It Follows (2015)

So...was this movie an allegory about...sex? How sex...affects...people? I'M EXTREMELY DUMB, but it seems that the...haunting or whatever, was like an std. And this movie was kind of like saying, What if sexually transmitted diseases were like...idk, evil spirits? Or evil spiritual attachments? Sexually transmitted demonic hauntings. Which is a cool, sort of sci-fi little idea. 

I was really excited to see this movie but I gotta learn about getting excited to see these hyped indie films. They're always underwhelming. It Follows was--I felt detached from the subject matter. For me, for horror films, I need to connect. Because ultimately I want to be scared. This wasn't scary, but if you look at it from a more sci-fi angle I think it's pretty intriguing. It was enjoyable to watch for the most part. I didn't know what was going to happen and I was definitely interested in seeing what was.

OKAY BUT WHAT WAS THE ENDING? Wait, first, what was their fucking idea to like electrocute the spirit thing out of Jay?? Lol. That just seemed entirely incredibly dumb. WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHEN PAUL SHOT YARA IN THE LEG AND SHE WAS JUST SITTING OFF TO THE SIDE HOLDING HER LEG KIND OF GROANING??? Idk that was just really funny, but shout out to Olivia Luccardi your gap is so cute and I want to see you in more things. Like Yara and her little clam book reader thing was the best character in the film, hands down be quiet!

WAIT! Can we talk about that random spiel about Detroit and 8 Mile? That was really random. Was it some sort of racial commentary? Can't be! Eminem was from 8 Mile, soooo! But like seriously why were they randomly talking about the divide from Detroit suburbs to the inner city or whatever? Whoever wrote this film does know that's how suburbs and cities work, right???? Like the suburbs are "nice" and the cities are "rough" and if you're from the suburbs your parents warn you about crossing over a certain line, because there's grass and then there's jungle. I wonder if their twenty second commentary about Detroit and 8 Mile or whatever ties into whatever metaphor this movie is trying to...metaphor lol. Like the thing with how it stops being suburbs and starts being the city at a certain point. Does that tie in with--what I believe, anyway--is commentary on...how sex affects you? I mean, I wish I were less dumb, because I could like...intellectually fucking parse better. And I know this movie is not even smart lol and that's what kills me. But I just wish I was smart enough to decode not even smart things. Life is hard.

But anyway!! Again! What the fuck was the ending?? Jay ends up with Paul's dry ass? Real quick can we talk about how I used to love Keir Gilchrist? When he used to be Moosh on United States of Tara and was giving me everything I needed as Tara's consistently pressed son? Now I like...don't care. Too bad so sad but I still wanna know how Paul ended up bagging Jay? She didn't wanna fuck him so bad that when she HAD to fuck someone else to get ride of her curse, SHE DIDN'T WANT TO??? I almost wonder if the demon thing was like Paul at the end? And like the curse is Jay has to date him? Lol idfk. Oh wait, I forgot they fucked. Or. Hmm. Did she pass it on to Paul? What the fuck happened, bro? No. I def feel they fucked something up in the thunderstorm at the pool and so she fucks Paul and now she's cursed with having to date him. Sucks, man. Anyway, 7/10 would recommend.