The Master's Sun: jnffk,rokrmeke, jcnricmkr,c Part 5

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Master's Sun: jnffk,rokrmeke, jcnricmkr,c Part 4

13. Auntie and her boo

I'm too lazy to go on AsianWiki right now to look up these two idiots' names, so I'll just refer to them as Auntie and Boo. 

1. I hated them both. Well, maybe hate is a strong word. They were too insignificant to me to HATE. But I definitely mostly disliked them at all times. Especially that piece of work aunt. First of all, why was she all up in Joo Joong-won's business at all times twenty four hours a day seven days a week?? I seriously thought she had something to do with Joo Joong-won's kidnapping. Like, why the fuck did she care so much that he was hanging with Gong-sil? It was disturbing. I tolerated that shit until she slapped her though. What is with people slapping on these shows? IT'S NOT FUCKING OKAY. Especially when someone has done literally NOTHING TO YOU. I just couldn't with the aunt. She was a fucking bitch. And a baby at fucking, like, sixty thousand years old? YEAH, OKAY. I loved that scene where the two docs told her she was pregnant. The one male doctor couldn't even speak. He just sat there shaking his head in disgust. CAN'T DO IT. I JUST CAN'T! 

And do I even really want to get into the aunt's candy boy ass husband?

Like, I thought he was going to turn out to be really shady but...I guess he wasn't??? I thought he was scheming with the other mall or something. I guess maybe he was just a snitch for Joo Joong-won's daddy? Idfk but he was sort of hot. I didn't want to be attracted to him because his character was super lame. Why was he so tan? Ugh so into it :((

14. The other ghost whisperer who wasn't Gong-sil

Now I'm just fully back to listing shit I disliked. #negativenancylol

Look at this forever alone asshole.  

Mmmm, I don't know why I severely not-liked him. (Possibly because of creepy coma love story????) Really I just hated all that punk ass amnesia shit. 

I HATE AMNESIA SHIT. I hate when even the possibility of a character losing their memory and forgetting everything about their ~love~ is put on the table. I hate that partnered with these amnesia plots is this known fact that it will eventually segue into a plot about the amnesia victim slowly regaining their memory until all the pieces fall back into place and OH WAIT I WAS IN LOVE WITH SOME BITCH I REMEMBER NOW. I hate allllll of that shit. It's like, you've put me through all this extra ass drama just to erase basically everything that happened. I FEEL WHAT GONG-SIL FEELS WHEN JOO JOONG-WON LOSES HIS MEMORY. It's not fair at all to put your audience through that, in my opinion. Like, yes, this is just a TV show and maybe I oughta calm my fucks down BUT NO FUCK YOU SUCK MY DICK.

Actually, it's not even amnesia's fault that Gong-sil is trying to flee to America with Yoo Jin-woo. It's 

^this fucker's fault. 

Get your ran-over ass up. Get up and cross over to heaven or hell or Home Depot or wherever the fuck little kid souls go. Get up and get away from Gong-sil and don't be the cause of Joo Joong-won getting stabbed so she feels all guilty and wants to leave him alone. To be fair, the stabbing was the hit and run driver's fault for being all stabby with shit.

Wow, I hated way more things than I realized. SO MANY THINGS MADE ME ANGRY. Granted, not in a "this is a disaster" I Miss You way, but moreso in a CAN THESE TWO IDIOTS JUST BE DUMB IDIOTS TOGETHER FOREVER AND CAN OBSTACLES STOP GETTING IN THE WAY PLEASE THANK YOUUUUU?!

Summary: I hate obstacles. Dumb ass word. Why is there an o AND a c in the same word? What is this - oscillate?! 

Speaking of o's and c's...(new low?)

15. Coffee Ghost

He was just a cutie pie. That's my whole reason for liking him. 

LOOK AT HIMMMM :3

lol, no seriously if some shit like that was haunting me in real life I'd fucking kill myself. #CAN'T DO IT.

16. Lady Chairman Lee

Things I CAN do?

^this. 

Did I just admit to wanting to fuck Chairman Lee's lady persona? Is this...okay?

What if I quickly talk about how hot his son is? Let me throw in some heteronormative comments real quick as a palate cleanser

*robot voice* Yes, computing as physically attractive. Seventy percent water; thirty percent man meat. *robot jaw opening sounds* Yum. Yum.

The Master's Sun: jnffk,rokrmeke, jcnricmkr,c Part 3

Let's talk about my baby

9. Gong-sil

Yes, JESUS SAVE ME from all this

FUCKING NEVER ENDING GODDAMN CUTIE PIE CUTENESS.

