!!!: The Drop (2014)

I can't believe this movie exists. I can't believe Tom Hardy exists. Like

wha...

what is???

why are you?!??!

So, like, honestly, this whole post could be just me unintelligibly talking about how much I love Tom Hardy, and like, even more so when he's cuddling a little pit bull pup, but I will, like, whatever, try to mostly talk about the movie?? Like the other stuff in the movie? In sort of a comprehensible, non-insane way? LOL

So...this was sort of an odd film. For me, anyway. I kept thinking how bizarre the pitbull pup plot was mixed in with all this...sort of gangster mob shit. It was like comical and sweet, but at the same time threatening and ominous because there's this weird guy who wants the dog and maybe he's a crazy murderer, but definitely he has a full blow-out that probably cost $200?? Right, like, this movie is so weird! Why does Eric Deeds have like highlights and a seventies blow-job???? But he looks homeless and unhinged??? I guess that explains his out of place "look"?? And what is this business with the chip  in the neck and all that? Does that honestly exist? And even if he did have that, when he was like "okay, I'll tell the police you beat the dog" right...who would the police believe? Bob, or Eric who spent time in a fucking insane asylum?? Hmm?? Why didn't Bob counter with that? Why did he entertain Eric for even one millisecond? ESPECIALLY WHEN THE WHOLE TIME HE KNEW THIS DUDE WASN'T EVEN A THREAT??? So. confused. But at the same time I'm just really glad there was an excuse to have all those scenes with Tom and that dog :') I wonder if the people behind making this movie are like huge pro-pit people? You know, like those people who are always PITBULLS AREN'T DANGEROUS IT'S THE OWNERS! Like Noomi's character straight-up says that verbatim at one point. Totally the entire reason behind this film was to get across the pro-pitbulls message and I love it, I love everything about. 

Okay and can we talk about James Gandolfini?? He was super funny in this and he made me like him and I got really annoyed when he fucked with Bob and, ultimately, good acting R.I.P. I'm annoyed I recently ~binge watched~ all six some fucking seasons of The Sopranos and spent the whole time not even realizing this dude is a super-good actor?? Maybe he makes it look too easy? Or I was distracted by all the nose-breathing??? Idk, but it sucks he's dead. But at least he left some fine performances behind before he peaced the fuck out and this is definitely one of them. How are you a huge piece of shit but also super-charming and hilarious? When he ran over that irrelevant kid from Animal Kingdom I was screaming and crying :') Like, in a good way. Like the audience at a black comedy club and Kat Williams is doing a set sort of way. Or when he talked about going to Europe with his sister and how he's that sort of loser now, traveling to Europe with his sister with a camera around his neck, idk it was funny. Or him lazily throwing salt down as Bob shoveled, or his response when Bob was like, "You don't call people from Ireland Irelandians" or whatever. Or when he was watching Bob wrap that arm and was like "You look like you're wrapping meat, like you do this every day". Like, Cousin Marv was just cracking me up the whole way through. Then shit started to get real and I was :( because I liked him but he was dirty. I was so mad when he started working with Eric. Why, Cousin Marv?!?

But okay! Him working with Eric leads us to find out that it was really Bob who killed that Wheelin dude, and whoopsie now Eric's dead, too! *Nadia's uhhhh...can I leave now face* Girl, me too. 

Like! I knew Bob was gonna turn the fuck up. And I totally wanted him to kill Eric...but...things got a little complicated once it was revealed Eric hadn't actually killed the Wheelin dude and then two seconds later he himself was murked. Nadia was like "lol umm...you just shot him..." Nadia was me while watching that scene, for real. And then when Nadia implied Bob was part of the thug life and he tried to assert that he was different from them I was also Nadia as she scurried away, promising not to say anything. I won't say shit, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME LIKE YOU JUST DID ERIC AND THAT OTHER DUDE AND PROB A BUNCH OF OTHER DUDES PLEASE DON'T PUT MY BODY IN A BOILER FULL OF LYE AND LAUNDRY DETERGENT THANK YOU PLEASE. But why did I still think it was cute when he referred to Rocco as their dog even though like five seconds prior he had just shot someone in front of her? Idk, smh @ me.

BUT APPARENTLY THE FILMMAKERS THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE TOO AND WERE TOTALLY SHIPPING NADIA AND BOB BECAUSE HE TURNS UP TO HER HOUSE AT THE END LIKE "LOL I KNOW YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE ME AGAIN BUT I NEED TO HEAR YOU SAY IT". Yo, did Nadia just agree to go with him because she is a.) TERRIFIED, b.) dumb, c.) desperate/thirsty d.) he's Tom Hardy, or e.) all of the above and also he's Tom Hardy? Prob e. But I am projecting. I wish you two crazy kids the best!!