oh, shit Luther. CAN I GET A LUTHER VANDROSS BIOPIC, LIFETIME??? Cast Leslie Jones. ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmg. No, but do this.
"witcho big head self" accurate; black ppl. Black crackheads.
WAIT, SO BOBBY IS A HUGE FUCKING DICK AND WHITNEY IS LIKE: yep, dats me. Future wifey. ugh
this dude looks -550% anything like Bobby Brown. And, good.
w8, but this is clearly, specifically, about Whitney and Bobby's relationship. Why didn't they label it like how they did Liz & Dick??? It's not like including Bobby's name in the title would turn people off from watching. Their horrible relationship is prob the most famous thing about her so, tres confused.
"I was just messin' with you" OKAY.
ANITA BAKER. And still alive.
"As of tonight, I'm a Bobby Brown fan." lol shade because she wasn't before.
WHY WOULD SHE SAY YES TO A DATE WITH THIS COON? Come on. What is that hairstyle? And what was that performance? ugggh why do u like him, Whitney? She was obvi on drugs b4 she met this dude because I MEAN!
This singing is...awkward. Not only is it not Whitney's voice, but it's not Yaya's either. How does...that work?????????
This movie should be cheekily called "The Greatest Love Of All". Wait, is that cheeky or offensive??
Shopping on Rodeo? Ugh, so basic.
Was that drink-spilling in the script? THIS IS IMPORTANT I NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S LIKE A FORESHADOWING DEVICE.
The true star of this "film" will prove to be Robin. #calledit
Yaya is giving me Jackée Harry tease. Is that...good? Well, no, because this isn't a Jackée Harry biopic EVEN THOUGH IT SHOULD BE
OMG ARE THEY IMPLYING WHITNEY GOT BOBBY HOOKED?!?!?
"I aint got no margin for error" LOL OKAY
Wait, what is this sentimental music coming on as he brags about buying his dumb mom a house? #stahp
Is Irene Cara dead? lol if she isn't
lol @ Whitney just bringing her crack drugs out in Clive's office like it's mints or some shit. And even more horrible, A BURGER AND FRIES? Who orders some thick-ass lunch like that at a business meeting? I can't with this bitch.
WAIT, WHO IS PLAYING CLIVE. HE IS IMMEDIATELY KILLING ME. "STAY AWAY FROM THE YELLOW" ?!?!?!1!?! *Jew voice* "You look like a canary"
Ew, their awkward ~flirty~ date convo.
Wait, this movie is being suspiciously ultra-kind to Bobby, right? It's making me uncomfortable. Like imagine a Chris/Rihanna biopic and Chris is like "I guess it's just a case of the brain in my fist being bigger than the brain in my head LOL OOPSIES"
lol this sex scene. What is this music please???
IRENE CARA IS STILL ALIVE WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY TO ME
WHO. THE FUCK. IS THIS NIGGA PLAYING EDDIE MURPHY? OMG THIS FUCKING MESS ugggggh it's so terrible
lol is Bobby seriously jealous of...a TV monitor???????????????????????
*cringing* Please don't punch her OH OKAY FALSE ALARM. Whew. lol fake-whew because abuse would actually make this mess interesting
I can't take Bobby seriously with this fucking wedge on his head. This artful pubic shrub??? This skateboard ramp made of....kinks????
Aw Yaya is trying really hard. *condescending half-smile*
omfg is the black dude from What I Like About You playing Babyface? LIFETIME, NO.
Do I sense a ~connection~ between Not-So-Babyface and Whitney????
lol I thought Bebeface was about to tell Whit that Bobby punts babies for fun or something
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I am uncomfortable with the parallels between Sparkle and Whitney's life. AND IT'S WEIRD HOW IT'S SO MUCH HER FAVORITE MOVIE SHE GOES AS FAR AS TO EMULATE THE FUCKED UP RELATIONSHIP IN IT??? SHE'S, LIKE, INSPIRED BY THE WRONG THING??!?!?!? iiiiii....i...don't understand. LIKE SHE'S WATCHING THIS MESS AND THEN CALLING BOBBY BECAUSE??!?!?!?
lol he has a full-blown family, I can't. And what is that child's name? LaPrenthia???!?!
