Showing posts with label okay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label okay. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Possession (1981)


This movie almost qualifies as a Masterpiece of Shit. I think the ~~foreigness~~ saves it. I don't understand ~~føręîgñ~~ movies enough to be able to accurately discern whether they are bad or good, you know? I have NO FUCKING IDEA what is going on. I mean, some foreign films have been so immediately straight-up garbage that I was able to tell without having to know the language or whatever culture the movie was coming from. Like there's this French film I think...I forget the name but it's about two brothers fucking each other (who's surprised) and it's just straight up one of the worst shits I have ever seen and I don't need to understand French Speak or their weird boundary-less familial relationships to understand that that movie was a total all-around no. But usually it's not so straight-forward. I honestly...lol...feel like Possession might be one of those rare obvious right away it's really terrible films and maybe I'm being blinded for my secret love for weird squid sex and my not so secret love for Isabelle Adjani???

LIKE THIS IS A BAD MOVIE, RIGHT? Lol the first time I saw this I was IN LOVE. I like really loved this?? Lol HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MOVIE????? EXCUSE ME HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHIT?! What the fuck is wrong with me. But you know I'm always loving some disturbing, weird ass shit. Like I really loved both uncut volumes of Nymphomaniac?? I gotta make some changes. But! Not surprised I really super loved Possession. Not even mostly because of Isabelle Adjani getting fucked by that octupus alien thing (BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST), but because this movie is just like so up my disgusting alley. 

There's:
1. Really questionable, possibly severely non-good acting. I...love bad acting. I'm sorry I just do. But...there are certain conditions, you know? If I'm going into a movie expecting it to be acted really well and deliver me some OSCAR NOMINEE CONTENDER REEL REALNESS, then I want good acting. Like I really want to see that The Light Between Oceans movie and I'm expecting it to be acted well. If anyone is pulling a Nic Cage or Keanu imma feel some type of way. If I saw the trailer for Possession back when it first came out I wouldn't have any expectations at all except maybe for it to turn the fuck up. So questionable/bad acting here is completely acceptable and honestly almost required.
2. Crazy ass bullshit happening? No idea what's going on. No idea. No idea like what The Point™ is or anything cool like that, and I love it lol. I love not understanding shit. Lol but, again, there's conditions. Like I don't like a movie that's just random not-understandable to me bs and it's not intriguing. Like I be hatin' existential films a lot because they usually just be pretty and that's it? Like, no, have your main character get fucked by the mucinex snot plug but if it was an octopus and also an alien giant, the fuck. 
3. Sam Neill???? Yung Sam Neill is like mad hot. Is it okay to like a movie because it has hot Yung Sam Neill? No, but bitch, who are you? WHO ARE YOU?! Shit that reminds me I gotta watch Peaky Blinders seaz 3 lol. Wait did Sam get killed last season? Why do I feel like he got killed?? He didn't, right? I hope not I lowkey love him but he be doing the most aND OMG FOCUS! 
4. What the fuck else do I like about this mess? Uhhhhh lemme just post some pics I got from bing.com
?????????????
me
VERY, VERY ME.
hmmmm

So what was this movie tryna say lol. Something about women, but pretty sure this was  made by a man, so lesbihonest, whatever he got to say has to be automatically discarded lol. Niggas don't know shit about bitches, bottom line. I mean, this movie makes it obvious. Why you got Isabelle getting fucked by a spine when she could get literally anyone? And how come her side-nigga apartment was such a mess? I guess she was too busy getting fucked by the tail of a lizard to clean shit the fuck up? Nah, no, this is very not any woman. Not even Isabelle Adjani's crazy ass. Though it was very a woman to be turning up on Sam Neill's bitch ass. That is very a woman thing to do. 

WAIT OKAY BUT WHAT WAS THIS MOVIE SAYING LIKE WAS THIS EVEN A COMMENT ON WOMEN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT WEIRD ALIEN, ALTER TWIN BULLSHIT AT THE END?? girl idek Also what was up with the doppelgänger teacher? Also who names their son Bob? Did you even try smh


Friday, June 24, 2016

um, no: Orange Is the New Black, Season 4

Okay, no. Just no. If you were going to kill anyone it should have been Piper and I don't know how many times I'm going to have to say this???? And OKAY so you wanted to do a HOT IN THE HEADLINES sort of storyline, yeah? Honestly, that's lazy and gross? I mean I'm a ~writer~ and I do that shit all the time, but bitch I have a shitty blog and write fucking ebooks - you idiots have a whole legitimate TV show? I mean, it's on Netflix...but Netflix is respected now. So what are you doing? 

SO YOU WANTED YOUR SHOW TO MIRROR THE NEWS AND MAKE A COMMENT. Bitch. Please. Just like write your little lesbian prison show and keep it moving. Don't try to fucking like...~make a statement~, especially if the ~statement~ is like racial, and no one in your writers' room is even remotely a little bit tan. And like speaking of that Casper-colored ass writers' room: like...this show is just a mess in terms of commenting on race relations and shit. It was wild to me how they had Big Cindy talking about blacks can be racist. Bitch, where? Blacks are like on the bottom of the totem pole, so no. They can be bigoted, but when like every language has a word for "nigger", I'm gonna need you to be quiet on that racism shit. If anything, they're prob just salty that everyone hates them. Shhhhhh...shhh be quiet!!!!  

