Look in Any Window (1961)

(spent more effort on the fucking posters than the damn movie)

So there were all these movies made post-Rebel Without a Cause about ~~rebel~~ youths~~ which I now only refer to as ~delicate delinquents~ thanks to Jerry Lewis, who satirized this new genre in like 1957, loooooong before it was getting anywhere near wrapping up. Like, are we still doing the delicate delinquent thing? I feel like yeah. It's just, like, less leather jackety. No one looks like Sal Mineo today except for maybe Zac Posen (half Brando, half Sal???), who is not an actor, so. We have fucking Zach Braff now. Yay. No, but there are still some good ~lost rebel youth~ movies. Basically anything Dane DeHaan has done/been in, yeah? Omg he totally would have fit in during the James Dean craze. OMG ISN'T HE PLAYING JAMES DEAN IN A MOVIE SOON IT'S SO PERFECT. Sorry, wait. This...this post is supposed to be about...not Dane DeHaan. Unfortunately. Ugh, I should just quit and start an I Heart Dane DeHaan blog because really, he's all that matters. Like, why am I frontin' right now acting like anything else is even remotely close to being as important as him. Well him and Tom Hardy. Wow, STILL have not started talking about this actual movie I came here to talk about. Spoiler alert: I hated it. I'm stalling talking about it because maybe I might...die? From? Writing? About? How much? I hated? It??

Look in Any Window is about my spending at least forty minutes trying to determine what character Paul Anka is playing. I saw the name "Paul Anka" in the credits. I think it's either the first name listed, or he's listed beside Ruth Roman's name. Also the credits tell me Paul has sung the title song. Paul Anka sounds like an old fat guy name, so I was like...is he playing the ~troubled youth~? I really wasn't accepting that. I thought maybe Paul was the mother's ~lover~...and then I thought it was Ruth Roman's husband because that dude looked really fucking ridiculous and out of place and I'm like: Yeah, totally, that's the singer slash ~actor~. It was weird how it took me forever to accept Paul was playing the troubled youth idiot. Like, I knew zero facts about Paul Anka before watching this movie so...why did I have any preconceived notions about him??? Ugh, you can REALLY see how much I hated this movie in that I am almost refusing to talk about the actual movie. I'm like: WHO DID PAUL ANKA PLAY THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FAT PERSON NAME BUT NO FAT PEOPLE IN MOVIE SYSTEM OVERLOAD. I really truly was spending most of my time being like "Is that Paul Anka?" ughggggh

So Paul Anka is playing - pause while I go look this shit up on imdb.com - Craig Fowler. Whatever. He's...a peeping tom. He wears this HORRIFYING mask and, like, goes around his neighborhood looking into people's windows. You can tell how white and old this shit is when the police are treating some kid leering into people's CURTAINLESS windows like it's a fucking code red terrorist threat or some shit. I don't mean to dismiss...how fucking creepy and unnervving peeping toms are. Like, it's for real. But the movie shows us Paul doing this and you're just like: *shrug*. It's almost immediately clear he's just doing it because he's lonely and his own family sucks seventeen gangrene dicks. Paul's mom, Ruth Roman, is having an affair with her next door neighbor friend's husband. He's a douche and looks...like an albino human football. I don't--he's odd...in appearance. He's like some machomacho type and he's neglecting his wife and their relationship is terrible and, gah, it's all so horrible. But not in a good way. The only actually okay thing in this movie is the performance by the woman who plays the neighbor wife, Carole Mathews. She's like in an entirely different fucking film. She was really serving me it. Like, she'd be that actress in a terrible soap opera that'd accidentally make the soap more terrible because she doesn't fall in line with everyone else's extreme mediocrity. That was sort of happening here. This movie is terrible, and then I get these little glimpses of goodness and it makes me hate it more. Like, why can't I just chill and hate this entirely? Come on.

So, Paul/Craig's parents are fucked up. His mom is wearing a bathing suit like the entire time and his dad is drunk and apparently also thinks he's in an entirely different film??? Or, perhaps, doesn't know he's an actor at all???? God, the dude who played Paul's father. What a fucking embarrassment. I mean, wow. Just, wow. I'm laughing thinking about how not fucking on that shit was. However, I was entertained by him. I'M A DRUNK PILOT HOW DARE THEY FIRE MEEEEE. I don't think he ever said this, I'm not even one hundred that he was actually a pilot, but he was certainly drunk. Drunk in a way that maybe Pee-wee from Pee-wee's Playhouse would think drunk is???? Embarrassing, truly. But great. In its not-greatness. And...when the father comes on the scene I'm thinking: Hmmm maybe this'll end up being one of those so bad it's good type of deals. I love super-shitty movies that are so shitty they end up not being that. They're Mommie Dearest, or there's so many unnecessary zoom-ins that I start pee-laughing, or Nicolas Cage. I love movies like that. And I thought maybe this would be that BUT NO LET'S SHUT IT DOWN RIGHT NOW, IT WASN'T. This movie is just-bad. Nothing else. I couldn't fucking wait for it to go off and it's like eighty minutes long. It felt like eighty years, dawg. 

Like, I couldn't even get excited when that neighbor girl smashed into that glass table and ended up not dying for some reason. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO LOVE THAT SO MUCH. Or that cop who was really aggressive and cynical and hostile for no reason. The older one of the two cops patrolling the neighborhood?? What was his fucking problem?? I couldn't even like how insane he seemed because this movie truly made me not want to live anymore. OR REMEMBER WHEN THE MOM JUST, LIKE, LEFT THE HOSE RUNNING ON THE GRASS????????? WHO DOES THAT???? SHE JUST HOPPED IN THAT DUDE'S CAR AND THEY WENT TO VEGAS LIKE WTF AND THEN PAUL COMES HOME LIKE EIGHT HOURS LATER AND THE FUCKING HOSE IS STILL RUNNING??!?!? No wonder that little chunk is spying into people's homes. Like, Paul's mommy can't even be bothered to turn off a garden hose. Do you think she can manage to get down to the store and buy a TV for little Pauly to watch?? She'll try to hire one of the Mexicans to help her carry it to the car and little José or Domingo or whatever will take off with it. No TV for little Pauly, so he peeps into these boring motherfuckers' windows. AND THE MOVIE MAKES VERY CLEAR THAT EVERYONE ELSE'S LIVES ARE SUPER TERRIBLE BUT ALSO BORING SO WTF IS PAUL EVEN DOING??? This movie is trying super hard to make some sort of point but, as is often the case with these type of films, I have no idea what it is. No, I know what it is. I know what they meant. But they failed. All I learned from this movie is that you can avoid being accused of a crime by simply running over to your house and putting a fucking robe on. Hmmm were you hanging out with a lovely lady and then you tried to rape her maybe and then in her haste to escape your clutches she smashes into a glass table????????? Just pop on over to your house and pop on a robe. You're basically wearing an invisibility cloak, son. 

