So I initially didn't know if I was going to watch Atlanta. I was like hmmmm is this some douchey black blipster bs?? And I decided yes it was but idk there's like a lot of black people, the most important one being my son and the love of my life, Keith Stanfield, so I was like okay whatever lemme watch this. And I almost decided to watch Catfish over this? Like an old episode of Catfish? But I only turned it on because I thought there was a chance it was a ~black~ episode but as soon as I saw a white bitch I clicked it immediately off and decided to watch the first three episodes of this and honestly I have no regrets. I am shocked and flummoxed, ngl.
So this shit comes from Donald Glover, whom in my head I have a sort of like/hate relationship with. It started leaning more toward like recently when he grew that sexy ass beard, but then people brought up some weird possible Asian fetish shit with him lol so it went back to leaning more towards hate again but then I was like whatever maybe Donald is fake blasian and honestly who cares. Like I just couldn't forget those pics of him in a turtleneck and shorts carrying a grocery bag lol so tbh I forgave him of most of his sins and was like fine I'll watch his little show.
I like really like this so far?? I mean, it's kinda cliché with the whole rapping and drugs angle. But it also is set in Atlanta. It could be more cliché. This show could just be strictly about bussy-snatching and whoever straps NeNe Leakes' back on. Donald chose to focus on the second most cliché thing about Atlanta and that's probably thanks to his ~alternative~ pedigree. Don't do the most obvious do the second most obvious one cuz different~*~.
Can we talk about Migos? lol, no - too soon.
So anyway cliché! But fine, I guess? What else do people do in Atlanta? Are there lawyers there? Sure, but prob all the lawyers there sell drugs and make trap albums so honestly any show set in Atlanta would ultimately circle back to drugs and rapping and shit so what was Donald supposed to do? Give Keith Stanfield more lines??? Yes, that one.
So D-Glove plays some nigga named Earnest Marks (omgruserious) and he's a bum and a loser but at least he still has that amazing fucking beard OH MY GOD. Apparently Earnest dropped out of Princeton or some shit and now he works at the airport and A-plus on that very specific Atlanta thing. Earn...also has a kid?? And a babymama?? But she's his...friend or something? He doesn't live with her and is technically homeless but sometimes she lets him stay there?? And they fuck sometimes I guess and she's all "tell me u love me" but he laughs and she gets mad?????
CAN WE TALK about this awkward/weird ass relationship? So his bum ass just decided to have a kid? For some reason I was thinking the kid was planned but idk if they ever said in the show. Probably not because what kinda bum is like okay yeah let's have a kid with no kind of income or foreseeable future where, like, he has shit to offer his child?? The whole set-up is weird as fuck. And also...are we supposed to be shipping Earn and his babymoms? Because I do not. The chemistry is not there to me. Like ignoring how she thinks he's a total loser and terrible father - they're just not clicking for me. But...maybe a big thing won't be Earn's love life? But eugh I feel like it will be and I will getting more of this that I don't want :') But it might make for good tv down the line idk I'll wait.
Okay so let's talk about Earn being a bum! What's his plan? Why...hmmm. Didn't he just out of nowhere decide to become Paper Boi's manager when he saw a video of his on Youtube?? What the fuck was Earn planning to do before he found out his cousin made music?? Like was he just meandering about at the airport twiddling his thumbs waiting for a life plan to fall out of the sky for him? Well good idea because his non-sensical patiently waiting for his life to happen actually worked maybe and now maybe something is poppin off maybe but what the fuck bro you have a kid lol what t f u cq
So it's mad douchey of Earn to just show up to jump on his cousin's bandwagon, no? You haven't seen him in years but all of a sudden it's hey let's make money??? Like. Under no circumstance do I like Earnest lol. Like...bruh. If I was Paper Boi I woulda been like foh and he basically did but then Earn got his song on the radio so I guess it's all good. Fine. But I woulda kept paying him dust. Do his dusty ass need more dust? No, but he would be getting it.
Can we talk about that jail shit? Loved it. It was kinda dreamy? Like Earn died and went to Heaven and Heaven basically is a jail...waiting room? Sounds legit. That scene showed a lot of ACTING, you know? And everyone was black and I just really loved it. Lots of characters. Actually, obviously, this whole show is just full of black and ACTING and ~*~characters~*~ and I am fucking living. Like this is great lol. Is the bar so low for me that all I care about is BLACK? Nah, because if that was the case I'd still be watching Empire. Lol actually.............DIDN'T I STOP WATCHING CUZ THEY PUT ALL THOSE LATINOS UP THERE??? No!! IT WAS CUZ OF BAD STORYTELLING!!!! AND SHITTINESS!! Atlanta has a ton of blacks and is like actually good?? Nice. Very nice but lemme not speak too soon but tbh I feel this show will only get better? I'm really excited. For now.
