The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds (1972)

For some reason I was expecting this to be really terrible. Or, not terrible, because nothing Joanne Woodward is involved in could ever be terrible - it's just...I had some idea of this movie, that wasn't...like a good one. I thought it'd be one of those insane movies from the seventies that sort of exploit women while accidentally giving them good roles to play but yet the movies are really horrible and wrong and bad??? Do you know those types of movies??? Like A Woman Under the Influence remixed with like...Trog diluted with Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? smashed into The Baby??? 

You know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds isn't that. Whatever that is. This movie is almost...like...masterpieceish?? Like it's really good. Joanne Woodward is insane and horrible and super-funny and she delivers an amazing performance and I'm just sitting here watching this like "Wtf?" - like amazed it's really great and I'm having a good time? Because, like, so many movies are terrible and I watch so many and I get so. tired. of badness, you know? So I just go in every time expecting, at least, much mediocrity. Sometimes I get surprised and it's only a little mediocrity, with some good bits thrown in. But Gamma Rays was turned the fuck up from beginning to end and I was just...sigh, really glad. 

So my queen Joanne plays this woman named Beatrice Hunsdorfer. In high school they used to call her Betty "The Loon" Frank. Lol, um, were you even trying? Come on. And it's SO FUNNY when later in the film her daughter Ruth is mocking Betty by yelling the high school nickname at her. She's all "Betty the Loon!! Betty the Loon!!" which...for some reason?...upsets Betty? Lol that nickname is mad dumb and who's still hung up on some shit that happened in high school - like Betty is at least in her forties?? But I guess it's totally so Betty to still be hung up on high school shit, and it's just...so small town mentality in general, I guess? And she's clearly insecure and unhappy about her station in life and so I guess it makes sense but omg that nickname is so unimaginative and not even really hurtful. Like, maybe they were just calling her a "loon" cuz she wore those feathers?? 

Speaking of wearing feathers. So, like, I love Betty. Well...sigh, up until she murders that bunny and just...her whole disrespect of Matilda in general really pissed me off. Okay, so, what was her deal with Matilda? It was because Matilda was smart, right? Wow I'm clearly not Matilda because I'm just sitting here stating the obvious like it's some huge revelation. Totally, she's jealous of Matilda's bright future. Like, Matilda's gonna go get that sweet STEM degree and get the fuck out of that town and Betty knows it and is being a hater. Which is...sad. Why are you like this, Betty? Nurture and encourage Matilda so she'll break you off a piece of that ca$h mone¥ rocket scientist moola in the future! Or at least she'll buy you a nice, cozy room in an old folks' home. Are you even thinking?! You're driving both of your kids away and they're like...the only people you have on Earth so like hello?? 

Betty was nicer to Ruth, tho. Why? Because Ruth is more likely to get pregnant and stay home and force Betty to help raise her horrible children? So, maybe that's why Betty shades Matilda? Cuz she has that guarantee Ruth will always be around? I'm trying to figure out what...Betty's motivations were for going to the science fair. Like...did she genuinely want to be there for Matilda, or...was it about--Like she was so worried about what she would say and how she would wear her hair or whatever and it's like...it's not about you. So I'm confused if she was just nervous about being seen so publicly when her self-esteem is quite low but genuinely wanted to support Matilda, or...mmmmmmm idk because she did not support Matilda at all when she was growing the flowers, so it's hard to get in the mind-frame that she was just going to see her daughter present a project she didn't even care about. Like it was all about The Betty Show and sigh why do I always love super-horrible characters? WHO KILLS THEIR KID'S PET RABBIT?! Like, you're making it really hard for me to stan for you Betty, come on. 

So anyway good job Paul Newman. This shit was poppin' and on point and like wow you should've directed super more. With this and Rachel, Rachel...like it's clear you had talent. But more importantly, you had a great muse in Joanne and ugh it's just super cute for a husband to be directing his wife in stuff and it's mad good. I'm never reading any autobiographies written on them - I'm 100% certain it'll ruin these movies for me. Like they'll talk about how Paul snapped at Joanne or something or like she asked for a diet coke and he was like "ugh get it yourself". I don't want to know that Joanne Woodward likes Diet Coke. Also I'm thinking I shouldn't watch the version of The Glass Menagerie they did together? Like there's a good chance it might be bad and then I'll have to feel weird about being GOOD DIRECTING P. NEW! This is the first and last time I'll refer to Paul Newman as...P. New...

Anyway, I took some screenshots while watching this shit. They're shitty cuz I watched this on youtube. Don't sleep on youtube movies. They have all kinds of crazy shit on there ugh look watch everything get pulled. Pretty sure the first rule of youtube movies is don't talk about youtube movies sigh. Okay, but real quick: Why is their daughter named Nell Potts??...

Their house is mad disgusting and Beatrice is shout-out for advertising a room in that dump. Why is everything like, brown? It's all inhospitable and shit lol she's a mess. 

This was when Beatrice and Ruth were looking across at that old woman in the window. This was so funny because Beatrice is like "She's been sitting in the exact same spot for three days! She never moves!" I was dying because I assumed it'd turn out she was dead and then the camera flashes to the old woman and I'm screaming because she looks honestly deceased and then she moves and like...the disappointment in Betty is soooo funny. Just...this whole bit was way too amusing and I guess it was the point I decided I was in love with this movie? Or was I already in love at the beginning when Joanne was trying on those wigs in the store - I just didn't know it yet? How did this movie get no Oscar love? Smh the academy is fucking useless 

Betty bothering this neighbor dude was so cringey. I'm just like "stoppppppp". And omg when they were tossing that ratty ass wig back and forth - omg, Betty, please! She's so tragic sometimes. (Sometimes??) And I love how him rejecting her advances makes him a "homo" in Betty's mind. Lol, like yeah, he's not into you - must be a queerbo. Who flirts with a dude by weirdly trying to force him to try on some gross dollar store wig you bought?! You have NO GAME, Betty, that's the problem. Though, he could be a homo. I mean, Betty might be hard-up, but...she's still pretty hot in that robe - what's he playin' at?? 