Speaking of invisibility cloaks (no): 

Did I hate Paul? I don't know. He barely had any lines (prob for the best). But you know what I loved? Anytime he looked like this^? Because I think it's hot? No, quite the opposite. Oh goodness, look at his legs. He's serving me everything I never knew I needed. And, sort of, I definitely now know I dont??

I can't with this. Definitely watch this movie solely for Paul Anka lounging seductively in his bed after his mommy brings him breakfast. Also, I think when she comes in he's looking at porn? Something weird, because he hides it. I don't know, maybe his bra?? 

*oof sounds*

I took notes while watching Lifetime's Whitney ~biopic~????

ok, right away Yaya DaCosta looks super ridiculous and nothing like Whitney Houston at all. "Time to be Whitney Houston". OKAY, BUT WHEN??

oh, shit Luther. CAN I GET A LUTHER VANDROSS BIOPIC, LIFETIME??? Cast Leslie Jones. ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmg. No, but do this. 

"witcho big head self" accurate; black ppl. Black crackheads. 

WAIT, SO BOBBY IS A HUGE FUCKING DICK AND WHITNEY IS LIKE: yep, dats me. Future wifey. ugh

this dude looks -550% anything like Bobby Brown. And, good. 

w8, but this is clearly, specifically, about Whitney and Bobby's relationship. Why didn't they label it like how they did Liz & Dick??? It's not like including Bobby's name in the title would turn people off from watching. Their horrible relationship is prob the most famous thing about her so, tres confused.

"I was just messin' with you" OKAY. 

ANITA BAKER. And still alive. 

"As of tonight, I'm a Bobby Brown fan." lol shade because she wasn't before. 

WHY WOULD SHE SAY YES TO A DATE WITH THIS COON? Come on. What is that hairstyle? And what was that performance? ugggh why do u like him, Whitney? She was obvi on drugs b4 she met this dude because I MEAN!

This singing is...awkward. Not only is it not Whitney's voice, but it's not Yaya's either. How does...that work?????????

This movie should be cheekily called "The Greatest Love Of All". Wait, is that cheeky or offensive?? 

Shopping on Rodeo? Ugh, so basic.

Was that drink-spilling in the script? THIS IS IMPORTANT I NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S LIKE A FORESHADOWING DEVICE.

The true star of this "film" will prove to be Robin. #calledit

Yaya is giving me Jackée Harry tease. Is that...good? Well, no, because this isn't a Jackée Harry biopic EVEN THOUGH IT SHOULD BE

OMG ARE THEY IMPLYING WHITNEY GOT BOBBY HOOKED?!?!?

"I aint got no margin for error" LOL OKAY

Wait, what is this sentimental music coming on as he brags about buying his dumb mom a house? #stahp

Is Irene Cara dead? lol if she isn't

lol @ Whitney just bringing her crack drugs out in Clive's office like it's mints or some shit. And even more horrible, A BURGER AND FRIES? Who orders some thick-ass lunch like that at a business meeting? I can't with this bitch.

WAIT, WHO IS PLAYING CLIVE. HE IS IMMEDIATELY KILLING ME. "STAY AWAY FROM THE YELLOW" ?!?!?!1!?! *Jew voice* "You look like a canary" 

Ew, their awkward ~flirty~ date convo. 

Wait, this movie is being suspiciously ultra-kind to Bobby, right? It's making me uncomfortable. Like imagine a Chris/Rihanna biopic and Chris is like "I guess it's just a case of the brain in my fist being bigger than the brain in my head LOL OOPSIES"

lol this sex scene. What is this music please???

IRENE CARA IS STILL ALIVE WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY TO ME

WHO. THE FUCK. IS THIS NIGGA PLAYING EDDIE MURPHY? OMG THIS FUCKING MESS ugggggh it's so terrible

lol is Bobby seriously jealous of...a TV monitor???????????????????????

*cringing* Please don't punch her OH OKAY FALSE ALARM. Whew. lol fake-whew because abuse would actually make this mess interesting

I can't take Bobby seriously with this fucking wedge on his head. This artful pubic shrub??? This skateboard ramp made of....kinks????

Aw Yaya is trying really hard. *condescending half-smile*

omfg is the black dude from What I Like About You playing Babyface? LIFETIME, NO.

Do I sense a ~connection~ between Not-So-Babyface and Whitney????

lol I thought Bebeface was about to tell Whit that Bobby punts babies for fun or something

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I am uncomfortable with the parallels between Sparkle and Whitney's life. AND IT'S WEIRD HOW IT'S SO MUCH HER FAVORITE MOVIE SHE GOES AS FAR AS TO EMULATE THE FUCKED UP RELATIONSHIP IN IT??? SHE'S, LIKE, INSPIRED BY THE WRONG THING??!?!?!? iiiiii....i...don't understand. LIKE SHE'S WATCHING THIS MESS AND THEN CALLING BOBBY BECAUSE??!?!?!?

lol he has a full-blown family, I can't. And what is that child's name? LaPrenthia???!?!

"He makes me laugh" *Robin face*

Is Yaya...hispanic? *Robin face*

i h8 their ~romantic~ scenes. It's fucking gross. Also, I'm really immature. But that has nothing to do with my utter disgust. It's like 99% because of Bobby's silky shirts.

"I JUST HOPE IT'S NOT BOBBY BROWN" *Robin face*

Whitney's mom is either the mom from Gulla Gulla Island...or

OMG THIS TRAILER FOR THIS KEVIN COSTNER MESS. "DO YOU DISLIKE BLACK PEOPLE?" *KEVIN COSTNER VOICE* "NOT ALL OF THEM". Basically. 