When Gong-sil was first introduced I was confused. "This can't be the love interest," I thought. This awkward ass lunatic with always a little bit manic orange frizz was meant to be the female lead? WHAT? I wasn't prepared to fall totally in love. Like, she was so cute the whole time and I just wanted to die. I found it really hard to believe that Joo Joong-won would spend so much time resisting her. Like I was over it twenty minutes into the first episode. "GIVE IN," I was mildly shouting due to my extremely low-energy nature. 

Maybe I was mildly shouting it before that? Like, as soon as Gong-sil was trying to hitch a ride and Joo Joong-won's car just passed right by her I was like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU HORRIBLE MONSTER?! And then she gets in the car and is so adorable and their hands touch and it's ELECTRIC and Joo Joong-won tries to act like he is disgusted and needs Purell or some shit. I WAS OVER ITTTTTT.

Look at heeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I loved when she hugged him and he was all "YOU'RE FRESH" or he called her horny or some shit. "GIVE IN COMPLETELY YOU DICK NAPKIN," I am still shouting at a medium volume. It's like hurry up and chain this bitch to the water heater in your basement before someone else snaps that up. Like, I don't know, maybbbbbbbbbbbbbbbe...her candy boy???

10. What the fuck is a candy boy/girl??

Kang-woo's sad ass gives Gong-sil a lollipop at some point that Gong-sil pretends to cherish. Joo Joong-won gets all jealous and shit and starts referring to Kang-woo as Gong-sil's "candy boy" for the rest of the series. I feel like candy boy has a meaning. Is it like boy toy? I am trying to think if we have an American phrase for this. Boytoy is like a UK thing. I'm not even perfectly clear what that means. I don't think "candy boy" is just something Joo Joong-won is calling Kang-woo because he gave some bitch a lollipop. That's like...way too literal and unimaginative. 

Also, "candy girl" is a phrase that's bopped around. I think I've heard candy girl used in other kdramas. In one of the other two I watched before this one. I took it to mean "gold digger". Actually, maybe it was just this one I heard it in. Because doesn't Joo Joong-won offer to make Gong-sil his kept bitch and she says something like she doesn't want to be his candy girl? A gold-digger type, right? Or kept woman at least? 

You know, Google is my friend. But I'm not here to make friends. 

11. The Pianist

Speaking of candy boy ;)

...I should really stop doing these horrible segues. Also, this one is about me talking about how hot The Pianist was. WHY would I choose this pic? I'm pretty sure this is right before he is about to slam his fingers beneath the piano's fallboard. I love man-pain. It makes the tiny dying ember admist my mostly dead black heart flicker with boner feelings. 

This dude was named Louis Jang, right? (I'm acting like I didn't just go to AsianWiki). So cute. And the grieving widow thing? AWWWW. Less awwww? How fucking creepy he was. Like, making Gong-sil take over the duties his wife used to do and then being totally fine with his wife inhabiting Gong-sil's body and being all LET'S GO TO FRANCE, WIFE. Psycho. But it only made him hotter to me. That shit is fucking romantic. In, like, a Jeffrey Dahmer preserving his boy heads in the freezer type of way. 

Speaking of romantic in a Jeffrey Dahmer sort of way (sorrrrrrrrry)

12. Ghost Dog and his Lover

Not going to lie, this deserted soldier and ghost dog episode almost made me cry. Almost, as in, it did. 

I felt so bad for the soldier. He was being abused at Army Camp or whatever and his only solace was this fucking dog and some weird pop song they used to dance to together in a totally non-bestiality way.  

Then the dumb ass dog is euthanized and soldier boy no longer has a reason to live. (I mean, who does? But still, I felt bad for him). 

He was all alone and stuff, trying to kill himself and stuff.

Then Joo Joong-won comes over to act like he is The Supreme when we all know it's Gong-sil (and she was totally giving him the side-eye he deserved), and tells Sad Soldier all kinds of cute stuff about his dog and how he's lifting his paw up to him and when the soldier started crying I LOST IT. I was really unprepared to be caring about these ghost stories like this. It made me mad. I wonder if that dude fucked that dog. 

The Master's Sun: jnffk,rokrmeke, jcnricmkr,c Part 2

5. Joo Joong-won's hands/TOUCHING

If I were doing a proper list of all the things I loved about the show...maybbbbbbbeeee this would be number one winner yes yes achievement??

I think I both hated and loved the hands.

