I tried to capture Johnson's soul by taking a screenshot of him with his leg up on that table. Johnson is like the most perfect character in anything I've ever seen. Just the way he got his leg up on that table. So smooth, so obnoxious. I can't.
I tried to screenshot his kind of disgusted side-eye. Why is Johnson literally always looking at Mark with a little bit of disgust? lol is this written in? Is this just Paterson Joseph's face? Either way I want to die
Lol remember when Mark used to really like Sophie? It's so weird to watch the show over knowing how their relationship ultimately turned out; or how Mark's stomach ultimately turned over regarding her. They started so...not as horrible lol. Is this how most relationships go? Asking for a friend. Of course I have met other humans before and formed at least short term relationships with them lol!! :/
Lol this is completely me
:(
But Mark is literally the worst and super-intolerable? lol. How does he exist? Nah, but I can understand being against massages. There's just something weird about someone...massaging your body, no? Like it's weird. Why are you massaging me, sir? I'm less weirded out if it's a woman, but still, why are you kneading my skin like dough? I disagree with your implications.
Idk Mark hugged up with that tweaky ecstasy boy was cute
Mark cleaning his ugly ass carpet up while pretending to be on E is so funny to me. Prob cuz this would be exactly me.
What would that credit card scammer be considered? A pikey? I'm really interested to know what she and Jez did sexually? Didn't he do everything humanly possibly with Nancy? Maybe the credit card scammer veered into not humanly possible? What is that?? Also her talking about gouging that chick's eyes out and that big ass scar on her back omg I'm screaming. Extra screaming at her stealing from tweaker boy and she's like "He prob works at a bank making 200k" or something and Jez is all "I think he works at a juice bar??" and she says like "Still". And tbh, yeah.
So me. Strait-xdge 4 lyfe.
Jez having his 12 Angry moment killed me. But isn't it crazy how cases and shit are decided by a jury of your peers? Like if you're weird or something you're auto going to jail, facts or no. This is my greatest fear that I will be accused of a crime I didn't commit but because I am kind of sketchy-seeming the jury will be like "meh she prob did it, and if not this, def something else, so." And would they be right? Um, yes!!
Mess
If Sophie chucked my shit into the post bin I would chuck her! Mark's a simp!!
Lol, or, idk!! You could not get married?? What is wrong with Mark?? Who decides to propose to someone to fix a failing relationship? Mark doesn't even like Sophie anymore lol he is simply insane. Or is this how a lot of marriage proposals come about? If so, yikes. But...explains a lot.
Me when I meet anyone. I wonder if people realize how crazy they are? It seems to me, no. But literally every new person I meet, my ~spidey senses~ start tingling. There's always something off. However, I could be projecting. That's more likely the case.
What is wrong with Mark? But also: me.
awwww <333 Marry Jez, Mark! Ya dummy!! You're already basically in a common law marriage and you pay all his bills anyway, I don't get it. And Jez is cuter than Sophie! Let's just call it what it is!! Mark's bussy would be happier with Jez than Sophie come on like he is so ridick.
me
mee
Lol this was so funny to me because Mark had already rationed off the chocolate and Jez is talking about taking half of Mark's half and...idk, it's just so Jez.
Jez immediately being like "I didn't kill him!" is my favorite and so me. Ugh I'm such a secret Jez. Like on the surface a Mark, but deep down, well, directly below the surface, a Jez. There is no deep down I am as shallow as Prince William's hairline smh what am I doing
Lol it was so funny to me how Jez was gloating about being right and how Mark was wrong and got attacked by that crow and fell in a ditch and slept in a barn and pissed his legs to keep warm. It was like lowkey a serious situation and Mark could have died? lol idk it was funny how Jez was mad happy and proud. Sigh, so me.
