My favorite bald bitch is back and I am so happy, but also at the same time very sad, because my life is so empty, and meaningless. That's why, I'm like, writing this blogpost. That's why I have a blog. And it's not even a good one like wordpress. It's blogspot. Does blogspot even still exist? Like honestly.
I am also depressed that I didn't even bother to watch season 2 of Insecure but was sat right in front of my TV ready and waiting for this shit to come on on Sunday. I actually turned my channel to HBO hours before it came on (because xfinity is garbage and I have to try to change channels in advance like hours before if I want to watch something because sometimes it won't let me and CABLE IS DEAD but anyway) and I had to suffer through having that Why Him? movie playing as white noise in the background and then some show called The Deuce where James Franco is playing twins?? (why not triplets???) and Maggie Gyllenhaal is being, well, her. And I kept catching glimpses of the foolery on my TV like what is going on here on HBO on this day. Wait what was I talking about? I have so...many...problems. But yeah anyway lol it's sad I was more excited for this white bald mess than season 2 of Insecure even though I am an ~offbeat~ black bitch and that show is supposed to be ~made 4 me~ (I lowkey hate it and the side characters are garbage and the niggas r not cute except for the Enterprise dude and one time Jidenna :( bring back Girlfriends). Can someone make a show about an awkward black bitch who has no friends and drinks a disproportionate amount of strawberry milk and who uses the bathroom so much that now she has butt ulcers?? Oh, wait, I'm just remembering Samantha Irby is getting a show on FX or something (right??) okay whew, everything is calm now (she better be getting a show). Let's resume...whatever the fuck this sad mess is smh (she better be getting a show I'm not joking, bitch!!).
Why would Larry David...........make me wait like ten years for a whole new ass season? I hate him. I mean, there are mad other shows and I don't keep up with a single gotdamn one of them (except 4 Shameless - that's bae) so I don't know who I'm fooling lol but come on, like, eighteen years between seasons? I get you're like extra rich and shit, but this is just disrespectful. Do better.
So my favorite thing about the first episode was my bae Carrie Brownstein (r u azn??) made an appearance. I highkey love Carrie just from Portlandia which has my whole heart completely lol. I love that show. I don't want to, though? You know how it is, but she is so funny to me on that mess. I was so yamped to see her here and she had a limp and she was constipated? Are you kidding??? I was SO HAPPY you don't understand, it was so perfect. She plays the dumbest shit with the straightest face I want to THROW UP!!
I am upset though? Because it looks like maybe she won't return? Ummmm. Look imma have to get over it cuz I see my bae Bob Einstein coming back next episode so I'm straight, ngl.
What else did I love?
1. the opening shower scene. So dumb, and true. Also Larry looks horrifying naked. I never want to see that again, but at the same time, do? Again, you know how it is. (Pretend you do and shut up!) (no1 is reading this, u thot...)
2. how like, reductive and repetitive the episode was? lol it was just mad cliché and obvious jokes and Larry being typical Larry. Like...him going out of his way to take all that time sizing up that lesbian to decide if she wanted the door held open for her instead of just, like, doing it? So extra and dumb and everything I want and need from this show. Just everything. The assistant. Pretty sure they already did the I want to fire the assistant but it's too awkward bit like multiple times before? Love it every time. His whole thing with Richard Lewis. It's always the same dumb shit and if anything changed I would be devastated. Everything was rehashed and I was so happy. Never change. Or if you do just get a little bit worse :')
3. Leon. I want to hate Leon because he is the only black person on this show pretty much ever now that Wanda Sykes is a lesbian, and he just whole be out here acting like that dog from Disney. Not the one who can speak, the other one. Pluto? It's just, deep sigh lol, but I love him? And his weird...bromance with Larry? Why is this relationship happening? Idk but it is everything and because Leon is black he can be the one to say the really horrible shit. Calling that broad a "limpy bitch"? Pleas.........e... And no one. I mean no one, could get away with that cruditake joke but him. That was so fucking funny for no reason omg and Larry telling him to put it back :') I wanted to die. They are so baes. Anyway I can't wait til next episode when Larry is roasting that ginger boy. How do you think this Fatwa situation is gonna turn out? I have no idea what a Fatwa is. Maybe I will get some edjumacation.
I better not.
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