Force Majeure (2014)

Tomas has been working a lot lately, so he decides to take his family on a ski vacation. Ebba, his wife, and his two kids: Extremely Caucasian Child 1 and Extremely Caucasian Child 2. Everything's very nice, and white. But white with like two dots over the ï, you know what I mean? White like that. :)

The fam is having lunch one day up on the mountains, I guess? You can like sit up on the mountains, have your lunch, and enjoy watching controlled avalanches? Sounds very nïce and whïte. So as they're eating lunch an avalanche starts popping off. Ebba's getting all nervous and asking Tomas if they're okay and I think Tomas assures her the avalanche is controlled and everything is very nice and safe and white :) Until everything is not and the avalanche looks as if it is about to crash onto everyone eating up on the mountaintop café place. As soon as the avalanche looks as if it's headed straight towards them, TOMAS' PUNK ASS FUCKING. DIPS. He just leaves his family there??? Lol like what. It's so funny - he grabs his phone and like...doesn't even give them a second thought. He like runs away from the table and might have even pushed some people out of the way lol. It's. so! funny! Ebba stays behind and like huddles her kids together in a protective manner, attempting to shield them from the onslaught of the avalanche, that, turns out, was not heading for them after all. It was just a cloud of snow.

After the dust from the snow cloud settles, everyone returns to their seats laughing at how spooked they got over nothing. Ebba and the kids sit back down at the table shook as hell lol. They're all quiet and shit. After a little bit, Tomas' punk ass returns. I'M SCREAMING IT'S MAD AWKWARD AND HE ACTS LIKE NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED! LIKE HE DIDN'T STRAIGHT UP JUST ABANDON THEIR FAMILY IN SUCH A CRUCIAL MOMENT *that dude with the fly on his forehead from troll 2 voice* OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG. And then like for the rest of the movie Tomas tries to act like nothing happened?!?!? He even recounts what happened completely differently?? Tomas is so like, a typical white dude i'm screaming. Takes no accountability, entirely delusional, and lowkey a sociopath?? He is so white!

This movie was giving me strong The Loneliest Planet teas. They had similar scenarios of a man...like...not being protective of their love/family. Both movies question manhood, I think. But I don't even know if the question is just "Why are men always the protectors?" because in both movies, both dudes act like straight up punks when they're called to protect and be men. Like in The Loneliest Planet, Gael uses his boo as a human shield, and in Force Majeure Tomas flees the scene entirely. I think it would be different if in both scenarios the dudes had maybe seemed unsure of themselves, or weaker than their spouses/family would expect. But they just straight up punk out lol like no ambiguity at all. At least in The Loneliest Planet Gael moves his boo behind him eventually lol, Tomas doesn't return to the scene until he knows that shit is safe lolomfg I'm still screaming he's a mess. 

Wait, but then at the end of the movie they have the mom freaking out on the bus. They were definitely reaching in this moment--or, am I so conditioned by society that I don't see it's the same thing as Tomas fleeing during the "avalanche". It's totally the same thing, right? Like if Tomas had run the fuck off that bus, I would've been judging his ass just like I did when he ran away from the fake avalanche. Ebba completely dipped as soon as the bus opened its doors. And that shit def looked like it was about to topple over and fall off the side of the mountain, for sure. But I still feel...the moment was a little reaching. Like the movie was all "You never know what you're going to do in a life or death situation" or whatever. And like trying to come for people's necks who initially judged Tomas by putting up a similar example with Ebba. Like, see!! But see what? lol. Not sure!! Not...sure. I was def giving Ebba the side-eye, too, though. Like she just left her daughter on the bus. Well, she left the whole fam, actually. But it's not like she was running off to Russia or anything, she was just going outside the bus. But, I guess, Tomas just went outside the café? Okay, you got me!! 

Anyway, I'm too dumb to make like an educated or even non-illiterate seeming analysis of the film, so I'll just talk about some screencaps I took now :)

Lol this shit was so awkward when Tomas and Ebba had their friends...I think Matts and Fanni over? Ebba started going. off. about that avalanche thing. Talking about how Tomas abandoned them and shit omg it was soooo awkward. I just wanted to take screenshots of Matts and Fanni's "I'm uncomfortable" faces

Ebba showing Matts and Fanni THE VIDEO OF TOMAS RUNNING AWAY FROM TABLE I'M SCREAMING WHERE DID SHE GET VIDEO OF THATTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!? THIS WAS MAD AWKWARD OMG WHAT KIND OF DINNER PARTY IS THIS I'M MAD EBBA TOOK HER PHONE OUT AND WAS TELLING THEM ALL THISSSSSSSSSS 

Tomas breaking down after Ebba exposed the fakes in the room

This was so funny when this girl came up to Tomas and Matts and said her friend said they were the hottest guys at the bar. Then she came back and was like "lol nevermind, my friend wasn't talking about you, she was talking about some other guys". WHO DOES THAT LOL. Tomas looked deeply hurt and embarrassed and Matts was about to pop off lol. He got genuinely angry, asking the girl if she was fucking with them, and then I think some dudes came over like "Is there a problem?". I can't remember if there were actual dudes, or if Matts was really about to fuck this girl up lol im screaming this movie is high comedy

Tomas getting an attitude and scoffing because Ebba was ignoring him. Tomas is such a sassy queen like of course his prissy ass ran away. He was not getting his pretty blue ski vest messed up, Ebba, deal!!!! 

Tomas begins his fake breakdown

Ebba calls his fake ass out, yet again. Damn Tomas just quit while your sociopathic ass is ahead!

okay he quit for a moment when Ebba called him out. But then he tried again and was more successful producing fake tears

There ya go.

Tomas talkin sum ish about how he's a victim of his instincts. Omg is he serious this is so white guy of him. Also I feel like this is a common excuse that like rapists and child molesters use? Rapist: Sorry i raped but like I'M A VICTIM OF MY OWN INSTINCTS. Kiddie diddler: Yo, my bad about diddling those kiddies BUT I AM A VICTIM OF MY OWN INSTINCTS, SO! SWEETIE:)

Like, aw poor baby :(

Ebba's face is my face

Tomas lays the waterworks on super-thickly. Ebba is still not having it, but Tomas starts to get mad loud so she tries hustling him back into the hotel room.

The janitor dude is just staring at them? Was this movie making a comment about different social classes? Prob, but too dumb to figure it out - next.

Tomas was crying on like a beanbag and the kids came out and cried on top of him and it was so funny because Ebba was just standing away from them and the daughter starts yelling "Mommy!!!" like what is wrong with you hug daddy, idk this shit was hilarious. This is supposed to be a comedy, right? If not, yikes.

Ebba freaking out on the bus was really funny because the bus driver never really responded. That was an extremely too-accurate depiction of like all bus drivers. I'm surprised he even opened the door. Okay, so not extremely too-accurate. But extremely mostly-accurate. 

Why was the end a weirdly triumphant one for Tomas? Was it because Ebba showed her ass on the bus? And then that dude offers him a smoke and Tomas takes one and the son is like "Dad, you smoke?" and Tomas is like "Yeah, I do" like he just beat Apollo Creed and I'm like..."okay..."??? The end???? I feel bad for those kids. That's what I'll take away from this movie, that I feel bad for those little white kids. Not because of Tomas and Ebba, but because those kids are very white, and being white is going to be entirely out by 2030. Ah well. Maybe being white will come back around again. Doubt it, but we all need something to hope for :')