Nekromantik (1987)

I watched this on my birthday. What I am doing, exactly? Not...totally sure. 

I had been wanting to see Nekromantik for ages. I've been in love with the poster forever and, for some reason, the *potential* of the story? Which I always knew was necrophilia-focused? Like what was I excited about for here? Idk, I guess I was getting "A Rose for Emily" tease? There's just something about a romance between an alive lunatic and been-dead skeletal corpse that does something to me.  

Couldn't explain to you why I am allowed to be alive, but I can explain even less why someone came up with the idea of this movie and then, like, decided to make it. And no one said stop or anything. Or, idk, maybe some people did. Way more people should have? But this is a German film, nein? So that explains in great detail, everything. Like, Germans did the Holocaust - Nekromantik pales quite a bit in comparison if we're being totally honest. Though I'm sure a lot of them would disagree. German burn blog, no one's safe! 

So this movie is about some guy whose name I forgot and he works...for a city morgue, I guess? He has a girlfriend and their kink is having threesomes with corpses? But like, not even corpses. Like basically just skeletons with goo on them. I could see like, a fresh corpse (WHAT?), but the shits they was smashing in the movie was just bones with slime. Like, it was mad gross. And okay so you're asking how do you have a threesome with a skeletal corpse? And I think the answer was...a car emergency brake? Like they used that for the dick? I...don't ever want to see this again. 

Like this movie was just gross. Lol, bitch, what...did you expect? Smh. But I could see a movie like this done in a less grainy, film-school sort of way and it being something interesting. I just straight up hated how this was filmed. Like if a more glam, or less German director remade this--OH MY GOD OR LIKE A JAPANESE OR KOREAN DIRECTOR? Full stop, please. But look, this idea really does have potential. I really want to not be like this, but this isn't...exactly a common topic. This could be done up as a pretty good horror film, or a pretty terrible, but secretly amazing comedy? Nekromantik was just...boring. And bad. And nasty as shit. I could see how a certain type of person would find appeal in it, though. But not my weird ass! 

You know what I really wasn't feeling? Even though this movie is about corpse-fucking? That dude killing that cat. And I am not even like...one of those people who loves animals over humans and is all weird about it. I hate all beings, but like, why are you killing a cat lol. Just doing shit to be doing it. LIKE I KNOW THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT NECROPHILIA, but uhhhhhh the corpses are like...already dead, so.......

So anyway I think I spent my 27th birthday wisely. Great start to the new year ay turn up!!!  :(