Brotherly Love (2015)

Lol um, wow.

Wow, just wow lol. 

Wait, look:

Julito, bae, why you look like this?? SMH WHEN CORY HARDRICT OR ONE OF THEM OTHER ONES WAS LIKE "THAT FAT NIGGA FROM THE STREET HERE" OR SOMETHING I SCREAMED UNTIL I THREW UP AND DIED. Why is ponytail bae all bloated-like? What did Pooch do to you on the set of Miracle's Boys, Julito, huh? It's okay, you can say. This is a safe space. I mean...will I roast you for getting molested by Pooch Hall? Girl, yes. Who wouldn't roast you for that?? But I will also love and protect you. Loljk why did I start off my "review" for this movie roasting your chubbiness like I'm mad ugly, horrible, and dark-sided. But at least I am not Pooch Hall. 

Can we talk about these other cameos by black boys who populated my TV screen in my youth? Fucking...Little JJ (why did i think he was dead?), Lil Romeo (why do I want him to be??), that boy from Get Rich or Die Tryin' (never saw but he was in other shit)...who else? Was that it? Okay so four niggas who'd be on my TV and shit when I was young/a teen. Now they around my age and I'm honestly surprised they are all still alive and/or not Orlando Brown. Like okay Julito might look like Faizon's Love afternoon dump, but he is not that music video Orlando Brown did where he dresses up as a homeless person/himself while rap-singing about running a train on some stripper his brother may/may not have been engaged to. Julito, compared to that mess, is doing very well, a huge success. I just spelled success wrong. I spelled it sucess. Yet I'm trying to drag a nigga with a better ponytail than mine, who got to act alongside iconic actor Pooh Hall in a made for TV miniseries that aired at like 2 o'clock in the morning non-stop one summer on The-N. Who do I honestly think I am??? 

Smh what is this bitch ass movie about? Some cliché mess. Keke Palmer some chick and she in school getting her grades up or whatever. She got some hoe ass friends, one of them was a Bratz Doll I think? Like in one of those Bratz movies or something? Idk but they ratchet and bad influences. Fast-forward to Keke meeting Quincy B. Sure and falling instantly in love with his luscious lightskint ass. CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW RIGHT AWAY IT WAS OBVIOUS HE WAS A SNAKE??? HE WAS ALL OBVIOUS ABOUT IT. LIKE WHY WAS HE JUST SITTIN THERE IN THE LIBRARY LIKE THAT NOT READIN NO BOOKS OR NOTHING?? NIGGA STRAIGHT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS JUST WAITING FOR KEKE. AND THEN HIM ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT HER BROTHER AND THAT TIME HE LEFT HER HANGING ON THE CORNER BY HERSELF TALKING ABOUT HE WAS BUSY AND THEN HAD SOME CONVENIENT OH I WAS SETTIN UP THE STUDIO EXCUSE. lol maybe I should chill on the caps BUT I WAS FUCKING SCREAMING WHEN HE WAS ABOUT TO KILL CORY AND DID HIS LITTLE SPEECH ABOUT REVENGE OR WHATEVER AND WAS LIKE "I DIDN'T PLAN ON FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUR SISTER". Lol if this movie don't post its pic and go!! 

Lol like I don't even feel like explaining the movie or talking about this mess because it was highkey dumb all the way through. Keke...sigh. She got two bros. One is that cute boy Vee had killed on OITNB, he plays her twin. He's like a basketball star blah blah but he robbing people's homes like bitch where. Fucking stupid. And then the older brother is ~taking care of the family~ by selling drugs and shit, like he fucking really doing something. How do you have like all your money in a shoebox in the basement? Yew smart.

Real talk, Cory Hardrict and Eric D. Hill Jr. were giving me acting. Macy Gray as well. Though this movie was dumb as fuck and making me cringe far too much, they were bringing it in the acting department. Not like, SO MUCH. It's just...their capable performances were like glaring flood lights amidst the dreck. So...that was nice? Girl I guess. But anyway can someone please tell me why they hyped up a ~Teyana Taylor cameo~? Like it said "cameo by Teyana Taylor" and she was legit like...an extra? ¿Cómo Sway? What is happening in the world? Why cum June was at the high school dance? Why cum there was only like thirteen kids in the whole school?? How cum they was hypin Sergio to win prom king or whatever? That would've been awkward had he won it alongside the prom queen, his sister. And like...why did Quincy win? Cuz he lightskin? Fair enough. (ha). No but...why June was smashing that high school chick??? He looked old as hell... They had a fucking kid and everything wtf

Aight I took some screenshots. It was really hard for me to not screenshot this entire mess, but I just wanted to pay attention and ~get absorbed~ in the story. lol HUGE MISTAKE!!! 

idk

This was so cute lol they were gay as fuck. I can't remember but I'm pretty sure Romeo kept saying mad suspect shit to Sergio lol like he was on some lowkey nigga I'm tryna fleet or whatever the gay nigga lingo is these days :')

These screencaps DO NOT CAPTURE how fucking uncomfortable June's weird ass speech was. Spesh when he was talking about Jackie. Talking bout how sexy and shit she is and how she never give him any problems (obedient). June was MAD CREEPY the whole movie. I guess it was supposed to come off like he was an over-protective big brother? lol all I was getting was Cesare Borgia teas. So...good job??? 

lol the jacket

Al B. Sure's son killing me softly trying 2 be all hard or whatever lol. I HATED him playing Rico Suave all throughout the movie, then they wanted to have him turn up at the end spraying a plethora of bullets into Tia Mowry's husband. Girl, okay. Miss me with both characterizations. I'm not accepting anything but comedy from him after Dope, so fix it cheezus. 

Try harder!!!!

This is a blank screen. I, vainly, attempted to capture Keke Palmer fucking singing "Wake Up Everybody" at the end credits. NO, I'M SERIOUS!! SHE WAS DOING HER OWN SHITTY VERSION OF THE SONG AND THAT'S HOW THEY PLAYED THE MOVIE OFF I'M NOT JOKING WATCH THIS MESS AND SEE FOR YOURSELF AND SCREAM AND CRY AND, FINALLY, AT LONG LAST!!!, cease to exist. xoxo, gossip girl.