"He makes me laugh" *Robin face*
Is Yaya...hispanic? *Robin face*
i h8 their ~romantic~ scenes. It's fucking gross. Also, I'm really immature. But that has nothing to do with my utter disgust. It's like 99% because of Bobby's silky shirts.
"I JUST HOPE IT'S NOT BOBBY BROWN" *Robin face*
Whitney's mom is either the mom from Gulla Gulla Island...or
OMG THIS TRAILER FOR THIS KEVIN COSTNER MESS. "DO YOU DISLIKE BLACK PEOPLE?" *KEVIN COSTNER VOICE* "NOT ALL OF THEM". Basically.
Anyway, back to me pontificating about where I've seen Whitney's mom before. Either Gulla Gulla with an actual fucking giant frog as the main character, or...Parenthood, right? Or both??? I'm not looking it up because immediately I no longer care. I won't even look up how to properly spell Gulla Gulla's Island or if that's even the actual name of the show becuz #thug life
0HMG00DJESSMWUA WHAT IS THIS NEW ROB LOWE MESS????????????? I'M SO EXCITED HE'S THE BEST/WORST.
#who'skim??
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Sir Brown tells Whitney "Kim" is preg and her first response is to do coke??? Since...when?????? How does that............?????
Why am I watching this??? I wish I was dead. I wish I was...doing coke??? Oh, I get drug addiction now. Shit.
ugh, I wish this movie was about Whitney's time filming The Bodyguard. Who'd play Costner? lol what if it was actual Costner? I can imagine him being like "Whitney was my best friend. I will honor her by playing myself in this eventho I am a thousand and it's ridiculous"
no shade but....smoking can't be good for fetuses..............#antismokingblog
It's SO WEIRD when they show Bobby in a good/supportive light. I know he's not Hitler but............sort of, though, right??? Did...he advise on this film? I bet he did because...there's no other explanation for this. Sigh, maybe it's just humanizing him...or...showing all his sides. But I'm seriously getting vibes they're trying to make him look way better than he actually is and I'm like why?? Ugh, idk. Do I even really care????????? Yes, it's making me feel weird. He's going to give up his tour to support Whitney? YEAH, ALRIGHT. Sure. Sure sure sure. Ugh, you know, I watched that reality show of there's. Bobby put his finger up this bitch's butt to relieve constipation. You can't be a total monster doing shit like that. Unless, you have sort of a...fetish? AND NOW WE'RE BACK!
I'm loving these horrible fucking ensembles at the wedding.
*Robin face*
*Whitney's mom trying to pretend to be happy but the screams are leaking out anyway face*
"She's so beautiful" [beat] "and she looks like her daddy" half-true. 50%, good enough. F.
CLIVE IS BACK! Those glasses. Are the lenses...orange? or, halt, CANARY?!?! No, they look very kidney disease piss.
lol Clive is gonna smack Bobby or choke him by the back of the neck and force him to get Whitney to work GOD PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN. Clive is so g'd-up. I need him to pull some thug shit on Bobby PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE.
*Clive's comb-over*
Clive didn't kick Bobby in the chest and I have an attitude about it. But Bobby got his feelings hurt, so, good enough! No, actually, because now I'm imagining Clive wearing Timbs and just stomping all over Bobby's soul and I'm depressed I will never see this actualized. CAN I AT LEAST SEE CLIVE ROCKING SOME TIMBS. THE ORIGINAL YELLOW ONES.
How does Bobby have a compilation disc? Who does he think he is - MC Hammer? #ha
You know, I just realized I actually know very little about Bobby Brown. My image of him is the image that was pushed by whoever. #TeamWhitney, I guess. So, I just hate him based off that. I mean, I don't hate him...because I don't really care, but I have an entirely negative/assholey impression of him. So, going into this, I was expecting just, like, 100% of his scenes basically being all of Laurence Fishburne's scenes in What's Love Got to Do With it. But mostly-nice Bobby ~with flaws~~ is not what I'm here for. He's not screaming in every scene and pulling a ~less famous jealous partner~ and I'm distraught. I wish this movie was done in the vein of Mommie Dearest where it's just a ludicrous caricature and horrendous make-up and styling and acting. Well....they sort of got that part right.............so, thanx. Thanks for bad styling and acting, Whitney. Ugh, but the styling and acting aren't bad enough. It's so-so. So-so is not good enough!! Or bad enough!! I don't watch Lifetime for so-so!! I don't watch Lifetime, period. So. I regret everything. All of this. Living.