And then also didn't they have a white character commenting on fucking Dominicans being actual blacks? Like yes agreed, but it was just gross to me being said through whom it was said through (i think it was one of those nazis????), and then like...are there any Dominicans in the writers' room?? LOL I DOUBT IT!! 

But anyway let me not act brand new. This show has been a mess from day 1, and also it's created by Jenji "the creator of Nancy Botwin" Kohan, so. Like, I know about that bitch. It just...it kind of tipped over the edge for me with them killing Poussey. First of all: that's my bae. Had they killed like Big Cindy or something I lowkey wouldn't have cared as much. I have been bitching since the inception of this mess for them to give Poussey more screen time and more significance with her storylines and I thought this season maybe they would turn up with that. But idk why I thought that, especially when they teased a budding romance with Brook's annoying ass. Like, I should've foreseen they would still be on that bullshit season four. AND THEY WERE!! So yay for consistency.

I was so over Poussey and Brook immediately right away. It was ultra gross. And this was even before Brook was telling Ginger Paula Deen Poussey grew up a crackbaby in the ghetto. Brook is mad annoying?? Like I was feeling bad for her last year, but I immediately went right back to being insanely irritated this season, and honestly, I was glad. I was feeling weird for feeling bad for her last season. Like they really don't want you to like Brook, right? Those are the teas I'm getting. I mean, that whole thing with the sex offender dude? Girl...

Anyway, I hate this show :) Will I still be watching season 5?? UM YES BECAUSE THE FINALE WAS LIT AF!! DAYANARA'S STUPID ASS IS TURNING UP AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!! ugh i am pathetic. Let me just ignore them killing off my baby stud--WAIT BUT WHAT IS TAYSTEE GOING TO DO I AM SO UPSET. No, I'm ignoring it:) More screen time for Vicky Jeudy:) I swear 2 gawd if they don't give Janae more fucking lines I am going to burn this place to the ground. What place? Bitch idk worry about your life and ur career. Is Joanne the Scammer over yet? Pleez release me:)

Okay let me talk about other things sigh why is this shit all over the place. I wish I could write proper so I could make my own ugly TV show. No, that would be really bad. Like a mix between Seinfeld, Cousin Skeeter, Passions, Moesha, Who's the Boss? and Tim & Eric's Bedtime Stories. Tbh, that sounds kind of lit. Who wants that show raise your hand? 

Kill.
me.

So Crazy Eyes! Over her. Love her, but she's lowkey dead to me at this point. 

1. for killing that little white boy
2. FOR KILLING POUSSEY

She didn't kill either of them you say?? SHUT UP, YOU ARE WRONG. Fuck that little white boy tbh, but she is completely mostly responsible for Poussey's death. Like why won't her stupid ass calm thee fuck down?? Ugh like I don't want to be ugly towards crazies because I'm a crazy and I don't want anyone to be ugly towards me, but...idk. If I set off the sequence of events that ultimately led to my friend getting killed, I would just accept my punishment, whatever that may be. Going to psych, getting lobotomized, whatever. Idk, man. I'm over her. Like, I'm just annoyed at this point. I understand she can't take responsibility but a little bit I feel like she can?? Like if I were Taystee and em I would be done with her ass but okay I guess we gotta keep that ~iconic~ character around. ANYWAY. 

Yo but what is up with Caputo?? For some reason I've been caping for his bald ass, but now I'm over him, too. You're going to bat for that guard? WHY WAS HIS KNEE ALL UP IN POUSSEY'S BACK LIKE THAT?? WHY WAS HE EVEN TACKLING HER TWO POUND ASS TO THE GROUND TO BEGIN WITH??? I get that Poussey was kind of attacking him a small amount (please), but like they kept reiterating: she has the body of Oliver Twist. What is with all this brute force? And how dare you like...keep your knee in her back while fighting off Crazy Eyes man i don't understand how this went down. And then this bitch show wants me to feel sorry for him? BYE!! He's just some typical loser white boy who doesn't have to consider anyone because he's at the top of the food chain. Miss me with them showing him feeling remorse for throwing shit at the prisoners when they were cleaning up by the side of the road. Fucking asshole like pleez. 

I am so over having to see this guard next season, or Caputo's dusty ass. Like he is being mad lame. I kept waiting for him to wake up and get it together but that's obviously not a possibility at this point, so imma need him to kick rocks.

I'm happy my bae Nicky is back. Am I glad she's back on drugs? No. Can this show give me a break? Me. Let me live. Just chill. For one second of your life: stop.

NononononNO to Pennsatucky and her rapist. He is a rapist. Do I feel like Boo needs to chill her ultra-hardcore lesbian feminazi ass down? Yes, but I am also way more completely agreeing with her than I am like "calm down". I feel like if Boo was less hard...maybe Pennsatucky wouldn't be going back into the arms of that dude? Idk, she's a grown woman, she has her own mind and ideas about things, but sigh. She's also really kind of dumb? I don't think being "nice" and "forgiving" has anything to do with rape, do you? Why are those things even part of the equation? AND THEN THEY HAD HIM BEING ALL WEIRD AND RAPEY AGAIN! Jesus, I hope he's actually leaving because I honestly cannot.

And what of those other guards!! I felt physically sick this season wayyy too much lol. Especially concerning those weirdo, gross ass guards. They're vets from the war, yes? Yuck. Especially @ that one who made Maritza eat a mouse. Like...wtf. And I'm mad Caputo got punked when he tried to put that dude on suspension. Just no at everything dealing with these guards. 

