Breezy (1973)

This movie could've been way worse than it was. Just going off the plot summary I read, "Breezy is a teen-aged hippy with a big heart. After taking a ride with a man who only wants her for sex, Breezy manages to escape. She runs to hide on a secluded property where stands the home of a middle-aged divorced man, Frank Harmon. Frank reluctantly takes Breezy in only to fall unexpectedly in love with her.", this could've gone very, very wrong. Not, like, he rapes and kill her wrong. But just, old dude creeps on a vulnerable, dippy little girl, wrong. You know? It very seemed like the type of movie a man would make, and I was rolling my goddamn eyes before I even saw the film. Why, then, did I proceed to watch it? Because hate fuels me, darling. Hate fuels me. 

However, I almost was completely non-disgusted watching this. It was actually a cute ass little movie. I credit that to William Holden and Kay Lenz. I think...the script wasn't perfect. It was actually a little twee, a little arrogant, and a lot ridiculous. But William Holden and Kay Lenz played their characters really well and were likable and cute despite the fact that manic pixie hippie girl and old, grumpy bachelor aren't really...totally...known for being, like, charming roles to play. Like the old bachelor is always a douche and the manic pixie hippie is totally cringey every time. But here Holden and Lenz make these 2D characters not grating at all and that was totally full-tit boogie, man. (sorry). I mean, Kay Lenz at one point is wearing like skin tight brown velvet bellbottoms and she looks totally cute. SINCE WHEN EVER HAS ANYONE EVER LOOKED CUTE IN THAT MONSTROSITY I JUST DESCRIBED?? And Billy Holden is like old as fuck but mad sexy anyway??? However I was def disgusted at one point when they were about to ~make love~. Which is why up there I had said almost completely not-disgusted. Kay Lenz is supposed to be like eighteen or some shit in this movie. And William Holden is a fucking thousand. No, girl. But soooo cute when at the end William Holden goes to get her at the park and he's like "I'll give it a year" about their relationship and Kay Lenz (ugh, Breezy) gets all excited like, "Wow, a whole year!". She's like the cutest thing ever and I want to die and this movie was cute even though it made me feel weird and uncomfortable, but whatever, the seventies, right?? Viva la vie!! (lol does that mean anything? Also I think that might be more than one language. Like, french and spanish and maybe italian??? Avant guard.) 

Random thoughts (shut up this whole blog and your whole life is a random thought smh): 

-Roger C. Carmel as Frank's "friend" Bob Henderson was...I can't decide if I loved or hated him. Like, he was the worst, always going on about how he wished he could cheat on his wife but was too afraid, and just in general being hugely irritating. However, I thought he was really funny. Like when his wife makes some snarky comment to him at a party and he turns to Frank all loud like, "SPEAKING OF BITCHES!" - I screamed. That shit was so funny and he was a mess. 

-What is Clint's opinion on hippies? It's so weird to watch any Hollywood film where hippies feature prominently, because you know no actual hippie ever had enough money or clout to make their own shit and tell their own story. So sometimes you get movies from pretend hippies like those Easy Rider guys who make movies representing their ~squad~ and showing the folks in the flyover states what it's like to live off the grid and wear patchouli oil or whatever. With Breezy I couldn't tell, though, if Clint was like one of those fake-hippies, or if he was already full-tit Republican boogieing at this point and identified more with the William Holden character. I guess he was trying to take no sides, though? Especially when William Holden barely resists Breezy at all and eventually takes to her completely. Though he still sort of throws shade at how she lives and the people she knows, so idk. No, I think he was trying to tell the story from an objective standpoint. Because eventho negative criticisms about the hippie lifestyle are brought up a lot, the entire character of Breezy sort of...she's like rubber and those opinions are glue, for the most part, and just what she represents and how she behaves is so optimistic and positive that I don't see Clint trying to paint a bad image of that lifestyle. But also I don't see him supporting it, either, what with the criticisms being sort of valid and her character never, like, converting William Holden. Having him wear like moccasins and shit or whatever. But maybe this movie is totally anti-hippie because...doesn't William Holden like save her at the end? No...no, right? She totally saved him! Sigh if only I were dead and could just finally stop trying to utilize the lint ball I have for a brain. Final answer: Clint is team no one. I think that much is obvious.

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This was so cute and I would have cried had I not lost the ability to long ago due to numbing and rot of the soul

But, ayo, what was up with the dog's face the entire movie? He was mad shocked and confused every time the camera went to him like, "WHERE THE FUCK AM I HELP ME HELLO1!!!!??!!?" 

Like...at one point he is panic-faced and literally trying to escape from William Holden's house. Slip this beast some doggie xanax, asap. 

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Is that Clint Eastwood? Lol, who does he think he is - Alfred Hitchcock or any other director who inserts a cameo of themselves into their movie? Hmm???

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Remember when Frank was brushing cotton candy off Breezy's tit and that little boy was watching with like a sickened look on his face?? I am he and he is me.

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