Anyway, back to me pontificating about where I've seen Whitney's mom before. Either Gulla Gulla with an actual fucking giant frog as the main character, or...Parenthood, right? Or both??? I'm not looking it up because immediately I no longer care. I won't even look up how to properly spell Gulla Gulla's Island or if that's even the actual name of the show becuz #thug life

0HMG00DJESSMWUA WHAT IS THIS NEW ROB LOWE MESS????????????? I'M SO EXCITED HE'S THE BEST/WORST.

#who'skim??

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Sir Brown tells Whitney "Kim" is preg and her first response is to do coke??? Since...when?????? How does that............?????

Why am I watching this??? I wish I was dead. I wish I was...doing coke??? Oh, I get drug addiction now. Shit.

ugh, I wish this movie was about Whitney's time filming The Bodyguard. Who'd play Costner? lol what if it was actual Costner? I can imagine him being like "Whitney was my best friend. I will honor her by playing myself in this eventho I am a thousand and it's ridiculous"

no shade but....smoking can't be good for fetuses..............#antismokingblog

It's SO WEIRD when they show Bobby in a good/supportive light. I know he's not Hitler but............sort of, though, right??? Did...he advise on this film? I bet he did because...there's no other explanation for this. Sigh, maybe it's just humanizing him...or...showing all his sides. But I'm seriously getting vibes they're trying to make him look way better than he actually is and I'm like why?? Ugh, idk. Do I even really care????????? Yes, it's making me feel weird. He's going to give up his tour to support Whitney? YEAH, ALRIGHT. Sure. Sure sure sure. Ugh, you know, I watched that reality show of there's. Bobby put his finger up this bitch's butt to relieve constipation. You can't be a total monster doing shit like that. Unless, you have sort of a...fetish? AND NOW WE'RE BACK!

I'm loving these horrible fucking ensembles at the wedding. 

*Robin face* 

*Whitney's mom trying to pretend to be happy but the screams are leaking out anyway face*

"She's so beautiful" [beat] "and she looks like her daddy" half-true. 50%, good enough. F. 

CLIVE IS BACK! Those glasses. Are the lenses...orange? or, halt, CANARY?!?! No, they look very kidney disease piss.

lol Clive is gonna smack Bobby or choke him by the back of the neck and force him to get Whitney to work GOD PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN. Clive is so g'd-up. I need him to pull some thug shit on Bobby PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE.

*Clive's comb-over*

Clive didn't kick Bobby in the chest and I have an attitude about it. But Bobby got his feelings hurt, so, good enough! No, actually, because now I'm imagining Clive wearing Timbs and just stomping all over Bobby's soul and I'm depressed I will never see this actualized. CAN I AT LEAST SEE CLIVE ROCKING SOME TIMBS. THE ORIGINAL YELLOW ONES.

How does Bobby have a compilation disc? Who does he think he is - MC Hammer? #ha

You know, I just realized I actually know very little about Bobby Brown. My image of him is the image that was pushed by whoever. #TeamWhitney, I guess. So, I just hate him based off that. I mean, I don't hate him...because I don't really care, but I have an entirely negative/assholey impression of him. So, going into this, I was expecting just, like, 100% of his scenes basically being all of Laurence Fishburne's scenes in What's Love Got to Do With it. But mostly-nice Bobby ~with flaws~~ is not what I'm here for. He's not screaming in every scene and pulling a ~less famous jealous partner~ and I'm distraught. I wish this movie was done in the vein of Mommie Dearest where it's just a ludicrous caricature and horrendous make-up and styling and acting. Well....they sort of got that part right.............so, thanx. Thanks for bad styling and acting, Whitney. Ugh, but the styling and acting aren't bad enough. It's so-so. So-so is not good enough!! Or bad enough!! I don't watch Lifetime for so-so!! I don't watch Lifetime, period. So. I regret everything. All of this. Living. 

Yaya doing Whitney's head nods, tho. 

Was that Tyrese in the audience??.................... -_-

I'm slightly getting my life to this "I'm Every Woman" montage...thing.

omgomgomg Yaya doing Whitney doing "Chaka Khan. Chaka Khan!" 

No, but Yaya really is trying really hard. Like, props. *condescending pat on the hair*

Their matching red outfits. 

Bobby Brown: Remembering Whitney??? Yeah, there's no way he didn't have a huge hand in this movie. Everything about this mess entirely explained, thanks. 

50 Shades of Grey is going to be really bad but I fear not in an entertaining way. Which, is doing it all wrong. Sigh. Still seeing it. Going to regret it. Always, always, always. Why don't I ever learn? I wish I was better. I should, seriously, start doing coke. Like, for real, this movie is making me think it makes you get really into your I'M EVERY WOMAN feelings. I need something to make me not be so lame anymore. Not be so "going to see 50 Shades anyway eventho it will obviously be terrible and Jamie Dornan's face is like too small, right? It's too small." Yes, I will start doing drugs. It's been decided. If anything, maybe it'll make Jamie Dornan's face Ryan Reynolds'-esque. NO, GOD, NO. 

oh, god, who is this video ho? Did they have video hos back then? "It's Cheryl". Ahead of your time, bitch. She'd have her own reality show today. Hmmm, maybe she does. Maybe she's on Real Housewives Atlanta. Sheree???? Right?? There's one named Sheeree or something? Is that what she said??? Instead of Cheryl?? lol I'm so bored

mmmmm Whitney and Bobby dancing. NO THANK U

"Whitney wouldn't like it" HE NEVER FUCKING SAID THESE WORDS IN HIS LIFE WHY R U LYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYING

Who is this extra-ass jailbird character? Sigh, is this movie about Whitney or Bobby? come on, son.

