I was obsessed with Inside Amy Schumer for a minute. I thought it was really fresh~~~~ and funny. Amy's stand-up is trash, but similar to Nick Kroll (intentional shade pick it up), her style of comedy translated well to a TV show (inverse: Hannibal and his show yikes). Comedy Central was really giving me life for a minute with Inside Amy, Kroll Show, Key & Peele, Nathan For You, Broad City, Workaholics, Review, etc. But then...idk if shit fell off or I like...outgrew a lot of this type of comedy? These shows aren't even the same, but sort of they are? The only show out of that lot that didn't really fall off for me is Nathan For You, but it's like the most different one out of them. But a lot of those other shows lowkey (highkey keep it 100000) fell off? Last season of Key & Pee was trash (I wanna see Keanu tho like just based off the name sigh), Workaholics been a mess (where is their movie tho???), Kroll Show ended...appropriately...uh...and I aint even watching Broad City anymore. I lowkey started to get annoyed?? There's something so white people about Comedy Central comedy, and it starts to grate lol. I think I was watching too much of this shit and just got drowned in whiteness.
Speaking of drowning in whiteness: Jennifer Lawrence. That movie she and Amy are working on, if it ever gets made, will obliterate both of their careers entirely and, frankly, I am ready. I am so completely excited for how HORRIFIC that will be. It's gonna be the movie version of whenever one of Taylor Swift's paid-for model friends stabs her to death with a Kylie Jenner lip kit, AND I AM GUSHING WITH ANTICIPATION.
What is happening in this post? Idk. I am so tired. Anyway, Amy is base comedy Jen Lawrence? Imma need Amy to stop saying she's like a ten in the comedy world, though, because no. Tig Notaro gets more bitches than you. Sarah Silverman has looked the exact pretty ass same since she first burst upon the scene a million years ago being corny and annoying. And clearly you are ignoring literally all black comediennes? A ten to Jim Norton when that radio deejay he sucks off isn't around, maybe? You keep catchin' those dicks, tho...
So Amy annoys me and it took such a tiny amount of time for me to go from "I love Inside Amy Schumer omg heart eyes" to "ugh this Garbage Pail Kid again?". I LOVE when my initial much-love swerves so severely to intense despisement. The red underliny thing is telling me despisement is not a word. HOW??? THAT'S A PERFECT WORD TO EXPRESS DESPISEMENT!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DICTIONARY?? WHY DO YOU HAVE CATFISH THE MOVIE BUT NOT DESPISEMENT??? EXPLAIN!
When I first heard about Trainwreck (yikes @ name or intentional? still yikes...), I was excited. But by the time the first trailer crawled around I was like ugh. Had lost all me cares. Still kind of wanted to see it, though. Even though I stopped watching Inside Amy right around that episode where she had like all those white feminists on the show talking about how horrible it is to be a decrepit white woman or whatever - like...just an endless series of cringe-seizures and eyerolls til I died. I have never returned from the dead. So that helped when I was watching Trainwreck. I was entirely unable to feel anything, and that was for the best :)
It wasn't a bad movie and that's my review. I wasn't nearly as irritated and put-off as I needed to be. I thought Lebron James whom I care literally nothing about was funny. He also had a suspiciously present hairline, but that's neither here nor...there..... ....
I also thought John Cena was funny and I could've watched a whole movie just with him. Like more John Cena in movies?, or is this going to be a ~be careful what u wish for~ type of deal? Sigh, prob. *insert John Cena meme on a loop til I explosively orgasm and die* Tilda, my scary ginger alien bae, was perf per ush. LOVED her magazine editor and literally everything that came out of her horrible mouth. Omg that line about her wishing her father's remains had been recovered had me laughing for at least an entire minute. So if Amy wrote the script, props for some pretty funny lines/moments. Like, props for that awkward ass scene with Ezra Miller. I LOVVVVEVEVEVEVE Ezra. He is soooo weird! He is not in movies enough. Or maybe he's doing mainly indie shit I never watch? I know he did some movie on the Stanford Prison Experiment or something that I need to see but ANYWAY!! He was good here with his basically nothing. For a while I was wondering why Amy would put him in her movie just for him to play some green intern. But then they added some frankly....confusing storyline with her almost fucking this sixteen year old intern and also beating him and getting fired???? Why......did she need to get fired? It was just like...very random conflict. And they didn't even show it really affecting her. Also why did the movie make it seem like...Bill Hader and his career was more important than Amy's? He was like a knee surgeon? Lol who cares. And what was up with all the basketball/sports cameos? Was this a move to appeal to ~THE MENZ~~?? *gags* Binch, if you gon' give me a ~romcom~, give it to me, ho. Write it for women, not them ugly dudebro bitches.
Whatever. This movie was alright. But like...Amy is a straight white woman and not doing anything new, sorry lol. They kinda tried to market this as like a ~trash meets romance~ sort of deal. But yo, are we forgetting Bridesmaids? This shit aint new. Like...can Issa Rae get a romcom movie deal? Leslie Jones?? Shit, Hannibal Buress?? I wanted to say like a funny handicapped Indian woman for diversity~~ but sigh, I can't think of any kill me. But like...my point is Amy doing this movie wasn't doing something new and, imo, people should always be doing something new. Unless they are obscenely talented and can just make a boring film about people sitting around a room talking immensely riveting. Literally almost no one can, so bring me that new-new to keep me intrigued. Why didn't Amy go gay or something? Or did she think it was so ~avant garde~ for her shitty, garbage pail character to fall in love with like a regular normal dude and in turn be loved back? Wow shocking, she's a blonde, gainfully employed, not super-fat white bitch. So controversial.
In conclusion, have you seen what Ezra Miller looks like now??
...what a fucking beautiful idiot...
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