But yes to Healy backstory. Please tell me why my loser ass kind of lowkey loves him? He's like mad racist and misogynistic? The backstory...doesn't even help explain lol. But I feel bad for his bitch ass. Also the actor that plays him...lemme go find his name...Michael Harney! Like I love him. He was on Weeds playing kind of an annoying dude but I loved him there, too? Idk I guess I'm into this actor. What is awakening inside of me? Pleez help.

Not here for Maria playing fucking drug kingpin. Like I a little love her and want her to get out of prison so she can go be with her baby girl? But yeah okay so she decided to do this because PIPER'S BITCH ASS got like 3-5 added to her sentence. Is that official? I hope not because omg. But I'm not here for her doing Scarface. She seems cool so it's not gonna be fun to watch her turn into like some crazy mess who won't be useful to her daughter when she gets out and anyway this show is completely fictional what am i doing:')

Anyway remember when this show never existed and I was happy? Lol me neither. Can't wait for seas 5!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Star Wars: The Force Awakens


So my favorite was Kylo Ren, because I'm a predictable bitch. Because of course! This movie was actually criminally boring? I mean...I do not, nor have I ever, given a fuck about the Star Wars franchise. I've seen not a single film except this one, and I only went to see this because I'm a full-on Boyega Booty stan now. I solely went to see this shit for Boyega, and Boyega only. So I was expecting nothing. Not to be entertained, thrilled, moved - not a damn thing. Which is good, because this movie hardly delivered. Or, if I expected nothing, I guess it did deliver??? :/

What I wanted, and what I received, was John Boyega's cute ass on my movie screen. His big ass face all up on the screen. I got that. I was a lil disappointed that for no reason at all he had an ~*~American accent~*~ even tho Rey for some reason had like a Scottish one, but that's neither her nor there. I am still side-eyeing Boyega's acting. I've only seen this and Attack the Block, and though he definitely looks like Denzel in the face (imo, bitch!!), he is not really on Denzel's level, acting-wise. Yet. And let's not act like Denzel is Daniel Day-Lewis or anything. Like, compared to his peers, he is one of the best. But isn't DDL his peer? If DDL is Denzel's peer, DDL is the best, and Denzel is one of. Which is still good. Boyega isn't one of the best of his peers, though. I don't even think he's equal to Mickey Beej, another black actor aroundish his age range whose acting I'm often questioning. But like Mikey Beej, I feel like Boyega has potential. And even if his acting never gets super high-quality, it's still good enough, and that's all you really need to be a ~*~star~*~, so let's do this!!!!!! 

And anyway, like I said, I'm a Boyega stan without him having super amazing acting skills so idk why I was coming for his lack of like Richard Burton prowess or whatever. All I care about right now is that he's cute and claps back all the time on social media. This is the age we live in. All I need is a cute smile and quick comebacks to people sly-hatin' in your instagram comments. Like I'm almost certain this is entirely why I care about Rihanna????? 

So, anyway!!! This movie was boring and I officially hate sci-fi fantasy. It's just not my genre. I swear I try to watch all the ~classics~ like The Matrix and Blade Runner and I just be looking at them shits like "........". Blade Runner is probably in my top ten most boring films of all time. I had to cut it off, it was that dull. This shit is so geeky and corny to me. And look, I am a geek and corny myself, but not that specific type you need to be to enjoy science fiction fantasy media. It just does not compute. I have enjoyed some of these films, but probably for really shallow having nothing at all to do with the actual story reasons. Like, does Prometheus count as one of these films? Because I liked that, but pretty much only because of how hot the cast was, and those really beautiful aliens lol or whatever those things were with faces carved by, clearly, the hands of god? No those things were horrifying, but Guy Pearce cameo!!! Did Blade Runner have a Guy Pearce cameo? Nooooo?? Okay well then why was it even made hmmmm?? 

So whatever, Boyega was really cute, but this movie was givin' me hella ashy teas. Just drrrrrrrrry, bitch. Please, why am I like this? I was just really bored lol! Like half-way dozing off and shit. This movie was really corny omg I'm screaming. Are all the other movies like this? Like what was with the aliens and how they looked? That was some bullshit. This is 2016, and you got aliens out here still lookin like the shits from the seventies. Um, bitch, okay? Update this shit! The robots look all clunky and ridiculous lol omfg pleeeez. And Chewbacca... Like, what is that? What. is. that. Why is it making that noise and why is it covered in hair and why come Han can understand his ugly, annoying ass? But like I don't even really care? And oh boy it look like this bitch gon' be back for the sequel that I have to see cuz Kylo and Finn's tryhard ass are gonna be in it sigh :(

I hope Kylo has wayyyy more screen time in the next movie. I need way more of him hilariously pulling his Vader mask off and revealing his frankly, disturbing face and head. I love Adam Driver but he is a funny looking dude lol and when he first took off that helmet to reveal himself to Rey I was fucking screaming. Like why is it more horrifying than the mask lol where do they do this? The setting of where Star Wars takes place, I guess. What is it ca--CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY WASTED MY BABY LUPITA ON SUM BULLSHIT? I'm staring at this ugly bug on my screen going whose voice is this : Tilda? Emma Thompson? Who dis? Only to cum and find out it's my beautiful, majestic African-Mexi princess Lupita Nyong'o. Um, bitch, okay? How you gon' hire this perfect bitch only to hide her under some ugly ass animated cartoon? Like, okay??? Where


deyyyyyyyy

do thiss


sssssss?????



