Insecure, s2

I finally watched this mess. Wait - is it mess? I can't tell if I like this show or am hate-watching it. It's really annoying a lot. I think I don't like the Cali ~aesthetic~ like, at all. It's gross. Def what saves what could be some BET-level melodrama is the comedy. Which is pretty funny. I was open-mouthed laughing @ times, so that's a good sign to me. Also, I am really into the Molly character and all she has going on. She's, as many people have said, like the Great Value versh of Toni Childs, but...isn't that amazing? A not as hot (still pretty hot) possibly even more train-wrecked version of Toni? What does not sound good about that?? Everything sounds good about it. So there are a lot of things I like here, but...a lot of things I don't? Maybe I'm putting too much...hope or some shit into it? I should chill but I just wish there were as many black shows as there were white so I wouldn't be getting all extra over the three lil scraps we get and I have to get all aggy about quality and shit. Do you know...how many terrible white shows I watch and don't care even a little bit how trash they are cuz I always can just skip to the next? It's so freeing. Let's get these black shows up, I'm excited. (And then the Asians shows. And I guess the Latino shows..) 

I want to die. Instead of lassoing up the noose, imma, like, talk about this season of Insecure. Is this a good idea? I took notes. Like, I took notes. Not, like, a lot. But...they exist. It's bad. So, no.

Contents:

I. no condies?

II. hot tall dood

III. molly a mess, always smashing (that fat dude??) her rentz

IV. issa hoeing

V. lawrence more annoying than ever; loox like a cartoon..wootwoot..

VII. jizz in face big deal? (daniel)

VIII. issa jobbie

VIIII. issa bro

X. those friends kelly and liteskint

?. boy w/ weird head from victorious (funny)

??. muzak?? 

I. no condies? 

Um. I don't do sex. But like, don't people use condoms? Or is this how we got Zika and shit? Niggas just whilin raw. Fine. No judgment, seems fun. (Pleaz keep ur Pig AIDS away!!!) 

It's awkward how they just show characters quickly getting it in??? I have an issue with them never showing characters putting a condom on, and then also...like, there's never any foreplay? Can bitches just get jammed up with a dick without even a flick of a clit????????????? Maybe??? I genuinely have no idea. But speaking for my own personal vagina?? Like...warm me up first??? Don't just start jamming ur dick in my pee area when we're in a bathroom (gross???) or like really quick and deep and shit on the couch without some kissies on my urethra or some shit first lol smh. Is this just how TV Sex is supposed to look? I don't like, please stop. 

II. hot tall dood

That Cro-Magnon, caveman looking ass spicy black whatever type dude who's Molly's ~best friend from growing up~ is um, kinda hot? He's Shitty Teeth Hot, just my type lol. He's like, legit cute and tall af but looks a lil slow??? Annnnnnd I am here for him AND ALL OF THIS MESS!! My issue with this show is I don't be shippin' Molly or Issa with any of the niggas they be messing with. Do I need to? Yes!!!! Put sum niggas on the show I can get into, damn! This tall, barely evolved looking dude is def a step in the right direction, okay, let's do this! This shit is such a mess, tho.. 

III. molly a mess, always smashing (that fat dude??) her rentz

Okay. So poor man's Toni chi chi (don't) is...just a total disaster. She's in therapy now (why isn't Issa, btw????????), and, she is so me if I were to do therapy (why don't I???????????). I forget - did she quit? lol. (Please don't). But lowkey therapy seems........unhelpful??? Like your therapist is just sitting there staring @ you thinking of what they finna order for lunch and shit (I'm projecting, this is what I'd be doing) and it's just like, do they truly care? Also how is just spouting random platitudes helpful? I feel like a genuinely helpful therapist would be like some crazy dude with a chainsaw who just followed you around everywhere threatening you to do better, but Obamacare, I guess.   

I feel awkward for Molly's work situation. They gave her a fucking sticker. Wow. But will she really move to Chicago? Like, it's surely not happening in LA. That could not be more obvious, but I'm excited for this storyline. Kind of different from just focusing on their shitty, tragic ass love lives.

Speaking of!! So.........I thought it was cliché....that...Molly was hyping her parents' 30 year relationship, only to find out her dad cheated. Called it the minute she started hyping them, but...idk about her extra-ass reaction to finding out her dad cheated? She's...she's pretty grown lol. Idk about that. Also, maybe weirdly tone deaf or something? Maybe I'm wrong to think this way, but Molly be whilin' out in these streets. It's not like she's some chaste virgin who's been waiting around for The One. Idk, to me, her reaction seemed weird considering how she operates in her ~romantic life~, but maybe I'm reaching. 

BUT LIKE! WHEN SHE WAS UPSET AND TALL BOI RAN AFTER HER AND NOT STERLING K. BROWN??? On the one hand I was like yaaaaas cuz I ship it, but on the other hand I want to not have to live anymore. You know? Also...I don't know...how I feel about. Like, I guess cuz Molly's confused about what she wants, so am I?? But to be honest, if we're being honest, it seems she wants some bullshit, and for whatever reason, is not emotionally available for anything ~real~ and is subconsciously making sure she does not get anything real. The sitch she has with Cave Boy is like, exactly what she wantz, I think. And I am excited for that mess to continue next season and also to see the leaps and bounds she goes to to, like, validate that shit. Can't wait.

But...can we talk about her just smashing that fat dude because he was there and I guess? Gave her some popcorn? Molly is so desperate and weird. Bitch, just be Samantha Jones and call it a day, you making me fucking uncomfortable. Shit! 