OR YOU COULD SAY NO I DON'T WANT TO MARRY U I DIDN'T EVEN PROPOSE?!?! Also, who goes through someone's bag and sees an engagement ring and then just says "Yes, I accept"?? Like bitch he aint even ask u I'm screaming. And then that whole speech she gave before "accepting" the non-proposal. It was all offensive like "I'm settling! I want kids! You're Mr. Right Here!!". Everyone is terrible. Anyway, I just realized my screencaps are out of order. I jezzed it. I'm just gonna pretend this is on-purpose and abstract and keep it moving.
So, Mark, what the fuck? Fave. And me. What is Mark doing? Why can't he like...want happiness and love and goodness for himself? lol. Like, just want it. Not even try for it or put plans into action to achieve these things, but just desire them?? And he is so sad and horrible but I get my life. Talking about he doesn't believe in divorce when he doesn't even want to get married? What a mess. And then him asking Jez never to bring it up again is so funny and disturbing.
Lol fave. Jez is mad wild for how he disrespects Mark when he don't even pay any rent. How you just gon' let Super Hans smash in his bed? Um, use your bed??
Iconic.
lol meeeee
lol why are the subtitles spelling poo "pooh"? Iconic. Can we talk about the subs for this on Netflix? They're trash? Is this a transcript or just like cribbed notes from the show's sides? The subtitles are merely a suggestion of what is actually being said half the time. Mad distracting while I'm watching this tryna recap for this blog lord fucking help me
lol this was Mark talking about how he needed to "pooh", but didn't feel comfortable doing it in the newly renovated by Super Hans bathroom, so he was gonna go down to the pub and see if he could "pooh" there. He's like wrangling with the idea, trying to decide if he should pay them to poop but then says no he'll just get a drink every time, become an alcoholic so he can pooh. So me.
lol me concerning "working class" types.
I am continually disgusted by the British diet. And I'm American, so. Y'all should be ashamed. Get it together!!! *medium skin tone clapping emoji*
I c o n i c
Why would you do that, Mark??? Fuggin weirdy.
lol I love this mechanic dude. What's his name, Andy? Screaming that he comes back later in the series for Jeremy to therapize him. But I just love how aggressive and hype he is talking about going to therapy. Boy, keep it up!
Yes!! Perfectly captured a Johnson side-eye!! Beautiful! Side-eye wasn't even deserved here lol I'm screaming. Johnson will just be having a normal, banal ass conversation with Mark looking him up and down with disgust. He is my angel, my savior.
me
Truly iconic.
Honestly probably my favorite thing from the show. Jeremy poisoning Mark, and then contemplating raping him, but being a decent human, and not. I think about this sequence of events in my darkest moments and feel glad I don't know anyone like Jez. Except for myself. I know myself. But that's it!!
lol so funny. What drug were they doing - acid? Shrooms? Idk but whatever it was made Super Hans' date fall super far in life and I am honestly screaming at the top of my lungs. Like I just perfectly imagine her room at the center and her masks lol. I imagine they're like really shitty papier mâché kabuki sort of masks??
This was the thing that really solidified my love for the series the first time I watched it. I was completely horrified at everything Jeremy was doing, but at the same time crying tears down my face with laughter. I was just so happy to be watching this. The "You're disgusting" really completes my soul.
Lol this was Mark talking about his future kids looking up at the face of a man who shit in a bag. That's so me. Like I would so think about my future kids looking at a Woman who [blank] anytime I am about to do something I wouldn't want, like, any future kid to know about. But tbh that's my entire life. At this point I am not above shitting in a bag. I have probably...already done it, so :')
lol Super Hans talking to Big Suze about what was going to happen concerning the drugs was really funny idk. Jez was kind of tryna make her think it'd be a lighthearted affair but Super Hans was being all gritty and super-honest about it lol it killed me and then Jez's face which...like...I screenshot literally everything else! Sigh
Lol Bae to the rescue. Iconic. I love how Johnson yells for Mark. It's so beautiful. It's honestly giving me epic, sweeping romance teas.
ICONIC
Omg Johnson's face as he was taking it all in: Mark pooping and the doorlessness of the bathroom - fuck, it's so beautiful I want to cry.