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Anyway, when's episode eight comin out sigh

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Blood, Episode 2

:(

Episode 2 is doing way too much right out the gate. L OOK A T   HI MMMMMMMMMMM

Okay, so who is this??? Also, oh, it was Kochenia? Let me google wtf Kochenia is before I start screaming in caps about ol' orange sweater lookin ass up there. LOL OMG I'M SCREAMING IT'S A MADE UP PLACE PLEASSEEHEHEEKMEKMEEMIEMEMIMEKEKM. I just found someone's anime blog or some shit and they're like "wtf is Kochenia" omfg I want to diiiiieeeee

Okay, I'm over it. Now. WHO THE EFF IS THAT^ NIGGA?????? HMMM??????? AND WHERE THE FUCK ARE HIS GLASSES????? 

I'm going to save my questions about orange sweater for later when he shows up in slightly less quizzical clothing, but more quizzical...let's say...dialogue. He does things...I never...knew I needed to see. But...this show...gave me them...so...now...those things...are burned :) into :) my :) brain :)

Anyway, Orange Sweater formerly known as K-pop Glasses in my head, calls Ji-sang up from wherever the fuck he was and idk. There was a lot of...talking about...cancer hospitals? Just know Ji-sang is looking for a cure for vampire AIDS, right? And also he's searching for the origin of how, like, his family managed to acquire the virus??? Wow, I don't care at all :')

I'M SO EXCITED!! Okay, so, omg I totally forgot about how I was speculating that Mock Turtleneck aka Jae-wook was in cahoots with Orange Sweater. Or, the other way around? This adds so many more layers to the scenes with Orange Sweater later in the episode. If it's true he's working for Jae-wook. He's either working with Jae-wook, or gay as fuck. Possibly, hopefully, both :')

jdnoifjrogmklnfer

Okay. Ji-sang is starting work at some hospital. Taeman Cancer Hospital, or some shit like that?? Doesn't matter! The two doctors above are chatting about his arrival. Ji-sang is like some sort of star. He's done all these accomplishments and shit. Whatever, he's a cheater due to having super-human vampire skills. The doc in the first cap is like "blah blah sew Ji-sang's balls to my chin". The doctor below him is like *eyeroll* "Why is he so extra?" Team neither of them, because not none of these niggas look like current day and/or aging kpop members. So I don't care about anything they have to say/are doing. Just keepin it 100. 

Please. Pleeeeassseeee.

Ji-sang is just standing in the middle of the hospital entrance area like a dummy, when that doctor bitch runs into him. Ri-ta, right? I'm not going to be racist and just start writing Rita even though very much I want to??? So, she's ol' girl from episode one who got dissed by that bunny, right? She better be or I'm going to be annoyed that I wasn't right. And also embarrassed that this show outsmarted me in any way. Like, it already has multiple times. But I'm like pretending it hasn't???? :)????? 

SHE IS SO RUDE. How you gonna bump into someone, knock their shit to the ground, and be like *scoff* You were in my way. I am busy and have to run around like an insane person to places acting like I am blind and don't see niggas directly in my path but okaaaaay ?????? Who raised you?? Oh....wait.......

LOOK WHAT SHE DID TO HIS GLASSES

OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

So. Ji-sang is having some meeting with like...idk who this bitch is. Some person in charge of the hospital? But he's giving her orders? So when she's first introduced I thought she was a secretary?? But that later proved not to be the case??? Like, Ji-sang is almost as much of a Rudy Huxtable as ol' Ri-ta head back there. GIVE ME CUSTOM-ORDERED MEALS. He's a surgeon, like, not Jaden Smith, you know??? 

lol this guy. But, like, did he even peep the facilities, yet? Maybe the employee cafeteria is really poppin?? Maybe they have an Arby's??? Come on, buddy!! Also he asks for like...baseball games to be shown on his TV?? Okay don't you have some doctoring to be doing??? She's like "yes, okay, master!!" Is Ji-sang really all that special?? You do know he's not Jaden Smith, right?? 

Ri-ta is having some showdown or something with one of the other doctors. She's giving like a lecture or some shit and they're going at it over some medical procedure. That dude was hella neck rollin'. I'm saddened my screenshot captures only like 33% of his fucking attitude. Pretty sure the screenshot of Ri-ta captures all of hers, though. A bittersweet victory. No, now that I've scrolled back up to look at that dude, that pic captures at least 58% of his 'tude. I feel better :) I'm not dead, but, it's a start :)

Oh no. Ri-ta says "Who the heck are you" to Ji-sang. He's stunt queening in the back of the classroom with his shades on, making his ~I'm the smartest vampire in the room~ comments concerning Ri-ta's lecture. 

This dude is really excited by Ji-sang's presence. This specific hospital's very own Jaden Smith. At least, that's how they're acting. But let's be really honest. At most, Ji-sang is equivalent to Maddox Jolie-Pitt. Sort of coolish, but he's not John. And he's certainly not Jaden, who is better than any Jolie-Pitt kid, due to his close acquaintance with Willow Smith, a real-life vampire superstar doctor. 

Ji-sang went on some long over-explainy tangent about some medical shit. Basically it was: "Blah blah I'm smarter than everyone. Because I'm a vampire, but you can't tell haha." He's EXTREMELY SMUG about it. After his big speech, he smugly rises to get up out of his seat and his broken lens pops out of his sunglass frame. He just freezes like his fucking dick popped out instead of SIMPLY ONE SINGLE SUNGLASS LENS. 