Why..........did the scene cut from her discovering him fucking that bitch to...her waking up in a bed? WHAT WAS THE CONFRONTATION OMG WTF 

Okay, here we go. A confrontation scene, but....why did they cut that other one?? Ugh, I can't wait for this to be over lol 

The best ~Lifetime biopic~ I've seen (I've seen like three including this one lol) was that one Rob Lowe did with...I think his name was Scott Peterson. But not the hot Scott Peterson. Another one. Like some older douche-looking dude with a moustache. Whom Rob Lowe looked zero like. It was really amazing and Rob killed it and I'm wondering why that movie was the best and this movie isn't? Prob acting. Like, Rob didn't give a fuck. In a good way. Not in that Lindsay Lohan way (side-eye at Liz & Dick). This movie isn't horrendous...it's a TV movie on basic cable. It's what it's supposed to be. Idk wtf I was expecting. I think I wanted more ridiculousness?? Like Whitney and Bobby were/are both really extra. This movie isn't extra enough. Sigh, whatever. Only ten more minutes left then I can be free to kill myself or whatever it was I was putting off until I finished the movie. 

wtf are these scenes with this Jail person. No, seriously??? SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THIS???

lol omg just to set up this mess where a dude is shot in front of Bobby ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh AND HOW DID THE BULLETS NOT GO THROUGH HIS HEAD INTO BOBBY'S HEAD??? DO I JUST ZERO PERCENT KNOW HOW BULLETS WORK?!?!

lol that guy's name was Steve

OMG WHEN YAYA WENT ON STAGE AND WAS CLAPPING LIKE THAT I CAN'T

Bobby sort of looks like Professor Olgevee.....................................

and omg at this rehab scene. BOBBY TRIED TO IMPROVE HIMSELF, EVERYBODY. 

immediate no to a non-Whitney versh of "I Will Always Love You". They're trying to make me get in my feelings but "Whitney" is being too cracky, so, no. 

Okay this mess is over and I regret every single moment and I regret taking "notes". Like, if you're taking notes......if a thing requires not your total attention....ugh why don't I just fucking give up. I'm gonna go eat a dougnut or something. That's a lie, it'll probably be rye bread. Sad food for me is rye bread. oh god

I watched the Globes and took notes like a cool person II

I just very briefly watched some of the globes red carpet coverage and immediately I wanted to melon ball my eyeballs out. They're interviewing Clooney and Amal and omgmmg. The interviewer person is like HEY GEORGE REMEMBER LAST YEAR WHEN TINA AND AMY MADE FUN OF YOU FOR NOT BEING MARRIED OR SOMETHING And then she's like NOW YOU'RE MARRIED. And then Clooney is like WELL I CERTAINLY DIDN'T DO IT JUST BECAUSE THEY SAID THAT and he laughs but that sort of laugh where it's only coming from the mouth but behind the eyes all you see is rage. I can't deal with these celebrity interview things, they are soooo awkward. And I don't even like Clooney, but I just can't. He looked seriously pissed lol omg. At least Amal is like the most gorgeous person ever. One of them, calm down. 

OMG ARE JAKE AND MAGGIE EACH OTHER'S DATES??? No, I'm not still watching Red Carpet. I PUT IT ON MUTE SO THAT COUNTS AS NOT WATCHING IT. oh boy, there are going to be sooo many caps tonight. THERE BETTER BE.

Edward Norton is still hot but he's like jowly now, right? Am I into the jowls???? Fuck I'm just glad he's nominated for something. PLEASE HAVE A LEGIT COMEBACK. No, I know you didn't go anywhere. But...a little bit you did? Like, were you fifth billed in that Jason Bourne remix with Renner? ehhh

So, still totally not watching this red carp cov. VIOLA IS SOOOOO GORGEOUS. She had on that cute ass pink at The People's Choice Abortion (WHICH I ALSO DID NOT WATCH) and now she has on this beautiful red. It really blends well with her skin tone. The whiteys will try to keep up BUT THEY WILL FAIL. Except Tilda if she comes. And Marion. Is Marion coming? PLEASE MARION BE HERE. Ugh, I feel like she wasn't nominated for anything. This is bullshit, Marion should be nominated every year just for being alive. Come on!

Seriously. These "interviews". They ask Patricia Arquette some vaguely deep question like "Did you see yourself in the film" and Patricia is like I SAW EVERYONE GET DIVORCED AND HAVE KIDS and then the interviewer is like [too short beat] "Patricia Arquette. WHO ARE YOU WEARING?" So cringe-y. Can't. 

And Matt, that newsperson whoever, just tried to make a joke about having a prosthetic nose??? #haha

OMG WHEN CARSON DALY WHO USED TO BE ON TRL TALKED TO JANE BEFORE RICKY. You can tell Ricky was legit offended. I can't even imagine being in a longtermy ass relationship with him lol omg #feel4ujane

O h s h i t David Oyelowo's voice. Does he...sound exactly like my childhood doctor? Now i'm uncomfortable. That dude used to feel my stomach? What medical test is that, my guy? 

Um, the actual Globes

------------------

deep slam @ The Interview. Is it a slam if it's true? That movie looks like gar-bage. 

FRANCES MCDORMAND. 

slam @ Brits doing ~aMeRiCAn ACCents~~. Yes.

WES ANDERSON OMG HE ACTUALLY EXISTS.

Yes more Clooney slams. Even better than last year. I hope he's just straight up shot in the face next year. #fingerscrossed

Farrell or Firth? NO BRAINER, FARRELL. Get that king's speech shiz out of here. 

NORTON OR RUFFALO? Jowls.

Yes, Cosby slam. SO MANY SLAMS. lol Tina's impersonation. It's like, racist? Or am I talking about when she did Tyler Perry? #cringefacemixedwithpleasedafterpoopingface??

Lizard King....this shit is awkward, right? Like, I thought this was planned...but Jen can't do improv? And Lizard King is sweaty and talking while she's talking oh goddd

omg JK Simmons told ppl to shut up and I feel like they got upset really quick???? AMAZING. YES, MILES SHOUT-OUT. 

JLO AND JEREMY YES MY DREAMMSMSMSMSMS. OMG JEREMY LAUGHING YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!! IS JEREMY DRUNK??? I LOVE HOW HE BLATANTLY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT READING THE TELEPROMPTER PROPERLY. lol why do I think someone has to be drunk to not give a shit about the globes???? 

YES, FARGO! lol calm down oh god I'm about to max out my caps (this isn't a thing, but it should be) Wait, is Martin Freeman not here? ugggh he's too cool for the globes and he has a life and stuff probably. WHY. 

OMG NO JEREMY STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE STRAIGHT. Straight dudes don't refer to women's breasts as "globes". #can't

Exactly, Billy Bob. But also you're probably racist, right? Like, you can't talk for longer than a minute without saying something racist, right? lol

Is this....is this Movies Wow person thing...racist? It is, right? And it's not even funny so....................... #cringe #nopleasedafterpoopingface #teamkoreans #butonlysouthkoreansletsbehonest

DON CHEADLE SAID SOMETHING TO EMILY BLUNT WHAT WAS IT OMG THIS IS LIKE THE END OF LOST IN TRANSLATION INSTEAD I ACTUALLY CARE THIS TIME

lol why is everyone standing up clapping? I entirely ignored everything he said. #noregrets

Edie Falco is really cute, right? I need someone to tell me: yes or no, she is or is not cute. 