Yaya doing Whitney's head nods, tho.
Was that Tyrese in the audience??.................... -_-
I'm slightly getting my life to this "I'm Every Woman" montage...thing.
omgomgomg Yaya doing Whitney doing "Chaka Khan. Chaka Khan!"
No, but Yaya really is trying really hard. Like, props. *condescending pat on the hair*
Their matching red outfits.
Bobby Brown: Remembering Whitney??? Yeah, there's no way he didn't have a huge hand in this movie. Everything about this mess entirely explained, thanks.
50 Shades of Grey is going to be really bad but I fear not in an entertaining way. Which, is doing it all wrong. Sigh. Still seeing it. Going to regret it. Always, always, always. Why don't I ever learn? I wish I was better. I should, seriously, start doing coke. Like, for real, this movie is making me think it makes you get really into your I'M EVERY WOMAN feelings. I need something to make me not be so lame anymore. Not be so "going to see 50 Shades anyway eventho it will obviously be terrible and Jamie Dornan's face is like too small, right? It's too small." Yes, I will start doing drugs. It's been decided. If anything, maybe it'll make Jamie Dornan's face Ryan Reynolds'-esque. NO, GOD, NO.
oh, god, who is this video ho? Did they have video hos back then? "It's Cheryl". Ahead of your time, bitch. She'd have her own reality show today. Hmmm, maybe she does. Maybe she's on Real Housewives Atlanta. Sheree???? Right?? There's one named Sheeree or something? Is that what she said??? Instead of Cheryl?? lol I'm so bored
mmmmm Whitney and Bobby dancing. NO THANK U
"Whitney wouldn't like it" HE NEVER FUCKING SAID THESE WORDS IN HIS LIFE WHY R U LYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYING
Who is this extra-ass jailbird character? Sigh, is this movie about Whitney or Bobby? come on, son.
Why..........did the scene cut from her discovering him fucking that bitch to...her waking up in a bed? WHAT WAS THE CONFRONTATION OMG WTF
Okay, here we go. A confrontation scene, but....why did they cut that other one?? Ugh, I can't wait for this to be over lol
The best ~Lifetime biopic~ I've seen (I've seen like three including this one lol) was that one Rob Lowe did with...I think his name was Scott Peterson. But not the hot Scott Peterson. Another one. Like some older douche-looking dude with a moustache. Whom Rob Lowe looked zero like. It was really amazing and Rob killed it and I'm wondering why that movie was the best and this movie isn't? Prob acting. Like, Rob didn't give a fuck. In a good way. Not in that Lindsay Lohan way (side-eye at Liz & Dick). This movie isn't horrendous...it's a TV movie on basic cable. It's what it's supposed to be. Idk wtf I was expecting. I think I wanted more ridiculousness?? Like Whitney and Bobby were/are both really extra. This movie isn't extra enough. Sigh, whatever. Only ten more minutes left then I can be free to kill myself or whatever it was I was putting off until I finished the movie.
wtf are these scenes with this Jail person. No, seriously??? SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THIS???
lol omg just to set up this mess where a dude is shot in front of Bobby ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh AND HOW DID THE BULLETS NOT GO THROUGH HIS HEAD INTO BOBBY'S HEAD??? DO I JUST ZERO PERCENT KNOW HOW BULLETS WORK?!?!
lol that guy's name was Steve
OMG WHEN YAYA WENT ON STAGE AND WAS CLAPPING LIKE THAT I CAN'T
Bobby sort of looks like Professor Olgevee.....................................
and omg at this rehab scene. BOBBY TRIED TO IMPROVE HIMSELF, EVERYBODY.
immediate no to a non-Whitney versh of "I Will Always Love You". They're trying to make me get in my feelings but "Whitney" is being too cracky, so, no.
Okay this mess is over and I regret every single moment and I regret taking "notes". Like, if you're taking notes......if a thing requires not your total attention....ugh why don't I just fucking give up. I'm gonna go eat a dougnut or something. That's a lie, it'll probably be rye bread. Sad food for me is rye bread. oh god
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