HE'S JUST AWKWARDLY STANDING THERE FOREVER 

WHY IS EVERYONE STARING AT HIM LIKE ACTUALLY HIS DICK POPPED OUT INSTEAD OF ONE EYEFLAGLAS SLENSE WBDTA JT THATA THE FUCK

There's this like unnecessary slow-mo John Woo action shot of Ji-sang putting on his surgeon coat????? He's not even going into surgery??? He's just observing???  

Remember when Ji-sang said Ri-ta had makeup like an LA girl? Because I certainly do. First of all, that's rude. You can't just be like blatantly sexist at your colleague. Like, I'm sure it happens all the time, but it shouldn't?? And if you're going to be gross like that, at least come up with some roasts that someone older than a twelve year old, or one of Marky Mark's sisters from The Fighter, could come up with. 

I'm s c r e a m i ng. She's talking so much shit, but would she say it to his face, tho???

lol their roasts are so lame. And it's not insulting that he has better lips than you?? I mean, it's not insulting to him. 

Okay, so Ji-sang and Ri-ta were having some little confrontation out in the hallway? I'm already over their love/hate will they/won't they thing. Like it just started and I want to die. Just chaste kiss already and get it over with. But Ji-sang is trying to assert dominance over everyone? Like he just clocked in five seconds ago?? He's questioning Ji-sang about some surgery she's about to do, asking her who approved it blah. I think he tells her not to do it, but one of those other doctor dudes comes out like "what the heck? get into surgery.", basically allowing Ri-ta to ~win~ her little fight thing with Ji-sang. She's smugly like, 

Ji-sang sort of has his eyes cut @ Ri-ta as she's doing surgery. ????

Some older man comes in to watch the surgery. Ri-ta coquettishly wriggles her fingers at him. Yo, this dude is her uncle. Hmmmm @ her flirtatious nature??? Also, this is totally that little girl bitch from episode one because where are her parents hmmm?? lol, literally nothing about this proves she's that bitch but of course she is this is a k drama don't be a fucking idiot I swear to fucking allah if Ri-ta is not that little girl bitch from episode one I'm going off. My meds. loljk I'm not on any meds. I mean, obviously. Look at this. Look at this m e s s 

While Ri-ta is doing surgery she's like cockily arranging after-work plans with her colleagues??? 

Ri-ta's uncle asks Ji-sang to mentor Ri-ta or something? Teach her stuff?? I am appalled doctors still have to keep learning more shit after they graduate from medical school. Like, what do you mean???? Anyway, Ji-sang doesn't want to do it. But you know how this shit goes. I can't wait for all the mental and possible physical abuse that will result from this mentor/mentee relationship. And there will be so much abuse coming from both sides due to how equally arrogant and terrible Ji-sang and Ri-ta are. I can't wait. There better be some tense arm-gripping at one point or I will scream. I mean, outwardly. I'm already constantly doing so internally :)

Can maybe ppl stop jamming gauze into bodies to "fix" them? Also, cosplay party?? pleeeasse. please

Nice.

So Ri-ta ruptures like this person's celiac artery or some shit? Way to doctor. 

lol yeah. And...why does it pop up on the screen? Why...is there all this medical jargon/lingo?? I don't watch medical shows, really. Is this a prevalent thing? How awful. If I wanted to learn medical shit I would have gone to medical school haha right??

Soooooooooo...Ji-sang predicted Ri-ta would fuck up?? Okay, someone's life is at stake. Right??? Like, why is he just sitting there like "lol she's about to drop the grenade"?? Um, hello, if you know she's about to ruin somebody's fucking life due to her not on-point surgery skills, shouldn't you intervene? Like what??

Blood starts filling up in the celiac artery? Or spilling out of it?? idk, but Ri-ta is about to be sued, for sure. 

Wow, like, could you be fucking up more? Like, we're at the blood transfusion point? Guess who's not cosplaying tonight??? 100% not this person you're operating on, who is now clinically dead. 

Or are they??? Ji-sang to the rescue? Um, finally?? Fucking dick. And lol "bottomless pit"?? Wtf did she do?? 

Ri-ta gets salty that Ji-sang barges in on her surgery to take over. But it's like...okay, bitch, you don't know what you're doing so...step aside. ??? Ji-sang tells her to stop being cliché or whatever and fall back. She refuses until her uncle makes her. She whines like "uncle!" lol these people are doctors. I would never go to this hospital, how unprofesh. 

I'm cryyyyying. After Ri-ta is kicked out of surgery, she goes into the locker room or whatever and lets out a scream. Then she starts immediately coughing because she fucked up her throat or so me tjing idlfk I'm dyygingngngngg jnunah

I capped this because it looks like Ji-sang shaves his brows. Nice attention to detail. I hate everything.

Ri-ta is so childish and immature, right? Bitch, aren't you a grown woman doctor bitch??? Are you seriously whining because your uncle told you to step away from a surgery you were clearly incapable of performing?? Hello someone could have died??? Like, how do you have any ego at all in this profession, I'm 100% confused. And, seriously, again, the whining? I just

gpoy

So...