IV. issa hoeing 

I liked the comedy aspects of this. Because it would so be me. Imma totally do a hoe phase. I think I'll be less awkward because I am 1. never ever putting on a freaking white jean skirt??? or 2. using a dating app. Online dating just seems awkward off-top. Imma go to the zoo or Aldi or some shit to find my dick. It'll be lit, I promise. But anyway, was that Broderick Hunter or whomever in the anteojos???? If so, he is mad awkward ~in person~ but I was dying at him dipping immediately on their ~date~. I mean, that is very rude, and would completely happen to me (no I'm jk i'd be the dipper #aquariussquad), but it was hilarious. All of Issa's shit in that bar scene was hilarious. But is that legit? Wouldn't in real life she'd be able to pull way easier? Dudes fuck anything, don't they? Wait that sounds rude to Issa lol I don't mean it like that, I just don't think, if they saw this SO OPEN opp to get some puss, they'd be, like, wincing and turning up their nose. But I never leave the house so I would not even remotely know this lol.

That thing with the Spanish dude, tho? AWKWARD!  He coulda been a sugar daddy. The fuck was Issa's broke ass doing? Come on. 

V. lawrence more annoying than ever; loox like a cartoon..wootwoot..

I hate Lawrence. Unequivocally. I do not like him! Lol. Ugh. He is so...fucking annoying! He is so annoying! Like, the people around Lawerence are extremely annoying (his co-workers, that annoying ass Tasha bitch) but somehow Lawrence comes out on top as THE MOST ANNOYING of everyone. How???? I cannot stand him lol. Real talk, tho: if he was hot I would barely care. If he was played by, like, Connor from Degrassi? He'd be my fave character. Or if he was played by #actingbae LaKeitha Stanfield, I would be screaming for more Lawrence! Moar Lawrence! Sad. But the dude who plays Lawrence looks like a goofy goober head. He looka like a cartoon and it just make his simp ass annoying ass beta ass character all the more infuriating.

Everything he does makes me feel frowny face. Why does him embarrassing himself at work with that WootWoot shit make me hate him so much? Shouldn't I feel bad??? I don't! And then him being hyped up by his Kewl Gurl Latina?? So much hate. Why does she need to tell you what your bitch ass needs to do???????????????????????????? Sigh! And then him getting all aggy cuz she chuckling it up with that ugly white dude @ work. Clearly she has low standards, thank god for you! Praise god & allah, you irritating bitch bastard! Hate him!! lol. I love...I love feeling hate. So good. I feel so...whole. Complete.

VII. jizz in face big deal? (daniel)  

I repeat: I never do the sex. But. Is jizz in the face that big a d? Both Molly & Issa were freaking out. Would I want a dude to come in my eyeballs? No. Never been around semen, but I guess it's irritating. My eyes get irritated really easily, I think I have allergies or something, so, that wouldn't be good for me, but idk if...like, if I was sucking dick??? I think I'd expect some gross, weird shit to happen? Like ejaculate on or...around my face???????????? Cuz a second ago I was just sucking up some peen and shit happens?????????? Idk. But it turns out Daniel kind of...was tryna get back at her? It wasn't clear if he actually was, or if it was just an ~in the moment~ sort of thing, but it was really weird to me that Issa, for some reason, was trying to show Daniel he meant a lot to her or something by sucking his peepee? I thought you were being a savage, what kind of shit is that? He not your man, tf. OMG AND NOW SHE MOVING IN WITH HIM! I can't wait for this mess. Leggo season 3, someone better get herpes. Do I want someone to get herpes? No (Yes). 

VIII. issa jobbie

Last year I felt like Issa didn't genuinely care about her job and this year I feel the same?? Annnnd so that's how I feel lol. She finna get that booty fired. Please do, so I can get that fire Broken Pussy EP. It's time.

VIIII. issa bro

Cute; funny. More of him - oui? Oh, also, Molly's brothers maybe? More of their brothers, maybe. Maybe.

X. those friends kelly and liteskint

Don't like them. Kelly all loud and shit. And liteskint, she annoying. But I think I just might not like Amanda Diva lol, but nah her character is tryna give me Hilary Banks? But I'm getting Hilary Stanks, and no thanx. #firrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! 

But can we talk about how Lawrence's ol buddy ol' pal looks highkey like Liteskint's bae?? They look too alike. Sus liteskints (y'all hispanic??). That's all I got for now, tho lol.

?. boy w/ weird head from victorious (funny)

First of all. That turn up in Issa's apt was HILARIOUS?? I was dying when that dude started crip walking and Issa asked if it was choreography (me) and for someone to turn off the music (meeeeeeeeeee). 

But look? Ol' boy from Victorious (wait is that even him lol) was KILLING ME. So funny. His head looks weird, but I wish he was recurring. But Issa moving, so no??? Um!!! ???

??. muzak

I like it mostly, but sometimes it feels try-hardy?? Like, LOOK @ ALL THIS BLACK INDIE SHIT! Lol it reminds me of when I used to watch Grey's Anatomy and they stayed going hard on those The Fray-type songs. I don't know how to explain how it's the same lol, idk...I think it's the overly-knowing your aesthetic and really pounding it in lol like chill for a second. And then Issa having Frank Ocean on her phone and that pillow she spilled wine on (enough). I think I'm just mad they aint got Maren Morris on the soundtrack. I was happy they had "Skywalker", tho. As a Miguel stan I am always wondering if anyone cares about him lol so at least he can get his music on a TV show. I wish Travis Scott wasn't on that song :/ Also I wish Bryson Tiller wasn't on that Jazmine Sullivan song :/ Like why is he needed, sigh. Also can we get some Sufjan Stevens on the soundtrack?? Or blasian alternative Toro y Moi?? Cum on!!!