Oh, shit, Jane the Virgin won. I've only seen three eps of that show but let's just address how the true star of that show is obviously the mom. But Jane is cute, so, I guess. 

"Thank you God for making me an artist" oooh boy

GABY FUCKING HOFFMANN BETTER BE HERE, THAT'S ALL I KNOW. No Gaby, so I don't care. Eventho I def need to see this show. But, ugh, Amazon Prime. 

PRINCEEEEEEEE! ARE U FUCKING KIDDING MEEEEEEE AND DOES HE HAVE A BLIND PERSON CANE OMFFFFFFGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOODDDDD

oh boy Common is extra as hell

Chrissy Teigen is really cute. That's all I got.

Both Katie Holmes' and Seth Meyer's names should just be "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

I can't w8 for Bomer's Monty Clift movie. If it's good I can't wait to rave, but I semi-super hope it's terrible so I can lose my mind complaining. ALL CAPS.

OMG MATT JUST WON. lol srsly lose a bunch of w8 ALL THE AWARDS. Who should've won was Joe Mantello. But he wasn't even nominated becuz Hollywood is super basic and I guess that's why I'm sitting here watching this shit. #someregrets

*Ricky squee* NO, SAY STUFF!!! omg i love him. 

AMMMMMYMYMMYMYYYYY!!! If a child abuse scandal or something horrible like that happened with Amy I'd still love her. Prob, I'd love her even more. #lesbihonest

omg Jon Voight slapping Colin Hanx a lil???????? #teamchet

oooooh Kate Hudson looks cute. 

Special tribute to George Clooney??????????????? *Tommy Lee Jones face* lol did I just hope he gets shot in the face earlier up there? Earlier in the notes??? At least it's not fucking Jodie Foster. But oh boy...I bet Clooney'll make some long ass awkward speech right? So, worse than Jodie because at least she's vaguely interesting. And she's friends with RDJ and acclaimed racist Melly Gibsons. Who is Clooney friends with?? It's already been proven he doesn't actually hang out with the Jolie-Pitts, so I've got nothing. BORING!

No, omg take this North Korean person joke thing away. I HATE IT. Wait - is that Margaret Cho? *Walter White's horrified face*

Yo, Alejandro Iñárritu can def get it. Let's go, let's do this. 

Can Get It, Part deux: Jane Fonda.

Oh, shit, slam @ men in comedy. #yep

How the fuck did William H get a nom for Shameless but not Emmy? HER NAME IS EMMY. Okay, yes, this is the Globes, SO I'LL DIRECT MY CAPS AT THE EMMYS WHO ALSO DID NOT NOMINATE HER. #thefuck?

LUPITA AND COLIN! #dreamship???

I'm looking over these notes and wondering: 1, am i bi-polar? Like, do I have a serious mental problem? (Yes) 2, why don't I just get a Twitter? (cuz Twitter sux and fuck 140 characters) 3, no I def have a mental problem 4, oh well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ADRIEN BRODY!!!!! ugh I loved him in Grand Budapest. I'm so glad he still gets invited to these things *condescending smile*

ooooh, I think I want Frances to win for Olive Kitteridge. She was amazing. But J Lange!! ugh, idk

hmmm Maggie won. She was good, but...not better than Frances. I'm not mad though, I didn't even know that fucking show got nominated for anything so...cute. 

If I were really weird (I'm not????) I would write Maggie/Jake erotic fanfic. Also, if I could imagine Jake having heterosexual sex. Nope, before you ask, not even in an incestuous scenario. Not even squinting and imagining Maggie as a boy. Maybe if Sarsgaaaaaaaard is standing crying in the corner. Def if he's weepily, slowly jacking off. OKAY, IT'S HAPPENING. 

I feel like if anyone is the "complicated woman" in Maggie and Peter's relationship it's Peter. *Jake Gyllenhaal face*

The Affair won but................................................................. at least I get to see cute shots of Diane Kruger getting all excited and kissing up on her beau. But srsly, The Affair annoyed me. But I didn't see any of those other nominees so I can't say shit. Maybe it was the best out of the other four shitty-looking shows???? I would've been okay with Ruth getting a nom/win, tho. She's perfect. UGGGGH. #conflictedfeelings #youdoknowshowslikehannibalandrectifyexistright?????

WAIT. HOLD UP. I THOUGHT BEN AND ROBIN BROKE UP??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? AND OMG HIM LIKE STARRRRRING AT HER REALLY LONG AND HER IGNORING HIM? OMG I'M READING SOOO MUCH INTO THAT!!! He is going to kill her. Omg I can't wait, scandals are fun!

George Clooney's friends: The Good Wife and Don Cheadle. I love Don Cheadle, but there's no way he gets an invite to Lake Como, so that doesn't count. And who the eff cares about Julianna Margulies? Well, a lot of people, I guess. BUT *Katy Perry voice* NOT ME!

Oh god seeing Sam Rockwell is just making me depressed that fucking George Clooney is being honored with a lifetime achievement award. A lifetime achievement award for what? Being consistently mediocre? #gag Ugh they're giving me Tilda and Vera and they're all soooooo much more important than him!! INFURIATING.

OMG William H rubbing Felicity's back a lil. I entirely forgot they were married. lol I love how I am not paying attention to this speech at all in any way. He seems to be trying to do jokes?? Also, is he throwing shade? But in like a smug White Guy way? #blah

ew omg him talking about love I WANT TO DIE OMG THIS IS THE WORST. He just used the word "alchemy". I just.........

oh! Ruth was nominated! OKAY lol. OMG RUTH WON! Good, she's great on The Affair. But ugh I so wish her character wasn't into Noah because he sux and should be dead :)   lol I love how her speech is maybe a little obnoxious? #iloveit

omg Michael Keaton's speech. At first I was like: omg this is long and weird. And then I realized this is probably his first big award moment and omg when he said his son was his best friend. This was the cutest thing I have ever seen. Omg I almost got emotional. Like, I almost felt an emotion. #progress

I reaaaally need to see Foxcatcher. I'm so excited for Carrell's creepiness. His "...Mark." in the trailer. *Danny Castellano voice* "Chilling". 

