The New Edition Story

Full story: I knew literally nothing about New Edition before watching this lol. Like........I had NO IDEA who tf Ralph Tresvant was. I mean, I had no idea he even existed. I knew Bobby Brown, and I like vaguely knew Del Dick DeVry or whatever. But look: I only know the alien looking one. Ronnie, right? I don't know Mike...and I think there's another one? I don't know these hoes. I am not even trying to be rude, I just do not know who these people are lol. I remember seeing some of these videos when I was a kid and all I could focus on was the tall, weird looking one lol. Like...what is going on...there? Truly, to me, he was the star lol. Like......what is that? A star! That's what.

So I was excited for literally no reason when they announced this ~movie~ was happening. I.....I don't know why. I like immediately thought it'd be lit. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED? The freaking Dru Hill tv movie lol. I just want to see what mess they cast to play Sisqó, and the fat one. I don't know who all else is in Dru Hill. One of the members of Jodeci? Omarion once? Idk but I need that movie okOMG GIVE ME A JODECI MOVIE?? HELLO!! HI!!! GIVE ME IT!! Okay wait what was I GIVE ME A LUTHER VANDROSS MOVIE NOW!!!! NOT TOMORROW, NOW! I want all of these movies to be made by BET to ensure they will be terrible. Okay? I need it. Make it happen, universe. 

So blah blah I aint watch this mess when it first came out because I haven't watched TV appropriately since, like, 2006. So I aint see this shit until I was preparing myself, for some reason unbeknownst to me, to watch the BET awards some while back. Leading up to the awards (which I ended up only watching like ten minutes of because plz stop), they were playing the New Edition Story Thing. It was on in the background, but I wasn't fully paying attention to it, but it eventually caught my eye and I was like...lemme see if I can find it on OnDemand and watch it from the start, which I fully regret lol. 

This movie was aight. But lowkey bad? A full shit-filled, with some okayish, non burnt bits pie served by BET. I expected nothing more, nothing less. Ultimately tho, this movie, for me, was very informative lol. 

Things I didn't know b4 but now do thanx to this fucking movie:

1. Everyone thought Ronnie was hot and looked like a model????????????

2. Ralph was the true talent & star eventho i have no idea whom this sis is

3. Johnny Gill apparently was in this group?? Wasn't Johnny like a full grown man lol or am I getting it wrong? Also I thought he was a solo star in his own right? Wait can we talk about Luke James? He slayed, no? His singing parts at least. I like his music and he should be more successful (or maybe not lol) but like...his recent song "Drip"?????? Why does it sound exactly like some Purple Rain type ish from The Good Sis Prince?? Like, get your own lane and then maybe we can have a convo about you being a star, otherwise, buh bye!! 

4. Michael Rapaport is for some reason one of those white ppl invited to The Cookout? Why??? Tell him to leave and no he cannot take a plate, tf.

5. Mike or whoever discovered Boyz 2 Men? That's awk cuz didn't Boyz 2 Mans blow up even bigger? Can I get a Boyz 2 Mans tv movie?? I need all the tea on that old one with the back problems - thanx. 

6. These niggas were from Boston? lol idk why I think only racist white ppl r from there. These mans seem like some gutter Philly niggas, but sure, I'll accept Boston.

7. Wood Harris is still alive 

 

Okay those are all the things I learned. That's a lot of things. More than six things. So. Very educational. Who did I like acting-wise? Oh, I thought...what's his name. Algee-something, who played Ralph, was giving me a little something. He was giving me something, idk what, but it was something. He made me care about a man I had previously before seeing this not even known existed, so he did a little something lol. Keith Powers as Ronnie was giving strong and silent teas. He was too cute to play Ronnie tho lol when I found out he was cast as him I was cracking tf up like plz stop, but he gave me weird alien teas a little lol so he did his thing lol plz kill me :').

The dude who played Bobby? Meh. Bobby Brown irks, but he's like a star and it wasn't fully captured, but he did okay I guess. Who else? There was some short dude playing some guy who had...a coke problem? Idk, who cares. And then Bryshere Gray played that Mike dude who I wasn't even sure if he had legit singing talent or was like the Diddy of the group or what, but Bryshere did pretty good? But I was only really here for Ralph and then, randomly, for no reason, Johnny Gill??, so, doesn't matter.

    

Overall, this movie was a little whack. Like, I didn't even watch the last maybe fifteen minutes? lol. It was all boring. Wait did I end up finishing it? There was a wedding or something but I don't remember the part where they're supposed to do the ~updates~. Like, what's good with Johnny lol, what he got going on?? Inquiring minds want to know! Ummmmm maybe you could have finished the movie and found out?? Lol smh. Anyway, was this movie better or worse than Citizen Kane? I would say it was on the same level of badness. No better, no worse.