This other doctor bitch starts talking about how hot Ji-sang is?? She's like, he's sexy???? I want to die @ this conversation. Like, do you seriously have these two woman doctors sitting around discussing another male doctor's looks? Like, okay, since when ever?? I'm sure they have more important items to discuss. Such as doctoring shit. Like, such as how Ri-ta is such a huge failure as a surgeon. Items such as those. Another doctor's attractiveness would surely be on the bottom of the list of important topics two doctors would need to discuss on their lunch hour. But maybe I'm being delusional. Maybe all doctors are Meredith Grey. Lord help us

I'm screaming if Ji-sang is in his late thirties. I actually got mad at this until I remembered he's a fucking vampire. Ugh, whatever. And the way they explained the aging thing in this? Not adding up. When exactly do "pure" vampires stop aging, hmm?? Is there a particular cut-off age? Like, seemingly it's twelve years old?? They're never going to delve too deeply into this, though, so I'm not going to even bother legit searching for answers. But know I'm annoyed. Not just @ this show, but in general. Why do so. many. fucking. people. chew with their mouths open???????

-_-

So the cut-off age is "early twenties"? He looks maybe like a tall preteen?? But okaay fiiiiiine. I really hope some nosy doctor bitch at this place gets overly suspicious of Ji-sang. Like, his looks and his skills and--oh, it's gonna be Ri-ta. Ka duhhhhhhh. 

One of those doctor dudes tries to ask Ri-ta out on a date? She's essentially like "ew nigga get outta here!" I  c a n ' t

Casually means "rude", right? And this just isn't Korean culture. Side-eye at every "boss" I've ever had :')

I don't like how she says this like...she's into it. Nuance, please?? Don't lean in so hard to the love/hate thing come on like don't just give me it. Also, isn't he ordering you around because lowkey he's the boss? Or at least the most skilled one?? Out of all you doctor hos?? Close your mouth

Um
What's with this random doctor ho spying on Ji-sang and Ri-ta...??? And omg at...just everything happening in that cap above. This show is really horrible and I love it. Look at my dude's hair scraps I'm screaming!!!

THANK YOUUUU! Tell her, please!! 

No, bitch.

THANK YOU TAHNK YOU W AHAT THE UFCK

So...Ji-sang starts whining about his glasses that Ri-ta broke. Apparently they're from Chile and
for some reason his vampire ass stood two hours in...line...to get them? Like, they're dope shades, but it's never that serious. He demands that Ri-ta buy him a new pair. The exact ones. Ri-ta says she will, but with, like, her attitude. 

Ri-ta cuts her finger on the shades and is hella dramatic in the hallway blowing on her finger. She's honestly ten years old. 

These nurse bitches walk by and start giggling at Ri-ta's dumminess. Pllleleeeaaassseee. 

OKAY.

YOOOO. Okay, let me find out this dude's name rq. Okay, Hyun-woo. WHO IS THIS DUDE??? HOW DOES HE KNOW JI-SANG?? WHY DO THEY LIVE TOGETHER HOW DID THEY MEET PLEASE ANSWER MEEEE  yo, my dude built A FUCKING ROBOT. For Ji-sang. 

HE NAMED IT LUUVY. AND HE KISSES IT. 

AND WHEN JI-SANG COMES HOME HE SAYS THIS^^^^

1. l o o k  a t  J i - s a n g ' s  f u c k i n g  s w e a t e r
2 is Hyun-woo Ji-sang's nurse? I think he knows he's a vampire?? I'm not sure yet, but if he does, he's being way too--YEAH DUH HE TOTALLY DOES. Because of how they were talking about tracing where Ji-sang's family got the disease, etc. Ugh I'm so slow. But who is this dude that Ji-sang trusts him with his vampire secret? 
3. also, totally he's working for Jae-wook. Like, I'm 100% convinced now.

SPEAKING OF MY QUEEN

omg

He's so excited!!! Me too, boo. Ughhhh

HE'S WEARING A TURTLENECK. I truly hate everything that I represent.  

He's so obsessed with Ji-sang it's so funny. Also, a little, I get father vibes from him? Daddy vibes???? It totally seems like he looks at Ji-sang as his son? Yo, what if he is. Plot twist?? Pleaaaassse @ this show. Pleeeeeez

Do...Ji-sang and Jae-wook speak? How do they know each other? Do they just call each other up on the phone? FaceTime?? The uncle dude mentions how Ji-sang sort of doesn't like Jae-wook. I'm annoyed ep2 didn't fully explain their relationship. Towards the end of the ep, Ji-sang was acting like he  don't even know this nigga. But I'll wait. 

Did he call Ji-sang up and be like "lol I killed ur dad come work at my hospital???" Like what did he say to him? I'm SO ANNOYED

I was like...maniacally pressing my little screencap button during this scene. I think here I tried to rewind because after Jae-wook said "nothing medical, but something regarding his personal life", the uncle sort of laughed. But in like a way where you could tell he was internally planning how to escape this moving vehicle. Probably he started moving his hand toward the little handle thing. Probably the door is locked and it's one of those safety locks and he's not fucking going anywhere

My nigga is wearing a cardigan over a turtleneck sweater 

WHAT IS THIS BED?? CAN U SEE THAT STEAMY FOG STUFF COMING OUT OF IT???? wha

Yo, is Hyun-woo in love with Ji-sang? Be honest. Just tell me. I don't think I've ever seen a gay character in a k-drama? At least not an acknowledged one sideeyesideye. But also I've only seen like five k-dramas total, this being my fifth. So maybe this is the first one! I'm so excited if Hyun-woo is gay. But I feel like his ~gayness~ is just going to turn into him being a fucking traitor. Lame, and homophobic. Also I'm just now remembering there was ~a gay~ in Nice Guy. Attorney Park or something, right? But didn't he turn out to not actually be gay? Like I was happy he wasn't, just because I shipped him with a female character, but......hmmmmmm @ fake gay characters.

