So maybe I just need wayyyy less Piper. Does not everyone despise Piper? The only time I've seen/heard someone talking about they like Piper was on an imdb message board, I think. There was a post from some aussie nigga who said they didn't relate to the minority characters, but related to Piper, because there are only white people in Australia, and "others". I'm not gonna take seriously the word of someone from a place that makes all their brown people live in the bush. Pretty much everyone except for that one dude on an imdb message board (I only lurk, I don't contribute!!!!) hates ol' Pipehead.
It's not even about hate, though? Because I feel like I strongly dislike so many characters. Like, Healy is mad unlikable. But I love Healy scenes. Don't really care about any of the Spanish girls except for Blanca and Flacaish, but I still care about their scenes and the development of their stories. Like, Dayanara...doesn't have a personality at all. Like, she draws, and has a hanging open all the time ass mouth. But I still care about her horrible scenes. But with Piper I'm just like, eugh, enough!!! It could be because she's like the unofficial "lead" of the show. Like it's based on her prob horrible book, so the story is a little bit being told through her lens. Maybe if Dayanara had written a book (jesus) I would be like "ugh, get out of here!!!" to her.
But why is Piper so boring and annoying?! How you gon' be the lead and be like the least interesting character and also the most irritating?? Where do they do this? Are the writers doing this on-purpose? I can't tell if they secretly hate Taylor Schilling, or if...just everyone on creative is an annoying, oblivious chalkhead, and they just, can't, like, tell that Piper is mad killable. Like, I've seen Weeds, so I know what's up. But as unlikable and horrible as Nancy's ultra-white ass was, I still wanted to watch her story, AND I DON'T WANT TO WATCH PIPER'S, SO FIX IT!!! FIX IT!! DO SOMETHING PLEASSSEEE!!! Like, it would be so clutch if Piper was killed off. My soul would be nourished. Kill Piper off and bring my acceptable-white Nicky back. Do not, I repeat, do not get rid of actually interesting characters, played by actors who can also sort of act. Who actually bring something intriguing to the table jesus god what is happening
AND DO NOT EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT RUBY ROSE HO. AND ESPECIALLY DO NOT EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT HOW SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO STEAL ALL THE FUNDS FROM PIPER'S GREEN DOT CARD--oh, wait, no, Piper got her back for that. Let's talk about how ~~gAngSta~~ Piper is even more boring than regular boring Piper? Why do I almost miss Larry and that chick with the baby (sigh, lowkey I was in to their story)? Oh, Piper's selling prison panties? You can just like tell they're looking for any shit to throw at this bitch. But the panty ring story only made me care about Flaca, and whoever was bitching about the flavor packets. But nice tryyyyyyyy!!!!!
Sigh, maybe season 4 will fix it but lol probably not. Maybe, but lol PROBABLY NOT. But I'll still watch, though, because I am a cog in the machine. HERE'S WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN SEASON FOURRRR!!!:
-um, WAY MORE OF THE BLACKS? :) Wait, am I allowed to be side-eyeing that aussie dude from the imdb message boards when I'm basically like "give me more of the black ppl because I am black so I want to see them more, thanx:))))"?? Nah, it's not the same! First of all, I still care about a lot of the white characters. Pretty much most of them except for Piper and most of the time Alex. So no!! I am not that aussie nigga from imdb!! And also, the black characters are just straight up more intriguing. Like Suzanne's storyline becoming a prolific hentai author was one of my favorites from this season. Wow, more Suzanne. And more Poussey!! Commmmeeeeeee onnnnn! More Poussey!!!! Wtf. Can they explore her problems, more? I feel like I know nothing about her. I want more scenes delving into her alcoholism, and also her struggles with loneliness!! This show is so frustrating omg!! Hopefully next seas with that cooking tv lady coming to the prison, they'll have Poussey on the screen a lot. But omg they better not have that cooking tv lady onscreen more than Poussey haha omg they better not fucking do that :')
