Possession (1981)

This movie almost qualifies as a Masterpiece of Shit. I think the ~~foreigness~~ saves it. I don't understand ~~føręîgñ~~ movies enough to be able to accurately discern whether they are bad or good, you know? I have NO FUCKING IDEA what is going on. I mean, some foreign films have been so immediately straight-up garbage that I was able to tell without having to know the language or whatever culture the movie was coming from. Like there's this French film I think...I forget the name but it's about two brothers fucking each other (who's surprised) and it's just straight up one of the worst shits I have ever seen and I don't need to understand French Speak or their weird boundary-less familial relationships to understand that that movie was a total all-around no. But usually it's not so straight-forward. I honestly...lol...feel like Possession might be one of those rare obvious right away it's really terrible films and maybe I'm being blinded for my secret love for weird squid sex and my not so secret love for Isabelle Adjani???

LIKE THIS IS A BAD MOVIE, RIGHT? Lol the first time I saw this I was IN LOVE. I like really loved this?? Lol HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MOVIE????? EXCUSE ME HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHIT?! What the fuck is wrong with me. But you know I'm always loving some disturbing, weird ass shit. Like I really loved both uncut volumes of Nymphomaniac?? I gotta make some changes. But! Not surprised I really super loved Possession. Not even mostly because of Isabelle Adjani getting fucked by that octupus alien thing (BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST), but because this movie is just like so up my disgusting alley. 

There's:

1. Really questionable, possibly severely non-good acting. I...love bad acting. I'm sorry I just do. But...there are certain conditions, you know? If I'm going into a movie expecting it to be acted really well and deliver me some OSCAR NOMINEE CONTENDER REEL REALNESS, then I want good acting. Like I really want to see that The Light Between Oceans movie and I'm expecting it to be acted well. If anyone is pulling a Nic Cage or Keanu imma feel some type of way. If I saw the trailer for Possession back when it first came out I wouldn't have any expectations at all except maybe for it to turn the fuck up. So questionable/bad acting here is completely acceptable and honestly almost required.

2. Crazy ass bullshit happening? No idea what's going on. No idea. No idea like what The Point™ is or anything cool like that, and I love it lol. I love not understanding shit. Lol but, again, there's conditions. Like I don't like a movie that's just random not-understandable to me bs and it's not intriguing. Like I be hatin' existential films a lot because they usually just be pretty and that's it? Like, no, have your main character get fucked by the mucinex snot plug but if it was an octopus and also an alien giant, the fuck. 

3. Sam Neill???? Yung Sam Neill is like mad hot. Is it okay to like a movie because it has hot Yung Sam Neill? No, but bitch, who are you? WHO ARE YOU?! Shit that reminds me I gotta watch Peaky Blinders seaz 3 lol. Wait did Sam get killed last season? Why do I feel like he got killed?? He didn't, right? I hope not I lowkey love him but he be doing the most aND OMG FOCUS! 

4. What the fuck else do I like about this mess? Uhhhhh lemme just post some pics I got from bing.com

?????????????

me

VERY, VERY ME.

hmmmm

So what was this movie tryna say lol. Something about women, but pretty sure this was  made by a man, so lesbihonest, whatever he got to say has to be automatically discarded lol. Niggas don't know shit about bitches, bottom line. I mean, this movie makes it obvious. Why you got Isabelle getting fucked by a spine when she could get literally anyone? And how come her side-nigga apartment was such a mess? I guess she was too busy getting fucked by the tail of a lizard to clean shit the fuck up? Nah, no, this is very not any woman. Not even Isabelle Adjani's crazy ass. Though it was very a woman to be turning up on Sam Neill's bitch ass. That is very a woman thing to do. 

WAIT OKAY BUT WHAT WAS THIS MOVIE SAYING LIKE WAS THIS EVEN A COMMENT ON WOMEN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT WEIRD ALIEN, ALTER TWIN BULLSHIT AT THE END?? girl idek Also what was up with the doppelgänger teacher? Also who names their son Bob? Did you even try smh