Hot Tub Time Machine 2

Was this sequel even remotely necessary? Nope!! But when I first heard about it, I got excited? Lol, sad.

So I really liked the fir--Wait. Really liked? Ionoboutalladat. I def enjoyed myself pretty-mostly while watching the first movie, though I'm almost certain if I rewatched it today I'd be like "lol heh...". Like I'm thinking back to it and all that GREAT WHITE BUFFALO and all that shit and I just know that would be annoying and mostly non-funny. Also none of the lead niggas do I really care about except maybe Clark Duke but tbh I feel Clark has been coasting on the magnificence of his background extra work in Superbad, and the beauty that was Clark and Michael, for far too long. Like is he even really that funny, or do he just look like a lesbian serial killer? Wait, I'm forgetting Sex Drive. Sex Drive is in the same league of Hot Tub Machine in that it is a movie I initially thought was pretty funny but if I rewatched it now I'd be like lol alright that's enough. But anyway and in conclusion, Clark Duke looks like a lesbian serial killer.

So in the first movie I didn't really see it for Craig Robinson (I never do, being fat and black w/ an afro is not enuf lol step it up), Rob Corddry (eh), or John Cusack. I kind of care about John Cusack but sometimes he be lookin like Michael Myers and also he's pretty one note. I don't mind actors who are the same in every movie if their sameness is appealing. I feel John's is...usually, mostly, sometimes lol. He was alright in HTTM. Like he isn't overtly funny, he's more dry or whatever. I wonder why he didn't come back for the sequel I thought he was gonna pop up @ the end but he didn't lol. Super awkward but lol I doubt anyone cared he was missing from this. But I also love the shade of him being like check no juliet to this. Especially when I read some article on him once saying he wished he had money to buy paintings lol but he doesn't. Like he was counting on that Edgar Allan Poe thing he did to make a lot of money (lol, John, an Edgar Allan Poe dubstep remix?? cum on), and if it did he would buy some painting he'd been admiring for a while. I mean, I guess coming back for the sequel of this wouldn't have made him that bank. But how does he know? Idk, but I'm fucking SCREAMING.

So The Mask of Michael Myers Except Black Hair's replacement was Adam Scott, who played...John's character's son or some shit, right? Adam Scott was like the only thing I liked about this? I love-ish Adam Scott lol. Like I never don't like him? Not even in Tell Me You Love Me. Does anyone remember that show, like did anyone watch that? I feel like I was the only person who watched that mess and honestly maybe that's the case because HBO ctrl+alt+deleted that shit extra-quick. Like, HBO renewed Looking. Musta been nary a nigga watching Tell Me You Love Me. Lol it wasn't a good show so that's fine but Adam played kind of like a douche and he'd do these scary-aggressive sex scenes with the chick that played his wife in the show or at least that's how I remember it. They were trying for a baby but in like a disturbing, and extremely uncomfortable way? Like how bout neither of you be parents but instead be punted straight into the sun? Anyway, buy Tell Me You Love Me on iTunes. 

So lol anyway what happened in this mess? I, sigh, don't even care or know. Rob Coddry's character Lou made Lougle or some mess so in the future he's mad rich and crazy and long story short someone shot-guns him in the dick blah they get in the hot tub time machine and go back in the past in an alternate...dimension or timeline to stop his killer from killing him blahdy blah blah this movie is too stupid, and poorly envisioned for you to then be getting on my nerves with some geek ass alternative time line bs. Like idk how long Clark was talking that nerd shit but I was like GIRL IF YOU DON'T! Like the movie is already unfunny enough and then here go some Star Trek bs smh. 

I don't even feel like talking bout all that went down but it was mad ridick, and not in a good way. A handful of laughs escaped admittedly and I wanted to die and cry when they did :') Imma need for comedies to not to be like this anymore, going forward. I don't mind lazy but can you maybe be lazy in a better way? This shit was just rolling over to your nightstand half-asleep at four in the morning to jot down some ugly dream you had and then that's the script, no revisions or edits or multiple drafts, just dat. There's gotta be...less shit. Reduce it by at least...25% going forward, okay? It's not 2005, we can't be doing this anymore. Good job on doing a bad job. Good job on being below mediocre but yet they still put your shit in theaters. That's commendable in conclusion.