OMG GRAND BUDAPEST WON. WES ANDERSON IS GOING TO SAY STUFF!!! MAYBE EVEN RALPH?!?!?!?! lol omg this Grand Budapest win may be my fave moment of the night. lol is that sad? But Goldblum and Schwartzman and Fiennes all on stage and Wes doing "jokes" in his Wes way and ugggggggh the only thing that was missing were ZERO AND AGATHA. Come on! Suddenly, my worst moment from the night. *Zero face*

I love Julianne Moore but I'm not tryna see Still Alice. It looks really try-hard. And Kristen Stewart appears to have more than zero lines?? Less than zero times will I be watching that mess. 

*Edie Falco face*

Oh shit Gwyneth Paltrow looks really cute. #apocalypsenow

Hmm Eddie won. I'm excited for his speech but it's prob gonna be extra posh and obnoxious. Me, always at him: At least he has on that amazing suit. 

*Jake G not winning face*

omg Eddie called Felicity a "formidable actress". So posh and sooooo true. Can't w8 til Felicity blows up next year. RIGHT?!

omg what the fuck kind of conversation were Jake and Maggie having?!!?! THIS IS ALL I CARE ABOUT AND ALL I WILL EVER CARE ABOUT.

Wow, I'm really ready for this to be over :)

True star of the night: This random old guy who gave money to Dickie Linklater to make Boyhood. 

omg, Margaret Cho. #why??

Alright, I'm going to watch Girls and Shameless siiiiiiiiigh

Is Purple Rain my favorite movie?

No, that's ridiculous. Right??

This isn't even a proper movie. It's just one long ass music video. Like, you could try to excuse it as a musical...I guess??? But the main character, played by Prince, doesn't even have a name????? HE DOESN'T HAVE A NAME. In the movie no one ever refers to him by anything. Except sometimes, maybe, "The Kid"? And on imdb.com that's what's listed as his character name....BUT WHOSE NAME IS JUST "THE KID"??? Did your shitty, crazy parentals name you "The Kid"? Like, is that on your birth certificate? You know, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. See, this is why I have such a difficult time claiming this "movie" as one of my favorites. The first time I watched it I became instantly obsessed. It's very rare, but occasionally I'll watch a movie and it'll briefly become my entire life. The last time I think this happened was three or four years ago the first time I saw Hitchcock's Rope. I went insane for that movie and watched it like three times consecutively in less than two days. I never rewatch a movie right after seeing it. I mean, I rewatch movies all the time, but rarely ever do I watch something and then feel an intense, frankly embarrassing urge to watch it immediately again as soon as the credits start rolling. That happened with Purple Rain. 

Let me try to figure out why! No, because seriously, I feel weird loving this movie so much. I even feel a little bit weird loving a movie like Rope so much, because I find my reasons to be primarily superficial. Like, Farley Granger and then...gay yelling stuff. It's great, whatever. And also, it's a legitimate film. Even though it's obviously just some sort of experiment Hitchcock was doing with tracking shots or whatever. Like, I get the feeling he didn't even really care what the characters were saying. (Does he ever????? LOL) But Purple Rain...sigh. No one cares what the characters are saying (I do - anytime Wendy or Lisa talk WHERE R THEIR OSCARS???), it's all about the music. And the music in this film is sublime, obviously, because Prince. But I don't like loving a movie because it has great music. I don't want to be one of those people. I refuse. So I'm going to talk about all the non-musicy stuff I loved. Like, when characters had dialogue and it was super terrible and embarrassing AND THE BEST.

Okay, sigh, so, non-music related stuff I loved. Oh boy, here we go.

-Morris Day. 

Killing me softly at all times. First of all he's so cute with his little freckles but also having this thick ass mustache and that perm I CAN'T AND I WON'T. 

And his outfits and stage swagger 

and just his entire sass-cat demeanor in general. He's a scene-stealer for sure and possibly the only okay-ish actor in the movie. Or, he knows his part and plays it well...and probably he's just doing himself. But like a lighter version because surely in real life he legit murdererd people, something that's never brought up in the film but definitely hinted at, right?? 

Like how he just shows up to Apollonia's crack house...

...how does he know where she lives???? POTENTIALLY GOING TO MURDER YOU, GIRL. lol omg and then that scene in the alley where he definitely had designs on raping her until ~the hero~ "The Kid" showed up on his motorcyle and gruffly barked at Apollonia to get on. Yeah, let's leave one horrifying situation and pop on over to the next. But that's for later! I'm supposed to be talking about my love for Morris!

I'm assuming the character of "Morris" is based on Morris Day. Right?!?! My favorite thing about Morris is how insecure he is. They actually managed to pull off some subtle stuff with his character that I didn't totally notice the first time until I read some comments about it online (ugh, i know). But like all that stuff with him boasting about how successful and rich he is but you see him vacuuming his shitty apartment and then rolling up to Apple's in a car where Jerome has to manually pull the window down with his fingers. Sad lol. And then after The Kid's dad tries to kill himself or whatever and Morris strolls by his dressing room and makes that comment like "How's your dad?" or something like that and then we immediately see him afterwards looking remorseful. Like, why, Morris?? I just loved all those little bits of his character and the facade he put on that hinted at how self-loathing he was. I mean, obviously he was in love with The Kid, right? That's what this is all about. THAT'S WHAT ANYTHING IS EVER ABOUT. 

Post script: He threw a woman in the garbage. Or, he had Jerome do it. STILL. 

-Apollonia/Apple

So. Cute. Not just, like, face and body wise, but just her general overallness. I love how she shows up on the scene ditching out on paying cab fare and I'm just like Awwww. And just how naive she is, and her courtship with The Kid. She's so cute with him and sentimental and sweet and he's like..."here's an earring. Not even a pair. Just some shit I found on the floor, lol kbye"

I think she was a good foil to The Kid, who is a huge dick. Like, I try to imagine Vanity in the role and...I can't see her pulling off this sweet thing. It would've just been two assholes being assholes and I would've maybe not cared about the gross romance at the center of the "film". Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, probably Vanity would've been a better choice because I seriously spent the majority of the time I wasn't obsessing over the music, being seriously concerned for Apollonia's well being. But I think all her struggles is why I liked her; Prince treating her like shit made me care about her character. And...also I loved the actress' accent. Where is she from? Michigan? Let me go look it up ugggh. Hmmm imdb tells me Santa Monica, Cali. Isn't that where...The Parkers were from? They had suspiciously country accents. But...I don't think the actresses were actually from California. Do ppl from Santa Monica have like some weird Hillbilly meets Valley Girl sort of hybrid accent thing going on? Eye dee kay, but she definitely has a weird sort of dorky affectation in her voice and it was so cute. lol I guessed Michigan. What even happens there? Don't tell me, I don't want to know!! 