They were always in use. He was always flipping them about and around. It was very queen-y. In the beginning of the show he mainly used his hands to do that obnoxious "get lost" thing. I realllllllly wanted to throw up but at the same time I somehow also found this cute? No, it was rude. Like, yes, Gong-sil is a bit of a lunatic but stop acting like you don't totally like her a whole lot and telling her to fuck off. Stop doing that! I'm just really glad So Ji-sub has really lovely hands. (Ugh). I'M SO GLAD THE FINGERNAILS ARE PROPERLY CUT. I hate seeing even a sliver of the white bit of nail. His hands were manicured to perfection. Wow, I feel so gross right now. So gross and so good. 

Look at them here opening a fridge. I'm like 77% sure these are Joo Joong-won's hands. They might be Kang-woo's but maybe not?? Let's pretend they DEFINITELY ARE Joo Joong-won's hands for the purpose of this stupid post.

Look at them here waving at Gong-sil. Ugh I think he's telling her to fuck off here. Whhhhyyyy

Here he is pointing with one of his lovely hands while wearing some sort of pirate ensemble. 

Now I'll segue into the topic of ~touching~ and intimacy. So, Joo Joong-won doesn't like people touching him (uh, who does???), enter some crazy bitch who does pretty much nothing but touching. I wonder if he'll eventually be forced to open his heart up due to all this aggressive sexual harassment from some psycho who can see dead people?? DO YOU ALSO WONDER TOO?! 

ARE YOU STILL WONDERING?!

WHAT ABOUT NOW?! 

Why do I do anything that I do? Sigh. 

My favorite thing is how you thought I was going to go into some whole thing connecting my love for Joo Joong-won's hands with the intimacy issues theme and I didn't at all. I just posted random pics with his hands in them. No, but if I killed myself who would you have left to disappoint you? Oh, your children? Why do you have children? Haven't you heard of this neat thing called fire? It gets rid of *me whispering* ANYTHING. (I think. Some things are un-burnable, right? Like black boxes? I have no idea what black boxes are, but I doubt your kid is one. If they are - what the fuck?) 

Speaking of what the fuck (uggggggggggggggh)

6. Joo Joong-won's "glasses" 

Wanna know why you can't read, dumbass? MAYBE UM I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOUR GLASSES DON'T HAVE LENSES IN THEM???!?

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy?

Why would you do this, show? Why couldn't you just have left the lenses in? Like, okay. Wearing fake frames for style. FINE. Corny as hell, but FINE. 

THE THING ABOUT JOO JOONG WON WEARING FAKE FRAMES is that he only wears them when he's trying to read! It's made clear they're not being used as a style prop. We're being made to believe he wears fucking glasses to read! UH YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT THE LENSES! Fake glasses with lenses cost like ten bucks. Come on, prop department. Or director, at least don't do close-ups so I can tell there aren't any lenses inside the frames??? I don't understand why any of this is what it is. I'm so sad and tired. Maybe it's all the lenses in my glasses frames. They cause cancer - I knew it! 

7. Yi-ryung: The Mall Model

Let's talk about more dumb shit. 

Now, maybe this is a thing in Korea. It might even be a thing in America and I've just never heard of it, but...the closest mall to where I live is decidely unremarkable. Most malls are. Some malls are ~famous~ like The Mall of America. I guess, maybe, that type of mall would do big advertisements and hire a model on contract to star in their advertisements??? I'm really just trying to...make sense out of this whole "mall model" thing. Like, Yi-ryung is acting like she is modeling for a fashion house. Except, no, she's not - IT'S A FUCKING MALL. It doesn't even seem like that extreme of a mall, either. It seems...normal? Like, a normal mall? Whhhyyy would someone as seemingly ~famous~ as Yi-ryung sign on to be the FACE of a goddamn mall? Even a ~prestigious~ one? IT'S A MALL! 

I was just so thoroughly confused by all of this. Like, she's been asked to go to America to audition for some "Peter Jason" film while at the same time doing cheesy JCPenney-esque advertisments for a fucking shopping center? In what world? Oh, in this world. Where ghosts are like a prominent feature and Dooly has a girlfriend. Never mind. Also, Peter Jason. Never miiiiiiiiiiiiind. 

And P.S.

this^. So scary, stop it. 

Better.

8. Creepy Chinese Lady

Speaking of "So scary, stop it." 

                                                                                        What is this^?

I loved how this live person was scarier than any of the ghosts. Also, was this character meant to be a Chinese dig? Like was it the Koreans saying "Chinesers are creepy"? If they were trying to do a diss, they did it wrong, because this bitch was the best. Equal parts horrible and fabulous; she made me want to cry and also work for her so I could cry more. 

What is her entire face? Does the actress really look like that? If so, yessssssssss or OH MY GOD?!