???: School Daze (1988)

Hmm, not sure what exactly Spike Lee is ever the fuck actually doing. I like some of his films. Malcolm X, Jungle Fever, Do the Right Thing...and a little bit I like She's Gotta Have It. But, like, even with some of his films I do like, I'm often like "wtf??". Like, have you...have you seen Jungle Fever? I don't like that movie because it's good, cuz it's not. It's ridiculous. It's like...if Douglas Sirk did blaxploitation??? Does that sound good to you?? Nooo, right? I mean, interesting, perhaps. But certainly not...good. We're definitely going to stop pretending Spike Lee is superior to Tyler Perry, right? I mean...there's not much difference between their shit and I'm just going to need for Spike Lee to stop acting like he's better than Madea. There's no way you can make a movie like Jungle Fever and think you are doing a less terrible job than him. 

And there's certainly no way you can watch a movie like School Daze and think it's better than a single Tyler Perry production. Tyler Perry and his ginormous head have, at least, never attempted a musical dramedy. At least not on film. I don't want to know about his stage plays - please!!! 

I...for some reason...thought I'd actually like this movie? Like only because of stills from the film I've seen? With Tisha Campbell-Martin and her bleached mane and Giancarlo and his greasy hair parted down the middle. I'm like "yesssss". I had no idea whether or not this production would be any good, and did not particularly care. But it seemed sassy and like it'd be interesting, so I was excited. 

Hoo boy.

I was not aware this was a ~musical comedy~. Can this even be considered a musical? There's like one proper number. And...it is horrendous. It's really bad and so long and I could not wait for it to fucking be over. Like, why was the singing so cringey? And the dancing and shit was all over the place and I'm just like "???". And then they had that...bit with Tisha Campbell and Jasmine Guy and the other one sort of singing...for some school, idk, beauty pageant? I really...just don't understand any of the ~musical bits~ in the film, or why they were necessary. They weren't even good! Tisha Campbell can actually sing, but hoo boy you could not tell by watching this. What a mess. 

Okay and then I guess this is a "comedy"? I did actually laugh at parts, though I can't...I cannot for the life of me remember what I actually...laughed at. Perhaps, the audacity of the film for even existing? Perhaps that.

So the movie is set at a HBC. And it centers around, I guess, two central characters, Julian and Dap. Julian is the head of some creepy ass fraternity, and I guess they're "new blacks". Though I doubt it was called that ~back in the day~. And also they seem too radical to be new blacks. But...I do think that's what Mr. Lee was trying to portray with them. Like the black people who join fraternities and sororities are sell-outs, no? And the real, sort of black power panther mother Africa type of blacks like Dap, don't? They wear dashikis and look down upon lightskins? 

CAN WE TALK ABOUT how Dap is sort of lightskin? Like he's certainly not darkskin. He...just is not. He's like the same shade as Julian, so????? Also, I thought maybe this movie would--the movie does address colorism, but in like the lamest, least-productive way possible, with the lightskin honeys talking shit about the darkskin monkeys, and vice versa. Right? Like...they just have the characters showcasing how blacks can be ignorant and prejudice and it's like...through the women being catty towards each other? S I G H. Just...issues among the black community and within the college setting...just...were not properly addressed in any way. Maybe that wasn't Spike Lee's intention? Like maybe he wasn't trying to teach anything, but just show? Fine. But...then you give me that hilariously embarrassing ending with Dap waking everyone up on campus and actually yelling "WAKE UP!!!" like...he's actually talking to us the audience? Lol he should be talking to whoever's clearly asleep up there in Spike Lee's brain. Like, if this is a ~message~ film, you've gone about it all wrong, baby girl. Spike Lee needs that mailman from Don't Be a Menace to Society While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood. Like, unironically he needs that dude. Mess.

CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT how I would have 100% enjoyed this movie better if it was about Julian and Dap being in love with each other? THE FACT THAT THEY DIDN'T START MAKING OUT AT THE END IS SUCH A HUGELY MISSED OPPORTUNITY AND I AM DISGUSTED. Like they were so clearly in love with each other! It was so obvious!! Remember when Dap approaches Julian in the street when he's with Jane and Dap keeps commenting about Jane being Julian's bodyguard and it's like he's so jealous and just wants to be alone with his boo. 100%, I thought the only reason Julian and Dap had this little beef going on was because they just wanted to fuck. Or, had fucked, but it was weird? Like Dap came too early? Or he wouldn't lick Julian's hairline omg remember when Jane did that fuck I want to throw up this movie is terrible please delete 

Oh, while ~researching~ on imdb for this movie I saw in the sidebar that this movie has been shuffled into some list labeled "The 41 Movies to Watch With Your Black Girlfriend" 

Other such movies on the list include, but are not limited to: The Wiz, Forrest Fucking Gump, The Goddamn Lion King, What's Love Got to Do with It (lol omg jesus), Set It Off (your girlfriend is calling the police at this point, bro), Exit Wounds (????), 2 Fast 2 Furious (¿¿¿¿), Why Did I Get Married? (lol), and The Help. 

Sigh, poor white boy. Good luck, Timmy!!