Fort Apache, The Bronx (1981)

What the fuck was this? Fort Apache, The Bronx: Or, How I'll Watch Any Movie Cuz Paul Newman Is In It. 

So P New plays some Irish cop dude named Murphy. I thought Newman was cute in this role. But I'm biased. Like I'm a Newman stan and think he's cute in anything, so. Like if you like Newman...not sure if you'll like this movie, but you'll def like watching him play this sort of faux-grizzled cop who has this...almost out of place optimism? Even though he's playing pessimist? Idk, it's typical Good Cop bs, but I liked it on Newman. I don't think I've ever seen him play a cop? I could be wrong but I don't remember.

Murphy works for some police station in I guess one of the worst precincts? I guess cuz of all the hispanics lol. The cops kept reiterating how no one spoke English. Bitch...get some Latino cops, kaduh??? And then there's a lot of crime because, guess what? People are poor. The cops stay bitching like omg so many spanish so many poor!!!!! How do we cop??? It was a mess but likely super-accurate. 

Real talk I watched this movie some weeks ago and forgot almost everything. What I remember:

-Murphy's partner, Corelli, played by some dude named Ken Wahl. Do I know Ken Wahl? Is he even Italian? Wahl doesn't sound like an Italian name hmmmmm. Lemme find out! But I liked Corelli. I liked how he kept talking about how his appearance, dressing for success, so 2 speak, would move him up in life. Just his whole self-help manifestation character was very cute and sweet and I liked how he had Murphy's back, even after he said he'd be a snitch for telling on Morgan. 

-Speaking of Morgan. Him throwing that kid off a roof. Uhhhhhhhhh. That was a great scen--Great is a stretch. That was a riveting scene in the movie, I think. When Murph and Corelli were on one roof and they were looking over at another roof and saw Morgan and his partner. And at first it was mad innocent like oh hey there go Morgan and them, but then Morgan and his partner started roughing up that Latino kid who wasn't doing anything?? And then thREW HIM OFF THE FUCKING ROOF??? Murphy and Corelli were FUCKING SHOOK. But bitch, me too!! Tho can't say I was like, shocked lol. Of course Danny Aiello is throwing some minority kid off a roof. That just screams him.

-Pam Grier as a murderous prostitute. Like we totally could have had a movie of just that character. Like what was she doing lol was she a witch? A mermaid demon? I needed so much more information, but they just killed her off. And in like a mad weak way but okay. But maybe it was a vampire metaphor. Like she was sort of staked? I'm sincerely reaching to make her character have more substance smh.

-Isabella od'ing. Talking about drugs were a vacation to her, she not an addict. Anyone describing drugs as a vacation is an addict, sweetie :') But to be fair, she was poisoned by those dealers. But whyyyyyy would her stupid ass be having her cop boyfriend dropping her off at the trap haus? Not so smart. But like did she deserve to die? No, but like those dudes were crazy so like moral laws don't apply or whatever. But anyway it was sad when Murph discovered she was dead and was trying to walk her around to get her to wake up? Jesus.

This movie was weird and random. But I'd recommend it just for that. I don't think it's particularly...good, but there are interesting elements. The main one being Paul Newman playing an Irish cop. Thanks, goodbye.