Lila & Eve (2015)

Okay here's the thing: it was obvious J.Lo was a ghost like right away. Now, was I second-guessing myself the whole time that J.Lo was a ghost? NOPE! BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE REALLLLLLLY OBVIOUS. They aint even really try to make it seem like...she wasn't?? I'm annoyed because it was just TOO there. Like the second time we see Lila at her meeting for women who lost a child to murder, she like looks over at Eve as she's leaving and IT'S SO OBVIOUS!! IT'S SO OBVIOUS ONLY LILA CAN SEE HER! It should've been obvious the first meeting when Eve just got up and left. AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW RUDE THAT WAS? Lol like Lila was talking but okay. You think just cuz u a ghost that gives you carte blanche to be a rood bitch? That's why ur ass is dead!! 

I did have my moments where I was like...nah Eve is real. I think when they approached that dude at his car he responds to her? But then I was like...he's probably just responding to Lila... It just became wayyyy too obvious after this though like every time Lila and Eve would go somewhere Eve would be in the background, I guess so it wouldn't look weird that no one was interacting with her? Girl... Back to the drawing board with this whack ass "ghost surprise". AND WHAT KIND OF GHOST PLANTS A GUN IN A BOY'S BACKPACK??? I am entirely fucking screaming. Like eventho it was obvious Eve was a ghost...I was kind of getting my life because she was g af and encouraging Lila's scary ass to be the same. Encouraging Lila...to be...lowkey a crazy psycho...murderer. It's like, Lila, girl. You don't think you've killed enough?? Lol LIKE SHE KILLED MAD PEOPLE I'M SCREAMING!! I'M FUCKING SCREECHING UNTIL MY TONSILS BURST LIKE IT'S SO FUNNY HOW IS THIS RETRIBUTION FOR YOUR SON'S MURDER?? YOU DUN KILLED NICGGAS WHO DIDN'T HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO WITH THIS SHIT!! Wait, but like was this movie trying to say that these people's lives didn't matter?? Lol...uhhhhhh. Drug dealing and that whole crime life is not cool or cute and yeah they do contribute to people's deaths...but...idk. Who are you to play God? Even if someone else played God with your son? But like not really he was killed on accident?? Also, what did Bradley ever do to anyone? lol. Okay I guess Lila aint directly kill his bitch ass, but still. Her actions caused his death. Now if Bradley's wasp ass family were to go on some Lila-esque revenge spree would they be wrong? Like do you see how that works and how the cycle never ends? 

I don't agree with this movie's message. And no I don't think it was ~just a movie~. They were really trying to say that some people don't deserve to live lol. Look if I had a son and someone murdered him, even not completely intentionally, probably I'd be on my Lila, too. However I wouldn't expect...the universe to kind of not return my actions back to me. I don't think she evened out her son's murder by killing all those people. But I guess most of them were murderers themselves and they would've gotten there's eventually? Their karma was Lila, I guess? Idk man...lol like I was really screaming and crying at the end when all those women stood up lying, talkin' bout Lila was at their house at the time of HER BLOWING UP ALL THOSE DUDES. 

BUT OMG CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT MOMENT???

Viola gave me chills like pleeeeeeassse!! Look, this movie was lowkeyhighkey FUCKING RIDICULOUS, but my baby Viola completely slayed, PER USUAL! This movie was like...hella goofy! Lol like it was honestly a mess, and J.Lo was in it!!, but Viola killed it. She treated this mess like it was some *Joanne Prada voice* Oscar-worthy ass material. This is why knowing J.Lo was a ghost all along didn't bother me as much as it would have if I were watching something else. First of all, this isn't The Sixth Sense. This wasn't really a horror film, it was a thriller. And it gave me thrills. It would have been nice to fucking have not known Eve was a ghost the whole time, because the reveal would've been cool, but whatever, the movie was entertaining, and Viola gave me everything and honestly I would recommend watching this. It was a fun watch and I got my life. Primarily for wrong reasons, but I still got it! Getting the right answer matters more than how you got it, yeah? Did I use a fucking abacus or a calculator? Who cares! 2+2=4 either way!! What? I DON'T KNOW!! 

Yo, but anyway, was that Viola's real-life boo as the neighbor? I'm too lazy to look but that's def him, right? Aww cute. I love that Viola is important enuff now that she can cast her boo in stuff. Getting to do nepotism is when you know you've made it :') I'm proud of my daughter. I'm still not going to watch How to Get Away with Murder tho. Is Alfred Eneck an actual giraffe?? 

First of all BYE when they were getting dressed up for the club. Also DOUBLE BYE @ Eve's fucking ghost posing like some oldhead Instathot. BUT WHEN THEY WERE TAKING PICS I WAS LIKE OOOOH OKAY SO EVE NOT GON' SHOW UP IN THE PIC AND LILA GON SEE BUT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN!! I GUESS EVE'S GHOST ASS PHOTOGRAPHED?? lol but then later when Lila was showing the pics to the handyman boytoy it was just her in the pics? Lol okay, movie. Okaaaaay.

Acting baes. I love Shea, he's so cute and good at doing acting stuff lol. I still wanted his cop character to mind his nosy cop ass business tho lol. I was like SOOO happy his partner wasn't supporting his assertions that Lila was responsible for the string of murders. Lol eventho I said I didn't agree with the movie's message of killing one thousand niggas for one dude (what sort of eye for an eye remix is this???), I still wanted...Lila to not go to prison. She didn't really kill anyone...good, so. Lol tho @ how they kept the pregnant chick alive so the audience wouldn't be like 

@ Lila not getting arrested. Good look!! 

Is this the molesty aunt from Antwone Fisher? She was giving me moments in the movie. Oh shit she was in Yelling to the Sky, too, oui? Also giving me moments there. Okay, molesty aunt from Antwone Fisher, I see you! Keep it up! This isn't condescending - look @ my blog look @ my life, it's impossible for me to be condescending. Be in more stuff I am being genuine!! Don't suck any dix!! Unless it's for something really good!! Then it's okay.

My bae Chris Chalk was in this! (I literally just learned this negro's name talkin bout some my bae). I've been uncomfortably stanning for him since he was the sniper dood or whatever on Homeland. And then he was in 12 Years! And maybe something else. I don't know he has a look. And he can act. Get bigger! Get a shitty role in some ugly Marvel movie! Omg will you be in Black Panther?? Please! That's like the only upcoming superhero movie I care about. I think you're on Gotham but I hate Gotham? It's really poorly acted... I mean, I know you prob act well in it. But did they deleet Ryan from The O.C.? If not then... Anyway I like this pic of you on presumably a red carpet in a North Face pull-over?? You're going far.

me...