The Skeleton Twins (2014)

This movie was lowkey not even good, right? It was getting hella praise when it first came out, right? Or was everyone just going hard over that fucking lip-syncing scene? Which honestly I could have fucking done without. Like when Luke Wilson left the room...that would've been me. Like, nah, you're good on lip-syncing to fucking Heart or whatever the fuck. I'm going to the kitchen in my big ass Carhartt jacket and getting a waffle. 

How cute was Luke Wilson crunching on that Eggo? Why was Luke Wilson the best thing about this movie? Lol no I'm just kidding that's ludicrous, but wow I was really disappointed and feeling some type of way. Like, I'm annoyed at all these sycophanty ass film reviewers going TWO THUMBS UP!!!, A MARVEL!!! Lol where? I actually did read one review that said the...script was weak and corny (yes), but that Hader and Wiig made up for it. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk about all that. Kristen Wiig as an actress is...sort of weak. I like her, but idk about her doing serious things. And I'm not even a typecaster. I like seeing actors playing all different sorts of genres, if, you know, they are capable. Not sure--Pretty decided on the fact that Wiig is not. Hader I thought was pretty good here. I mean, they're a good team together and I sort of agree with that reviewer who said they were able to sort of mask the shitty material, but they didn't elevate it, which is what was needed. Everything was so cliché - like omg when Wiig's character goes to kill herself at the end. U GH. And like Hader's character coming to save her at the last minute. Lol please and enough. 

This felt very like something someone would write at a screenplay workshop. Like omg twin siblings and...they're both a mess and depressed...and on the same day in different states they're both trying to kill themselves!!! And and and insert cliché mommy issues, dead dad, uhhhh the woman is in an unhappy relationship and hiding birth control and secretly she doesn't want a kid and the gay brother was getting fucked by his teacher in high school and now he's a failing actor in L.A. because OF. FUCKING. COURSE. Nothing new was being explored here. You know what would have been cool? Like, just simply a movie about a weird, dysfunctional relationship between adult twins. Without all these added outside problems - you know with Milo and Rich doing whatever, and Maggie's bored ass taking swimming lessons. Just. Just give me a weird movie about adult twins being weird and dysfunctional in their own little vacuum. And can movies stop having very depressed characters just willy nilly trying to kill themselves. I don't buy it. People try to off themselves if they're going through some Bernie Madoff-level scandal, or when they are on a high and feeling alive and well enough to be like "Ya know, life is pretty terrible. Think after yoga I'm gonna nose dive off the roof of my apartment building :)". Both Milo and Maggie were like...at least appearance-wise, deeply depressed. Too in their feelings to be tying fucking weights to themselves and diving into pools please stop and enough. 

Remember how Rich gave Milo that screenplay and Milo was reading it and went like "what? ugh!" and closed the manuscript and threw that shit with disgust on the bed? That's how I was with this movie. Except I didn't turn it off twenty minutes in like I regret not doing. I mean, sigh, I guess I don't regret it. I mean, this wasn't Hands: Hands of Fate or anything, it just was...blah. But it's my fault for having high expectations. Like I really wanted to see this and was all like "yay" when I saw it on Amazon Prime and then I watch it and it's like "...ok?.." Lesson learned: expect nothing from life. This prevents suicidal feelings. It prevents all feelings :)