Can we talk about when Earn tried to order a kids meal? Few things:
1. There's this shit called the dollar menu.
2. Where do they tell you you can't order a kids meal? Lol that would never happen. And if it did you could just lie and say it was for a kid? I'm not at all speaking from personal experience constantly ordering kids meals even though I am a full adult halfway-human person :')
3. Also no one cares if you steal soda from the fountain, and certainly not the mop bitch. The mop bitch at any fast food place is too busy thinking of how she's gonna come thru later and shoot everyone up please believe she is not worried about you stealing fucking fanta when you only have a water cup lol come on
Can we talk about Earn's mom and dad talking about the turd he left in their toilet bowl? His mom fucking talking about he need to improve his diet and Earn asking her if she broke it up druncirncirnchrbfhbehc. I decided I loved this show just from that. When will I be released from purgatory??
Can we talk about bae Darius? UM HE IS AMAZING I LOVE HIM PLEASE GIVE BAE MORE LINES WTF. Like wtf he be talking about I am truly living. Him calling his gun Daddy is so #me and #iconic and I just want to know his entire backstory immediately but no whatever it's fine if you slow burn it I GUESS. Lol watch he turn out to be from rich pedigree or he manage like three Chipotles please I am dying here making up shitty backstory for him HURRY. UP!
Can we talk about that weird intense ass dude telling Paper Boi if he doesn't make it or something he don't know what he'll do?? Lol wtf was he threatening him that was weird as shit. Can we talk about Paper Boi (no one reads this blog)? I feel like I like him? Like he seems cool? And I feel like I'm going to be feeling bad for him the more he blows up? Because he just raps to make money, right? But it's gonna be another thing when he's like a celebrity?? Idk how this'll go but I see him struggling with blowing up. But I wonder with him blowing up how Earn'll be. Fingers crossed his ass will be a fucking mess. Omg he is gonna be so awful I'm fucking excited lol
Wait but can we talk about this idea that Earn is a ~loser~?? Can we talk about how I keep asking if we can talk about something like you run this shitty blog you can talk about whatever you want besides what happened to David Miscavige's wife obviously that's off-limits but LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE!
but sigh anyway kill me. I feel some type of way about Earn talking about winners/losers while holding his daughter in his arms. It was a little tone deaf to me? To me having a family is winning? Like that's cool? You have people that love you? Lol am I being super-sad? Idk like I would think being a dad would be a winning thing. And mos def should be a huge motivator for you in terms of making your life even better? Isn't it winning to even have that motivation? Idk it seems like Earn views winning as having money and this kind of superficial success of having like a visible, enviable career?? Which idk... Like if you don't feel you're winning now when you have some really good things, you're never going to feel like you're winning. Like I get where he is coming from but at the same time I wish he would be less obtuse?? Like at a certain point wake up? But I guess he's supposed to be how he is which is kind of...like a mess lol. Just a goddamn mess. Would I want to watch this if he had his shit together in literally any category? Yes because Keith Stanfield is in this and this is a Keith Stanfield stanfield blog. I'm...not gonna say this again :)
Wait but can we talk about shut up omg that white boi? I saw caps of this scene on tumblr before I watched the show and I rolled my eyes?? Because why this white boy saying nigga and D-money's character is not responding by tossing a box of Nerds in his eyes and then hara-kiring him with a rusty butter knife in his throat??? But then I was like ohh haaaa when Earn made him tell the story again later in front of Paper Boi and Darius and I was like okay fine, nice. Lol. That white boi was shook and I live for shook white bois. Wow that's really sad I gotta make some changes...
...How much did that dinner cost that Earn and his lady had?? She was ordering market fish specials and shit but I coulda sworn Earn had like sixty-something dollars in his account?? That meal seemed at least a hundred dollars? Look idk anything about restaurants I don't even have a verified Paypal account so please but that shit sounded like a lot of money. What was Paper Boi's twenty dollars sposed to do?? Smh but okay girl I guess.
Can we talk about Migos? I was so...intrigued. Like I knew the trap dudes were some known niggas but idk bout that trap music shit. I know Fetty Wap? But only cuz he don't got an eye, you know? Like I don't listen to that shit. But I could tell the trap dudes Paper Boi and Darius were meeting for the drug deal were like ~~faymuhz~~. And when they said they were Migos (as in amigos??? YALL ARE FUCKING BUGGIN!!) I was like "oh". I don't even really know Migos? I just know they exist. And now sigh I am intrigued sigh. I am resisting so hard going to download some of their songs I just really am not about that trap music life don't try to lure me into this shit I am a bougie black okay Iol smh I am literally more of a loser than Earn how r u more of a loser than a nigga named Earnest. Sigh, there's no way I'd be able to produce a sizable turd on a shitty processed food diet. He a real one for that :/
lol but wait why migos just kill that dude in the woods i'm screamingthey r ea lly kill ed t h a t d u d e
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