Bessie (2015)

quick poll:

Who dissolved edges more in Bessie?

a. Queen Latifah? 

2. Mo'Nique? 

$ Khandi Alexander?? 

I can't decide. At first it was 100% Mo'Nique. I was absolutely fucking non-stop screaming the minute she came on the screen. Like I was just really here for her character, even though it seems she didn't do her own singing? Probably for the best - moving on!! This movie really made me miss Mo'Nique as an actress and I'm hella annoyed she was so-called blacklisted. And I don't even want to dimish it or anything by writing "so-called", it's just that...maybe Mo'Nique is really a mess to work with and maybe it makes sense not to hire her? But at the same time...she's so great! Like, really thundering and just a presence and it's like...if angry white males such as Sean Penn, etc. can keep getting hired, why can't Mo'Nique get hired?? Get this bitch on-screen more, please - her absence is entirely ridiculous. 

But then they got rid of Mo'Nique like twenty minutes into the movie, right???? I mean, she came back at the end, but????? But????? Like??? I was upset??? She just threw Bessie off the train and poof no more Mo'Nique for like the next hour? Except for that one random moment in the middle of the movie where they showed her listening to Bessie's album. *eyeroll*. So, whatever, they leave us with Queen Latifah. I'm not a huge fan of her, like, in general. I don't hate her, and don't get disgusted/repulsed when she's in a movie like I do with soooo many other people lol, but I also don't look for her. But I thought she was good in this and had some great moments. Like, if all this movie gave me was her pushing that white bitch off of her at the party, I would be 100% satisfied. Like, if this movie was just a loop of that over and over again?? Give this bitch the Emmy now just for that, I mean. And that entire party scene with the whites - loved it. When she sang in that raw way she sings at this sort of stuffy event and it was sort of awkward but she completely ignored that and slayed. And then when she went off on Oliver Platt, who has got to have one of the most annoying presences as an actor omg. 

And that scene when she stripped down in front of the mirror! It's like they took Viola's moment from How to Get Away and were like, "lol we're on HBO" and just compounded on that shit and I loved it. Loved her performances and also I didn't realize the first time she sang was supposed to not be considered a good performance?? lol like the people were booing her and I'm sitting watching like "yaaaas". So, hmmm lol. Which one of her boos did QL work off better? I can't tell. I felt like she worked really well opposite Michael K, but at the same time, their relationship grossed out/horrified me. I liked her little moments with Mike Epps who I'm sort of quietly starting to be here for, which is upsetting me, and I can't :( wait :( for that :( Richard Pryor :((( biopic :/ But probably her sweetest moments were with Tika Sumpter?? And this movie sort of made me care about her more, too? 

But why am I talking about any of these people when Khandi Alexander was in the building, hmm?? I don't even stan for Khandi Alexander, simply because I can't name a single thing she's been in that I've seen. She's been recently on Scandal, right? Well, I don't watch that. I'm sure there are like a thousand movies from the nineties she's been in that, if I go look on her imdb page, I'll be like "ohh!!". But she's not totally on my radar like that - or she wasn't. But like 100% now she is. First of all, please @ her cheekbones. Whyyyy. No, cheekbones don't make a good actress, but they totally help if you're shit. Khandi isn't shit, though, and I loved every minute she was on-screen here. She was so nasty and passive aggressive but in like a lowkey way but also in a highkey way if that makes sense I'm sure it doesn't. They don't even show her abusing Bessie, it's just implied, but when we first see her I'm like shuddering, she's super horrifying. And the whole scene with Bessie coming back home and sending someone out for cola and peanuts and giving her money - just everything Khandi did in this scene. Then when she turned up later and was rummaging through shit in Bessie's room on her train. Bessie picked up those scissors and I 100% thought that was the right move because what the fuck is this devil witch bitch about to do? Leave relaxer on my scalp too long and disintegrate all my strands? CORRECT. And her moving into that house Bessie bought and being a lowkey snake and making little comments while at the same time tending to Bessie. It was crazy to me how Bessie had all this success and was this grown, seemingly independent woman, but around her sister she was still that same scared little girl and I love how both of them played this, but especially Khandi. LIKE AFTER JACK TOOK JACK JR. AWAY FROM THE HOUSE AND BESSIE WAS SCREAMING AND ANGRY AND WAS LIKE "YOU LET HIM IN" AND KHANDI WAS JUST SITTING ON THE COUCH SIPPING THAT TEA?!!? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE.

So, I think Khandi won the edge snatching contest. Like she came through late and stole the whole game. But all three of them were really great and I better see some fucking Emmy and Globes noms for this shit. Also I better see Mo'Nique getting her own show or some shit. And not a talk show, because please.