My stomach hurts
I'm screaming at the sounds of Mark's poohing and how it's subtitled as (gurgling).
I C O N I C
This is bollocks, Mark! icon! ic!!!
Jeeeeee-sus, lol. Super Hans killing me softly with his little commentary lol. I love how he totally sees that Mark and Jez are lovers, tho. He may be a crackhead and have the skin of Keith Richards even though he's prob like thirty, but he's perceptive. And possibly German.
I would kill myself if Johnson said he would see me later, much later. Total devastation.
Iconic imagery and dialogue.
Most iconic ending to any episode ever.
Luv Jeremy's comb teeth <333
Iconic moment when Jez was talking about that time Mark wrote Merry a love note or something and Mark getting embarrassed and trying to gloss over it.
Lol Super Hans getting mad hype about Merry getting sectioned is so funny. He's mad excited and scared lol. Merry's been sectioned???! Also, her name's spelled Merry? I can't trust these Jezzy ass subtitles, tbh. But Merry sounds more...British. So I'll allow it.
lol
She coulda just told you she gang-banged a bunch of dudes? There are def way more discomforting words, I think!!! Also, Sophie is totes a gang-bang type broad, yeah? Mark was out of his element with Sophie from day one. He shoulda fell back the first L he received but he kept creepily pushing ahead like the creepy dude he is and I guess he "succeeded". By snatching up a woman who is his match in absolutely no way and whom he ultimately realizes he doesn't even like. A lesson for all creepy dudes: Stay alone in your holes where you belong.
The subs are a mess but Jez's drag of Mark referencing The Hitchhiker's Guide was obviously iconic, but anyway @ me next time :)
More of Jeremy's comb teeth <3333
Ugh I hate this Monk's face. No offense to like the actual human dude who played him. I just mean your character. And also your real life human face :')
Me if I were ever about to sexually fornicate with someone.
lol the other chick Jez's girl Vicky or whatever got to be in their threesome is honestly killing me. I really wish they would have shown how that would go down because I am honestly sick just thinking of it. Wait then why do I want to see? BECAUSE I NEED TO BE IN THERAPY!!!
lol encouraging. Big Suze is so cute I can't deal with her posh ass.
nidniemeomeo,epe,. Jez talking about wishing he could be on "lovely sedatives" like porn stars so he wouldn't have to feel anything as that bitch unwrapped her foot bandage is honestly so iconic.
Jez actually made me mad in this scene? Like, help your friend?? Lol like why did you even go? You know Mark's a simp! Act hard or something to scare his mean bullies away, I don't understand! I can't believe you just sat there while Mark did that high voice wtf??
Everything with Mark slapping that robber boy in the theater is iconic. And, honestly, public service announcement: RUSTLE YOUR POPCORN POLITELY!! Thanks!!
Even Brit "healthy food" looks gross.
Iconic.
DRAG THAT ASS, BIG SUZE!! DRAGGG IT!!!
Mark talkin bout I suppose so. Patheto.
Sad. But me too. Big Suze is mad pretty. She'd let me smash tho. That's the difference between me and Mark! Honestly...I am only saying she'd let someone like Jeremy smash so...she'd let me smash. I am a total loser but at least I have all my hair. Most of it. Two bald spots, tops! Can Jeremy say that????? Maybe :/
Pleez. Mark's sister gives me the creeps lol. Female Mark is a fucking no for me!!
Lol Mark talking about being with Big Suze. First of all: In your dreams. But also: me.
Jez trying to pull Mark's pants off to show he has an erection for Big Suze is what? ICONIC.
DRAG HER POSH ASS!!
Pleez, but exactly.
Okay so I managed to "edit" the pics down to 123, but honestly, HONESTLY, can someone tell me who created Xavier: Renegade Angel? That's like one of the funniest shows I've ever seen but it's like...super disconcerting. Anyway, people keep dying this year but not me?? Kinda weird. Do you think I might be a Chosen One? I think I'm being saved for The Apocalypse. They're gonna need a lot of people to feed to the rat army. Can't wait.
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