At first I thought this gathering of ~hot~, young, irrelevant boy actors would be kinda lame. I mean, I was seeing fucking...Moises Arias, that chunky blonde bitch from Awkward, that whack bitch from Animal Kingdom, and a bunch of other super-ugly boi actors I be seeing in shit, unimpressing the shit out of me. When Michael Angarano is the fucking Pacino of your film, in my estimation you have a problem.
Wrong! Very wrong. This movie was EXTREMELY LIT, and Michael Angarano as the Pacino went THE FUCK AWF!!!
Where to even begin. I watched this movie primarily for Ezra Miller, because that's where I'm at in my life. I am a fucking fan of Ezra Miller. Pleez. Also, Michael Angarano. Did it seem like I was shading him up there? Because I hope so, I was. But I been stanning for old boy...for a minute. I wanna say since Sky High, but I think it's been since before that. I think he was in some kid shit I used to watch all the time idk whatever who cares. I will definitely watch a movie or show if I know Angarano is in it. However I stan for Ezzie more and watched this shit the most for him, either way I want to die.
Okay so Billy Crudup plays some dude named Dr. Philip Zimbardo. He's doing some "study" about how prison affects the psyche or some shit idk. He advertises for a two week study that involves a bunch of men coming in and participating in a prison simulation. Some men will play prisoners, some will play guards.
Zimbardo and his colleagues interview all the men, mainly kind of trying to see if any of them are mental, I think. Then he asks all of them if they want to be a prisoner, or a guard. Everyone says prisoner. Lol, WHAT? Who the fuck wants to be imprisoned??? What a bunch of whites lol. What a completely unclear idea of what it feels like to be oppressed and to have your rights taken away smh. I would say guard SO MOTHERFUCKING QUICK! And ask if I was getting a stick and taser, FUCK THAT!!
But it don't matter what they say they want, Zimbardo and them flip coins and that's how they decide who will be prisoner and who will be guard.
Notable prisoners: Ezra, Tye Sheridan, Johnny Simms (whom I have never saw it for, but he was good here), Chris Sheffield, and my bae Ki Hong Lee, who kept asking for his pills (vitamins) (me).
Notable guards: Michael Angarano aka "John Wayne". And no one else. Michael Angarano as a guard was probably one of the most doing the most performances I have ever seen. It was iconic, honestly. Like, bro. THIS ISN'T REAL. He really went all in for like seven dollars an hour. Wait how much were they making? It wasn't a lot because I remember thinking they sounded sad when they were speaking of their pay lol. (Oh it was some shit like fifteen dollars a day! Bruh.) But Michael Angarano's character coming through and taking this shit sooooo seriously was so lit and legendary. I despised his character lol he was so ugly and hateful. Like, even though he was ~pretending~ for the ~study~, it was clear that was just really him lol. Like this study allowed him--Like gave him this safe space to be his truly awful self, and oh, cool, get paid for it.
What was soooooo funny to me in the movie was how mad shit would be happening, right? And then like DAY 1 would pop up on the screen!!! Like I would be DYIINNNNNG, BITCH! I swear to god they were going the fuck in up in there and it'd be like two hours lol! Byeeee!!!!!!! Like how many times did Ezra get put in fucking what's it called? The isolation closet or whatever. He was there for TWO DAYS and tried to fucking overthrow the government like a million times, got his ass beat, tried to escape, was going through all this strife, had a breakdown and dipped. All this shit in two. days.
I was annoyed when Ezra left the film lol?? Like I watched this shit for you?? But nah it was fine because Angarano was still turning up. Also I found other prisoners to care about like Tye Sheridan's character, killing me softly, and them other notable prison niggas I mentioned. Oh, I also a little cared about chunk from Awkward. I completely forgot entirely what all happened with him, but he had a good amount of screentime and I remembered caring.
While watching the film, I was primarily getting my life from shit happening in the "prison". But I was also a little bit getting my life from scenes with the doctory science people running the study. Zimbardo and his geek squad and Nelsan Ellis' random ass ex-fucking Alcatraz character. Wait which priz did he come from? Gitmo? Idk, but he came from some famously extreme prison environment. Zimbardo's coon ass black colleague was looking at Nelsan's character like WHY ARE YOU HERE, PLEASE? Like bitch mind ur bidness.
Zimbardo was entirely doing the most having Jesse there. Like ooooh a real life ex-con. He knows what REALLY happens in a priz. And like when dudes would try to leave the study, he'd be there to claim they were faking, or talk of how tough he had it or something, so they could take their ass right back on in there. DOING THE MOST CUZ, GUESS WHAT? NOT A REAL PRISON!!! Not a real prison. You want to do a study on how prison affects people, ummmmmmm I DON'T KNOW, take your ass to an actual prison?? The fuck. Zimbardo was just doing way too much for me. And he was mad excited by terrible things. Was I getting Frankenstein teas from watching this? Yeah I think at one point when Zimbardo's girl called him out??? Idk, it was lit. Like it was real bad lol, but like in an entertaining great way?????
What made Zimbardo end the study? Was it Tom saying bastard so his fellow inmates wouldn't have to do push ups? Or was it Angarano and the other guards being weird and getting the prisoners to simulate fucking? I know for me it was Tom putting his morals aside to kowtow to John Wayne. That scene was lit, but I was pissed when Tom said bastard. Heartbreaking, and I am not even joking please watch this movie why was this made who decided to make this please.
The end interviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With them post the study. Bitch, I got my entire life with the one at the very end with 8612 and John Wayne. It looked really contrived, like Ezra and Angarano had seen real footage of such interviews, and they looked like they were mimicking them to the t, especially Angarano. It was so bad it was good. Where the fuck is Angarano's appreciation?? I mean I know I was shading the shit out his pasty mealy ass but like, he Did That™. From beginning to end, bitch. Ezra was Ezra, per ush. Tye Sheridan made me really care about his character. What a come up from being the brother with like no lines in that long ass The Tree of Life. Who else? Billy was good. Very creepy, but he kept it from being over the top. It seemed like a realistic unhinged sciencey person performance, where the work takes precedence over the subject. Also really loved Nelsan Ellis. That scene where they were interviewing Johnny Simms' character for parole was iconic. When Olivia Thirlby looked down at his blank ass paper I WAS THROUGH!
This movie was fun as hell to watch. But also disturbing. But I have a lot of problems so that didn't bother me too much. The kind of shitty seventies costuming did a bit? The facial hair was fucking tragic, but I'll allow it because the movie was so on point. But don't ever do those falling ass off lacefront moustaches and side burns again. You know you were wrong for that. You know you were.
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