-More Brooke? I'm into Brooke now sigh they brooke me no sorry SORRY!!! Brooke is cute sigh and they made me feel bad for her half-Asian hippie ass this seaz, SIGH. How do I feel about the black squad adopting her in? I feel like blacks always gotta be the accepting ones, that's how I feel. But I'm here for it if it means some intriguing...interactions. Is the show shipping Brooke and Poussey? Iono how I feel about that. Maybe Brooke will cure Poussey's loneliness...BUT I AM FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY ABOUT HOW SHE KEPT TALKING ABOUT HOW LONELY SHE IS AND TAYSTEE WAS ALL "YOU GOT ME" AND POUSSEY WAS ALL "THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!" Um, Rudy Huxtable, much? Like I totally ship her and Taystee but I definitely remember Taystee turning down her lesbian advances so...I guess Poussey was feelin some type of way about that sigh idk - we'll see!! (We'll see if they do an annoying love triangle that's gonna have me feelin some type of way but lowkey I'll be into it sigh why can't I ever be highkey into stuff siiighgghghghghh)
-Healy and Red??? <333??? Gross, but...more of them? More of that? I feel so bad for Healy sometimes lol am I supposed to? I really feel like no. Like he's a mess and not in an acceptable way, like...he's some old white dude and mad entitled and ignorant sigh idk, I still want him to find love :( But is Healy on Red's level? Idk about that. Who would be on Red's level? I can only imagine another Russian. Some dude named Yugoslavia and you can't understand anything he says because his jaw is wired shut. He did it himself, just cuz. But Red gives such strong butch tease. I guess it makes sense for her to get with a simp like Healy. She def needs to be with someone she can control, there's no way she could be with a dude who was tryna tell her devil-haired ass what to do, so I guess I'll ship it. It's still gross, tho :')
-So Dayanara's bebe. That shit when Cesar's apartment was raided was crazy, and so predictable - like of course this would happen! Daya and Aleida's family makes me sad. The mom and the oldest daughter in priz together is a fucking mess, and then Daya having a fucking baby there with no real, trustable people to take care of him on the outside - jesus. But watch the show not even take the time to really get into this story and how horrifying it is. They'll just show Daya like crying on the phone because they can't find her baby in the foster care system or some shit. Ugh, please, shit is just about to get really interesting, don't annoy me with the bullshit!!
-Taryn Manning getting some awards show love?????? Like, she's so good as Pennsatucky - that performance is slept on. She was raped twice in one episode this season but no awards noms??? Um, okay!!! Where does this happen?! Whatever, hopefully next seaz she'll get even more to do. Like, that guard still works there. Which is horrifying. I never imagined the dude working at the donut shop would turn out like this lol. It was so random how he just started working at the priz, like reach much? Oh, he brought a donut in to Caputo? Lol #doin2much. No, but I don't like him and he better not rape anyone else but if he does I hope Pennsatuck (I couldn't write the y??¿) goes all Dragon Tattoo LIKE THEY SHOULD'VE DONE THE FIRST TIME THEY HAD THE CHANCE. But it was crushing as hell when Pennsatucky was all "I'm not angry, just sad". UM, WHERE ARE HER GLOBES NOMS BUT OKAY. Maybe she got an Emmy nom tbh I didn't even check to see if she did and...I'm still not gonna check. Also I feel weird stanning for Taryn "the other white bitch in 8Mile" Manning. What do you want me to tell you? Shit happens.
-Lorna and her dude. Only cuz she married John Magaro, whom I've been uncomfortably into since The Box (<.<). So, like, I need more of him on my screen. Also I feel like some interesting shit could go down because Lorna is lowkey a psychopath and her dude seems like he'd do anything for her under the guise of being a ~real man~, so this could get lit. Or the show could just act like Lorna never got married and have her doing some other silly ass storyline :) The latter is more likely :) Never get your hopes up or trust in people :) The human race is doomed :')
-Okay but real quick I hope Blanca gets a backstory or more screentime I lovvvveee her please if you do this I'll start believing in humanity again loljk but please do this anyway :') DO IT!! haha:) It's not a request lolhahahaha :)
-ooooh! ooh! And more Chang! I love her deadpan reads and I lovvvvved her backstory episode, put that binch in my face way more than you do thanx :) stop having minor characters be way more intriguing than main characters ty :)) Also no to Black Cindy converting to Judaism lol miss me with that being like the most intriguing storyline you can give her allah fix it
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