the characters would be inappropriate. Like watching A Clockwork Orange and thinking Alex is an absolute doll. Which I do. I'm glad Succession is too awful to make me accidentally like its shitty characters. But I also like that Succession isn't bad enough to be like, expecting me to like its garbage characters. Right? They're not doing an Entourage, right? Except...
No.
Succession doesn't expect me to like the characters, right?
No...
So let's talk about these so-called characters! ( ug h)
-Kendull. HATE. I hate Kendall so much. But what bothers me is that actually I don't really. I can't determine if I'm liking the actor, or feel sorry for his character? There's NO WAY it's either of those things, so I have no idea what's going on. I cringe at how desperate and pathetic he is. And what is with a grown man needing daddy's approval? I feel like I should understand him but everything he does and represents just makes me want to throw up. And now we're getting Bad Bitch Kendall, right? I'm rolling my eyes if they're going with the storyline that he's going to be the new whatever the dad's name is.
Did anyone else gag at the dad (what the fuck is his name???), like, smiling at the power move Kendall pulled on the season finale?? I hate this show. When the fuck is season three coming out hurry up!!
-Shiv Fucking Roy. Shiv is mad obnoxious but who doesn't love watching Sarah with her hooded eyes? What I'm wondering is why Shiv is all of a sudden interested in running/working at Whatever Company? Since when? She just chucks her political career? This show is crap. And what is the tea with her and Tom? She does not love this dude, it's so random. I read somewhere someone say (did Sarah say this? idk) that Shiv is with Tom because she trusts him? But in like a pathetic way. Like she's sure Tom won't/can't hurt her? Ie: doesn't have her heart so can't do shit with it. Would be interested to see who exactly could capture Shiv's heart and break it besides her dad. This show isn't deep lemme not ask for that before they give her a black boyfriend or something and embarrass themselves trying to be anti-woke edgelords.
Wait! I'm forgetting Kendall LITERALLY RAPPED FOR DADDY!!! WHAT THE FUCK. THAT WAS THE ABSOLUTE WORST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN OMG THAT REALLY HAPPENED
-Romey Rome. My baby. Pretty shitty guy, though. Am I a dummy, or does Ro have a different mom? Or is the British lady mum to all the kids? Why did I think he had a different mommy? And what was that shit about a cage... I want to feel bad for Roman, but he's too shitty. I'm super interested in this storyline with him and the old lady, though. I need a full-fledged fucked up romance and I need his heart broken. Put the Golden Globe nominee to work!
-The old one. Why does his prostitute girlfriend have a storyline?...
-Tom. Matt Macfadyen is so funny to me in this role and also I sometimes feel bad for his character. I liked how he helped that kid character once. The bar is low. I genuinely feel bad for him that Shiv doesn't love him like that. But he's subhuman diarrhea trash so who really cares.
-Jess. Give Jess lines! #justiceforjess
-The tall kid. Go away. Give his lines to Jess.
-The dad. What is his name. The dude Brian Cox plays. In the Vanity Fair profile I read, Brian Cox was trying to pitch...like Hamlet or something. With Kieran playing Hamlet and he cast himself as Hamlet's dad or some shit. It probably wasn't Hamlet it was prob some other shit. I don't know plays because I'm not a complete piece of shit. Anyway, Brian is clearly a Kieran stan, and that's all I care about. Also Brian thinks Kieran is like John Barrymore or some shit and that's just...it's really sweet lol
Where does The Succ fall on the HBO scale? Somewhere between Chernobyl (amazing but why is everyone British) and Mrs. Fletcher (a trying to be woke and relevant embarrassment written by some old white dude). Perfectly average with mild to moderate levels of radiation poisoning.
C-plus
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