-The Kid's "Father" and "Mother"

When The Kid goes home after the initial concert in the beginning is when I got really into the film. You gave me some good music, and some terrible little spurts of dialogue mixed in and I was enjoying myself. Like, Apollonia taking fifteen minutes to tell The Kid she liked his performance and he's not even standing behind her anymore - muah, beautiful. But I didn't get truly excited about the movie until Prince/The Kid goes home and his BLACK DAD and WHITE MOM are arguing and the dad (note: these characters are named, simply, "Father" and "Mother") is getting rough with the mom. Prince's little ass tries to step in and gets promptly pushed to the floor. This entire sequence made me so happy and it's when I knew I was truly going to enjoy myself for the rest of the film. 

I don't even want to get into this sort-of cliché of a black man beating on a white woman (is that even a cliché lol i have no idea)...the parent's relationship was...problematic...for various reasons. But the gist is that "Father" used to be some great musician guy thing. Essentially he was The Kid, but he got in his own way, probably drinking and being crazy and whatnot, and blocked himself from achieving true success. So he's a failure, but he appears to be blaming his wife for his faults? He says things like "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BE GREAT?"...something like that. But it's super hilarious. Like, what is this bitch stopping you from? She certainly cannot physically restrain you in any way...and if you're implying she has some sort of emotional hold on you...I still don't see how that keeps you from creating music. If anything, your shitty fucking relationship should inspire you. WHATEVER. The main thing to focus on here is Prince prancing around in high-heeled boots and blouses and skin-tight tank tops trying to get big with his dad, fighting him off the mom. It's INSANELY RIDICULOUS, HE LOOKS RIDICULOUS. Omg when he comes home and is like "WHERE ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER??" and, like, SPINS AROUND ON HIS HEELS. Ugh, god, amazing. 

Oh, I just remembered the dad was bitching at the mom about her not believing in him. Well, you're a loser, pal. So. But I guess that's what a lot of their fighting was about?? Um, if I had a spouse (never) and they were like "you disappoint me, you suck blah blah blah" (they literally say exactly this) this would either make me want to leave them immediately, or, I DON'T KNOW, try to make them proud. Like, maybe, I DON'T KNOW, getting back to work on my music?? I have no idea why I'm semi-seriously trying to discuss their relationship, they don't even have that much screentime. (Does the mom even have lines lol like I do not fucking remember??) And whoever made this movie clearly had no intentions on building, like, actual characters. Like, giving them legit backstories and reasons and stuff. Seriously, where did Apollonia come from???? Does she have parents? Kids? And how old are these people? Again, no real concern for the characters - this movie was just a vehicle for a Prince concert so maybe I should calm down asking literally any questions about anything that happened ever.  

-The inappropriateness of the songs.

Hmm, so I said I didn't want to focus on the music of a fucking...musical. But...I had a huge issue with some of the songs performed. I feel like...siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. So, there's no way a script was presented to Prince and he was like "okay, let me write some songs to go with the film...like to fit in with the story". However, I also don't think there was a reverse situation of the songs already having been written and recorded and then someone is like...let's write a movie around it. No. The songs and this movie were clearly made separate from one another and then when they came together there were only vague, very lazy attempts to get them to sync up. It's very obvious in the songs The Kid performs that are supposed to be directed at Apple/about his personal life. 

Take, for instance, "The Beautiful Ones". 

So...The Kid performs this really emotional, sort of pleading song about a beautiful woman hurting him and asking her to choose which mate she prefers and it's gorgeous and he's being really extra on the stage and it's all clearly directed at Apple and she's fucking crying in the audience... OKAY, BUT, at this point in the game The Kid and Apple have known each other for like 2.2 seconds, total. And...it seems The Kid is singing this song because she's sitting at a table with Morris? What? So??? I don't even know why The Kid dislikes Morris (no, okay, I do) but I don't buy their...arch-nemesis thing they have going on. And anyway, Apollonia is merely sitting at a fucking table. SITTING AT A TABLE. And she and The Kid aren't even officially booed-up yet, so why the fuck is he getting all up in his feelings like this?? Like, no. No, no, no. 

And then when The Kid performs "Darling Nikki"..............

What is even all of this. LOVE THIS SONG, but what is all this extra-ness? Who is this masturbating with a magazine?? And why does Apple take all his songs at word and get super tear-y, running off and shit...instead of rolling her eyes like "nigga, plz"????? Why doesn't Apple heckle his performance by shouting "SPARE ME!"?? And why, even on stage, is The Kid always and forever a piece of shit? What sort of boyfriend are you? I forgot when this performance happened in the film. Was it before or after Apollonia performed with her shitty girl group? Was this before or after he slapped her ass up? He definitely performed this as a "fuck you", but it literally could've been for any reason because he stayed mad. Like, maybe Apollonia went to Taco Bell without him?? Maybe The Kid sneezed and Apple didn't say bless you??? WHO KNOWS. But the performance is still mean. I mean, are you humping the stage, my guy?? 

And "Purple Rain", the titular...song. UUHHHH, SO. Two things: 1, before The Kid per---NO, MULTIPLE THINGS. 1, before The Kid performs this song he is all like "Wendy and Lisa wrote thisblah blah" STOP. How dare you not get down on your fucking knees and start eating out their vaginas right there on stage??? Like you were a MASSIVE COCKAZOID TO THEM and then you're like "oh, I liked that little song you did, I guess I'll write over it and make it all about me even tho I said it's about my dad even though clearly it has nothing to do with my dad"???? Ugh, I'm all over the place. What are my other points? 2, WHAT IS PURPLE RAIN? Too much caps, but, seriously, what is purple rain? I read that a scene was cut where The Kid and Apple are fucking (vomit) in a barn (vommmmmmmmmmm) and in the background it's raining and the rain is purple (ugh). Okay. So. Why was that scene cut? I'm not saying it was needed to make this song make sense. It's a great song and I love how it fits the downbeat, emotional tone towards the end of the film. But also I feel like...sigh. It fits if you ignore a lot of things. And...to be fair, maybe it does make more sense if you really pay attention to the lyrics, which I only vaguely have. Like, I haven't looked them up to read them online yet so maybe..............................................I just, he starts the song off dedicating it to his dad and...it doesn't have anything to do with any of that. And then, the people in the audience are getting emotional like they all knew The Kid's dad.............siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, I just....

