The Intimate Lover (2005)

Um. What was...? This movie was really annoying and I honestly regret watching it. I actually started a bit of it one day and was like "sigh, no" and shut it off and went to watch something less...damaging to my soul. I hate not finishing a movie I start, though. Like so many times I cannot deal, but I always think about the movies I never finish, like they haunt me. Why couldn't I just finish the last horrible forty minutes of Blade Runner, huh? Maybe it got better! I doubt it but maybe! Or that black remix of About Last Night. There's almost NO WAY IN HECK that improved, but tbh, I only gave it like five minutes. Maybe Kevin Hart gets shot in the sixth minute AND I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I DIDN'T FINISH IT! smh

Idk what it was about The Intimate Lover that made me return the next day like *eyeroll* "fine", but I did! And I wish I hadn't :')!!! And so it goes. 

The movie concerns some ugly-souled individuals named "Girl" and "Boy" SIGHKILLME!! The girl is engaged and to be married soon, to, OF COURSE, some nigga she on even like. I am so tired of watching things with people getting married to someone they don't love/lowkey hate. I can't tell if I am just naive about the world or what but like I just want to stop being confused and ask-yelling at my screen why the flip a person would be getting married to someone THEY DO NOT LIKE! I understand sometimes it's like a financial thing or an arranged marriage shit or whatever, but most of the time when I am watching these stories in media, it aint none of that. It's just a boring bitch getting married to some boring dude, just because! Then some sparkly nigga enter the boring bitch's life and all of a sudden she wanna get bold and decide she don't want Arthur, she want Criss Angel Mindfreak. Whatever lol. 

In this mess, Girl is engaged to some like horrible conservative-type dude who was giving me wife-beater teas. You can tell he a demon cuz he wear glasses. Also, he was like, boxy. He was not sexy like "Boy" and his karate body lol. Girl's fiancé looked thick, like he be eatin' noodles all day and shit. Drinking mad soju. Boy's homeless ass aint got the funds to be eating and drinking like that lol, so he perform karate tricks in the park for money, but cuz he live in Asia, aint no one impressed by that shit; errbody do karate, so he don't make no money. But he stay mad fit though. BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT BOY'S LACK OF FUNDS?!

He was homeless, right? lol it was mad awkward. Why did they highlight his money problems? Where were they going with that? Were we supposed to be like "oh, this prob why Girl don't want him, cuz he poor"? But idk, it seemed pretty obvious she didn't want him...because she would like really love him maybe? And now let's unpack that!! Or let's not, because, tbh, I am--I'm sure it's pretty obvious I'm extremely slow. Just not smart, so I have no complete, clear idea why someone would turn down being with someone they could have a really intense love affair with. I mean, I get it. But also not. Like, I don't have the academic explanation for that. Just for me personally I could understand being like "eh, that sounds exhausting, lemme not". But like, isn't it equally exhausting to be with a dude who is mad boring and wears ugly glasses and makes you want to die??? 

And what was that warm water thing? Boy got Girl some warm water at the restaurant and she was all "You messed up by ordering me some warm water, if you hadn't have done that, we could be together" or something akin to that. And I was like "Bitch, que?". What was him getting her warm water - too considerate? Did this ugly bitch just like being disrespected and non-cared for??? BUT LET'S NOT EVEN ACT LIKE BOY WAS A GOOD BOYFRIEND OPTION BECAUSE REMEMBER WHEN HE RAPED HER????? Oh, are we gonna forget about that? Or is that okay cuz this a k drama and that's just what happens? Lol, deleet this whole shit. Start anew. 

Keep this^, tho. Brotherman was fly. The one thing you did right in this movie and it was lowkey prob an accident. He was just some nigga sittin on the steps when you happened to be filming. Make a whole movie about the mistake you made not giving this random street person any lines, or putting up on the screen where we could get his outfit.