...Hyun-woo presents that fucking robot to Ji-sang. I want to cry. He's like,
omg
pleeassse...

I'm crryyiiing. This robot is trash and a fucking poseur!! 

I cannot scream enough @ how this robot talks. It has a robot voice but with a Korean accent. I can't even...I can't get my voice ear-piercingly screechy enough to properly convey how my insides feel when this robot is fucking speaking. 

1. This scene is making me want to die
2. Rude. He spent two years making that creepy mess for you
3. But why? Exactly. Why?? Yo, if Hyun-woo is working for Jae-wook like he probably totally is, then that robot was obviously engineered to spy on/keep track of Ji-sang. But...two years, though? Tragic.

Oh god. Please don't turn out to be a traitor/spy. I mean, I loovovee Jae-wook, but he's clearly a demon, and working for him is not a good look. And you're so cute and I want you to be boyfriends with Ji-sang, not enemy friends :((

I honestly can't believe this scene actually happened, because everything was so overtly homosexual. You made a love robot for your live-in housemate? Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. 

Okay, so I just googled agape love. Google's ass is telling me it's love for God. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, not sure how Hyun-woo's creepy robot...will transfer love for God onto Ji-sang?? Or is Ji-sang supposed to feel godly love??? This is fucked up, either way. You can't get love from a robot, and I need these nerds to know that right now. lol no I'm jk, idk shit about love. Like, I had to google it. 

Hyun-woo tells Ji-sang he's so dry. Like, I know what he means, but that's not...that's not how it sounds. Also he could be referring to Ji-sang's ashy state. He's wearing a lot of sweaters and they didn't show him moisturizing before putting all that itchy shit on. 

This scene keeps happening. Hyun-woo wants Ji-sang to know that "LUUVY" can recognize emotions on faces. He smiles at this thing and I got a weird feeling inside me. I couldn't tell if it was disgust or...like another word for disgust, that means being disgusted. 

Then he cries at it and...I...  ?.... The robot is saying things like "Your girlfriend's parents must be out of town" to the happy face, and "Looks like another man is in your girlfriend's house" to the sad face. ???? My question marks are directed @ the robot assuming Hyun-woo would have a girlfriend. Come on. 

The robot is saying this. Ji-sang's face is my face, 100%. 

I know! I love how much Ji-sang hates this freaky ass robot. I do too, so much. Like, why is it worse than that robot from Rocky 3 or 4?? Both of those movies are the same to me. Like how 1 and 2 are the exact same movie. Why was there a robot? Why is there ever a robot?? Pleaaae. Let's all just agree that Rocky 5 is the best one. Cage Stallone had a fucking feather earring. 

LOOK AT HIS FACE HE LOOCEVEVEVEVSVSS S HIM PLEASE DON'T RURTN OUT TO BE A PIECE OF SHITIIT

The squad rolls through.

lol, yeah, they just showed them. But...okay, what's the squad about now? Because before, it was all about capturing Jason aka Ji-sang. Nowwww...Jae-wook has him in his grasp, pretty much, right? Sooooo...what is their purpose now? I guess these questions will be answered in episode 3 omg I've only watched two e

wtf is that demon statue thing in Ri-ta's house???

Ji-sang is watching old videos of himself and his mom.
disgusting. wipe your face

He's getting emotional. This seems like a healthy activity. 

So, Ji-sang's mom is throwing shade at Jae-wook. But what are these "bad purposes" she speaks of? We have no idea what Jae-wook is up to. They've mostly been showing him creepily drinking things in dark rooms?? Like, oooh scary. Come on.

YES
Wowwwww. But why not? She's talking about how she's worried Ji-sang will seek out his father's killer and kill them. But is this bitch thinking about how his father's killer killed him because of Ji-sang?? HELLO, BITCH. They wanted Ji-sang! Can this nigga get a heads up about his very own personal Voldemort who's been stalking him from birth?? Wtf

I'M
SCRE
AAAAAAAMMMMIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Does that weird foggy steam stuff act as a blanket? Yo, give me this cool bed, please. Maybe. Does that steamy fog stuff make you feel...wet? Like, in a bad way? In a...moldy way?? 

This bed is actually starting to look really uncomfortable. Is it a specially made for vampires bed?? Also, is that a crocodile skin pillow??? Fam. 

Jae-wook has a bunch of packets of piss in his fridge. 

He's like...deciding between which piss packets to drink. Hmmmm, shall I have diabetic piss, or pure virgin baby piss today?? 

mmmm, pee. 

pleeeasssee

look at his liddle fingers jeensmksm

Why does Jae-wook remind me of Tommy Wiseau but also John Cho?? a poem by me. 

get this creepy happy birthday paulie shit outta here!!!

me

this robot spittin unrequested wikipedia facts

yes! please!!

omg :333

No, but clearly he'll come to betray Ji-sang. Well, maybe it's what he deserves for ripping that book up in that store. Karma. 

Ri-ta gets Ji-sang the sunglasses.

He's skeptical. Cuz clearly this bitch didn't just come back from Chile. He's like, "Where did you get these?" She's like,
Then he's like,
I want to kill him lol omg like is h e  s e riou s

Then the sweet, horrible realization that the glasses were sham all along. I mean, he bought them in Chile. Where even is Chile?? Come on, pal. 

