Between Us (2012)

The thing that really got me was Melissa George and her ugly husband taking those milkshakes not once, but twice. Both times! I forget if they paid the first time. I don't...-No, they definitely did not. To be fair to them: 1. Carlo insisted they take the milkshakes, I think. The first time, anyway. 2. Joel definitely paid for the--Wait. No. Grace paid for those second milkshakes didn't she?! Wtf. And Joel being a douchebag just randomly paid that milkshake dude a hundred dollar tip. That no one told him to--Oh, maybe Sharyl and Joel felt comfy taking those milkshakes the second time because Joel's ugly ass cut Carlo and Grace that like 10k check. And Carlo was talkin' all that ish about how he "deserved" that money and how beneath him he felt Joel was. lol beneath you? Nigga are you broke and beggin' this dude for money? Lol okay so I change my mind about being irritated that Sharyl and Joel took those milkshakes both times. I've come around, full circle. I hate everyone.

I actually--hm, this movie actually kept my interest the whole way through. I wasn't...expecting anything from this going into it. As soon as I peeped the cast I was like: oh boy, here we go. This shit sort of reminded me of this movie I saw with Selma Blair where her and this random blonde who cares actor dude playing her husband were being held hostage by James D'Arcy and like Macaulay Culkin's ex-wife and I expected nothing from that C-list cast at best, but lowkey that movie was sort of lit. Between Us was sort of like that for me. For that other movie's cast, I sort of liked James D'Arcy, and then had mostly non-good impressions of everyone else. Here, my James D'Arcy was Melissa George. What is it about Melissa George that prevents me from hating her so very much like I should? Idk, maybe she turns up in everything I see her in? But she's also...so...just so very annoying in everything, too. Like, the way she speaks and her mouth?? Idk, but she's interesting. 

Julia Stiles, I pay it. She just irks me, and she's not a good enough actress to like, make up for it. If you're gonna look annoying, and have an annoying weird like deep man voice, at least bring it in the acting arena. She...doesn't? And omg was she annoying as hell in this. But I almost didn't notice because she was usurped by her way more annoying actor dude castmates: Taye Diggs and David Harbour. Taye Diggs...he's like charming as an actor for the most part. But here he was wearing like a fedora right away in the first scene and I was just like *eyeroll*. With his bald ass. Next! And his character, especially in the second half of the film, was just...very ugh. Like it's weird how entitled he felt to both the artsy lifestyle, and, like, non-poverty. Typically, you don't get both. And Joel even said, like, you have to sacrifice shit. If you want to be the starving artist...uhhhhh that means you starve?????? I think I hated Carlo/Taye the most for 1. being married to Julia Stiles. He should've been matched with way hotter Melissa but okay, and 2. making me agree with David Harbour/Joel. 

I hate...I can't tell if I hate the actor, or the character. I've seen this David Harbour in shit before, I'm guessing he's a character actor type. His character was too annoying for me to...be able to tell if it was like good acting, or if this guy is just annoying and bringing it to characters. Was he in Revolutionary Road or am I confusing him with...someone else? He wasn't Patrick Wilson's friend in Little Children was he? I don't care enough to look it up. But let's just agree all white dudes look exactly alike. Especially these middle aged skinnier John C. Reilly types. All middle aged white dudes look like John C. Reilly doing that diet where you replace all food with beer. It's like, brava for...trying to lose that dad bod? I mean, you're not succeeding, but...you haven't hung yourself by your tie in your home office yet, so, things are looking pretty good! 

What's happening? Where am I? Hmmmm...oh! I hated David Harbour/Joel. Sigh, no, I think it was just Joel. He grated. Very whiny and insecure. But pretty sure that was...the point of him, though. So good job @ D.Harbz for bringing that performance home. Everyone pretty much gave me an interesting performance. It was very stage-acting, which makes sense since I think this was originally a stage play? Like totally. I love movies made out of stage plays, mainly because I'm not a theater-goer, so I never get to see plays. I like how the material is written in plays, like it's written for the actors to be going ham every other line. It's like writers know the theater is sort of boring so they insert a *BOOMING REVELATION* at least once a page, instead of how it goes with movies where you can tell screenwriters are relying on like special effects or the soundtrack to fill in the lull bits. The stage doesn't have all that extra shit usually, so they have to resort to, like, actual dialogue to entertain people. It's lit. Like, even when it's terrible (this), it's not. 

