Shelter (2014)

Okay what is wrong with Paul Bettany that he would make a movie like this for his wife to be in? Like it's cute if your wifey is your muse but less than cute if her being your muse produces harrowing, depressing, disturbing ass shit like this?? Like what is going on in the Connelly-Bettany household? NOPE, DON'T WANNA KNOW!! 

We at least know what was going on outside their house, right? A whole fucking play! Starring like two homeless people and their horrible, homeless ass life. Bettany really had the nerve and audacity to dedicate this mess to "the couple who lived outside my building". Bitch, if you don't get your rich, white ass outta here with that mess!! Lol no I love Paul, but have some fucking self-awareness for once. And I bet this over-the-top ass movie was him filling in like 99.9% of the blanks. He prob saw a homeless crackhead couple outside of his building every time he left to go film Priest 2 or whatever the fuck and he concluded: everything that unfolds in this movie. 

Paul is bored. Paul prob wasn't even going to film Priest 2, he was prob just sitting in his window sippin tea looking down on these two homeless critter cats and lettin' his imagination run fucking wild. Nigerian immigrant muslim who joined Boko Haram and burned women and children!! The woman one does heroin and abandoned her son oh and her husband was a doctor in Afghanistan and got blown up in a terrorist attack!! Like, boy, if you don't simmer your ass down and get a Netflix account like everybody else!

But eventho I'm for almost no reason dragging Paul's powder-white ass to hell and back, this was actually a good movie. Well, sigh. It's hard to decree a movie so fucking depressing as this as "good". Like, bitch - what's good? There were like zero happy or even mildly lighthearted moments? I just felt like I was being abused the whole time? Like I was watching some fucking Lars von Trier trauma-fest, but at least his mess has some little black comedy moments here and there. Okay, girl, what was black comedy about Antichrist please cease and desist thanx.

This movie was...tough. I was expecting it to be really bad, though. Not sure why. Anthony "They didn't get a horse to direct Seabiscuit!!" Mackie? Anthony is actually...an actor I like. I've been quietly caring about his little bitch ass since Half Nelson. And Jennifer Connelly serves me each and every time. You need a bitch to depress you TO DEATH? Jen's your gal!! So the acting leads weren't putting me off. Maybe the movie description. It was giving very this indie was probably made in 2005 for like fifty dollars and it was a runaway hit at Sundance teas. This movie wasn't doing too much new, but it was done well, even so. I think. I mean, a movie about two homeless people who are not only desperate but full of guilt and remorse for past horrible deeds, is supposed to be...really sad and heartbreaking, and this movie gave that. So, good job? 

I never want to see this again. 

Anyway, here's a pic of Jennifer Connelly screaming to deter you from watching and feeling like killing yourself afterwards

or maybe you'll feel grateful for life? Nah, that's not how I'm wired. AND BITCH CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS BITCH SCREAMING AFTER TAHIR KILLED THAT DUDE?? BRINGING MAD ATTENTION TO THE CRIME SCENE??? WHY SHE CARE IF HE WAS DEAD? THE NIGGA U GOTTA SUCK OFF FOR SOME MEDICINE AND A PLACE TO SLEEP??? TALKIN BOUT U LOOK JUST LIKE HIS DAUGHTER??? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS HO?? AND I'M MAD TAHIR HAD TO BE SACRIFICED SO THIS STUPID BITCH COULD TAKE HER SILLY ASS BACK HOME TO HER KID. #stopsacrificingblackcharactersforwhiteadvancementblog