I love how a pair of sunglasses I could buy from Forever 21 is a legitimate plot point in this show :')

I hate this guy's face so much omg. First of all, he's speaking in English. He's like blah blah I went to Medical School in America blah and now I want to come to my father's hometown and be a doctor for some reason here blaahhhh. 

This chick^ and that other one are interviewing to work at the hospital. The American one is all confident. The chick one gets reamed immediately for not knowing how to speak English. lol okay but this hospital is in South Korea, right? Or am I wrong? I remembered something mentioned about Canada? But pretty sure this takes place in Korea. Though maybe one of those nurse bitches was giving off a sort of Inuit vibe?? 

They ask the chick one why they should pick her to work at the hospital and she tells some story about how her mom died there?? How other places told her mom she only had weeks left to live, but Taeman or whatever extended her life for eight months. Wow, wowowowoww. 

Ri-ta is like *Steve McQueen clap*,
Yeah, okay, bitch, tell that to your fucking uncle-daddy who presumably secured you a job there. Puh-lease. 

Ji-sang is like,
overriding whatever Ri-ta said. Essentially being like an inverse Simon Cowell and can I please be shot in my brain

This chick is hot, right? And she's like super thankful to Ji-sang for hiring her. I'm like "hmmmm", even though he's all rude and dismisses her thank yous as "false sentiment" or some shit like that. Why do I immediately ship her with him more than Ri-ta, though? Because Ri-ta's an annoying bitch?? But whatever, no1 competes with LUUVY. 

Ji-sang is super-rude to a trio of nurses swooning after him, saying how he dosn't need to know their names because they won't be on a first name basis and I'm fucking crying how rude can you be. 

The Hawaiian looking one is like,
Yo, South Korean roasts are TRASH!! Like, ooooh get em!! Except, no!!! No one was gotten!!

My babe is giving some speech shit for the doctors of the hospital. I think he owns the hospital or is the new director? Couldn't really care less, just glad my bunny is getting mad screen time <333 I want to be dead <333

Okay, so while Jae-wook is giving his speech, Ji-sang is walking around the halls and getting these weird like spidey sense stroke tinglings. Like how his mom got before the thugs descended on their house in ep1. So...what's going on here??? Are the thugs and Jae-wook vampires, or something else??? Like, maybe I wouldn't have so many questions if I wasn't only on episode :) t:)w:)o:)

um. Jae-wook's speech made me uncomfortable and lowkey hate him???? No. I could never hate him. But...he starts comparing surgery to...mini skirts???

...surgery is like mini skirts because treatment duration should be short, but what needs to be covered should be covered. He also made some other vom-inducing comparison. The audience is laughing like *South Korean accent* HA HA HA. Ri-ta is like,
Don't ever make me identify with Ri-ta. 

Jae-wook makes everyone clap for that thing he said about Ri-ta's uncle. It was awkward when they didn't clap as soon as after he said it lol. Like, he had to tell them. I've never felt so uncomfortable. Ri-ta's like,
I love how much she clearly hates him. But why doesn't it make me hate her more??? Like, I understand why she hates Jae-wook. He's douchey as hellllllll. Like, I'm soooo into it, but I get not being into it, you know? Douche is an acquired...vinegary, off-putting taste. 

Ji-sang comes through and he and Jae-wook have a weird stare-off thing. I have no fucking idea what is going on with Ji-sang, what he's sensing, and how well he knows Jae-wook. But I'm very excited and ship it immediately.

YES I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT ALL EPISODE Y E SSSSS
Y

E

S
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSI'M FUCKING SCREAMING JI-SANG REFUSES TO SHAKE JAE-WOOK'S HAND HE IGNORES IT AND JUST BOWS PLEASSSSEEE KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Jae-wook is just like,
*blood-curdling screams*

He is fucking dying inside and I relate so much and feel sooooo bad for himmm omggg lol

ogmomogmomgomogoogmomgomomgm omomgomgmgom he is so rejected. His smile is so tight omg he's holding in vomit meeeeeeee toooooooooooooooooooooo

So this was really funny to me. Idk this dude's name lol, he'll be Doc #13 for now. So Doc #13 questions Jae-wook assigning some surgery to Ji-sang. Oh, I totally forgot about Jae-wook being weird and giving Ji-sang that surgery. I think Doc #13 was originally supposed to do it?? Idk, Jae-wook has some ~plan~~. Anyway, Doc #13 pulls Jae-wook aside to question him about the decision and Jaewook starts going. in. But...in like his scary :))))))) smiley face way. He tries to make Doc #13 feel like a piece of shit for going against what's best for patients and putting his ego before them, etc. I was screaming, he treated this nigga mad patronizing. Like, this nigga almost started crying lol

:))))))))) *diedieieidddiddidiiedie* :))))))))))))))))
HE CONDESCENDINGLY PATTED THIS SHITTING IN HIS PANTS NIGGA ON THE SHOULDER I'M DEAD

Okay so is...Ji-sang trying to gain access to...Jae-wook's files or something???? I thiiiink. He did some fingerprint stealing stuff?? Idk, but he definitely suspects him of something and that's what's important. I can't wait until Jae-wook gains access to dat ass :')

Ji-sang starts shaking while performing surgery. THIS NIGGA IS TURNING INTO A FUCKING VAMPIRE WHILE OPERATING ON A BODY OMG HELLO WHAT IS HAPPENING

Jae-wook is watching him like,
YOU PIECE OF SHIT WHAT DID YOU DO

OH BOY

Acrylic game still en pointe, though. That's good.