This movie/play thing wasn't...good. It was all cliché and shit. Oh, married couples go through shit. Girl, we know. And omg @ both marriages crumbling apart after they had a kid. I thought it was weird both couples were going through it post-baby. It was too on-the-nose for me. I would have preferred that they had differences at not...the same points in their relationships' timeline. Like, I would have accepted Carlo and Grace's situation falling apart after having a baby, because neither of them had much money to start with. So it makes sense they'd be a mess after having a kid. But Joel and Sharyl were wealthy, so they didn't have to deal with worrying about bills and shit like Grace and Carlo. Like there was no reason for a baby to even exist for Sharyl and Joel, because clearly their relationship was a fucking disaster from jumpstreet. Why couldn't the writers have just shown them as a dual mess, sans the kid? Sans making it seem like having a kid...ignited all their problems? Lol, I do not think so. Don't act like that invisible kid they--OMG WHAT IF IT WAS A WHO'S AFRAID OF V WOOLF LEVEL FAKE BABY?!? Nah, this movie was too lame to pull a stunt like that. 

I really hated Joel's "revelation". Him like staggering broke-legged to that church. PLEASE. So annoying omg. Conversely, though, I loved Julia Stiles lowkey shaking the shit out of that baby in the store. And all those people were staring at her lol. When I was watching that shit I was like "ummm staring doesn't prevent her from shaking that lil mulatto bb to death". But, you know, that was New York, right? Now I'm thinking it's unrealistic that anyone was staring at her. People probably shake their ugly babies in public all the time over there. Throwing them out skyscraper windows and shit. Putting them on the backs of 3 feet long rats and sending them off to the corner store for a carton of cigarettes. So, please @ any of those people giving Grace judging stares. I loved that scene, though lol. Okay but like, this movie will give me great scenes like that, but then have these ugly idiots arguing for like thirty straight minutes about tipping some milkshake delivery dude. And now I know why they cast that token black - so it wouldn't look like exactly what it looked like anyway, with all these white people standing around condescendingly discussing amongst themselves how the milkshake delivery dude might be an immigrant, and he's probably poor and can't speak English and omg he's old. First of all, Taye Diggs is a white (reverse vitiligo), so whatever you tried to do by casting him, ya failed. Second of all!! Why even bother token casting when you have him up in here being lowkey a deadbeat, being cheap as hell--They had this bald headed nigga's WHITE WIFE up in this bitch calling this coonass "cheap". I meannnnnnn, he was. But like, can you be cheap and poor? He don't got no money, bitch! Aint nobody buying them ugly pics of you he took, so he is poor. You are poor. But they got the audacity to be buying home delivered milkshakes. smh

lol I'm really bothered by those fucking milkshakes. New Chekov's gun? Kill me:) But anyway, what was I doing? Idk. I didn't, ultimately, like this movie. It was hella annoying. But I'm out of that phase where I need to "like" movies. I've watched too much shit and I am just really immune at this point. Like I am broken and it's just too hard for me to like things. So I look for "interesting". Captivate me for the entire however long the movie is, and I'm good. I don't care what your shit is about, or how you film it, just make sure that bitch doesn't have me wandering off in my mind, trying to picture Kanye West as a little kid. Was he one of those kids with a briefcase? Did he only smile on picture day? Did the other kids think "Kanye" sounded fruity? Or did they just accept it like this kid I went to school with named "DeForest"? No one made fun of this kid named Of Forest. Okay. 

So, sigh, what? Oh. Between Us was "interesting". So if you're a ~movie buff~ like me and have seen too much bullshit to be able to "like" things anymore and are just looking for something to prick you and remind you that you are, indeed, not deceased, this is an okayish movie for that. I wasn't moved, but I was soft-compelled, and that's all you can really ask for at this point sigh can someone pistol whip me to sleep with Chekov's gun or pour a bunch of Nyquil in those milkshakes and give me an enema? Thank you