Nell Potts is really cute and looks exactly like her parents (UM, DUH!!!). She plays shy too well - I wonder if that was just her in real life? I wonder why her name is Nell Potts. Also can we talk about how I thought her teacher was gonna start molesting her? This movie actually turned out to be way more depressing than I thought it was gonna be, but I'm glad the teacher actually seemed to not be a creep eventho there was definitely that weird moment of him telling one of the students to "close the door" so he could start...touching them? Idk, I think I blanked most of that memory out. Mostly he was supportive and a good teacher!! 

I should've known Betty was gonna kill that rabbit when she spilled beer on it in this scene. It was so casual and for no reason. Why do you hate bunnies, Betty? 

This was when "Nanny" moved in and Betty was screaming at top volume in her face. Omg Joanne  Woodward was so funny here. "Want some water and honey, Nanny?!" or whatever she was shouting directly into this old woman's eyeballs. Idk, but I was in tears - she is a true piece of mess. Also why does honey and water sound so depressing? Because it is? Like at least...make it tea and honey? Come on, Nanny, have some standards. And what was up with Eli Wallach in a wig and her thing about the old people? I guess cuz they always died in the house?

Joanne killing me endlessly in this movie. Her loud talking to Nanny and being like "who ever thought i'd be feeding water and honey to a zombie" omg and then "reading" Nanny her cards. I love how excited Nanny got when Betty gave her a good reading. Ugh, I love this movie so much???

Are the dead old people...why Eli Wallach in a wig had those seizures? It looks like she was suffering from PTSD but also epilepsy? Does one trigger or off-set the other?? It seemed like...idk. She definitely had this real fear of old people near-death, but I'm wondering where that came from? I guess just being afraid of death in general? Oh, and the dad died - maybe that has something to do with it? If you're really afraid and you have epilepsy, does your stress trigger an attack? I guess? I mean, Google is your friend, dummy. 

This was funny and Ruth is a mess. Apple from tree, etc.? But omg when Beatrice figured out Ruth had basically been mocking her at school...like I felt bad for Betty. But at the same time it's like her own fault? I mean, like it's her own fault her kid would go to school and mock her. Like, duh, of course any kid of hers would. But I also feel like she should feel...flattered. She's dynamic and interesting enough of a personality for her kid to...act as her in theater class? Sounds pretty cool. I mean, you can't get Mommie Dearest without being a crazed harridan, you know? Well behaved women...rarely make history...???

What was this from, why did I cap this? lol ummmm maybe when she was on the phone with Matilda's teacher? She was going off on that nigga and I felt pleasured in my body. I also loved her earlier phone scenes when she was trying to sell shit. I can't believe someone gave Beatrice one of those phone jobs. Clearly there wasn't much of an interview lol she's all crass and aggressive with the potential customers. Gpoy, tho. 

What was this weird ass girl's name? I forgot but the fact that everyone at school thought she like skinned a cat and boiled it alive was funny. She was all "contrary to popular belief, the cat was already dead before I did a bunch of weird shit to it" and then she like...giggled or smirked or?? This little bitch was weird. Look at that cat skeleton. She totally boiled it alive.

Yo. I really...I really thought this was so fucking funny. How you gon' just drop the old bitch off?Especially when the dude said Nanny's daughter was not even home, but in Atlantic City? Betty's like, "Tell her daughter to take care of her!". The landlord dude is like "She's gone for a month! Take this old bitch back!! You're scaring me - I'll call the health department!!!" Like in real life this entire situation is horrifying and terrible but omfg if I did not get my entire life. And then Betty there in her like glittery turban - jesus, perfection. 

What was the quote? "My heart is full of love" or something? Was Betty being fake or did she genuinely mean it? Both? It was like she was preparing for an acceptance speech before the science fair, and then when she gets there on the actual day, drunk and late as fuck, she says it and...idk it just seemed real and like she meant it. But I think maybe any true, pure intentions were cancelled out by the fact that she was drunk...and late? And also prior had just killed Matilda's bunny??? Hmm...

:/ I was so upset! I'm not even an animal lover I think animals are gross and spawns of the devil, but, ugh. And poor Matilda. How could you be so cruel to her I don't get it she's so quiet and well-behaved. Like, I could see if Betty killed something of Ruth's lol, but sweet angel Matilda? SHE SCRATCHED YOUR BACK FOR YOU, BETTY, YOU BITCH! 

Oh that was my last cap. I couldn't take a screenshot of anything going on in the very ending. It got real dark, real quick. Lol what am I talking about when I took a cap of Matilda finding her murdered pet on her goddamned bed? Like, please. But it got even sadder when she slowly walked outside with the corpse and like gently laid it down before Betty? THAT FUCKING KILLED ME ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS MOVIE. AND THEN IT JUST ENDED WITH MATILDA SITTING SOMBERLY ON THE STAIRS?!?! Wtf it's so sad. But like really good. 10/10 would recommend.