Oh, this is about stuff I liked about the movie. So, I guess, I liked that the music seemed to not really gel at all with the story???/

-"The Lake Minnetonka" scene

Did I like this scene? lol uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wait, you know what I did like? In that sort of way I like Nicolas Cage movies like? The Kid's ENTIRELY DICKISH PERSONALITY. 

-THE KID'S ENTIRELY DICKISH PERSONALITY

It's actually a vaguely brave choice to have a protagonist in this type of cheesy film who is a total piece of garbage lol 

No, seriously, The Kid is never not rude, mean, condescending or dimissive. 

Take sweet Jill. 

She's all like: "Soandso was looking for you" and The Kid is all like "That's nice". Who says "that's nice" when someone tells you your boss or whoever is looking for you? It's not only dimissive of your employer, but also Jill, who is simply relaying a message. And you're treating this bitch like she's an answering machine: "lol delete". Couldn't care less. And then he also says other things like "Why would Wendy and Lisa give you a tape?" as if Jill is the scum of the earth. Why are her dirty plebeian hands on this mix Wendy and Lisa did? Why would they even talk to you??? It's SO RUDE. And it doesn't help that Jill obvi has a crush on The Kid. I feel like, he's cute. He's a little elf wearing eyeliner, but he's totally cute. However, Jill works with this dude and sees him on a daily basis. Surely, she would have lost that crush a long time ago. I mean, just the blouses alone. COME ON, JILL, DO BETTER. 

Speaking of Wendy and Lisa. Up there, remember? When I had mentioned them???

My lesbian babies. WHY. DOES. THE KID. GET SO UPSET. WHEN HE FINDS OUT. THEY'RE WORKING. ON A SONG TOGETHER???? Plz explain. Wendy, I think, earlier in the film, implies that maybe The Kid has trust issues? But what exactly is he worried about here? That Wendy and Lisa will go off and do their own thing? UM, NEWSFLASH, TREATING THEM LIKE SHIT INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO THEIR IDEAS WILL CAUSE THEM TO DO EXACTLY JUST THAT. God, I can't with The Kid. What a dummy head. But, I thank him, because his behavior gives me so much great bitch face from Wendy and Lisa. It's, like, all they do. And it's beautiful. 

4ever 

So, The Kid is a douche burger to his employers, Jill, his bandmates. And it's great, I love it. I loved yelling at him...yelling at my TV screen at him. It's one of my fave things to do while watching stuff. I'll kill myself l8r, but right now I want to talk about when The Kid's meanness went next level and I was having the time of my life screaming at the TV screen that "SHE JUST BOUGHT YOU A GUITAR!!" 

So, before I get to Slap Gate, I must discuss Lake Minnetonka Gate. 

NO. UNACCEPTABLE. This entire scene is sooooooooooo problematic, and totally foreshadows abuse  down the road. And down the road in this case is, like, literally two days later. Jesus. I both liked and hated this scene. I hated it for all the obvious reasons: The Kid is a piece of shit, and his treatment of Apple makes me hella uncomfortable. I mean, no one told this bitch to jump in the water, but why did he proceed to steal her clothes, and then when she tries to get on the motorcycle he speeds up away from her like three times before she can get on and then when she does he's all "Don't get my seat all wet" and he's not even joking. Like, she better not get his fucking seat wet.

Is this supposed to be...cute and romantic? LOL. I think that's why I liked this, because you can tell whoever made this mess legit thought maybe they were on their romcom shit. Like, could you imagine Jen Aniston as Apple and Ryan Reynolds as The Kid? GARBAGE, 33 MILLION DOMESTIC. SEQUEL WHERE THEY HAVE A BABY AND VINCE VAUGHN IS THE GODFATHER AND HE ACCIDENTALLY GETS THE BABY KIDNAPPED AND EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER HE HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND AND WOW THEY SORT OF LOOK ALIKE THIS IS WEEEEEIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRDDDDDD

I'm...still not entirely sure why I loved The Kid being a dick. I guess it was just entertaining to me in a terrible Lifetime movie sort of way. I think it's why I liked anything that happened in this movie that wasn't music. Take the slapping scene when Apple presents The Kid with a guitar. 

He's all like "how did you afford this?" If this were a Lifetime movie or that Chris Brown/Rihanna episode of SVU you'd be all like "UH UH, WATCH OUT, GIRL". I truly was not expecting him to slap the teeth out of her fucking mouth, like...where---HE DOES THIS ENTIRELY THREE SECONDS AFTER HE GETS THE GUITAR. This bitch bought you a crazy-cool gift, unprompted, and you're excited. You love it! Why ask how she paid for it? Okay, maybe it's just something to say, or maybe he was really concerned for her finances - whatever. Oh, no, omg. I was remembering it wrong for two seconds thinking he got mad about how she paid for it. NO. He gets insanely angry because she tells him she's going to work with Morris. Did she...is that why she bought him the guitar? Sugar before the cough syrup or some bullshit like that? THAT'S NOT THE POINT. Why hit her? And, again, what is this obsession/hate for Morris? And it's not even really about Morris; The Kid thinks he owns Apollonia. My thing: right before this scene, "Father" was beating up on "Mother" and The Kid had to intervene. RIGHT BEFORE THIS. I get maybe the director, writer, whoever was trying to set up a parallel between The Kid and his father, but...no. There's no way someone who just broke up a fight between their parents--and really, he stopped his dad from beating his mom--There's no way someone coming directly from a scene like that would then directly go on to beating on their own partner. Like you'd have to have zero self-awarness or life awareness. And while The Kid can be quite a dummy in both those areas....................maybe I just answered my question. UGH I LOVE IT CUZ IT'S SOOOOOOO BAD AND SOOOO DUMB

-Puppets?

What is this? And why wasn't there more????