So over the course of two tired ass days, I made the mistake of watching a handful of comedy specials on Netflix. Sometimes when I'm mad tired but like too tired to sleep? I'll just watch like stand-up shit. I don't know, but please help me.
So on...Tuesday, I finally broke down and watched those new Chappelle stand-ups. I was mad nervous, because he's like my fave, but I haven't seen anything from him in a minute and I was just like oh god...what's this gonna be. Like I see pics of Dave currently and he looks like Bokeem Woodbine's alcoholic uncle-daddy, and for some reason that made me think he fell all the way off in as many ways as one possibly can fall all the fucking way off.
The stand-up specials...weren't impressive. I'm watching and thinking that Dave hasn't really grown. That being said, they made me happy. I like the way he tells stories, so even if the jokes aren't like super hard-hitting or whatever, I am just happy to be along for the ride, so after churning through those two specials I was kinda feeling empty like What Now? (FORESHADOWING!!). Dave has a deal with Netflix, right? Like I heard he had the deal for the specials, but also to do other things? God I hope so. My whining ass needs so much more.
So it's the next day and I feel dead inside. That's usual every day shit for me lol it wasn't really cuz of Dave but let's blame him because he has weed lips :') Okay so I decide to watch Louie CK's newest special. I don't want to like Louie CK, but he...I love him :/ I just do. I LOVE his show. It's my fave type of show: mad pretentious. Like, that's my FAVORITE thing. Do you understand? So I'm pretty happy he exists. But he's like some fat white bald dude, and apparently like half Mexican? Like WTF none of this should be anything I'm here for, you know what I mean? But can we talk about...like okay so I watch his show, right? Louie's dad on the show was Mexican, but I thought it was like how he made his ex-wife black. Him just being all ~artsy~ or whatever. I didn't actually think he in real life had a Mexican dad. Like smh, but if you look like really hard in his face (DON'T) you can kinda see.
So...Louie's stand-up--OKAY. So after Louie I watched Kevin Hart's whole ass stand-up movie smh. He had my barely acting bae Halle and my good acting bae Don Cheeto in it and like special effects and thunder sounds and shit lol and like all I can really think the whole time is...how many times do I have to hear Kevin Hart talk about his son's FLOPS? You know what I mean? You probably don't if you've only seen like...this movie and none of his other stand up. Why have I seen so much Kevin Hart stand-up?? What the fuck am...what the fuck am I doing? When Kevin Hart first was getting big...I guess I was getting into it? You know those specials he had and I think like Shaq or whatever was in the audience? They were funny.. I think around that time prob Katt Williams was my fave (<.<), and like...I would watch Katt stand up and then be depressed because it was over lol so I'd try to satiate myself with Kevin stand-up. Katt is like...Taco Bell. And Kevin is...Great Value...frozen bean burritos? I guess. Like not even meat or anything. Just like two different beans. And it's like...fine. This has protein probably. But Taco Bell will put like a quarter of a teaspoon of what might be pico de gallo on your shit, so, you know? Like a thousand times better. But whatever, Kevin's fine. But now he's like super-huge and...i don't know. Katt's funnier, but because he won't let some illuminati crow-man peg him with a pogo-stick that has Swarovski crystals on it, he can't be Great? Lame.
Louie's stand-up, of the three dudes, was the strongest. Most concise and overall funniest. Y'all can't be out here letting this halfxican be funnier than you. It's wrong and uncomfortable-making for everyone. But I'll give Kevin a pass maybe. Didn't before he became a ~funnyman~ he used to work at Foot Locker? Most people who've worked at Foot Locker don't ever get to be described as someone who "used" to work there. It seems you live and die in that striped shirt, you know? So Kevin, who is like the size of a fucking Lego Man, has come pretty far. So I'm not gonna come for him too much. He still corny tho lol.
The one off-thing for me with Louie's stand-up was the voices. None of that needed to be happening. And I mean none of it. But I still laughed, so what are we really doing here? Dave had wayyyy more off bits in his sets. Like, a lot lol. But I liked his the best idk!!! What I liked the mostest about all three of them were the jokes about their kids. I feel it's the strongest material they have, maybe? I don't know, it just is for me. Like my fave thing Dave did was the bit about him and his son going to see Kevin. He coulda did like thirty minutes on that and I would have been perfectly happy. Even Kevin, who seems repeaty about his kids, especially his son - like those are his best bits, so I can see why he sticks to them. Though I also really liked the Starbucks thing, but that needed some cleaning up.
It was weird though to watch Kevin's stand-up, after Dave and Louie's. Like kind of an awkward chasm of like....talent? Idk. Kevin is just...extra corny and extra-extra lol. Like it's funny sometimes but he taking it too far, I think? Or...The People, I guess? With hyping him. But they love it, so what can you say lol idk. It's fine. But can we talk about Dave's ~jealousy~~~~~~~?????? Like...he was the biggest. And then he gave it all up. LIKE, miss me with tryna complain about Key & Peele, you know? No one told you to sprint your goofy looking ass to Africa. If shit was getting weird, he shoulda stayed his ass here and unweirded it. He's whack, and if he ends up on Dancing with the Stars imma laugh, and then be upset that I'll have to watch the show. I've never seen one episode of that show because the title is a lie. Call me when you got fuckin uhhhhhhhh Meryl Streep or some shit up there. But anyway, let's just all be happy Carlos Mencia stopped happening. And I think Dane Cook did, too. Very good, everyone.
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