After (2012)

So Sky High bae Steven Strait and Karolina Wydra (¿?) play two strangers on a bus, named Freddy and Ana. Freddy tries to chat Ana up. He does some shitty drawing of her. Ana is mad disgusted, as she should be. She's all "...Do you mind, I am trying to journal?". At some point in this awkward approach, Freddy and Ana discover they're from the same town and live on the same street. Freddy is all "WHAT HOUSE DO YOU LIVE IN???". Ana is mad creeped out, as she should be, and Freddy is like nvm, but suggests he and Ana go get coffee sometime. It's mad awkward because she obvi wishes he were dead. Thankfully, the bus crashes.

Ana wakes up late for work. She's getting ready and she discovers she has hairy armpits. WOW. OMG, SEW WËRD. Look, movie: Don't ever try to imply someone has maybe been in a coma for a long time through fucking armpit hair length. Some bitches don't shave. This is a too fucking lazy 2 shave suck the matted lint out of my tangled armpit hairs blog, thank you! 

So whatever lol, fast-forward to weird shit happening. Like, oh, the town is completely abandoned. Ana doesn't find another sign of life until she runs into Freddy. Or, she hears him playing music mad loud in his house and breaks in?? Something like that.

So it's just the two of them. Basically they were in a bus accident... I think everyone else on the bus died but they were the only survivors? Ana is in a coma. She has to figure out how to get through the enclosing fog, or else she dies on the other side. Like if the black fog encompasses them, she dies in her coma. 

  

Before Ana and Freddy figured out all the tea, I felt they were under-reacting. There's literally no one around. They can't leave this town because it's enclosed by a mass of fog. Oh, and Ana ran into her dead aunt and a fucking younger version of herself that was blonde, and didn't have a Polish accent smh. I mean... I don't know how they were supposed to be acting, it just seemed they weren't as freaked out as I felt they needed to be for the severity of the sitch.

Whatever. Freddy and Ana have like twoish days to figure out how to get out of the purgatory they're in, that is also...Ana's conscience? Um. So there was a lot going on here kind of? 

-Ana being in a coma and them being on The Other Side

-but also it was in her...head? Or soul?

-Ana and Freddy share souls?? 

-Does that allude to them being soulmates? The movie definitely implies it, but an annoying part of me wants to understand the sci-fi logic of the world this movie set up, if you feel me? Like...if they're in Ana's mind (are they?), how is Freddy having flashbacks to his weird stepdad, which Ana would know nothing about? But if they share souls, then I guess? 

Can we talk about how Freddy killed Ana's aunt??????!?!? No, can we go back to talking about how Ana has like some sort of Eastern European accent with dark features but the younger version of her was completely opposite and possibly not even of the same ethnicity lol. AND THE SAME WITH FREDDY. Is Steven Str8 ~spicy white~?? You know in that Jason Momoa sort of way? Idk, but the kid who played the young him looked nothing like him did casting even try I'm.

Idk, the ending blah blah. Freddy got killed in Ana's...coma, by some fucking monster thing. And omg when will this end. Ana escapes the world in her coma, and wakes up. She immediately goes to find Freddy. He's in a wheelchair and doesn't remember her, but at the end the movie implies maybe Freddy a little does remember and Ana & Freddy are soulm8s and I think they kiss? It's not okay, Ana, he's mentally impaired.

After (ha) I watched this movie, I remembered thinking it wasn't that bad. There were so many bad and cheesy elements, but it held my interest. However, now, writing about it, I'm hard pressed to remember why I a little bit didn't hate this. I guess the movie had some interesting ideas? The execution was abysmal, but I'm not a stickler, if you can tell by my terrible writing. But, uh. This was pretty bad lol. But it's worth a watch, maybe. Not really, but maybe lol.