So for some reason I randomly reviewed like ep 5 or something of this shit, so I guess I should make another post talking about the final half of the season. Literally no one asked for this, or cares :')
Okay, who was left after that last ep? Britney (Derrick's balding ass), Thorgy (ugh), Bob, Naomi, Kim Chi, and Chi Chi, right? Is that it? Literally if there is someone else I can't remember they went home immediately cuz they are obvi irrelevant. But no I think that's it. Because that episode was the smear campaign one and three groups of two and anyway kill me.
So Thorgy went home that ep. I can't believe...Derrick made it so far in the competition. I'm lowkey disgusted with RuPaul and co for being so thirsty for his Britney impersonating bs lol like is it really that serious. He's not the Chad Michaels of Britney impersonators you know what I mean? Like how many bitches do Britney on the strip? Is it even that hard? All you have to do is look like her. So, like, be white and wear a blonde wig????????? Like it's never that serious and I disagree with Thorgy going home before Derrick. EVEN THOUGH Thorgy was like mad annoying???? Pretty sure that's why they sent her ass home lol like she was just...doing the most. But not in an appealing way like Bob. A white bitch with dreads is just never not gonna make everyone want them to die...
So we get a ~~Top 5~~!! Top 5 was the ep with my Sedaris baes, oui? YES!! I love Amy and David Sedaris and I hate this show so fucking much for giving me eVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED!! The only thing that made me sad face emoji was that Amy and David weren't seated next to each other. Like, COME ON. Anyway buy Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls on iTunes.
So that ep Derrick went home even though he shoulda BEEN went home. Like please. Then top four was like...the most perfect top four in Drag Race history maybe? I could be wrong...all the prior seasons are really hazy to me, but this was...every--Like by perfect I mean this was everyone I wanted in top four lol. So no matter who won I woulda been like "great!". But LET'S BE HONEST!! This was Bob's win from day one. For two seconds I thought he had legit competition in Thorgy, until her strong jawed ass started falling off, then it became Bob's to win. So really it was more like...the winner, and then bottom three lol...BUT FUN TO WATCH SO GREAT!
I didn't even fully take to Bob. Not initially, anyway. It was a little...This Is My Black Friend™ to me, you know? You know. BUT! I got more into it. And you know...I prioritize That's Entertainment!! queens over the Look ones. The funny queens pretty much. Though I love a look. I love even more when I get both. Bob was never giving me looks, like his drag is disgusting. But I get that's his thing. I loved anytime he was kind of doing Viola Davis, right? Like I was living for those moments, but a lot of times it was just a fucking...mess of nothing. BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT #RATCHETDRAG???
They were being highkeylowkey racist, non? Particularly Derrick. I could be reading this wrong...but it seemed...racist. Like "ratchet" is the new word for "ghetto". Right but like it's mostly agreed that whites can't just go around calling niggas ghetto without people being like well obviously you're a Republican. But there haven't been any rules or stigma placed on the word ratchet yet AND THERE MOTHERFUCKING NEEDS TO BE. Because when Derrick would call Bob's drag ratchet, he would be saying it like it was an insult. Like, bitch, what's not ratchet about Britney Spears? Please. (Buy Glory on iTunes).
But FINE! Bob does ratchet drag. And boy is that shit fucking ugly. Lol like yikes. But whatever he was mad funny and he had a good attitude and I liked him and kinda want to be friends. No nvm...he seems nice. I can't be friends with nice people I don't get enough sleep for that. MOVING ON!!
Remember when I thought Naomi was going home mad quick but she glowed the fuck up?? Like I started loving Naomi. HOWEVER...idk how I feel about loving a queen purely on looks??? Is it OKAY?? Idk. Like I liked her personality as well, but it's not one to translate onstage in my opinion. Then we have Chi Chi, all personality, but dollar store drag. If I could just...smush Chi Chi and Naomi together into one perfect queen? Anyway I feel like I'm on some eugenics shit right now LET'S MOVE ON!!
Kim Chi. Lovvvvve. So cute. Buttttttttt also kind of another look queen. But definitely like a whole work of art. Her drag is so good and impeccable that I almost don't care that she...can't dance or really entertain in any way other than standing there and looking like some insane anime hello kitty geisha. Well wait,
Except, for.....!! THIS IMPECCABLE, BEAUTIFUL, FLAWLESS MOMENT WHEN SHE DRAGGED THE ENTIRE PIT CREW AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR SOO LONG OMG THAT SHIT WAS SO AWKWARD AND THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND KIM CHI LOWKEY SHOULDA WON BASED JUST OFF THIS BUT ANYWAY THIS ISN'T A PERFECT WORLD WHERE EVERYTHING ABSOLUTELY MAGICAL HAPPENS SO BOB AND HER TIMBERLAND STILETTOS WON, FINE!
So like I said, top one the winner and bottom three the loser queens. CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE THE FINALE SHOW?? So extra and ugly and disgusting lol. And mad drawn out and PLEASE KILL ME OR GET THIS FUCKING OVER WITH WHATEVER'S FIRST BUT PLEASE!! please.
I just...sigh, really hate the finale. Like how many times are you gonna pan to Rumer Willis and Todrick Hall?? Are they the ~famous ones~?? Wasn't Rufus Wainwright in the audience? How come he aint come out when Thorgy said she wanted to perform with him? Then they let her weird ass scratch on a violin for two seconds and there was a weird pause where people weren't sure if it was over and could they clap. Probably too distracted by her Rainbow Brite ass dreads if this bitch DON'T DIE!! Sigh, I hope they have Sufjan Stevens as a host next season. Or on All-Stars? All-Stars is on now. ALYSSA BETTER WIN OR SO HELP ME GOD!! Lol she prob already went home sigh.
p.s....how cum you aint bring back Shangela for All-Starz, Ru? Why are you hating?
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